Harry Potter and the Two Crazy Girls
by TwoCrazyGirls
Summary: ...the story you were never told...It's INSANITY! With a plot! It really is just a nerdy story. We didn't pay any attention to keeping ANY of these characters in character. I mean, after all, it IS the story you were never told...
1. Beginnings

_Alright, so this is our first chapter rewrite. The chapters aren't too much different, but if you're curious, go ahead and read them. As of right now, we have updated chapters 1-20. Read and tell us what you think._

Maiawen Forthe. A strange name. Perhaps not a strange as her friend's name, Cham Charm, but odd just the same. Dumbledore sighed. They were American exchange students in the fifth year. A bit older than most of the other fifth-years, at age seventeen, Misses Charm and Forthe had been transferred from the American school Phoenixfeathers, located in the wilds near New York City. It seemed as though they were fairly intelligent though they had suffered at the lax schooling system that the American Wizard Council of Humanities was in charge of.

In fact, this was one of the reasons Dumbledore had questioned whether it was a good idea to house two exchange students. There were other reasons as well, but he had met with them, and they seemed as though they would fit in nicely, despite their queer accents. With Miss Charm, it was blatant mispronunciation, but with Miss Forthe it was different. It couldn't be described as an accent, but she spoke as though she thought about each word before saying it, shaping the words carefully in her mouth. There was also the matter the American Wizard Council had brought up. He found it hard to believe, especially considering that the council members weren't sure themselves, but they had heard from an outside source that Miss Forthe was a Proteus.

This was tricky. Proti were very much like animagus, except for the fact that they did not have to go through the difficult procedure most wizards used. In fact, Proti were the extremely rare (thankfully) offspring of magical creatures and humans. Every once in a while, some astonishingly intelligent magical creature would figure out a way to become an animagus and turn into a human. In fact, Dumbledore knew a few centaurs and even a mermaid who had figured out how to do this. He was even sure there were a couple of dragons who had learned how to use their own magic to shapeshift. Yes, Maiawen Forthe was a Proteus.

Turning back to the letter, the aged wizard pondered. Miss Charm was also stated to have a special talent, though hers was less obvious. Could it be that she really had the gift of ironic conversion? Most witches and wizards with this talent were known for their ability to say something (usually without even thinking) which could cause alterations in reality. Generally speaking this talent was related only to small things, but without proper training it could become a very annoying power.

Sighing, he wondered how he was supposed to admit two new witches into Hogwarts when they were old enough to be seventh-years. Well, he had to admit that the American wizards' council was more lax with age when they admitted students to their schools. Still, such power could endanger the students. But on the other hand, Hogwarts would be the safest place to guard and teach these two adolescents. Besides, both were oblivious to their talents. Perhaps here they would learn how to control them, or at least have plenty of powerful witches and wizards nearby to quell any dangerous occurrences.

After a long internal battle, Dumbledore finally came to a conclusion and began the letters of admission.

X…X

Two weeks later:

For the two girls (as well as the small first-years gathered in the entryway) it was a relief to get in from the driving rain outside. All the other students had already gotten inside the warm, dry, castle leaving only the first years lingering outside the Great Hall. Well, them and the two girls. Everybody else was already there, waiting with mild interest and slight pangs of hunger for the first years to be sorted so they could eat.

The first of the two older girls was relatively tallish, with reddish hair and grey eyes; the picture of a regular Hogwarts student, except for her strange accent. It was hard to describe, but from what the first-years heard, it was definitely not British. Her voice wasn't abrasive, but it seemed oddly discordant, as if she were uncomfortable speaking. She didn't seem afraid to speak there, however, and she made her feelings about being wet and cold and hungry quite known. Since she was louder than most of the first-years, the smaller students took notice of her abnormal accent and stared without shame. The girl just glared back.

Her friend was just an inch taller than her, but she often boasted about it. In fact, she did so every chance she got. She had straight black hair that was just long enough to hang in her eyes and cover half her face, as well as the rest of her head. Bouncing up and down with the speed of a child who has eaten sixteen bars of chocolate, the black-haired girl seemed extremely excited.

A stern teacher suddenly appeared, immediately introducing herself as Professor McGonagall, and ushering them into the Great Hall. She attempted to line them up in single file, but did not succeed since they just reverted back into their small, huddled mass. The red-haired girl muttered, "We look like a bunch of cattle." Those who happened to be near her giggled nervously as if they didn't know whether to laugh or not. The girl's strange, black-haired friend burst out into obnoxiously loud laughter. Several people stared, including teachers and some of the less occupied students.

Standing near the front, the stern teacher placed an old, battered hat on a stool. It sang a rather annoying song, and then became quiet again. Professor McGonagall called a student's name, beckoning the nervous boy forward to be sorted. Setting the hat on the student's head, she waited until it shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!" before removing it and calling the next person up.

"Charm, Cham!" The strange black-haired girl trotted up, wiggling in her seat as the hat sorted her. "SLYTHERIN!" A sullen looking man with onyx hair and a very large hooked nose choked on his drink.

"Uh," Cham took off the hat, "Can I try again?"

A number of students giggled. The teachers seemed to be uninterested, carrying on their own conversations with each other until Professor McGonagall called, "Forthe, Maia!" Was she that other exchange student? How odd to see someone who had grown up half a world away. The hat dropped over her head, blinding her to the outside world and shutting out all the curious eyes.

"Hmm…" it said in her ear, "I know where you belong—SLYTHERIN!" The force of the hat's shout was enough to make her topple over.

A few of the teachers at the head table glanced in the direction of the hook-nosed teacher.

"You got both of the exchange students!" 

"Good luck…I've heard about those Americans."

A pink-clad professor to his left looked at him with a pitying smile and patted his arm comfortingly. He withdrew his arm bad-temperedly and grimaced, though he was sure he could handle them. They were fifth-years, after all. Just three years and he'd be rid of them. He observed as the two girls found seats at the Slytherin table. The ever-annoying Draco Malfoy and his two goonies, Crabbe and Goyle, immediately greeted them, pleased to be the first students to make an impression on the Americans.

"Malfoy's the name, Draco Malfoy." The blonde haired boy indicated his two friends, "This is Crabbe, and this is Goyle. They're not much to look at or to talk to, but they're good at other things." Both boys cracked their knuckles as if to make their point.

Maia proffered her hand and shook Malfoy's hand, "Maia, Maia Forthe. Pleased to meet you," she said in her strange non-British accent.

Cham burst in; "I'm Cham! Cham Charm. Isn't it the best name ever?" Leaning over to Maia, she stated, "Cham Charm!" as if it was a joke and burst into a fit of giggles.

Maia closed her eyes and sighed.

"Hey, sit by us. You'll need good friends like us to help you in this place." Malfoy seemed intrigued by Cham.

Of course, by the time food appeared Maia and Cham had been accepted as Slytherins and were being orientated by Malfoy and his friends. By bedtime, Maia had had her ears talked off, and she felt as if she had been brainwashed. It was a relief to be able to get to sleep.

X…X

The next morning after receiving their schedules at breakfast, Maia and Cham arrived at their first class a bit early, eager to see what these British people taught. The teacher, a gigantic burly-looking man, was bent over a pile of salamanders, tossing them by the handful into a fire (each handful contained about thirty salamanders). The lizard-like creatures seemed to enjoy the flames, skating happily along the logs. When he caught sight of Maia, he stood, "Ah, yeh must be that new student." He offered her his very big hand, which she shook. "Maia Forthe, isn't it?"

She nodded, "You must be Professor Hagrid."

He laughed, "Just Hagrid will do." He shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets, "So, yer in Care of Magical Creatures, are yeh?"

"Yeah, me and—"

Cham interrupted, "Me!" Pausing, she giggled, "Ha ha, me and me…teehee, you're funny Maia."

Hagrid raised an eyebrow, "This mus' be your friend."

Maia looked away from Cham in embarrassment, "Sometimes I wish I could say otherwise," she muttered.

Hagrid burst into loud laughter that died out as the other Slytherins approached.

Malfoy and his gang instantly crowded around them, laughing and joking about some first year Gryffindor that had spilled his milk all over the new Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher, Professor Umbridge. Malfoy caught sight of Hagrid, who seemed to suddenly want to leave.

"Hey! Hagrid, what're we studying today? More flobberworms?"

Maia punched him painfully in the shoulder, interrupting all the Slytherins' giggles, "Stop it. As a matter of fact, I happen to like this class."

Malfoy immediately shut up.

X…X

The next class, Potions, was a completely different story compared to Care of Magical Creatures. Maia did **not** like this class. She and Cham chose seats at the back of the room, very far away from the teacher in the front. He did not look amiable like Hagrid, or even reasonably considerate like Dumbledore. He was most definitely not a kind person.

Starting class with the role call, he paused at Cham's name, leaving just enough room for one annoying student to butt in, "Ha! Who would name their kid that?"

Cham would have retorted with a keen remark, but she was obliviously sniffing all the ingredients on the table.

The teacher merely cast a bored glance in the student's direction, obviously too unaffected to do anything about it.

Maia was going to stick up for her friend, but the teacher continued with roll call, cutting her opportunity off. Instead, she settled with mouthing threats to the loudmouth boy across the room. She was in the middle of a particularly violent bodily illustration of what she would do to him after class, when she heard her name as well as a soft, drawling comment, "It seems Miss Forthe has realized just how much more comfortable we all are when she does not speak."

The teacher had approached while she was in her ignorant state of silent communication, and his hand rested on the desk as he continued, "Now would you be so kind as to **sit down**?"

Maia did so with wide eyes. She couldn't stand it when this man was ridiculing Cham…but it was scary when he towered over her like that. Silence seemed to be her best bet. She muttered a barely audible, "Yes sir."

"Good." He returned to the front of the room to continue the roll call and lecture on the importance of the potion they were about to brew. "…and having properties similar to those brewed by ancient alchemists, this potion can turn the most ordinary metal into gold."

Maia couldn't help it; she burst out laughing. "Lead into gold? Are you mental?"

The professor was not amused. Raising an eyebrow, he suggested, "Perhaps Miss Forthe would care to demonstrate."

She shook her head, suddenly regretting her outburst. "No, really I…"

He pointed to the cauldron in front of him, "Now."

Sighing with resignation, she stepped forward—book in hand—taking her place by the cauldron. Looking out at the other students, who were staring at her, she muttered to herself, "I feel like Vanna White."

The professor took the book from her hands and flipped it open, handing it back to her, "You may begin, Miss Forthe."

She stared at the book, then at her cauldron, then at the ingredients she was to use. Finally, she put the book on the desk, taking something out of her pocket—glasses—and putting them on her face. There were a few giggles that came from across the room, but she silenced them with a glare. She could be scary too, even with glasses.

Cutting and grinding and measuring countless ingredients, she finally came up with a thick iron-coloured broth that smelled like old boots. The professor did not seem pleased. –_Cornflakes! I messed up!_—she thought.

Ladling some of the serous fluid from the cauldron, the teacher allowed three drops to fall onto a small piece of copper in his hand. The twisted metal suddenly seemed to melt, gathering into a little ball in the centre of his palm. As it solidified again, the professor held it up with his thumb and forefinger, a gold nugget.

"As you can see, Miss Forthe **seems** to know her potions." Giving her a warning glare, he said in a quieter voice, "You may return to your seat. Let's hope you do as well when nobody's watching." Maia gulped and removed her glasses, making for her desk. She was halfway there when she realized she'd forgotten her book and she had to return to retrieve it, hurrying for her desk as the students laughed at her.

It wasn't until she sat down again that she realized her knees were quivering, and it took several large breaths to return to normal. Cham had moved on from her ingredients and was sticking her head inside the cauldron to smell **it**. "Ooh, it's **dark** in here…Maia, I don't like the dark!" Withdrawing her head with a bang as it hit the side, she whimpered, rubbing her skull. Maia was still in shock, wondering why the hook-nosed teacher hated her so much.

By the end of class, however, she had returned to her normal self, and as they walked to their next class, she exclaimed loudly in Malfoy's ear, "Who does he think he is?"

"Er, that's Professor Snape. You know: our head of house?"

"That was a rhetorical…head of house?"

"Yeah, you know, sort of like boss teacher for us Slytherins."

"But I don't…he's **mean**…and he doesn't like me."

"Huh?" Cham had obviously not been listening.

Ignoring her, Malfoy replied, "Don't worry. Professor Snape likes any Slytherin better than the other students. He just hasn't gotten to know you yet."

"I don't want to get to know him," Maia said with a shudder. "How can **you** like him?"

Malfoy shrugged, "I should be asking you the same thing about that smelly oaf, Hagrid." Maia looked ready to punch him, but he held up his hands, "I was just kidding!"

"You had better be," she growled. Maia liked Hagrid.

X…X

It only took a few weeks for Maia to settle in, and she soon realized that Snape was not the worst of the teachers—not compared to Umbridge. Of course, Cham had earned the respect of half the entire body of Slytherin students, and they had both immediately made friends with Hagrid, which led to the events that occurred one chilly September evening.

Maia had stayed after class for a few moments to help Hagrid feed the hippogriffs, and he asked her if she and Cham would like to help exercise them.

"They have to be flown every week or so, to keep their wings in shape, but Umbridge has ordered that somebody has to be with them wherever they go. I understand if yer busy, but I though you might like to fly the hippogriffs sometime."

She shot him an incredulous stare, "Heck yes! When can we do it?" She almost fell off the fence she was sitting on, dropping a dead ferret that was immediately scooped up by a hungry hippogriff.

"Anytime yeh like. How's tonight?"

"Yes!"

"Alright, be here after dinner."

She was. Being too excited to really eat (Cham was never too excited to eat, however), she and Cham waited for Hagrid by the hippogriffs' pen after telling Malfoy why Cham wouldn't be able to help him with his Transfiguration homework. (Maia had also enlightened him to the fact that Cham was horrible at Transfiguration).

"I see yer just a mite excited," he laughed when he saw Cham's eager face.

"Just a little," Maia responded, wincing as Cham accidentally elbowed her in her excitement.

"Well, here, we'll start with Long John here." He enticed a whitish-grey speckled beast over with a dead ferret. "Alright, yeh've already met him, so a small bow should do…that's it."

Once on the hippogriff's back, Maia asked, "Where do you want me to go?"

"Oh, over the forest a ways, maybe around the grounds once or twice should do it."

Maia nodded and put her arms around Long John's neck as Hagrid slapped the creature's rump. Long John leapt into the air, rapidly beating his gigantic wings until they were high above even the tallest spire of the school. She guided him over the forest, letting him turn and hover over the lake for a while before taking him toward the school. Flying him around spires and towers, she led the nimble beast past several of the big windows, watching the shadows they cast on the ground with a laugh. Unfortunately, one of the professors noticed those exact same shadows.

The lake, on the other hand, intrigued Cham, after she saw Maia fly over it, so when she got on her hippogriff, Grundlebuns, she immediately flew in that direction. She came back all wet, explaining with a shivering stutter, "He t-t-threw m-me off." Hagrid couldn't help but chuckle, while Maia burst into a loud guffaw and a snort.

Their fun was interrupted, though, when Maia returned from flying the third hippogriff—a bay mare named Whirlyspatz. Professor Snape waited menacingly beside Cham and Hagrid. Maia nearly considered just not landing—she could fly away and hide until he left—but, oh, the trouble she'd be in when she got back.

"Forthe, get off that thing," he ordered coolly as she descended.

Hagrid attempted to protest, "Professor, Maia and Cham were only helping me exercise the hippogriffs. I have a letter of approval from Dumbledore—"

"To do this after dark? You know it is against the rules for students to be out at an hour like this."

"When else am I supposed to—" Maia began, sliding shamefully off Whirlyspatz.

"Shut up, Forthe," Snape snapped irritably. "I suggest you return to your dormitory and think about the detention you and Miss Charm have just received. And as for you, Hagrid, take care that no more of your students are found outside after sunset."

Maia sullenly trudged back inside to her dormitory, wondering why Snape hated her so much, Cham trotting obliviously behind her. In the common room, Malfoy approached, inviting them to sit with him and share a couple of Bertie Botts.

"Sorry, I can't. I have to go to my dormitory," Maia said with a sour glare at Snape, who had followed them and now stood warningly by the door.

"I told you that Hagrid was trouble, Forthe. Should've listened to me," he shrugged, "Of course, all of us are entitled to a few bad friends, aren't we?"

Maia set her jaw forward angrily, her face turning white. She spoke in a soft voice, "You know what I think, Malfoy?" Before he could answer, she punched him as hard as she could in the nose, "I think you should mind your own business!"

Cham gasped, "Maia! You're not supposed to punch people, remember? Your dad said—"

Maia grabbed her by the collar, growling in her face, "I don't care **what** he said. He's a muggle, remember?" Her voice was bitter as she pronounced the word 'muggle,' as if it were something foul and vicious. "And anyway," she added, "he's not my real dad."

Malfoy got up, whimpering as she stormed to her dormitory. He gave Snape a pleading glance, but the Professor just raised an eyebrow. "She's right, you know." He didn't seem to hate her so much after catching a glimpse of her when she was angry.

Detention was the next night, in the Potions classroom, cleaning up a mess left by some first-year students. Maia angrily scrubbed at the curdled mess, muttering curses under her breath. Cham hummed loudly, attempting to whistle "It's a Small World" every once in a while.

Snape watched with a pleased look, speaking when they finished cleaning, "Well, at least now you can say you've learned a valuable lesson."

"What are you saying?" Maia asked with a hint of steel in her voice.

"I'm saying that what little discipline that constitutes as 'rules' in your American school will **not** serve you here. You had better learn that quickly."

"Are you insulting my school?"

"As much as I hate to admit it, Forthe, **this** is now the school you attend. You can forget everything you have learned in any other school, as it is irrelevant here."

"I am just as smart as anybody else here, Professor! And the fact that I am American has nothing to do with it!" She raised her arm, wand in hand, but he caught her by the wrist.

"Careful, Forthe. You'd best learn some manners. You don't want to find yourself on my bad side."

"I thought I already was," she replied through gritted teeth.

"Perhaps. But you don't know that for sure, do you?" He released her arm, eyeing her coldly, "You're excused now."

Cham cheered, "Yes! No more cleaning, no more cleaning…" she dashed off, skipping and chanting in her annoying singsong voice.

Maia merely stalked away, cursing with unmasked rage.

Deciding that she needed a bit of air, Maia didn't follow Cham to the common room, but instead snuck outside, hoping that she wouldn't be seen. Sneaking into the hippogriff pen, she bowed to Long John, who bowed back and allowed her to mount him. Not knowing where to go, she muttered, "Take me somewhere quiet, if you would."

Long John shrieked and leapt into the air, soaring over the trees of the forest. Maia barely had time to cling to his neck. —_Well_—she thought as the castle behind her got smaller—_at least it's away from school_—She didn't notice that Long John had begun to descend.

She came out of her thoughts just long enough to see a branch in front of her before it knocked her off Long John's back and onto the ground below. Lying prostrate on the ground, she tried to get her wind back. Opening her eyes, she was surprised to be staring straight into a pair of piercing blue eyes. Startled, she shuffled backward quickly, emitting a strangled yelp.

"Are you alright? You were out for quite a few minutes." The man offered her a hand up. She took it, brushing herself off in what she hoped was a nonchalant way.

"Yeah, fine. I just…" She caught sight of the dark grey hippogriff that stood beside him, "Who are you?"

"Sirius Black," he stated, making a face.

She smiled, "I like that name."

He looked confused, "You don't know who I am?"

Maia replied curiously, "Should I?"

He shrugged, "No, I guess not." After a short pause during which he looked her up and down, he finally stated, "You don't sound like you're from around here."

Maia shook her head, "I'm not. I'm Maia Forthe, the exchange student."

"Oh, well that explains things." He was interrupted by Long John, who nudged his shoulder curiously. Sirius laughed and patted the hippogriff's beak, "Is this charming beast yours?"

"Yes. Well, no; I borrowed him from Hagrid."

"He certainly does like to loan out his hippogriffs. Oh!" He turned toward the dark hippogriff behind him, "I almost forgot to introduce Witherwings. I've grown quite attached to him, and sometimes I can't stay away."

"You live far from here?" Maia asked.

Sirius nodded, "Very."

"Oh. How do you get here so quickly?"

He shrugged, "It isn't a problem. I just apparate somewhere nearby and then walk the rest of the way. I usually get here by midnight if I leave at a reasonable time."

The conversation was suddenly cut short when Maia realized what time it must be. "I'm sorry. I have to go." She hurriedly scrambled onto Long John's back, waving to Sirius, who had been startled by her sudden departure. He managed to wave back and smile before Maia disappeared above the trees.

Once she had settled Long John back in the pen, she crept through the entrance to the school, staying in the shadows. Several times patrolling teachers passed her up, and once in the dungeons, she barely managed to hide in time when Snape strode past. She waited for him to turn the corner, but he stopped just in front of the statue Maia was behind. She groaned, absolutely sure he had found her. But it wasn't so.

"Professor!" A girl's voice could be heard softly, and Maia's eyes widened as a bushy-haired student rushed straight into Snape.

"You're late, Granger," he said in a stern tone even though it was obvious by the way he touched the girl's hair and took her hand in his that he really didn't mind.

Maia had to hold back a gagging noise so as not to be caught. The two seemed preoccupied enough at the moment, so Maia snuck from behind the statue and quickly slinked around the corner, running for the common room without looking back. Once inside, she leaned against the wall, gasping for breath.

"Yuck, yuck, yuck!"

Malfoy shot her a queer look. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Maia replied, certain he wouldn't believe her.

Malfoy shrugged and was about to speak when Snape entered. Maia's eyes became as wide as dinner plates and she let out a terrified squeak as she raced for her dormitory. The door slammed behind her.

"What happened in detention, Professor?" Malfoy asked with a dumbstruck look in Maia's direction.

Snape seemed just as confused, "I have no idea," he murmured.

Herbology was one of Cham's favourite classes, and it never proved to be anything but very interesting—especially that week. Professor Sprout was telling them the properties of dragonsbane, which they had been growing for the past few days. Maia shied away from the plant, her eyes watering and her nose itching. By now, she had figured out that staying away from the dragonsbane was the best way for her to avoid a trip to the hospital wing.

Cham, who hadn't noticed Maia's allergic reaction, asked her in a concerned voice, "Why are you crying, Maia?"

"I'm not crying! I'm just having a reaction to this stupid plant, Cham."

"Oh…are you allergenic?"

"No! I am **allergic**."

"Yeah, that's what I said!"

"Shut up."

"Fine." Cham shut up long enough for them to hear Professor Sprout say, "And dragonsbane, although toxic, when ingested in small amounts can assist a person with clearing their mind, as it slows the thought process down."

Cham had only heard the first part—"When ingested…" she repeated slowly, looking at the plant.

"Cham—Cham? Cham, what are you—Cham!" Maia exclaimed as Cham ate a sprig of the purple plant.

"Yuck!" Cham suddenly took on a knowledgeable expression, "I feel enlightened and esoterically inclined to say something intelligent."

Maia just stared at her, "Cham…"

That was the last thing Cham heard before she went into a coma.


	2. Amoris Nonfinis

"Oh boy! Potions class! We get to do…potions!" Cham seemed a little overexcited to be in class again after her weeklong sleep in the hospital wing. Her coma had worn off, and she had gotten away with merely a warning to stay away from dragonsbane. Madame Pomfrey, however, had also noticed Maia's symptoms and had pinned down the source of her allergic reactions. She had been amply treated with several doses of disgusting fluids while Madame Pomfrey alerted Dumbledore and every single one of Maia's teachers that she was by no means supposed to come in contact with dragonsbane in any form.

"Yeah, great." Maia replied to Cham, sarcasm dripping off each word, "We get to be yelled at by the school's strictest professor."

Once in the classroom, Maia and Cham sat at a back table. As they were watching students file in, somebody behind them cleared their throat loudly. Both girls whirled around, jumping five feet into the air in the process.

Snape towered over them, "Your seats," he pointed to the front of the room. "From now on you sit where I can watch you." He obviously remembered the last lesson when Cham had made her potion bubble over everything because she had added her own bogies to the potion instead of the troll mucus that had been provided.

"Darn it!" Cham whined.

Indeed, coming up to the front of the room, Maia found a piece of parchment with her name on it lying on the table. "A nametag?" She asked herself.

Cham peered over Maia's shoulder, not realizing that Maia hadn't been talking to her, "How…wait a second, Maia that's your paper from last week!"

Maia turned it over, "Right, it's my three word report on dragonsbane. I sneezed too much to finish it. Just thinking of the word makes my nose itch." She rubbed her nose with a sour expression, knowing that Snape had only assigned the report **after** he had been informed about Maia's allergy.

Cham picked up her paper, which was much longer, although it was more questions than answers. "What'd you get?"

"A 'T'. What about you?"

"Same."

"Well at least it's not like last week." Both still remembered when Maia had accidentally been given Hermione's paper instead of her own.

—"_What?! Professor, how did I get a 'T'?" Hermione's shriek could be heard throughout the dungeon._

_Maia, meanwhile, was wondering how her paper had magically gotten seventeen pages longer, and why she had received an 'O'. It read:_

Hermione Granger 

_O __ for such beautiful… handwriting. _

Maia hoped it was Hermione who had drawn the hearts, considering that she didn't like the alternative— Both girls were drawn to the present when Snape slapped the desk with his hands, "Perhaps you would like to explain why you are too important to **pay attention**?" 

"I'm not too important, sir, just too bored." The words slipped from Maia's mouth. Giggles accompanied her remark, but Snape's glare silenced every one of the students very quickly.

"As I was saying," he continued, pacing away from Maia and Cham's desk, still watching them both warily, "you will be preparing a rare potion that can restore health to those with allergies." At this, he avoided Maia's gaze. "The potion retains a specific taste and colour, which I will be looking for, so be prepared." He cast a wary eye toward Cham and Maia, "You may begin."

Maia started to gather ingredients as Chan read them off. Chopped wormwood, ground dragonsbane (there was much sneezing and cursing involved with this plant), a dash of chicken's tooth, and rosewood.

Maia suddenly felt an extremely sharp pain in her hands and saw dark, irregular red spots on her palms. She was bleeding! The dragonsbane had burned her skin where she touched it, and a searing pain attested to the fact that the poison was now spreading through her blood.

"Maia, what happened?" Cham noticed her bleeding skin.

"I don't know…hurry, do something; I don't want to go to the infirmary!" She whispered frantically.

Cham muttered something softly and tapped Maia's hands with her wand (it was truly amazing that she knew how to do this). The skin grew back, but Maia didn't take any chances and decided to switch jobs with Cham (who obviously didn't know what she was doing). Soon after, she started complaining that it was too complicated, "It's too hard! This is impossible…why doesn't he just have us make an _amoris nonfinis_ potion? That would be easier than this!"

The cauldron suddenly bubbled over, potion dribbling onto their papers and books and turning into a pinkish kind of froth. Cham's abnormal, unintentional gift of ironic conversion—which sometimes took what she said literally and changed reality to match it—had done its job.

"Oh no," she stared at the potion in horror, "Not again!"

"Great googly, Cham! What did you do?" Maia hissed.

"I don't—"

"Your time is up!" Snape suddenly announced to the class, leaving Maia and Cham barely enough time to clean up and none to fix their potion.

"Well," Maia whispered, glancing at another student's potion, "at least our potion is the same colour as hers."

"Yeah, I hope we did okay."

The professor seemed curious as to how they did; he checked the consistency of the liquid, the bright neon pink colour, and even smelled it before Cham suddenly dropped her wand into the potion. "Oops…"

"Charm, you—" Snape began as Cham yanked it out, flicking potion all over. A scalding drop landed on his hand and he instinctively drew it up to his mouth, "Ouch!"

Sudden realization dawned on Maia's face; she knew what kind of potion they had made—she knew it right when she saw the expression that dawned on Snape's face. "Don't look at me professor!" She screeched, fear striking her to the marrow. This statement, of course, caused Snape to glance at her. His black eyes widened, Cham clasped her hands to her mouth, and Maia looked ready to hurl.

"Why, Forthe," said the potions professor with an interested look on his face, "I never knew your hair was so—"

"Ugly! Stringy! Hideous! Dirty!" Maia intervened, trying to disrupt the fast-working potion. It was bad enough that Hermione had—well, it was enough to say that she didn't want to end up in that situation.

"Red. And your eyes—"

Maia's futile attempts reached a fevered pitch, and by this time, the whole class was watching the interaction unfold. "Dreary! Dull! Ugly!"

"…they're so grey." Having finished his pathetic attempts at poetry (which, Cham noticed, didn't even rhyme) he stepped forward towards Maia, who looked like she'd rather be in a dragon's toothy jaws at the moment.

"There goes our potential friendship with Hermione," muttered Cham as she glanced toward the girl. She looked as if she was the one in the dragon's mouth, her heart pierced by a fang.

"Sev—professor!" the distraught girl said, "What about me—I mean, my potion?" Even in her unhappiness, she was logical as ever.

He was caught off-guard for a few moments, and Maia took her opportunity to dash for the door. "Oops, sorry professor, wrong potion—I'll just be going now! Bye!"

"Forthe! Class is not over yet! Sit down!" His interested gaze had been broken, and he glared, angry as ever at her.

"Cornflakes!" she muttered, releasing the doorknob. She tried one more mode of escape, "May I be excused?"

"Sit!" He put emphasis on the 't' and pointed a long white finger at her chair.

"Yes sir," she stated dejectedly, obeying with a sense of defeat.

Snape leaned forward, his nose nearly touching hers, "Now, I'm going to check the other potions. You will both stay after class. Is that understood?"

Maia just nodded. She and Cham were both very confused; had their potion worked? Or did their professor just have a sick sense of humour? It didn't help that he tweaked her nose and smirked at her before he moved on.

She looked around the room in horror, seeing that people had most definitely noticed. Even Cham snickered a little; and she had been the one to get Maia into this mess! Maia shrank down in her chair and doodled on her paper until class was over.

"The potion definitely worked," grumbled Cham as students started to file out of the room. Snape had kept glancing in Maia's direction throughout the whole rest of the class period. Needless to say, neither of them had fixed the potion. Maia tried to sneak out as Cham was grumpily packing up, but the Potions professor saw her almost immediately.

"Get back here, Forthe," he said coolly.

Maia's eyes widened. She glanced at Snape then threw an apologetic look in Cham's direction and broke into a run born of desperation. She was **not** going to end up like Hermione.

"_**Forthe**!_" bellowed Snape. A glass bottle shattered from the mere force of his voice.

Cham found herself soaked in the dubious contents of that bottle. "This is disgusto! This should **not** be happening!" The hapless girl suddenly became dry again. She glanced warily at Snape, but luckily he was too preoccupied in his thoughts to notice her. She snuck out before he **did** notice, but she still didn't dare breathe until she was clear of the dungeons.

Passing by a suit of armour, she nearly had a heart attack when it lurched toward her. Cham whirled to face her attacker and exclaimed, "Now what?! That's impossible!"

The suit of armour stopped with a large clash, and the helmet rolled off to reveal Maia, looking ticked off.

"Curse you, Cham! This was my hiding spot!"

Cham gazed at Maia, who was swaying on her feet. She looked overwhelmed by the day's events. She didn't even bother to point out that if Maia had wanted to hide, she shouldn't have moved.

Maia glanced about her warily, "Is **he** around here?"

"No, he's still in his cold dark dungeon. Maia, I think he's a vampire."

"Well, while we have time, I'd like to go to the library and search for a cure," Shaking out of the rest of the armour, Maia grabbed Cham's wrist and dragged her along.

"Good idea, Maia! A cure for vampirism is just what this world needs!"

Maia groaned, but wisely made no comment.

They ran to the librarian, and asked if there were any books that might have the antidote to Cham's accident potion.

"I'm sorry girls, but there is no antidote. Didn't you know that? You'll have to wait until it wears off."

"When will that happen?" Maia asked hurriedly.

"It's been known to last for years," Madam Pince shrugged and walked away, shaking her head.

"Great, thanks Cham! Now our professor is going to think he loves me until the day he dies!" Maia started ranting. "Wait…dies…we can assassinate him and make everybody happy!"

Cham grabbed Maia by the arm, "Shut up Maia, there are a gazillion ways he could kill us, literally and metamorphically! And anyway, murder is **bad**."

"Not in this case," Maia grumbled, ignoring Cham's misuse of words. She tried to be firm, but her reason crumbled, and her eyes had a desperate look to them. "Okay, okay, fine. So how do **you** propose I do this?"

"That's the hard part. You should avoid the dungeons. And stay away from Snape; you don't know what he can do. He's very…unpredictable."

"You **think**?!?" Maia gave her friend a sarcastic glare.

"Alright Maia, let's not play the blame game," Maia raised an eyebrow sceptically, knowing full well it **was **Cham's fault, "We just need to come up with a logical solution…" she paused, suddenly staring at something over Maia's right shoulder, "Uh, Maia? You might want to turn around."

"Professor McGonagall! Um…how's Hagrid?" Maia asked in a desperately pleasant voice.

McGonagall ignored Maia's attempt at pleasantries. "Miss Forthe, I have received word that you disobeyed a professor's orders, as well as you, Miss Charm," she added as Cham tried to sneak off.

Maia didn't bother wondering how that news had travelled so fast; she merely tried to explain. "Um, no professor, it's not what it seems—"

"There was a potion problem—"

"And we—actually Cham—"

"It's not my fault!"

"Enough!" When silence had fallen, the professor spoke again, "You will both report to my office for detention tonight, is that clear?"

"Yes ma'am."

As the Transfiguration professor walked away, Cham muttered, "I'm glad we're not in Gryffindor."

"Oh, and having Cupid as my head of house is better?"

"At least we don't have detention with him."

Maia had to agree with that.


	3. Dragons

"Cham, you are the biggest jinx in the history of history!" Maia roared at her unfortunate companion.

All Professor McGonagall could do was watch her curiously until she had finished her rant.

"Great googly, Cham! You did it again! I don't know how or why, but if there is a merciful Supreme Being he will kill me now!" Maia stomped around the office.

Cham explained to McGonagall in a loud whisper, "Detention with Snape is the worst way to drive her insane. Well actually, the **worst**—" Maia clapped a hand over Cham's mouth.

"But why?" The professor asked Cham.

"Don't you dare say a word, Cham," Maia broke in. "Not a—"

She was interrupted when the door burst open and Hagrid exploded into the room, "Min-Gonagall," he checked himself, taking a few moments to breathe once he saw that there were students in the room. "Professor McGonagall," Hagrid continued in a calmer voice, "There's a problem on the grounds. I need your assistance."

McGonagall looked sternly at the two girls, "I trust you can find your way to the dungeons?"

Both girls nodded and the professors left abruptly.

"So, shall we go?" Cham asked Maia.

"No. We only said we **could** find our way to detention, not that we **would**," Maia grinned slyly.

"But how will we stay out of trouble?"

"We'll tell Snape that we—er—got sick, and we can tell everyone else how horrible detention was."

"That'll never work; we might as well turn your hair blue and your eyes blonde and hope nobody recognizes you."

Maia felt her head tingle briefly, but she couldn't look at her hair right away because a sudden stinging in her eyes made her close them quickly, blinking away tears. Finally, as the pain subsided, she nervously pulled a lock of her hair in front of her eyes, and Cham clapped a hand over her mouth in shock.

"I am so sorry—"

"**CHAM!**" Maia shrieked, her voice going up several octaves, "You turned my hair **blue**!"

"That's impossible, your hair can't possibly be blue."

For once, Cham's unique magic didn't work. If anything, Maia's hair turned even brighter, now an incandescent sort of blue. "Aaah! Cham!" She burst out of the door like an angry lion, spouting out expletives in her anger, "…and you know what?!?"

Cham tugged at Maia's sleeve, "Maia, be quiet!" She hissed.

"I'm not finished! You can all go to BEEP for what I care, you—oh sorry professor; I didn't mean to…" she went into shock just then and couldn't finish her sentence.

"I **love** it when you're angry," Snape's hands somehow found their way to Maia's waist, a catlike smile playing about his lips. He caught sight of Cham as she tried to sneak away and added, "How nice of you to join us, Miss Charm. We would have been so disappointed if you had decided not to come tonight. Please, lead the way." He indicated that she walk ahead of them.

"Foiled again!" Cham muttered.

He took Maia's hand in his and murmured quietly to her as they followed Cham, "Did you do something to your hair?" Before Maia could reply, he directed at Cham, "You're going the wrong way, Charm."

"I know; it was my evil plot."

He shook his head and muttered, "You know nothing of evil."

Maia remained silent until he had returned his attention to her, "I don't remember it being blue."

"It **wasn't**, professor, until a certain **idiot** decided that she should—"

"Shut up, Maia!" Cham called back.

"Me? **ME?!?** You're the dolt who turned my hair blue, you—" Maia was cut off in a very abrupt manner, most pleasing to a certain professor, and most revolting to her.

"I told you," he said a bit breathlessly, "I love it when you're angry."

This immediately shut Maia up, but she wondered when her sanity would fail her, when she would finally crack. "Professor, is the hallway really the best place to do this?"

He saw the logic in her statement, and kept some distance from her, at least until they reached the dungeons. Cham, still a little angry with Maia for being angry with her, held the door to the chamber open with a smug smile, "After you two lovebirds."

Maia glared at her friend, but she kept her mouth sealed. There would be no outbursts from her, not for a long time after what had just happened.

They were both put to work immediately, cleaning up a mess left behind by a beginning potions class—without magic. Shape showed a peculiar sense of self-control, just observing both girls (although it certainly wasn't Maia's face he was admiring) as they cleaned. But a few moments after Maia disappeared under the table to clean the floor, he finally said to her, "Forthe, come here. Charm, keep cleaning," he beckoned Maia nearer. Her knees shook as she stood and her stomach felt like it had just fallen on the floor.

He offered her a chair, sat beside her, and stared at an invisible object somewhere in front of him. Maia, on the other hand, stared down, watching his hand warily as he tapped the desk with his fingers.

Finally he spoke. "Forthe," he took her hand carefully in one of his, stroking each of her fingers with a long white index finger. It seemed to fascinate him, and it was a long time before he continued, "What do you want? Grades? Eternal beauty? Immortality? I can offer them all to you."

Maia gulped and stood up nervously, seeing exactly where things were headed, "Professor, I don't think I can do this."

He raised an eyebrow sceptically, standing as well and backing her into a corner. His demeanour had suddenly become a lot more threatening, and he didn't seem as gentle as before. "Really? There are **other** methods that I could use." He withdrew a small vial from his robes, "I'm sure you recognize this," he murmured acerbically.

She nodded, reaching for the pink potion, but he retracted his hand.

"They tell me it is unethical to use this on a student, but if it just happened to, shall we say—**slip**—into your drink, you would be quite certain to do anything I asked you to—for love's sake, of course—and no one would be the wiser." He leaned closer, "Now I'm offering you a choice, because either way I **will** have my way with you."

Maia lacked speech for a moment, several moments, actually, before she choked out, "You know, professor, I'm feeling a lot better. Why don't we—er—sit back down and discuss those…uh…exchanges you were talking about?"

Snape smiled slightly. The cards were on the table, and both players knew who had the winning hand.

Cham just happened to look up in time to see Snape running a finger over Maia's throat. The scary thing was that Maia seemed to be enjoying it! Maia was surprised as well—nobody was allowed to touch her neck—not even Sirius (whom she had started to visit in the forest and was taking a great liking to) was allowed to come so close to her.

Snape, meanwhile, was thinking about the same subject (Maia's throat, that is), and it wasn't just an obsession either. He wondered curiously about other strange symptoms he had noticed. She was allergic to dragonsbane, yes; she had taken to thinking a lot about raw meat; and she loved to play with fire. And, of course, he reminded himself with a slight smile, she had a peculiarly tender jaw—much like a dragon.

He remembered that there had been several sightings of a dragon (of the male gender) on or near the school's grounds, and he wondered if she had anything to do with it. His eyes narrowed briefly, but the moment passed, and he turned his attention fully to Maia. He leaned in and kissed her; she offered little resistance this time, but he wasn't doing it for the pleasure. She had abnormally large eye-teeth—well, maybe not for a dragon. He leaned back again, pondering the idea as he absentmindedly rubbed his thumb over Maia's knuckles.

When he finally started from his reverie, he saw Maia staring at him curiously. He dismissed the two girls with an absentminded sort of wave, and continued thinking about Maia's odd symptoms. Maybe she wasn't as normal as people liked to think. (Of course, we **all** knew Maia wasn't normal to begin with).

In the common room, the two girls found only a few people still awake, but Maia couldn't sleep, so she sat in a chair by the fireplace. Cham sat beside her, waiting for the right moment to mention Maia's little exchange with the professor.

They thought they had remained unnoticed for the most part, but Malfoy, as usual, found room to annoy them. He looked over Maia's shoulder as she doodled a dragon on a blank piece of paper and laughed.

"Ha! That must be the dragon they've spotted on the grounds. Well, just to let you know, my father's been ordered by the ministry to kill it." He added, "Rumour has it that it's your fault the dragon's here anyway. Professor Umbridge thinks you're an illegal animagus."

Maia protested, "I am not! I can't be an animagus without doing the spell. Idiot."

Malfoy just shrugged, "Yeah, that would be expecting a lot from a mudblood, wouldn't it?"

Maia leapt up and punched him in the face, "**Never** call me that again!" She spit at his feet, "I am **not** a mudblood!" She shouted, although she really didn't know if she was or wasn't, having been adopted as a small child.

She stormed for the exit, "Come on Cham; I'm gonna find that dragon."

Cham remained behind, "Um…I don't want to get into more trouble. Or mauled by a dragon…I'll just watch from the tower."

Maia shrugged angrily and left, headed for the forest. The halls were deserted, so she met no obstacles, and she ran across the grounds to the forest. She had to find the dragon, try to warn it somehow. Maybe it **was** her fault—how, she didn't know, but—"Great googly!" She fell backward, finding herself staring into two very large yellow eyes.

The dragon sniffed her for a few moments, as if it couldn't decide what she was, before snorting. It didn't attack her; rather, it seemed to take a liking to her, examining her curiously with an eye.

"What?" Maia finally asked, "You think I'm a dragon too?"

The beast paused before snorting again.

Her brow furrowed in confusion, "What? Are you trying to tell me something?"

The dragon seemed about to respond, but it leapt up in alarm, apparently hearing something. Someone must be coming. It spun around and made to leave. Maia decided that if it was smart enough to run from some person wandering in the forest, it was smart enough to run from a hunting party. Turning away, she smiled. At least luck hadn't completely abandoned her. Unfortunately, this thought came a little too early: she had forgotten something important. A searing pain made her stagger forward and fall on her knees—the dragon's tail, how could she forget? It must have accidentally struck her. A grey haze passed over her eyes like a veil and she struggled for breath before everything vanished from her mind.

X…X

Malfoy waited until the two girls were gone before running to his favourite professor. "Professor Snape!" He burst into the Potion professor's office, "Forthe and Charm just—I—Forthe's gone looking for the dragon in the forest!"

Snape cursed and stood quickly, "Idiot girl! If she dies I'll **kill** her!"

Malfoy frowned, "But if she's dead…" he tried to figure out the paradox, frying half his brain in the process.

"Never mind. Go get Dumbledore." He hurried outside, throwing on his cloak and pulling out his wand.

Trying to follow Maia's train of thought (it was very easy for someone so talented in legilimency to hear Maia's thoughts because she was very loud when she thought), he began to worry when he couldn't hear anything. It was a relief when he felt her presence of mind, but tracking deeper through her thoughts, he realized her mind was unnaturally blank—like Cham's—not a thought crossed it. Following his senses, he nearly stumbled over her when he reached her. Crouching down to see what was wrong, he recoiled when he saw the ugly laceration that ran over her back from her left shoulder to her right hip. From what he could tell (considering all the blood) it was a deep wound. It couldn't have been the dragon; the dragon's claws would have cut clean through her skin, but **this** wound was too ragged, too haphazard to have been cut by anything. It had—in actuality—probably been torn.

"Forthe, you numbskull," he cursed under his breath, hurriedly attempting to bind her wound.

X…X

Sirius, meanwhile, had been sniffing around the forest in dog form, when he caught Maia's scent. What was she doing out so late? He tracked her down, coming upon her in a small clearing. Something beside her—a man it seemed—suddenly stood, and Sirius immediately shrunk back into the trees, waiting to see who it was.

Snape had finished dressing Maia's wound (in a hurried, haphazard manner), and was picking her up to take her back to the school.

The hairs on the back of Sirius's neck stood on end and he growled, teeth bared. Changing into Sirius the human, he leapt out of the brush, brandishing his wand, "Put her down, Snape."

The other man sneered, "Finally brave enough to come out of your house? I'm surprised." He set Maia down carefully, his wand already out.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius edged toward Maia, but Snape warded him off.

"I feel obliged to ask you the same question," he replied silkily.

"Always so sharp, with the biting comebacks. Just get away from her, or I might have to hurt you."

"On the contrary; **I** would have to hurt **you**."

Sirius had had enough, not in the mood to bicker when Maia's life might be at stake. "_Rictusempra_!" He shouted.

Snape responded with a shielding spell. Sirius's curse ricocheted back in his direction, forcing him to leap out of the way.

Snape smiled slightly as Sirius stood and shook himself off.

"Now," the professor said lazily, calmly taking the offensive position, "I'll give you five seconds to run…One…"

Sirius stood still, his eyes wild as he glanced at Maia. Glaring back at Snape, he replied thinly, "I see you're feeling generous today. Last time we met you weren't so kind."

"Two…" Snape continued counting, merely twisting his mouth upward a little in response to Sirius.

Sirius had to think of something; obviously Snape was too prepared to be defeated easily, much less quietly, and with that new teacher from the ministry, Sirius didn't want to cause a stir and bring himself to attention. That would be exactly what Snape wanted.

"Three…"

He looked around in a panic_—tree…tree…tree—_

"Four…"

Bush, dirt, what else?! He suddenly had an epiphany.

"Five." Snape smiled sadistically, commenting in a caustic voice, "Amazing, the stupidity with which Forthe enjoys surrounding herself. Were I you, I would have run. But you're not the smartest one of the lot, are you?" He directed his wand at Sirius and added, "I dearly wish Forthe was awake to see this."

Sirius thought to himself—_oh, she'd be happy all right_—as Snape fired a spell at him. It hit the tree behind the place Sirius the human had stood, well above the place Sirius the dog now sat, grinning smugly.

Snape growled, firing several more spells at him, all of which the dog easily outmanoeuvred. Sirius panted, his pink tongue lolling out of his mouth. He suddenly turned and disappeared into the brush.

Snape stood there warily, wondering what Sirius was up to. Something didn't—

A wand pricked the back of his neck and a soft voice muttered, "I could kill you right now."

"Oh, please, don't. I'm terribly frightened," Snape said sarcastically. "Really, Black, I expected more from you."

A sudden force from Snape's wand knocked Sirius backward, as if he'd been punched in the gut, and his opponent approached with a triumphant look.

"You're getting on my nerves now. I don't think the ministry will mind if I kill you, do you?" He tapped a finger thoughtfully against his mouth, "Now how to do it?" He mused.

Sirius took advantage of his free moment, grabbing his wand (which had fallen from his hand) and raising it quickly. There was a blinding flash of light and Snape staggered backward, blood spattering his shirt.

"Argh!" He groaned. His hand immediately covered his face. Withdrawing it, he saw blood dripping from his fingers. He wiped the blood from the gash on his forehead and started for Sirius, who had stood up and was now looking for a means of getting to Maia.

Snape guarded her limp form like a hawk, blood dripping from his brow. They both raised their wands at the same time and released curses—the force of the other's curse knocked each of them over—and the forest was momentarily still.

Sirius was sore all over; he could barely bring himself to stand. When he did, he leaned against a tree and saw Draco Malfoy kneeling beside Snape's prone form. Dumbledore appeared right in front of him, "Dolores will be here," he warned, "leave now."

"No, I have to stay with Maia—" Sirius protested.

Dumbledore sighed and waved his wand at Sirius, who promptly became invisible. Malfoy hadn't noticed a thing.

"What happened to him, professor?" The boy asked, watching the unconscious professor.

"He was obviously fighting something. Perhaps it was the same beast that hurt Miss Forthe. It may have even been the dragon."

Sirius had to choke back a deriding snort.

"You think so?" Malfoy asked, his eyes wide.

"Of course. What other creature would be mad enough to attack a professor and his student?" Dumbledore emphasized the 'mad enough' part.

"I wasn't attacking **Maia,**" Sirius whispered indignantly to the professor. Dumbledore gave no sign that he heard.

"Oh, my word! Albus what is going on here?" Umbridge had appeared and she put a hand to her heart when she caught sight of Snape, "Oh poor Severus! He must have defended this girl so bravely!"

Sirius had to run into the forest and make a gagging noise. What cheese had **she** eaten to make her emit such obvious crap?

"Well let's not stand here. Quickly, get them inside." Umbridge waved them along, not noticing an invisible dog's footprints as he trotted along behind them.

X…X

Snape woke with a splitting headache. Looking around, he managed to sit up as he caught sight of Maia. It was dark in the infirmary, but her hair glowed in the moonlight that filtered in from the windows. His mouth broke into a small half-smile and he got up with some difficulty, sitting beside her.

Brushing the hair out of her face, he stroked her cheek gently, noticing at the same time that she had been cleaned up, her wound bandaged (it must have take a lot of bandages, considering that they covered her from her waist up over her chest), and her minor cuts healed. His hand subconsciously touched his forehead, feeling nothing but smooth skin—obviously Madame Pomfrey had healed his wound.

Maia stirred slightly, and he thought it best to leave her alone (not to mention the fact that one of the matrons shot him a warning glare as she passed by). Before he left her side, though, he bent down and kissed her gently, running his fingers through her soft blue hair. As he stood, he thought he heard a dog growl softly, but he shook it off as the imaginings of a tired mind.

X…X

Maia also woke with a headache, which wasn't helped by two very loud, arguing male voices.

"He isn't worth your time, Sirius, just ignore him!"

"But he makes me **so** angry, Remus! He **kissed** her!" Sirius emitted a deep-throated growl.

Maia sat up immediately, her head pounding, "Shut up! I'm trying to recover from shock here!"

Sirius—who was in disguise—and the man Maia figured must be Remus, glanced at each other sheepishly. Madame Pomfrey escorted them out, scolding them severely.

Maia was relieved to have peace and quiet again, but she wondered what Sirius and Remus had been talking about. She guessed wryly that it was Snape (since he seemed to be in the middle of everybody's problems lately).

At that moment, Cham burst in, worry creasing her face (or what could be seen of her face behind her scruffy hair). She ran toward Maia, ignoring Madame Pomfrey's protests.

"Maia!" She screeched, "You're alive!"

"Of course I am. It wasn't like I was eaten by a dragon." Pausing, she spoke quietly, "Well actually—" She glanced worriedly at Madame Pomfrey as she added, "I was whacked by its tail." She told Cham what she could remember.

"You haven't been hanging out with any dragons that would make it like you, have you?"

"No, unless **you're** one—or maybe Snape…"

"Sorry, **I'm** not. And though our loverly professor may have the temperament of a dragon, he's already a vampire."

"Who said?"

"Me."

Maia paused before laughing at the absurdity of Cham's comment. Cham, who had joined in the laughter—although she had been completely serious and didn't know why she was laughing—just happened to glance over at the next bed and she abruptly stopped with a hiccup, "Maia!" She said in an urgent whisper, "It's **him**!"

"He's everywhere!" Maia exclaimed in alarm.

"At least he's unconscious though."

That piece of information calmed Maia down, "What do you think happened to him?"

"Maybe one of his potions backfired. Some of the ingredients he has looked pretty dangerous."

"Be serious," Maia chided, though she giggled a little at the thought.

They were interrupted by Sirius, who had returned with a thoroughly chastised expression. "I—er—I'm sorry I disturbed your recovery…Maia…" he trailed off, looking at his feet.

Maia couldn't help but forgive him. Sirius was a good friend; he had only been trying to help.

He smiled when she forgave him, and turned to introduce his friend: the thin, scruffy haired man beside him. "Maia, this is Remus Lupin, a good friend of mine. He used to teach here. He came with me when I told him I needed to see you."

"Nice to meet you," Maia held out a hand, smiling tiredly at Remus.

Remus glanced at her bandaging, asking wryly, "I suppose you were trying to help that dragon last night?"

Maia looked down and nodded, "I couldn't just let him get killed."

"Well, then I should probably tell you that there are people out there already looking for it."

Madam Pomfrey suddenly bustled in and reprimanded him, "Will you stop disturbing her? She has serious—Miss Forthe, where are you going?"

Maia had taken her wand from the bedside table and was heading for the door. "That dragon isn't dangerous!"

Sirius and Remus glanced at each other, "I'll follow her," Remus offered, but Sirius shook his head and started after her.

She hurt, the gash in her back burning and her head pounding, but she would protect that dragon. If only she was an animagus like Malfoy had said. Shaking her head, she realized how silly that sounded.

She made it out to the forest, and saw the "hunting party," which she avoided. Bending down behind the brush of the outer woods, she tried to catch her breath. Her back hurt so badly she thought she would vomit, and her swimming senses didn't help.

"What's wrong?" Sirius crouched beside her.

"They'll kill the dragon, and if I'm correct, it'll be my entire fault."

"You lost me."

"Malfoy says I'm an animagus, and that everyone thinks I'm a dragon, but…don't you have to **know** you're one to **be** one?"

Sirius frowned thoughtfully, "Well actually…there is something else…something that happens when someone is born with animagus blood in their veins."

"But…" Maia realized that she could be of much more help if she could shapeshift. "Do you think I can do it?"

He shrugged, "I'm not sure."

"Can you help me?"

"Well, try to imagine yourself as an animal."

Maia squinted her eyes tightly and thought for a while, but she wasn't sure it was possible. "I can't do it!" She cried in frustration.

Sirius took her hands in his, "You **can**." He looked directly into her eyes and told her firmly, "Concentrate."

She tried again, concentrating like Sirius had told her. What was she? A dragon! She felt a sudden lurch in her stomach; either it was working or she was going to throw up.

"Maia!"

She opened her eyes and looked down at Sirius, "I'm big!"

"Of course!" He exclaimed, "**You** attracted the male dragon!" He broke off, hearing voices, and motioned Maia to hide in the forest, "Hurry, go into the forest and find your dragon friend. I'll stall them," he jerked his head in the direction of the voices.

"But—"

"I'll be fine!"

Maia needed no further bidding—she fled. It took a few adjustments to gain agility in her new body, and she nearly tripped four times before she found the real dragon.

—_You!_— The dragon stood and greeted her warmly —_You came back!_—

—_Listen, you have to leave_— Maia warned.

—_But I just found you.—_

—_You can't stay, there are wizards that want to kill you!— _

—_Come with me!— _

—_No.—_ Maia asserted.

—_But…they'll kill you…won't they?—_

Maia shook her head. _—Go!—_

The dragon took her order and manoeuvred so he could leap into the trees, using them as leverage to get into the sky. Maia tried to change back before the hunters came, but she couldn't concentrate!

"There it is!" A voice came from nearby.

She cringed as wizards suddenly surrounded her—CONCENTRATE!

As one raised his arm, she saw a flash of metal and a sharp object pierced her shoulder. Whirling around and pulling it out with her jaws, she realized that they were throwing harpoon-like objects at her—since magic couldn't affect dragons, they were attacking her with silver spears. A black dog suddenly leapt from the brush and attacked the man who had thrown his missile.

"Gah!" He tried to fight off the dog, and his colleagues rushed to help.

Maia had just barely managed the transformation as a tall, sneering man approached, looking around with disgust. His eyes suddenly riveted on her, "You there, where did the dragon go?"

"He flew away," she shrugged.

"No dragon could get through those trees!"

Maia realized this must be Malfoy's father. She saw the resemblance and an even more obvious common trait between the two: though they were both wizards, they seemed to have problems accepting the impossible. He came closer, ready to attack—"You must be that Proteus." He scoffed, "You don't look like much of a threat." He raised his wand, "but just in case…"

Maia threw her hand forward, pointing her wand at his forehead, "Expelliarmus!" The force of her spell threw him several feet backward, surprising even her. The dragon blood she now knew ran in her veins must have given her more power.

Standing quickly, he started for her again, this time very angry.

Maia held her wand steady, "Don't make me use this again!"

He stopped, eyeing her coldly, "You can't do anything to me."

"Try me," Maia, the very pissed off dragon-girl growled.

His eyes narrowed, but he backed away, finally turning and retreating. His last statement was, "Watch your back, Proteus. I'll be waiting."

Maia swayed on her feet, blood seeping from the wound on her back and the one on her shoulder and staining her clothes. She put a hand on Sirius' shoulder as he changed. Everything was swirling around her, and her breath came very rapidly. She fell to her knees and fainted for the second time. Sirius picked her up, carrying her to the edge of the forest, where Remus waited to take her back to Madame Pomfrey. The matron wouldn't be at all happy to see the other injury Maia had acquired.

X…X

"Are you sure that's right? I think you're administering it wrong," Maia heard Sirius's voice faintly, as if he were in another room.

"I believe I am perfectly capable of—"

A sharp pain jolted Maia's arm—a needle! "OW!" She sat up abruptly, "Freakin' eggs! Don't you know I HATE, LOATHE, and DESPISE needles?"

Sirius rushed to her side and put a hand over her mouth, "Shh, don't attract attention! It's over now."

She pouted, "I thought he was a wizard," she indicated Remus, who had administered the injection, "In which case he wouldn't have had to give me a shot. It hurt," she added sulkily.

Sirius spoke in an undertone, "Nothing else worked. Dragons are impervious to magic and as a half-blood, you are too when you've just shapeshifted."

"You mean to say that because I'm a—"

"Shh!" He clapped a hand over her mouth, "People will hear you!"

"Why is that bad?" She asked in a muffled voice.

"Because there are ways they can take advantage of you. It's best if you just stay quiet about it."

"But that's not—"

"I know, but shapeshifters haven't been getting a lot of good publicity lately." Sirius scowled as he remembered some of the articles he had read about himself lately.

Her eyes suddenly got huge, "But Malfoy's father knows! And I think Snape does too!"

"Shh!" He reminded her. "We can deal with that as it comes. For now just keep your mouth shut and everything will be fine."

"Won't people notice that magic doesn't work on me?"

"Well, it can still affect you. It all depends on the spell's power and how much time has passed since your last transformation. You should be back to normal by tomorrow."

Cham, who had been observing the proceedings quietly, added her two cents, "Well, if anybody does squeal, it definitely won't be Snape, will it."

"Shut up Cham!"


	4. Men

"This is the clavicle, **this** is the scapula!" Maia insisted.

"No, Forthe, you have it backwards. **That** is your scapula," Snape responded impatiently.

"Not true—" Maia protested loudly.

Class had been dismissed several minutes ago, and Cham had given up on Maia and already left, knowing full well exactly where Snape would make sure this argument led to.

"Forthe—you have it all wrong," he grabbed her by the collar, "follow me."

"I can't **not** follow you!" She retorted heatedly, trying to pull free of his vice-like grip.

"In." He opened a door and shoved her inside, closing and locking it behind him. "I'm going to give you a short anatomy lesson Forthe, so pay attention," he said, removing his cloak.

Approaching her, he turned her so her back was against him (quite firmly, in fact) and traced her shoulder blade with his finger. "This," he said in her ear, "is the scapula." Moving his hand over her shoulder, he traced her collar, "This is the collarbone, which is comprised of the two clavicles and the sternum," he tapped the middle of her chest, "which is here." His hands went over her sides as he explained, "And these are the ribs which protect the thoracic cavity…and here," his hands rested on her hips, "are the iliac crests of the pelvic bone." He glanced at her face—her eyes were closed tightly; she looked like she was wincing. He kissed her cheek and chuckled, "Relax, this lesson is far from over."

Still grimacing, she muttered, "That's what I'm afraid of."

Many bones, muscles, and organ systems later, Maia found herself curled up against Snape, who she had decided she **really** didn't like, and she vehemently wished she hadn't been so stubborn. Now she knew the location of several pieces of human anatomy, a piece of knowledge she didn't find very useful. In fact, it was sickening.

A knock at the door, very timely of course, made Maia jump and Snape fall off the bed.

"I'll get it," he grumbled, cursing under his breath, as he got dressed. Before answering, he pointed his wand at Maia, muttered something, and made her disappear. "What?" He asked in a flat tone, obviously annoyed.

"I hope this isn't a bad time?" Umbridge's voice came to Maia's ears.

"It is."

"Oh. Too bad." The pink-clad witch crowded her way inside, "I've come to have a little chat with you, Professor." She sat down, the chair creaking ominously beneath her.

As she settled herself in, Snape shot a warning glance in Maia's direction. Maia shrank down and tried to become more invisible under his withering glare. Silence. It was a good thing.

"Now you have probably heard that most of the professors have not been very helpful in my cause…" she coughed a tiny cough, "…and I wished to congratulate you for assisting me. Your veritaserum has been very useful to me in weeding out the traitors from those who still remain loyal to the ministry. That is why I wonder if I might have some more. One more bottle will surely—"

He went into a fit of coughing which, as it subsided, gave way to a scowl.

"Oh dear, Severus. Are you all right? I hope this isn't a recurring problem," she said as his 'coughing' subsided.

"Of course. In fact, you may have to give him mouth-to-mouth," Maia's disembodied voice sounded very cynical.

"Who's in here?" Umbridge stood, her wand out, whirling around in search of the source of the voice.

Snape cast a glare in the vicinity the voice had come from before answering in a flat voice, "Hmm? Is something wrong?"

"I heard a voice—didn't you—?"

He stood, "Professor, is this going to take long? I'm running short on time."

"I—I…you didn't hear it?"

"What?"

"That—oh, never mind. I'll come back later…after I see Madame Pomfrey," she murmured as an afterthought. As she left, Maia booted her out the door with her foot, chasing her down the hallway.

As the door reopened and invisible Maia entered, Snape bellowed, "Forthe! **What** do you **think** you were **doing**?"

She became visible again as she remarked, "Umbridge was coming on to you. I was just trying to help things along so you can get off **my** case. Didn't you notice?" She saw the nasty glare the potions professor gave her and added, "I guess not."

"That's disgusting, Forthe. Don't be ridiculous."

She shrugged, "Fine then." She started to dress. "I'll just be leaving then." She checked her pocket-watch, "What time is—cornflakes! I have to meet Sirius!" Racing out the door, she didn't stop running until she'd made it off Hogwarts grounds (luckily many students were going on a Hogsmeade trip and she could join them) and into the Three Broomsticks where Sirius had promised to meet her this weekend.

Inside, she caught sight of a patiently waiting Sirius. He stood when he saw her approach and offered her a chair and a drink (butterbeer of course). She smiled at him as he sat down again and apologized for being late. "I'm so sorry. One of the professors wanted to—er—talk to me about something."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Three guesses who."

She combed her fingers nervously through her hair and took a drink. It immediately warmed her and she asked quietly, "How are you?"

"Rather well." He gave her a concerned glance, seeing that her flushed look had not vanished. "Is everything alright? Snape hasn't given you any trouble, has he?"

She laughed in a strained tone, "No—what makes you think it's him?"

"He was a little too protective of you that night you met the dragon," he didn't even mention the kiss, "are you sure—"

"Yes! I mean—yes. I'm fine."

"Hmph." He stood, "Would you like to join me for a walk?"

"Alright," she acceded.

Once outside, she pulled her cloak around her and asked, "Where are we going?"

"Oh, you'll see," he smiled secretively.

Maia walked beside him for a ways, but her back hurt in the cold, and she slowly began to trail behind Sirius, despite the fact that he slowed down to accommodate her. Finally, after an indeterminable time of walking through the tall pines, Maia recognized where they were.

"Hippogriffs?" She asked incredulously.

"I thought we'd go riding. Come on, get on." Sirius was already on one of the hippogriff's backs, and Maia followed closely. She was glad for the opportunity to relieve her stress, and flying definitely helped.

X…X

"Ooh, ooh, you've been off school grounds without permission! That's going to get you into trouble—yes, lots of trouble!"

Maia scowled, "Well if you want me to get into trouble, you had better turn me in instead of clowning around like that."

Filch immediately took on a professional air, "Of course, I'll take you to your head of house."

Maia shuddered, **Umbridge** would be better than Snape; at least she wouldn't question who she had been with.

"Well?" Snape asked calmly when Filch shoved Maia into his office. His back was turned, and Maia wondered if he was hiding an angry expression. "Where have you been?"

Maia remained silent.

When he turned to face her, she realized she was right; he was **very** angry. His black eyes flashed dangerously; Maia wouldn't have been surprised if **he** had turned into a dragon—he looked angry enough.

"You can go, Filch," he directed at the squib.

"But I—"

"**Go**!"

Maia wished she could have left as fast as Filch did.

The silence was very uncomfortable as Snape approached Maia, coming very close to her and staring right into her eyes. It seemed as if he was trying to see through her pupils and into her mind, and it almost felt like he was sifting through all of her thoughts. His eyes suddenly narrowed and he pulled a small pine needle from her hair, "What is this?" He asked in a dangerously quiet voice.

"A needle, from a white pine I believe, of the genus—"

"I don't care what it is!"

"Then why did you—"

"Where were you?!" He took her by the collar of her robes.

"I plead the Fifth!"

"We don't use **your** Bill of Rights; this is **England**!"

"Oh…" She said in a very small voice.

"Now tell me where you were or I'll shove you into a matchbox and mail you to Antarctica!"

"You wouldn't!"

"No, I'd do something **worse**."

"Sirius would kill you!" She suddenly clapped a hand over her mouth, "I didn't…cornflakes…"

He looked her over calculatingly, nodding as if he suddenly understood something. "Black…if only I could—" he clenched his hands tightly, Maia losing even more of her breathing room.

"Don't even think about hurting him! At least he's not a coward!"

He immediately glared at her, "What did you call me?"

"A coward! A chicken! A yellow-bellied son of a one-eyed prairie dog! Whatever you want to call it!"

He backed her into the wall, his wand pressing uncomfortably against her throat, "Don't call me a **coward**!"

Taking his free hand, he pulled a small vial from his cloak and poured its contents down her throat. She worried that it was the pink potion, but it wasn't. Choking and spluttering, Maia fell to her knees, the world spinning as she tried to find something to hold on to.

He dragged her to her feet and shoved her into a chair. Putting his face very close to hers, he asked in a dangerous voice, "Where were you?"

She immediately opened her mouth unwillingly and answered, "In the forest, with Sirius Black."

"Do you love him?" He didn't want to ask, but the words just slipped out.

"He's just a friend," Maia answered without hesitation.

He knew the potion didn't lie, but a nagging doubt still pecked at him, making him wonder if he had used enough. Maybe one more bottle—"Go," he said hoarsely, "Get out!"

Maia stumbled from the room, happy to be away, but worried for Sirius. She decided she'd better find him, but wasn't too keen on getting in trouble again. Cham might be able to help her, although Maia didn't have the most confidence in her friend's skill at helping people. —_Well_— Maia thought with a sigh, —_I might as well try_.—

She looked for Cham in every possible place, but didn't find her for quite a long time. Finally she just happened to see Cham in the dungeons, being preyed on by a very irate professor.

"Where is she?" Maia ducked around the corner, listening fearfully as Snape interrogated her friend. She didn't want Cham to get in trouble, but on the other hand, neither did she.

"I don't know; I haven't seen her!"

"You're her friend—you ought to know these things!"

"Well maybe you should find her yourself! It's not like you don't discuss deep philosophical matters every stinky night!"

"I—what? Is **that** what Forthe told you?"

"No…I just guessed."

Maia decided it was time to save her friend before Cham made too much of a fool out of herself.

"I'm right here, Professor."

He immediately forgot about Cham and came toward Maia, "Come with me, Forthe." He offered her a hand; his voice was soft, but his eyes were not.

She backed away, shaking her head.

"Come **here** Forthe!"

"No!" She thought she would be safe as she dashed off—how fast could he run?

"Forthe!" he cursed and removed his outer robes, following Maia quickly (and looking very strange without the billowing black robes).

Cham just glanced down, picking up his robes and staring at them thoughtfully, "Hmm…" She mused.

Maia had disappeared around the corner and was flying up the stairs as Snape came racing after her. She was younger and smaller, but his legs were longer and he seemed to be the faster of the two. He pulled out his wand, attempting to cut her flight short, "_Locomortem_!"

The spell bounced off her head harmlessly.

"You've transfigured recently haven't you!" He shouted accusingly at her back.

"Perhaps!" She called back breathlessly.

Finally, somewhere near the centre of Hogwarts, Snape lunged and tackled Maia, rolling on top of her and holding her down quite effectively. He leaned in and brushed her hair out of her face, taking what he thought rightfully his: a kiss. Both were out of breath, but once he had regained his composure, he murmured sarcastically, "Well that was fun."

Maia looked up at his face and, for some strange reason, perhaps because of the absurdity of her situation, she started laughing. She rested her head back on the cold stone floor, her shoulders trembling as she laughed. He touched her cheek with a hand, bringing her head up to kiss her again. He was feeling better already. That is, if Umbridge—

A sickeningly sweet voice reached their ears, "So, Severus, this is how you repay yourself for saving this poor defenceless girl's life."

They both scrambled to their feet, trying to explain the situation.

Umbridge saw Snape slide an arm protectively around Maia's waist, a little too close for comfort, and dragged Maia away, holding her tightly to her ample bosom, and in a death grip too. "Now dear, he hasn't hurt you at all, has he?"

Maia scooted away from her, "I'm—I'm fine professor…I just—er—Professor Snape saw me fall and wanted to make sure I was alright."

Umbridge looked suspiciously at the both of them, obviously not believing a word. She glared at Snape, a hint of—could it be jealousy?—evident in her voice. "Now Severus, we do not take advantage of the lower level students—"

"What?" Maia interrupted.

Umbridge ignored her, "Just because they aren't as smart as the others."

"Excuse me!"

Snape just crossed his arms over his chest, "Professor, you completely misinterpreted what you saw. This is one of my most advanced students, and I didn't want to see her hurt. She has already missed enough class time." His mind was drawn back to the scene in the forest.

Maia nodded eagerly; rumours spread quickly, and she didn't want this to be one of them. Meanwhile, in her head, she thought loudly so Snape could hear, —_She's jealous! I told you_—

Snape thought back just as loudly —_Quiet, Forthe, she might hear you_—

Maia saw Umbridge give her a nasty glance, oh how she hated that woman. She wanted to shock her—wipe that toady smile off her face. –_Hmm, what if…_— Maia grinned evilly. Turning to Snape, she touched his cheek, stood on her toes, and pulled his head toward her, kissing him soundly. Her arms entwined tightly around his neck and, though he struggled at first, he saw the futility and decided to at least enjoy it, putting his arms around her waist. It was probably the last day he'd be in this school anyway—thanks to Maia—but if he had to go this was his preferred method.

Umbridge's toady eyes popped out even further than normal, and Maia smiled with satisfaction as she pulled away from Snape.

"Now Professor, I told you, it's impossible to keep this a secret." She scolded him, but her eyes glowed with mischief. Turning to Umbridge she murmured, "I'm sorry you had to see that, Professor," she grinned and pointed her wand at Umbridge's face, "Goodnight!"

The professor fainted, needing no spell, falling on the ground like a limp doll.

"Well," Maia dusted her hands off, "That takes care of **her**. I'd be surprised if she remembers anything when she wakes up. Now, if you'll excuse me, Professor, I have to be going. I have runes homework I want to procrastinate on."

He watched in admiration as she walked away (well, honestly it was more like a saunter), whistling happily to herself. Perhaps she wasn't as lacking in common sense as she portrayed herself to be. He glanced at the fallen woman and resolved to remember Maia's performance. When he returned to the dungeons it was with a calm, composed attitude and a small smile that did little justice to the events that had just occurred.


	5. Double Detention

A sinister figure stood towering over a group of students in the Slytherin common room.

"To start off class," said a squeakily disguised voice that came from under Snape's cloak, "I would **love** to take fifty points from Gryffindor."

The group of Slytherins laughed and applauded.

"Silence!" bellowed 'Snape.' "Did I say you could make that detestable noise in **my** classroom?"

"No, sir," chorused the students.

"I thought so. Now, start on the fourteen scroll, single-spaced, tiny writing essay I want on magical sea star muck. It is a subject we have not discussed yet, so you will have to do hours of research on it in the library. I know for a fact that there is only one book on magical sea star muck, so I will enjoy watching you fight over it with tooth and wand."

A Slytherin burst into uncontrollable giggles. Cham/Snape whirled on him, "That's five extra pages for **you**, Mr. Potter. And since I know Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger are your friends, they get that amount added also."

Draco tossed a folded up piece of paper at Cham. She swept aside Snape's robes and picked it up. When she saw the photo of Umbridge (with a Hitler moustache drawn on it with permanent ink) she clutched it to her chest.

"Oh Dolores, you beautiful woman!" Cham/Snape gasped, "How I long to return your continuous affections, which gross out my students!"

By now Slytherins were rolling on the floor with laughter, clutching their aching sides.

"Fifty points from Hufflepuff!" Snapped Cham at a Slytherin that had accidentally rolled onto her foot. "And fifty from Ravenclaw, just for good measure."

"Does Slytherin get any points?" Called Draco over the noise.

"Of course! Fifty—no—sixty, for being the good, quiet, evil students they are. Remember to use that fast spell I told you about on your broomsticks for the next quidditch match."

The Slytherins had stopped laughing and were staring nervously behind Cham. She didn't notice.

"And as the best, most prestigious—" (Cham pronounced it 'press-tee-gus') "—most hated teacher in all of Hogsnots—sorry, _Hogwarts_—I demand that you all attack Bumbledore with tickle spells until he gives me the Defence Against the Dark Arts job."

"Ahem!" Somebody cleared their throat.

Cham whirled around to come face to face with the **real** Snape. She gazed up at his angry expression. "Er—you…ah…your robes…they're very…comfortable…Professor."

He glared at her and grabbed her by the collar of his robes, shaking her roughly out of them. "I do **not** look like that!" He snapped.

"Well actually, Professor, the way she walked was **quite** similar," commented one student. Faint giggles were heard.

"Silence!" Snape shouted at the culprits, "Did I say you could make that detestable noise in **my** common room?"

The Slytherins just exchanged glances.

Maia, who had taken a detour to the library, walked into the room at that moment with a thick book tucked under her arm. She still had her reading glasses on, and so it took her a moment to see what was going on. Removing her spectacles and stashing them in a pocket, she noticed a crumpled paper on the floor. Picking it up, she saw Umbridge's photo and gave a snorting sort of laugh. Several students, not to mention Snape, were all surprised at Maia's strange laugh. Snape raised an eyebrow and looked at Cham, who shrugged.

"I didn't teach her to laugh like that. She just does."

He brushed the matter aside, still in a foul mood. He glowered at Maia, snatching the paper from her, "Whose is this?"

"Charm's!" A nosy first-year pointed at Cham, who was trying to (unsuccessfully) disappear into the crowd.

"Detention, Charm." He glanced at the picture, "although this displays a fair amount of creativity."

Maia laughed again and he winced, "Good thing Umbridge isn't here right now, or you'd be fired…we'd** all** be fired…wait—I don't work here."

"The term is 'expelled,' Forthe."

"That's what I meant," she responded defensively.

He shook his head, shrugging on his robe and clasping his cloak over his shoulders. Shuddering, he let the picture drop to the floor, "I don't like that woman…if **that's** what she is."

Maia raised an eyebrow, "Who does?"

Cham piped up, "Are you sure you don't like her, Professor? Not even a teensy little bit?"

"Eew!" Maia exclaimed, unable to form that picture in her mind. "Gag! That's worse than him and Hermione!"

"No!" Snape spat at Cham, ignoring Maia, "That's revolting."

Maia crossed her arms over her chest, nodding, "Yeah," but she too lost her smug look as she turned around.

"But, Professor—"

"I told you Charm, the very idea is almost as revolting as the woman herself!"

"Um—" Maia tugged at his sleeve, "Professor, I don't think—"

He whirled to face Maia and caught sight of the very irate professor standing beside her. "Oh…" his voice was extremely soft.

"Severus," Umbridge's voice was sweet, which was not a good thing, "If you wouldn't mind coming with me." She smiled at Maia, who shrank back, "As for you, Miss Forthe, detention tomorrow night—please be in my office at seven."

Maia cringed as Umbridge led a certain dejected Potions master out of the room.

"Now Severus, concerning that girl…" her voice trailed off as the door closed behind them.

Cham approached Maia, "I don't know who's worse off: you or Snape."

Maia shrugged, "We won't find out till tomorrow, will we." She trudged to her favourite chair, flopping down in it and opening her book.

Her homework, being extremely long, fell from her lap later that night when the fire had died down and everybody had left for bed, including Cham. Maia herself was dozing off by the time Snape returned, his face white and his robes displaced. He saw Maia and immediately made for her with a sigh of relief, placing her homework on a table. He gently lifted her from her chair and sat down in her place, cradling her in his lap. His hand trembled as he touched it to her face and caressed her cheek.

She moaned and blinked sleepily, "Five more minutes…" A moment passed before her mind suddenly processed what she had seen in her brief glimpse, and she started awake, "Professor!"

"Shh," he placed a hand over her mouth, "She'll **hear** you." His face was wracked with worry and his voice a fervent whisper.

Maia looked around, "She's not here," she said through his hand.

"She has a way of knowing things," he moved his hand and started to absently stroke her hair.

"So? She saw us before."

"She won't let us see each other if **she** sees **us** again!"

"What did she say to you anyway?" Maia asked curiously, having never seen him so jumpy.

"Let's just say it wasn't so much **said** as **did**." He shuddered again.

"Oh…" Maia thought about what that implied and shivered. Contemplating something, she finally spoke, "So now you know how I feel."

"Surely you can at least **stand** me."

Maia shrugged, thinking again…"I guess you aren't so bad…at least you're not fat and grossly toad-like."

"Don't tell **any**body, do you understand? I'm going to have to borrow Dumbledore's pensieve again."

"Pensieve?"

"Never mind."

Cham suddenly walked sleepily into the room, "Do you mind keeping it down out here? Sane people are trying to sleep."

"So what are **you** doing? You can't possibly be trying to sleep," Maia responded from over Snape's shoulder.

"Yes I—hey! I am **too** sane…sheesh, just because I'm not as smart as you…"

"I can see we should take things elsewhere," Snape said, shifting Maia off and standing, "Before Charm haemorrhages her brain."

"You know, you're not very nice," Cham called after him.

"Good," he replied without even turning around.

X…X

Maia cursed Cham for being so stupid (just because she was in a foul mood) and for getting detention with Snape, which was a lot better than with Umbridge, who hated Maia's entire being with a vigour.

"Well, at least…um…it'll be over by tomorrow," Cham offered condolences.

Maia just glared at her friend. After dinner, she reported sullenly to Umbridge's office, leaving Cham to go alone into the dungeons.

"Well, Miss Forthe, so nice of you to join me…" she indicated that Maia should take a seat at one of the desks. "Now—to begin—"

"Maia! Great news! Snape sent me here…to…um…Professor Snape told me to apologize for him having to send me here. He had other business to attend to," she explained to Umbridge.

Umbridge didn't know the extent of chaos the two could concoct yet, so she just sighed, "Very well Miss Charm; please sit down."

She handed them each a stack of parchment and a quill. "Now, to get started: Miss Charm, I want five hundred lines saying: I will try to act intelligently. And as for you, Miss Forthe," Maia cringed under Umbridge's glare, "You will write me seven hundred and fifty lines: I will do what my professors tell me to do."

Umbridge smiled sweetly and left. Maia didn't know why she was writing what she was, but she did it with a groan and a lot of grumbling. Cham, meanwhile, was humming as she putted along, scratching: I will try to act in—"Maia, how do you spell 'intelligently?'" She asked in a loud whisper.

Maia just reached over, not even looking at Cham, and scribbled, 'intelleegentlie' on her paper.

"Oh, thank you!"

Maia continued to write furiously. It took a few more lines to realize that the stinging in her hand was not that of writer's cramp or the product of writing too fast. She looked at her hand and shrieked, "Ow!"

Umbridge came back into the room and walked by them, "Keep writing," She stated sorrowfully, as if she really felt bad about what was happening.

Cham had kept dutifully writing "I will try to act intelleegentlie." Apparently she was too stupid to realize that her hand hurt more every time she wrote another word. She glanced at her hand and suddenly exclaimed, "Maia! There's an evil ghost in here! He keeps writing on my hand! I wonder what he's saying…hey! **That's** not how you spell 'intelligently!'"

"There are two flaws in you logic Cham. The 'ghost' is a she. For another—she isn't dead yet."

"Well I'm still—wait, you can see her?"

"Of course, you dolt. It's Umbridge! She gave us cursed quills!"

"Oh…" There was a long silence, filled only with the sound of scratching quills and soft exclamations of pain.

Cham finished earlier than Maia, but she didn't want to leave, so she offered to 'clean' Umbridge's chalkboard.

"Of course you may, Miss Charm. Here, just let me wrap your hand in this…good!" She turned to Maia, who glanced up with hate scrawled all over her face, "This is what a model student is like, Miss Forthe. Try to be more like her."

Maia snorted, "I'm stupid enough without trying to act like a monkey."

"Ten points from Slytherin for being facetious."

"Are you insane?"

"Oh, and another fifty points lost for questioning my authority."

Maia could not control herself any longer. She lost her temper.

X…X

Maia stormed into the common room (Cham trotting behind her) and shoved anyone who crossed her path out of the way. Pointing her wand at a student who happened to be sitting in her chair, she levitated him off and dumped the surprised first-year ungraciously on the floor.

Flopping down, she didn't even look up when Snape approached, "I'm afraid I'll have to dock you points for that," he said in a soft voice.

"Don't bother," she snarled, "Umbridge took enough points away already. And it was for stupid things too, like **being** stupid, looking funny, and—Professor, I don't really look funny, do I?"

"How many points did you lose?" He asked with concern, ignoring the last part.

"You don't want to know. It will only make you mad, and I don't like it when you're mad…especially not at me."

He looked at Cham with a stern expression, "How many?"

"Hundred and seventy-five," she quickly replied.

"You were only gone for an hour!" He exclaimed, "She must have—Forthe, what happened to your hand?"

She hid it behind her back, embarrassed, "Nothing."

He held out his hand, "Show me."

She reluctantly put her hand in his. After he removed the five-second bandaging job she'd done, he stared at her hand, his expression getting darker. "This isn't—" he touched the tender surface gingerly, making Maia pull her hand back.

"Don't touch it!" she shouted, holding her hand defensively far from him.

"I didn't!"

"Yes you did!" she cradled her hand against her chest, "It hurt," she whined.

"I know. Let me see it and maybe I can fix it."

She proffered her hand again (hesitantly) and winced when he took it gently in his.

"Ow!" She complained.

"Quiet. I haven't done anything yet."

"Ow! You touched it again!" Once more, she pulled it away.

"Stop fidgeting Forthe, and let me see your hand!" He seemed completely fed up.

"Fine," she grumbled, cringing and bracing herself for the pain.

He tapped it with his wand—eliciting the loudest cry from her yet.

"OW!"

"Hush. It's over now." He forced her hand in front of her face and she saw that it had healed.

"The scars won't go away," he explained, "but at least it won't hurt anymore."  
Maia glared at him, "Yeah, cause you killed all the nerve endings. I can't feel my hand," she muttered darkly.

"That is an after-effect of the spell." He sighed wondering if Cham was a bad influence on Maia.

Speaking of Cham, she had watched in awe as he healed Maia's hand and she shouted, right in his ear, "Me too, me too!"

"Silence Charm! You don't need to shout!" He glanced at her hand, "Go to Madame Pomfrey. She can take care of this trivial wound."

Cham just looked dejectedly at him and walked away, muttering, "Sheesh. He can fix Maia but not me…only special **smart** people get help."

"That's right, Charm," said Snape, "You keep that in mind when you make your next decision."

Cham leaned over to Maia, "Your boyfriend is confusing," she said in a loud whisper.

"He isn't my boyfriend!" Maia hissed back.

Cham looked from Snape to Maia and back again. Then she suddenly grinned, "You can't hide stuff from me, Maia. I'm your **best friend**." She walked off with a swagger.

"How did you become friends with…**that**…anyway?" He indicated Cham.

Maia watched her friend with a mixture of fondness and disgust, "It's a long story. But Cham can be smart…in her own stupid way."

A long silence ensued before Maia suddenly asked (a little randomly), "Did you know that we had a president once who was so fat he got stuck in the White House bathtub?" She paused before adding thoughtfully, "I wonder if that's ever happened to Umbridge."

Snape shook his head, "That was an image I did **not **need to see."


	6. Curses

Maia was studying in the library with Cham…so it couldn't really be called studying. At the moment, Cham was scribbling on Maia's homework as Maia tore Cham's into pieces and made a mosaic dragon out of it. They were both giggling loudly, despite the fact that Madame Pince had told them to be quiet several times already.

It was beginning to get dark outside, and the lamps had been lighted. Maia reached over to a candle and stuck her finger in the flame. Pulling it out, she blew gently on her finger and a tiny flame sprouted up.

"You pyro," Cham muttered as Maia started burning little pieces of her torn-up homework.

"I am not a pyro. I just happen to like fire."

"Same thing," Cham replied.

"That's an interesting trick you've learned, Forthe," Snape put his hands on Maia's shoulders, squeezing them gently.

She jumped, the flame flying from her finger and landing on Cham's Arithmancy book. She watched as it engulfed the cover.

"Aren't you going to put it out?" Snape asked Cham.

"No…I don't like Arithmancy anyway."

He sighed and put it out with a flick of his wand. Tilting Maia's chin back, he kissed her and murmured, "Come with me, Forthe."

"But—" she cut herself off, abruptly standing. With a confused look, she said, "Okay…whatever you say, Professor. Cham," she said as she took Snape's hand, "will you take my stuff back to the dormitory?"

"I guess. Have fun with your boyfriend."

"Oh shut up. Go do something intelligent."

Maia followed Snape, wondering why she had magically become so willing to obey him. Cham, on the other hand, glared at the door Maia had disappeared through. When it didn't respond, she transferred her glare to her ruined Arithmancy book. It sizzled at her.

"Miss Charm! It's good to see you studying!" Cham looked up into her Arithmancy teacher's beaming face. She quickly shoved her Arithmancy book out of sight, "Not really, Professor. I'm just moping."

The teacher looked disappointed, "Well, get to it then," he told Cham, walking away.

Cham breathed a sigh of relief. She picked up her things (and Maia's), hurrying from the library and to the dormitory. She wandered around randomly until she bumped into Malfoy near the Great Hall.

"Hey Charm."

"Hey…hay!" Cham suddenly broke into song, "Hay is for horses, not for cows, pigs would eat it but they don't know how!" She grinned.

Malfoy stared at her, "Pigs don't know how to eat hay?"

"Yes they do! But 'how' rhymes with 'cows.'"

"No it doesn't. 'Cows' has an 's' in it and 'how' doesn't."

Cham kicked his shin in frustration, "So? I didn't make up the stupid song!"

He decided to change the subject, "How are you?"

Cham fumed, "There you go with that 'how' thing again. I hate that word now!" She paused, "I'm fine by the way, but Maia's being a butt."

"How—I mean, why so?"

"She was…being nice to Snape! And he…" she trailed off.

He nodded, "Yeah, I heard about that."

"You did?"

"Nothing's secret at Hogwarts."

Cham's eyes widened, "Really? Cool! Then everyone knows about Maia and Snape's deep philosophical conversations at night."

"Cham, you're weird. You know that, right?"

"I don't know anything," she responded dejectedly.

He laughed, "You got that right!" Seeing her glare at him, he hurriedly said, "I didn't mean that." When he saw that she didn't believe him, he muttered something about it being reflex.

"Good," Cham gave him one more glare and stalked off. She wandered around, bored. Eventually she found herself outside, staring at the lake. For once, she was feeling slightly depressed.

"Maia hates me," she whined, "Draco hates me," she paused, thinking more. "Snape hates me!" She thought about this last statement for a minute, then said, "But that's a given. Snape hates **everybody**." She looked sourly at the lake, "Except Maia." An idea suddenly started to form in her small mind.

Cham ran to the library and checked out a book she had seen earlier. Then she rushed to the dormitory, grabbing some of Maia's clothes. She leapt behind her curtains and flipped the book open. When she came out, she was in Maia's robes, and she had used spells to make her hair longer, more wavy, and blue. (The blue spell hadn't exactly worked; her hair was still half black, giving it a slight purplish tinge).

Stooping down to make herself about an inch shorter, she admired herself in the mirror, "There! Now I'm Maia! Snape won't hate me because he likes Maia, Draco won't hate me because he's mad at me, not Maia, and Maia won't hate me because she can't hate herself!"

X…X

Meanwhile, the **real** Maia had been backed into a corner, her hair dishevelled and her clothes…well, they weren't exactly in the proper places. Snape's hands were on her hips and the moment, and his lips were somewhere on her neck, below her ear. Maia was still in defensive mode, so she was extremely tense, and there was an immediate change when Snape murmured, "Relax Forthe; enjoy this."

Her eyes went blank momentarily, but she shook her head and suddenly smiled, putting her arms around his neck. He suddenly realized something was not quite right. He didn't pull away—nothing would convince him to do **that**—but he cocked his head curiously to one side, "What's wrong?"

Maia shrugged, smiling, "I don't know. Stop talking," she giggled and kissed him.

Snape ignored her (although he liked the kiss), "Tell me what is wrong with you, Forthe."

She suddenly answered, her face going blank, "Umbridge made me use a cursed quill. I have to do whatever any professor asks me to do."

He stepped back, crossing his arms sceptically over his chest, "Oh really?"

She shrugged, figuring that that must be what was wrong, "I guess so."

He had to test her to see if she was actually cursed: it could be useful if she really was. What was something she would never voluntarily do?

"Alright, kiss me," he smirked.

She replied without hesitation (or words), not only kissing him, but relieving him of his cloak…his robes…she had even gotten down to his shirt and begun to unbutton that—

"Forthe," he stopped her, "there are other places to do this. Follow me."

She followed him from his office into another, larger chamber. Once he had closed the door, he turned to her, a very pleased look on his face. The part of Maia that wasn't cursed pulled, strained, even fought for control—to escape—but she remained unmoved. Her body just wouldn't listen.

Maia was saved by Cham (for once) when the semi-changed girl burst in with a large grin on her face. Maia sighed with relief. Snape, however, was less than pleased.

"Tell that menace to leave, Forthe," he commanded in his teacher voice.

"Professor Snape said to tell you to leave," said Maia robotically.

Cham struck an imitation-Maia pose, "I'm not Maia's friend anymore…I'm Maia!"

Snape groaned and gave Maia a look which she, in turn, exchanged dubiously. Maia took a closer look at 'herself' and suddenly noticed the change.

"Holy cornflakes, Cham! What did you do to your hair! And—hey! Those are my best robes!" She lunged at Cham, "Take them off you little pig!"

Cham/Maia dodged Maia and swaggered away from her, but her stride was suddenly broken by the pile of clothing on the floor. Tripping, she growled and whirled on the culprit, but when she recognized what it was, her eyes widened (although the expression couldn't be seen through her hair so you'll have to take our word for it). She glanced over at Snape and shrieked.

"Waaaaaaaaah! My potions professor is NAKEE!!!"

"Not quite," snapped Snape grumpily, realizing that now would be a good time to rebutton his shirt.

Maia then succeeded, while Cham was in shock, to remove her robes from her friend and fold them up carefully. It was at that point that Malfoy walked in.

"Professor, I don't like the grade I got on this ess—" he stopped and looked around the room, seeing Snape's half-naked form, and the dishevelled ones of Cham and Maia. "P—professor?" He stared at Snape in shock, "I—"

"This is a bad time, Malfoy," Snape snapped (again).

"You think?" Maia replied sarcastically.

"Maia stole my robes!" whined Cham.

"They're **my** robes!"

Malfoy looked a little relieved to hear this. "Cham," he asked, "What are you doing? And what happened to your hair?"

A few minutes later, everyone was sitting on a couch in the common room (well actually just Snape and Maia were—Cham and Malfoy were on the floor), and fortunately everyone was completely dressed. Maia and Malfoy were attempting to convince Cham that being Maia was a bad idea, while Snape glared in frosty silence from Malfoy to Cham.

"You can't be me!" Maia said for the fourth time.

"Why not?" Was Cham's fourth reply.

"Because…there can't be two of us!" Maia grinned triumphantly at her friend.

"You're right," sighed Cham, "I guess you'll just have to be Cham."

Maia screamed in frustration. She whirled on Snape, "Help!"

He just shrugged angrily, "What does it matter if she pretends she's you? It doesn't mean she is."

Cham stared at him… "Yeah, I suppose I'll have to make a Polyjuice potion—"

"NO!" The force of everybody's yell made Cham topple over.

"Cham…you don't want to be Maia," said Malfoy, his face lighting up like a beacon of intelligence, "because Professor Snape kisses her."

A look of infinite horror and disgust crossed over Cham's face. She jumped up, pulled out her wand, and tapped it against her head forcefully, making her hair return to normal.

"It's okay," she told Snape hurriedly, "You can hate me."

The professor smiled thinly, "Good. Now get out. Malfoy, I will deal with your grade later." He turned to where Maia had been sitting. He roared in frustration when he noticed that Maia had run out of the room while Cham returned to normal. "FORTHE!!!"

Malfoy and Cham made their getaway, racing through Hogwarts until they were clear of the dungeons. Malfoy bade goodbye to Cham and headed to the third floor, hoping he could catch Harry and taunt him (one of his favourite pastimes).

"I'm bored," said Cham out loud.

"You're always bored," came Maia's voice as she emerged from around a corner. Looking around, she whispered, "Cham, I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"Back in Snape's room—" they both shuddered as Maia continued, "I had to do **everything** he told me to. I couldn't help it! It was that quill Umbridge made me use. It cursed me to do what I wrote."

"For how long?"

"Seven hundred and fifty minutes…wah! That's—"

"Twelve and a half hours," Cham said automatically.

Maia groaned, and then stared at Cham, "How did you know that?"

"Seven hundred and fifty divided by sixty."

Realization dawned on Maia's face, "Cham! You're smart because of Umbridge's quill!"

Cham slowly shook her head, "No, Professor Snape told me a while back to shut up for seven hundred and fifty minutes, or until I figured out how long that was in hours." She frowned, "I just memorized it. What is it with teachers and the number seven hundred and fifty? It's dumb."

"Yes, but you did figure it out though. When Snape told you to."

"No I made Draco do it for me."

Maia sighed, "Yeah, you're still stupid…But shouldn't you be cursed too?"

Cham grinned, "You told me to spell 'intelligently' wrong, stupid."

Maia groaned, "You could have been smart for five hundred whole minutes!"

"Well here's a smart idea—" Cham began, "we should hide so you don't run into You-Know-Who again."

"Voldemort?"

"No, Snape!"

"Oh! Right, quick, behind the statue!"

"We can't hide here for ten more hours!" Cham griped after the first five minutes, "It's boring…and uncomfortable."

"Well where do **you** propose we go?"

"We can hide in…er…there!" Cham grabbed Maia and lunged behind another statue that two other students had vanished behind.

"The Ravenclaw common room!" Cham presented it to Maia.

"Why are we here?"

"Because nobody **expects** us to be here."

"Yeah, what **are** you doing in here? You two are in Slytherin, aren't you?" One boy came up behind them, glaring suspiciously at each of them.

"Uh—" Cham began.

"You're spies! Get out!" The student got several of his friends to help throw the two girls out.

Maia cursed loudly as they exited, "This sucks! There's nowhere to hide!"

Professor Flitwick just happened upon the two students and gazed up at them in surprise. "Miss Charm? Miss Forthe? What are you doing out so late? Return to your house common room at once!"

Maia cursed even louder than before, her legs dragging her to the dungeons. She nervously peered around the common room, making sure Snape was nowhere near before sinking down into a chair in front of the fireplace. She scooted it closer to the fire and stared at the glowing embers. Just as she realized how tired she was (not to mention how late it was) the fire shot up, burning as brightly as if it had just been lit.

"Don't **do** that!" Cham jumped up in her chair.

Maia glowered, "Why not?" The fire spit sparks out at Cham.

"It scares me!" Cham whined.

"Stop whining." Maia glared at the fire and it hissed back.

Two sinister figures suddenly appeared on either side of Maia. The fire shrank down. Crabbe and Goyle.

"Hey, beautiful."

"Looking good, gorgeous."

"What d'you want?" She scowled, too tired to deal with their jokes.

"Heard you have a problem—"

"Yeah, thought we'd help out a bit."

"Don't need it," Maia stated firmly.

"Oh really?"

"Well then, there's someone who'd like to have a word."

Cham's eyes widened and the fire went completely out. Two long bony hands rested insidiously on Maia's shoulders. _–Oh no—_she thought with horror_—not now—_

Snape took her chin firmly in both his hands and tilted it up, staring icily down at her, "Come."

She closed her eyes tightly, getting up. She cast a pleading glance in Cham's direction as she followed Snape. Cham merely smiled and waved as her friend disappeared. Snape hadn't looked too happy…

By morning Maia was still half asleep, sprawled exhaustedly among the pillows and blankets. She had her head under a pillow, blocking out the annoying sunlight that even found its way into the dungeons, unfortunately, she eventually had to come out for air. Snape chuckled when he came in later and she was still asleep. She was lucky it wasn't a weekday—or she'd be late for class. Still, he found it prudent to wake her before lunchtime. Sitting beside her, he brushed her hair from her face and cupped her cheek in his hand. Running his thumb over her lips, he smiled as her eyes opened.

"Professor?" Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes tiredly, "What time 'sit?"

"Nearly noon. You had a long night." He kissed her before standing up.

"No kidding," she replied, seeing all her clothes strewn on the floor.

Getting up, she tiredly got dressed and attempted to wake herself up. Curses used a lot of energy. Either that, or Snape had developed a talent for wearing her out. He certainly seemed pleased enough. At least until Cham burst in.

"There you are Maia! I couldn't find you!"

Maia looked up grumpily, "Sure," she said sarcastically. "You darn well knew where I was."

"Oh fine, be grumpy, Mr. Mean Person."

"It's **Miss** Mean Person to you, you idiot!" Maia snapped back.

"Yeah, well—"

"Charm, get out. And Forthe, go get something to eat. You need it," Snape glowered at both of them.

Maia was only too happy to leave.


	7. Pensive

A few days later, Maia sat outside Snape's office. She'd received detention (once more) from Umbridge, who was decidedly too busy to spend an hour with Maia. Harry was in the office at the moment, being taught remedial potions or something like that. Shouting could be heard quite loudly—she couldn't make out what was being said, but it was obvious that Snape was not happy. Harry must have really messed up this time. –_Great_—she thought—_now he'll take it out on me_—

She jumped when the door crashed open and Harry went flying out into the hallway. Snape was **really** mad.

"I never want to see you in this office again!"

Harry shot Maia an "I-feel-really-sorry-for-you" look as he scurried off.

Snape's black eyes riveted on her, and he whirled back around, indicating that Maia should follow him into the office. He didn't speak for a long time; he just stood there and watched her as she sat down nervously. Tracing his mouth with a long finger, he stared thoughtfully at her, still seething at something. Maia stared back only for a few moments before she broke under the tension and looked down, concentrating on something else.

—_Cornflakes!_— she had runes homework.

"Runes shouldn't be that difficult for you, Forthe," he said quietly.

"What?" She looked up.

"Dragons love runes. It should be easy for you."

"I still didn't do my homework."

"You never do any of your homework; why should you care?"

Maia shrugged, "I care enough not to want a detention for not doing my homework three nights in a row."

He grunted and returned to his reverie, mulling over something. Finally, more pressing business drew him from his previous worries. "Forthe—I apologize. I shouldn't be dwelling in my own thoughts." He offered her a hand. She hesitated, but saw a dangerous glint in his eye, so she placed her calloused hand awkwardly in his larger one.

Helping her up, he smirked in his catlike way, coming closer. He saw her wince and abruptly moved back, "What?" He growled, his eyes flashing angrily.

"Nothing—I just…er…" she searched for an excuse. Finding none, she surrendered, "It was just a reflex."

He glared suspiciously at her, "Well suppress it next time. I don't need **you** criticizing me too."

"I wasn't—"

"Of course not. You flinch **every** time somebody gets near you," he replied caustically.

"No, but I'm sure you know all about cowering."

He just scowled at her, "Why don't you find out?" He indicated the harmlessly shimmering pensieve. "Potter decided **he** could."

"Maybe I will," she said defiantly.

"Let me help you—" he shoved her face into the pensieve.

She fell in, landing on the ground with an undignified thump. Looking around, she was all alone…except the small dark-haired boy cowering in a corner. He looked scared—and she saw why when a woman ran into the room, screaming at a man with a hooked-nose and angry black eyes. The man struck the woman. She reeled back as he started shouting at her. Maia looked at the little boy, who was crying.

The scene swirled grey around her and suddenly the little boy was older, probably about her age. He sat alone in the dark room, enraptured by a book…it seemed to be for potions. He scribbled notes in it, leaving very few margins blank. Occasionally he would take out his wand and try a spell out, seeing what it did. The angry man burst into the room, ripping the book from the boy's hands for no reason. He began tearing pages from it after flipping through it and seeing nothing 'useful' inside. The boy protested and was struck down. He glared up at the man and pointed his wand at him, "Sectumsempra!" There was a blinding white flash and the scene changed again.

It was with relief that Maia found herself suddenly in the middle of a schoolroom—Hogwarts. There was no angry man in **this** memory…but there were two boys who approached the dark-haired boy with grins. They didn't intend to do any good. Sneaking up behind him, they each grabbed an arm, dragging him out of the room and up the stairs. The handsome black-haired boy called to his friend, "Hey James, what d'you say we have detention in the astronomy tower?"

"I think that's a good idea, Sirius," James grinned.

No matter how much the boy struggled, he refused to call for help, and he couldn't access his wand. By the time they had reached the tower he was exhausted, but he put up another fight when they tried to shove him into a cupboard.

"What's wrong, Snivellus? Don't want to sleep under the stars tonight?"

"Afraid you'll fall and get an owie?" The two boys laughed, finally succeeding in getting him into the cupboard and locking it.

"Don't worry—"

"Somebody'll find you eventually."

Maia had had enough. She started shouting at the two boys, who obviously didn't hear her, so she began to curse loudly.

"Seen enough?" Full-grown Snape asked from behind her, his eyebrow raised.

"Yes," Maia glared at him.

Once out of the pensieve, she stared calculatingly at her professor. He was much more dangerous now considering that he had years of experience behind him. He could kill her twenty different ways in the blink of an eye, and yet he hadn't started out that way. It was a bit unnerving to see that side of him. It didn't make her pity him, it just enlightened her as to how much more adept he had become. She was the weaker of the two, and she knew it.

She didn't try to stave him off when he approached her and put a hand on her waist, nor when he bent to kiss her. He didn't like it as much when she was so quiet. It was only a few minutes before he spoke softly, "You may go now."

Alone once more, he turned to the pensieve and stared thoughtfully at it. He cursed whoever had given him such a depressing life…

"Maia, listen to me. People change. Do you think I'd still be here if I hadn't changed?" Sirius followed her as she paced across the room. He stopped her, putting a hand on her shoulders, "Look, I know you're angry at me—"

"Angry? Angry! Angry doesn't begin to cover how mad I am at you!" She shoved him aside, continuing, "How could you be such a fathead?"

"Maia, I told you, people change." He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and muttered, "Besides, it's not like Snape was the helpless person you saw. He had a thousand curses he tried on us."

"Hmm…I wonder **why**?" She cast an icy glare his way.

"I know we shouldn't have done some of the things we did, but sometimes he **deserved** it!"

She stalked up to him, "You're right…" she punched him, "and you deserved **that**."

He held his nose, which was now extremely sore, "Maia, you can't possibly be defending him."

"I would defend him even if he was **Voldemort**! He has every right to hate you!"

"Oh? And who do you hate? Hmm? Umbridge? I know you don't like her. Would **you** lock **her** in the astronomy tower?"

Maia paused, "Yes, but that's different—she deserves it."

"Just as much as Snape did."

"He didn't **do** anything to you! You were just being bullies!"

"Admittedly it may have looked like that, but he didn't show you the time he cut James across the face…nor did you see the time he hung me from one of the towers by my belt. Most of those curses we put on him were things he had done to us."

"Oh, and why did he do them to you?"

"I don't know! Go ask **him**! I just know what I saw!"

"You swear you are telling the truth?"

"Yes! I don't remember who was the first to ever curse the other, but I do know that he was not helpless. There, now you have both sides of the story."

"I still think—"

He approached her, putting his hands on her shoulders, "Who do you trust more?"

Maia looked at him, "You."

"Good," he smiled gently, "Now does that make you feel better?"

"A little," she admitted.

He patted her shoulder, "All right then. Now can we take that walk I came here to go on?"

Maia shrugged, "I guess."


	8. Dark Deeds

Maia sat, bored enough to consider homicide, in another potions class. Her back had healed (regrettably with a long white scar across it), the dragon had disappeared, and she was still in the middle of a very strange situation. Fortunately, things had quieted down, and she still hadn't seen or heard anything about Lucius and his goonies. In fact, things weren't so bad. She'd taken up meeting with Sirius in the forest. Sometimes Remus was there with them, other times he wasn't.

Cham nudged Maia, whispering, "Pay attention. Snape's got that detention look in his eyes."

Maia grumbled and picked up her quill, pretending to take notes. She was actually scribbling: this is stupid, this is stupid…this is DUMB…this is stupid…STOOPID…

"Professor Snape!" The door opened and a man entered. Maia glanced at him and groaned. Just what she needed. If Malfoy's father hadn't come to get her, he would at least recognize her…especially with her blue hair. She just kept her head down and prayed…

"You have a student in this room—" Maia cursed "—who has disrupted the entire magical community. Would you kindly escort Miss Forthe outside for me?"

Snape shot a glance at Maia and smiled briefly, but not comfortingly. "Forthe, come," he grabbed her by the collar and dragged her into the hallway. Curious students glanced eagerly on, hoping to catch a glimpse of her fate. Snape closed the door behind Lucius, giving the other students a warning glare.

"She is the Proteus?"

"Of course. How could anyone mistake her for anything else?" He seemed offended.

"Why are you talking about me?" Maia asked indignantly, "Do I need to remind you that I cursed your butt off school grounds the last time we met?" She pulled her wand out.

"Forthe, give me the wand. You're being ridiculous," Snape took the wand from her. "And anyway, this wand doesn't belong to you."

"Yes it does!" Maia protested.

"Not anymore," Snape growled. Upon seeing Maia's face, he added softly, "You'll get this back. If you do **exactly** as Lucius says."

"What?" Maia had no time to do anything before Lucius had pointed his wand at her and cursed her. She went limp. "No, no, no, no, NO! Professor, help!"

Snape stood back and watched as Lucius levitated her to her feet with his wand, "I can't." He tossed Lucius a bundle of cloth. Unwrapping it, Lucius nearly dropped it.

"I stopped wearing these in book two! Why'd you have to go and make the stupid portkey into a sock?"

"Because I wanted to," Snape replied snidely.

Lucius glared at him, but he took the sock and made Maia grab onto it too. The room dimmed around them, and Maia slipped and let go of the portkey as they landed, finding herself on the cold marble floor of the grand hallway in Malfoy's manor. It just made her laugh. Lucius brushed himself off and reprimanded her, "Shut up. You've no reason to laugh," he removed the curse from her.

Maia just gave him a scornful look and groaned as she stood. Lucius, meanwhile, had handed one of his servants the portkey without realizing that it was a house-elf. The grateful house-elf squealed "I'm free!" as it was whisked out of sight.

Lucius' face turned red and he scowled, unable to form words. This made Maia laugh again. He glared at her, but could not chastise her because a tall man with dark hair and a huge forehead approached.

"Is **that** her?"

"Yes, McNair, this is here," he said through clenched teeth.

"She's not so bad. Better than what I thought she'd be like."

Maia smiled ingratiatingly. Lucius just scoffed.

"If she **makes** it to the Riddle house," he glared warningly in Maia's direction, "then I am sure she will get along quite well with the dark lord. They both seem to have the peculiar tendency to annoy me."

"Don't let anyone hear you say that," McNair warned Lucius, "you don't want the dark lord to be angry with you."

They both heard a sudden crash. While they had been discussing her, Maia had changed into a dragon and was making good her escape. Unfortunately, the stone wall had resisted her, and she lay on the floor for just a few moments before she got up and scrambled for another exit.

"Not the—" **crash** "—Bernini sculpture!" Lucius groaned loudly, "Proteus, you are dead!" He rushed at her, but only managed to run the retreating dragon into another precious piece of art.

"McNair! Help me get her under control!"

"Isn't anyone else coming to help us?"

"Severus should be here as soon as—argh—he deals—oof—with Bumbledore—ouch!—and anyone else with—damn you, Dragon!—questions—" Lucius shouted as he attempted to hold Maia down.

The dragon, or rather Maia, tried to throw him off, but he clung onto her tightly, so she head-butted the wall again in an effort to escape. There was a very loud clattering as the tremor ran through the entire house. McNair tried to stave Maia off, but every spell he uttered just ricocheted off her scales. Once more she ran into the wall.

It was during this particular scuffle that Snape appeared, "What is going on?"

"This stupid-ow—damned—argh—dragon of yours—oof—will not behave!" Lucius bellowed over Maia's roaring.

"You have to know how to handle her!" Snape replied before calling, "**FORTHE**!"

The dragon suddenly took on an expression most beasts of its species never acquired: one of abject mortification. "Yes sir?" Just moments later, the dragon had disappeared and Maia, ordinary human Maia, stood nervously before the professor.

"You've been misbehaving again."

Maia looked around at the chaotic environment that had been immaculate just minutes before. "Well I don't see why I can't. You're not being so nice either."

He placed her own wand against her temple, "I know. Shall we make a little wager? This wand has been in prolonged contact with a dragon animagus…let's find out if you are vulnerable to its power."

A sudden jolt shook Maia's frame and she fell to the ground. She looked up at Snape, who towered over her with the wand in his hand and a nasty grin on his face.

"But I—but that…that…I…"

He pointed the wand at Maia again, "Get up. Lucius will show you where to go."

Maia glowered at him as she stood, "That's called cheating where I come from."

"It's about time somebody taught you Americans some humility."

"It's not like you're qualified. You Brits only win a war with the United States if we're on **your** side!"

"Shut up. This is ridiculous."

"What? If I can recall, you—"

She was cut off when Lucius opened a door and McNair shoved her inside, "This is your room for the next few days."

"Stay put, Forthe."

"You owe me a hell of a lot of frog-eyes for this," Maia grumbled as the door was closed in her face.

"Frog-eyes?" Lucius asked as Snape locked the door.

"They're just little balls of sugar." He held out a handful to show Lucius, "She loves them." He smirked, "It's actually not a bad idea to carry some with you. They're very useful for bribing her if you don't want to cause too much trouble."

"I'll remember that."

McNair changed the topic, "Has the dark lord sent word yet?"

"He wants her in two days. We have to see to it that she's presentable by then," he saw Snape's questioning expression and added, "Presentable to **him**. That means no more outbursts like today." Lucius shuddered; he was going to be very sore tomorrow.

X…X

Snape entered the room later that night and set a paper bag filled with the frog-eyes Maia had demanded down on a table. He sat beside her on the bed. She was staring at her hands with absolutely no expression on her face and though he waited for several minutes, she didn't acknowledge his presence the slightest bit. After a while, he stood and made for the door, "Forthe, I hope you know what the dark lord has promised me in return for bringing you to him."

"The antidote," Maia growled.

"You're smarter than you look, Forthe."

Maia lifted her head to growl some sort of expletive at him, but the door was already closed and the professor was gone. She sighed angrily and settled back into her trance, contemplating any escape. Like before, she found none.

X…X

They dressed her in a white silk shirt and black dress slacks, putting a black robe over her. She threatened to cause as much trouble as possible if they made her wear a dress or anything else feminine, so they didn't. It was dark and grey outside, much like her mood.

Snape, Lucius, and McNair gathered around Maia, pointing their wands at a point just above her head. They muttered something Maia found incomprehensible before the world disappeared into blackness. Maia thought it would never reappear until she felt the ground beneath her feet. It was just dark outside.

Maia looked around. She was in a graveyard, surrounded by strange men in dark cloaks. One wore no mask, only the hood of his cloak covered his head and darkened his face. White bony fingers clenched and unclenched impatiently, "The girl?" his voice echoed hoarsely.

Lucius approached with Maia's wand and placed it in the dark lord's hand. Voldemort whirled around, holding the wand in front of him he sighted along it, staring straight at Maia, ready to kill at any moment should something displease him. Maia was being held back by Snape and McNair, and though she looked scared, she still struggled and quietly threatened to do quite a few nasty things to them.

"This is her?" He approached slowly, like a predatory cat, and circled her. He waved the two men away and peered closely at her face.

"You look like a snake," she smiled in a reptilian way, her eyes glinting iridescently.

He raised an eyebrow, forcing her mouth open and examining her teeth. He tapped her eye-teeth with the end of his wand, "You have extremely long canines," he murmured half to himself. Without warning he shouted, "How many timesss must I tell you, Severusss? I have enough vampiresss!"

"She isn't—" Snape began just as Maia did.

"I'm not a—" She protested.

"She's a mudblood," Lucius finished for them both.

"Does your family have a problem keeping your big mouths shut?" Maia's eyes flashed angrily, narrowing. "I may have been adopted by muggles, but my **real** parents LEFT ME WITH POWERS YOU WILL NEVER HOPE TO ACQUIRE!!!" Her voice became deep, resinous, and extremely loud as she changed into a reptilian beast of prey. She spread her wings, roaring and leaping at Lucius, who barely managed to evade her. The ground shook as she landed, and Death Eaters backed away warily, murmuring unsurely.

Lucius retreated slowly, holding his wand (which was of no use anyway) in front of him with a shaking hand, "Call her off—Severus, call her OFF!"

Maia lowered her head, prowling toward him with a grin, "I'll have your—" She was cut off suddenly, finding herself lying immobile on the ground.

"_Primo mortem_!" A hissing command accompanied by a white glow made Maia tingle, and she immediately became human again.

Voldemort stood over her, a viciously pleased grin on his face. "She'll do very well, Severus. Very well indeed." He removed his spell and graciously helped her up. She looked around and realized that the Death Eaters had all taken off their masks and were bowing. Snape was no longer there.

Voldemort turned to his Death Eaters, "Let it be known that this witch will very shortly be joining our ranks. Treat her with respect, and I am sure she will have no problem ridding us of our foes."

"Ha! So there, Malfoy…wait—what?!" Maia started, staring at Voldemort in shock, "**I** don't agree to this!"

He forcefully turned her to face him, "I forgot to mention that you do not have a choice."


	9. Saving Maia

Meanwhile, in the Slytherin common room, Cham cornered Malfoy, her wand pointed at his throat.

"Where's Maia?" She screeched at him, and the rest of the Slytherins crowded around to watch.

"How am **I** supposed to know?" He whined, eyeing her wand warily.

"Because your damn father always has something to do with messes like these!" She said, sticking her wand up his nose. "Now speak or I'll set your bogies on fire!"

"My dab doesn't twell mwe anyfing," cried Malfoy in a plugged voice.

"Release him Charm," ordered a snide commanding voice.

Cham wiped the end of her wand on Malfoy's robe, facing Snape, who had just arrived, as the Slytherins all dispersed. "Where's Maia?" she shrieked at him. It was the twenty-seventh time she had asked the question, and her voice was growing louder with every time she said it.

"She is safe, for the moment," Snape said evenly, then turned, motioning for Cham to follow.

She did, suspiciously, kicking Malfoy when he tried to sneak past her.

Snape led her to his office, "Have a seat, Charm."

She glared at the seat that was offered her, but sat down.

"You will be a nuisance unless we get you on our side," he said as she sat. "Give me your arm."

"But I **like** my arm!" She cried.

He rolled his eyes, grabbing her left arm and pulling up the sleeve of her robe, "Sit still; this will only hurt for a bit." He pointed his wand at her forearm.

"Ow!"

"I haven't done anything yet, Charm."

"Oh."

Snape rolled his eyes for the second time and said a few words in Latin. Cham felt a burning sensation on her forearm, and she watched as a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth appeared on her arm.

"Now can I say 'ow?'"

He stared at her, but finally said, "Yes.."

"OW!!!!!!" Shrieked Cham with six exclamation points.

Snape blinked. Cham grinned and admired her new Death Eater tattoo, unaware of what it really was. Then she looked at Snape with poison in her eyes, "WHERE'S MAIA?"

It was so loud that Peeves, five floors above, jumped guiltily from his painting of rude words on the ceiling. "I don't know!" he cried, looking around, frightened, "I don't even **know** Maia!" He flew away, not finishing the naughty word he was writing. Later, when students saw it, they thought it was such a cool word that it spread through the school in less than a day. Five years later, the half curse word became an international word for ceiling. (But we aren't there yet. We're still in Snape's office.)

"Maia is safe with the dark lord," Snape said.

"Oh," Cham seemed to think about this for a moment, then she suddenly jumped up out of her seat, The DARK LORD?" She grabbed Snape's robes from across the desk, shaking him, "What have you been smoking?! How can you be **safe** with Moldyvort?"

"Rest assured, she is quite safe," he stated firmly, removing her hands from his clothing with an expression of distaste.

"You id—" she was cut off as Lucius walked in.

Lucius looked at Cham, seeing her dark mark, "You serve the dark lord now," he told her coldly.

"What makes you say that?" Asked Cham suspiciously.

Lucius pointed at her mark.

"Oh, that. I got it today, do you like it?" She flexed her arm, "I don't think the skull is realistic enough, personally, and the snake looks more like a worm."

Snape and Lucius exchanged a glance. "Maia's friend?" Lucius asked.

"How did you know?"

Lucius watched as Cham picked her teeth, and then wiped her finger off on a rare cloth that was folded on the table. "Just a good guess, I suppose."

"I'm not being paid enough for this," Snape muttered.

"Paid? You're being paid?!" Lucius exclaimed, "That isn't fair!"

"Relax. He gave me the antidote to a **certain student's** love potion—" he eyed Cham "—so that I would have no attachment to his newly acquired trophy." Snape held up a small vial.

"Hey! Cool!" Snape didn't realize the antidote was gone until he saw it in Cham's hand. "Would you be mad if I dropped it?"

Snape eyed the antidote, "No, but someone might lose a few body parts if it **happened** to drop."

Cham glanced apologetically at Lucius, "Sorry. I guess your nose would go first; it is rather long."

Snape slammed his fists on the table, "**Your** body parts, **not** Lucius'!"

Cham's face twisted into horror then, suddenly and amazingly, realization. Her face brightened. She loosened her fingers around the antidote.

"No!" cried Snape as he saw it slipping, "Don't!"

"What is this called?" Cham asked, tapping her chin. "Oh yes…amputation…so," she said, dangling the antidote idly in her fingers. "I think it would be smart of you, professor, if you told me **exactly** where Maia is."

"She seems to be getting smarter," murmured Lucius. Then he added, "Except that it's 'manipulation' not 'amputation.'"

"I heard that!" snapped Cham, "I'm not blind you know!"

Snape cast a sideways glance at Lucius, "**Seems** to be."

"Where is Maia?" Cham hissed.

"At the Riddle House," said Lucius calmly. Snape shot him a heated glance.

"I can deal with her, Malfoy."

"Oh, how?"

Snape looked at Lucius for a long moment, and then suddenly lunged for the potion in Cham's hand. The girl screeched and (you saw this coming, didn't you?) dropped the potion. Snape tried to catch the antidote, but Lucius pulled him back so he wouldn't get cut on the broken glass. Cham found it to be a very convenient time to sprint out the door, Snape bellowing behind her. It enlightened her as to quite a few curse words.

"I'm going to have detention for the rest of my **life**!" Wailed Cham as she ran as fast as she could to get away from the dungeons.

Lucius watched as Snape sobbed brokenly and began to lick the floor in a vain attempt to get any drops of the antidote.

"Oh yes," said Lucius snidely, "You're handling this **very** well."

Snape spit out a piece of glass at him.

X…X

"Sirius!" Cham bellowed, having finally found her way to Sirius' house (don't ask us how, she just did). She raced into the kitchen and burst in on a secret meeting of the Order of the Phoenix.

"Umm," said Sirius, looking up from a map he had been leaning over as various Aurors and the headmaster gazed curiously at Cham, "I'm a little busy right now, Cham."

"I don't care!" She cried as she grabbed Sirius and started to drag him out the door.

"No, I really am…Voldemort and…"

Cham whirled around and glared at everyone, "You people need to stop playing around with Moldyvort! There are **much** more important things than defeating him, you know!"

Everyone exchanged glances, and a couple of the younger Aurors giggled.

"Erm," asked Sirius, "like what?"

"Like Maia!"

Sirius blinked, "Is she in trouble?" He asked anxiously.

"Yes! Aren't you **listening **to me?!"

Sirius looked over at Dumbledore, "I…I have to go."

Dumbledore smiled knowingly, "Of course you do," he said gently.

Sirius let himself be tugged out of the room by Cham.

"Maia is at the Riddle House," she explained as they rushed out onto the street.

"How did you find that out?"

"Malfoy…well…no time to explain!"

They kept running until they were far enough down a dark alley not to be seen by muggles. Cham paused, "How are we going to get to the Riddle House?" She asked, "I don't even know what the Riddle House is! Is it some messed up circus?"

"No," said Sirius slowly, "It's Voldemort's home."

"He has a home?"

"Yes, where do you think he'd live if he didn't?"

Cham shrugged, "I always thought he crawled into a slimy cave in a dump or something."

Sirius laughed, "That sounds accurate." He looked around him, seeing only a few people at a bus depot in the distance. "I think we're far enough away from anybody to apparate."

Cham's face screwed up into a grimace, "I hate apparating."

"Don't worry, I know how to do it."

"That's exactly what the other guy said when this happened," Cham held up her left hand, showing her three missing fingers. Sirius stared for a moment until Cham grinned and showed him her fingers, which had just been bent. "Just kidding."

Sirius glared at her and grabbed her arm. With an abrupt "pop" they apparated.

"Here we are," said Sirius as he looked up at the Riddle House nervously, drawing his wand. Cham followed suit, her hands shaking.

"Now what?" Sirius asked himself when they reached the door. "Well I suppose we should just go in…"

Cham stopped him, "No, that would be rude."

"Huh?!" Before he could stop her, Cham knocked loudly on the door. "!!!" Exclaimed Sirius. He grabbed Cham and looked for a place to hide. He glared at all of the dead, fried bushes. "Why did the Death Eaters have to do target practice on the only hiding places?" He wailed.

To their alarm, the front door of the house abruptly opened. In the doorway stood a short person wearing a black, glittering Death Eater robe and a silver mask.

"I can't **breathe** in this thing!" Complained the Death Eater as it took off the mask.

Sirius sighed in relief, "Maia!"

"Sirius!" Maia cried happily, leaping into his arms.

"Cham!" Exclaimed Cham, feeling left out.

"Where are Voldemort and the others?" Asked Sirius.

"Oh, they're all at the Ministry of Magic; something about a prophet-see or something."

"The prophecy!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"I have to go warn the Order…no, I have to stop them…argh!" Sirius gave Maia a quick hug, "I'll be back; you and Cham get out of here." He glanced at Cham, "Take care of Maia for me!" He paused, "On second thought, Maia, take care of yourself…and watch Cham. The school is that way!" He pointed in a random direction as he disappeared.

"Okay…" Maia said, too late for him to hear her. She gazed at the place he had just stood in with a sinking feeling in her chest.

"Come on Maia. We have to go," Cham tugged at her sleeve.

"All right," Maia swiftly changed into dragon form. "Get on," she told Cham in her loud dragon voice. Spreading her wings, she took off, flapping the gigantic appendages to gain altitude.

"So what did Moldyvort want with you anyway?" Cham called to Maia.

"It wasn't that bad being captured…I was going to be all-important and stuff…but he wanted me to kill his foes."

Cham made a face, "Yuck! Why would he want you to kill his toes?" Cham obviously couldn't hear well with the air whistling past them.

Maia stopped beating her wings, gliding for a moment in confusion. "Huh?" Then it dawned on her what Cham thought. "Oh! No, I said FOE—" She was cut off as a particularly tall tree forced her to veer off course.

The topic was forgotten as both (or at least Maia) realized that muggles would see them if Maia didn't fly higher. The rest of the trip was flown in silence, as Maia was concentrating on staying high enough to stay unspotted and low enough so Cham could breathe. Cham, on the other hand, was concentrating on not freezing. The spires of the school were a welcome sight.

Maia flew to the ground, stumbling as she landed. She was exhausted. It was dark by the time they arrived on the school grounds, and the lights had come on. Maia changed back after Cham dismounted, and the two entered Hogwarts.


	10. Bad News

Maia woke up the next morning, her arm burning. She glanced down and saw, with a wave of guilt, the dark mark. Voldemort wasn't happy, she could tell. Why, she didn't know, but she hoped it didn't involve her. Getting dressed and wandering into the Great Hall, she made sure that the mark was covered, but it still felt as though people were staring at her… searching for proof that she was a Death Eater.

She sat beside Cham, who also seemed a bit jumpy. When Snape put a hand on each of their shoulders, they both leapt out of their seats. "I didn't do anything!" Maia shrieked.

"Shh," Snape calmly said, "Forthe, you'd better come with me. Charm, don't do anything daft." He eyed her left arm warily.

Maia followed Snape with dread, especially once she noticed it was not toward the dungeons, but to Dumbledore's office that they were headed. Snape didn't even knock when they reached the door, he just entered, taking Maia's hand in his. Dumbledore was sitting (for once) beside his desk, a very solemn expression on his face. Snape pressed Maia gently forward, offering her a chair.

"Thank you, Severus. You may go now." Dumbledore knew Snape would not appreciate the news he had for Maia.

Maia shifted nervously in her chair, "Is something wrong, Professor?"

"Maia, what I am about to tell you is very serious news, and it might be a very close matter to you. Please understand that none of this is your fault or any of your friends' faults."

"Professor?" She asked carefully, knowing it had something to do with the sinking feeling she had had as she watched Sirius disappear.

"Sirius Black has unfortunately passed away. There was an accident in the ministry and he died fighting Voldemort's followers."

"Oh," Maia stared in shock at the ground, not knowing what else to say. She swallowed, feeling a lump in her throat. She could barely breathe, and she felt the sinking feeling spread from her chest, making her entire body tingle. Her eyes stung and became unfocused as tears welled up in them, threatening to spill over. "Y-you're sure?"

Dumbledore nodded sadly. After a few moments' silence, during which Maia wrung her hands in agonizing sorrow, the headmaster spoke softly, "I have made arrangements with your teachers. You do not have any commitments you need to be to, I expect."

Maia could only nod to show her understanding. "Thank you, sir."

"Don't forget your friends, Maia. They will be most helpful to you in these troublesome times." He gave her a sorrowful look before passing her a folded piece of paper. "Here, he wanted you to have this."

Maia took it gratefully, unable to open the letter right away. "Thank you, Professor." Staring at the small piece of parchment, she spoke in a broken whisper, "I should go now."

Dumbledore nodded, "Take care, Maia."

Maia left with her head bowed, afraid to be seen in such a vulnerable state. She started for the Great Hall, but thought better of it and went outside, by the lake. OWLs were over, and only a few students remained inside. However, Maia knew a place no one else knew about. She wandered into the Forbidden Forest, walking a frequently travelled path. Finding the hippogriff pen, she sat down beside Long John, who had been resting in the soft dirt, and opened the letter.

_Dearest Maia,_

_Please do not be sad (for I know that if you are reading this letter I have departed from this life) and know that I am safe wherever I may be. I want you to know that you were an extremely good friend and I hope that you are able to say the same for me. I cannot tell you how much I will miss you, but I know that you will still be able to feel happy. Don't forget that there is someone out there who is meant to find love in your heart, warmth by your side. He will surely be a better friend than I have ever been to you. My only wish is that you are happy. I love you very much, Maia-_

_-Love, Sirius_

The letter did not comfort her; it only made her eyes burn more. Strangely, however, her eyes remained dry and she was unable to shed any tears. Finally, realizing that the more she read the letter, the worse she felt, Maia decided it was prudent to fold it up again and put it in her pocket. Getting up, she took one last look around at the hippogriffs.

"You can't come to me this time, Sirius," she stated softly. Staring at the hippogriffs and giving Witherwings a sad stroke on the head, Maia realized she couldn't bear the thought of being so alone, so she made her way slowly back to the Great Hall where she was sure she could find Cham.

"Maia!" Cham caught up to her in the entrance hall. "I was just looking for y—what's wrong?" Cham drew back, seeing Maia's dejected face.

Maia found that she didn't have the courage to speak. She just shook her head.

"Maia? Did Snape finally get to you?"

Maia let out a miserable laugh that sounded more like a sob, shaking her head again. "Sirius," she managed to let out.

"What's wrong with him?" Cham gasped, "He was mean to you! The butt!"

Maia just gave Cham a despondent look and started heading back outside. Cham followed. She sat beside Maia, who leaned against the oak tree, staring straight ahead. After a while, Cham's curiosity got the better of her.

"Did he yell at you?"

No response.

"Oh my gosh! He ran away!"

Maia pointed to a rock with her wand (which had recently been returned to her) and hit Cham in the head with it.

"No! He…**died**, didn't he…" Cham suddenly realized. "Maia, I am so sorry."

"So am I," she whispered. After several moments of trying to breathe, Maia managed to say, "Now I have to go, Cham." She got up and walked back inside.

She almost wished Snape would find her. He didn't like Sirius; she could get mad at him for not feeling sorry. She suddenly received her wish, coming across him in the hall. He looked hassled, with a stack of paper tucked under one arm, but when he saw her, he forgot all about his important business.

"Forthe?"

She looked up at him from behind a curtain of blue hair.

"What's wrong?" He put a finger under her chin, looking concernedly at her. Seeing that she couldn't (or wouldn't) talk, he sighed, figuring it out. "Forthe…come with me."

Once they were alone in his chambers, he set down the papers and held her tightly against him, stroking her blue hair and kissing her forehead. For once, she felt safe enough to cry, which she did, putting her head against his shoulder when she ran out of tears. She had hoped he would be his normal sarcastic self so she could take it all out on him, but it wasn't his fault, and he was being so…**nice**. It felt good to cling to something, even if it was her Potions professor.

This was one of those times when (had ancient mythology been true) Cupid would be bound and gagged, drawn and quartered, and impaled by one of his own arrows. Maia—lost hopelessly in a tangle of emotions—wound her arms around Snape's neck, and kissed him hesitantly. He responded warmly, putting his arms around her waist and drawing her closer. He proved that he could evoke a feeling of sensuality in much the same way the treacherous snake lures the curious traveller nearer with its fascinating beauty (although it wasn't beauty that Snape put to use). But (for the sake of the readers), Cupid would still have to find a good hideout (to escape the clutches of the writers, who have unfortunately allowed the characters to evolve far from their expected purposes).

Much later, (sorry folks, this is only T) a very content professor looked down at his student's neon blue hair and smiled when she muttered something softly in her sleep.

"How mny times do I hve to tll you…I don't know!" She twitched and growled.

He watched interestedly, wondering what she was dreaming about.

"Never!" She tried to roll over, but he caught her with an arm and pulled her closer, kissing her cheek and murmuring in her ear, "Shh…there's nothing wrong." He gave her another kiss and she seemed to calm down a little, dreaming of something more peaceful. He smiled, sure that Maia could make even Voldemort crack a smile. Unfortunately, the next report the dark lord received did **not **make him smile.

It started the next morning when Lucius poofed into the room, landing not so gracefully on the floor, muttering, "Stupid portkey…" He stood up and glanced around, suddenly very quiet. Severus usually never slept this late, and since when did…aha! He caught sight of blue—Forthe—**she **was here.

Snape moaned softly, sensing another presence in the room. Without opening an eye, he attempted Legilimency…ooh, somebody wasn't happy. "Forthe, what—" He sat up and caught sight of Lucius, who was giving him a very nasty look. "Lucius? What brings you here?" The wizard's presence made him suddenly aware that he only had pants on and that he was in bed with the dark lord's most crucial pawn.

"Oh, I was just coming to see how the girl was handling, and I couldn't help but notice that she seems to have warmed up to you."

"Perhaps…" Snape glanced at Maia, who was still asleep, exhausted from the day before. He didn't want to wake her just yet. It would be cruel to bring her back into reality so soon.

"The dark lord doesn't want her impaired in any way, Severus. You can't do this."

He growled angrily, having barely managed to convince Maia that he was on her side. Now he had to explain everything to the dark lord…how was he going to excuse himself? "Can this wait?"

"No. I'm sure the dark lord will be fascinated to hear your excuse."

Snape cast a longing look at Maia, but he got up, cursing under his breath. "Alright, shall we go?"

Lucius offered him the portkey/sock, "Traitors first."

X…X

"You what? I ordered you to **watch** her, yesss, but not quite asss closely asss you seem to have been doing, Severusss." Voldemort cast a wary look at Snape, who just stood calmly under the dark lord's glare.

He spoke only when he was sure the dark lord was finished, "I have perfectly good reasoning. I would never do anything to upset you, my lord."

"Isss that right? Go on then." He tried to penetrate Snape's mind as the man spoke, but it was impossible. He was too damned good at Occlumency.

"You obviously cannot care for her, my lord, as you are most involved in regaining power, and you don't have the time to spend with her. She is in a delicate stage—especially after Bellatrix so kindly…**disposed** of Black—and she needs attention."

"Not the kind you seem to give her."

"Ah, but as a Proteus, she has certain needs that others don't."

"Needss that could hamper her should I need her in a battle?"

Snape replied smoothly, "I assure you that cannot happen. Dragons are only fertile once every few years, and it becomes very obvious when they are. It should happen once triennially." He paused before adding, "I'm merely doing what you ordered, my lord. You can trust me; I know everything she needs and desires." He smirked, "Like you said before: I'm the only one who can handle her."


	11. Room of Doom

"Cham! Why are you in the library? OWLs are over." Maia came across her friend, once she woke up, in the library.

"Because, I like it." Cham didn't seem to have a better reason.

"Well we should go do something interesting."

"Why are you suddenly so happy?" Cham asked suspiciously.

"I'm not happy."

"Well you're not sad either. Yesterday you were bawling your eyes out."

"Snape helped me," Maia replied thinly.

"Yuck."

"Shut up. Now can we do something fun?"

X…X

"AHHH!" Maia cried, whipping past Cham on her broomstick. It wasn't as fun as flying as a dragon, but this way Cham could keep up. Maia realized how much clearer things were when she dangled from a broomstick high above the ground. Not only was the air crisp and clear, but her thoughts calmed down, and she was free of troubles until she attempted to hop off her broom, flip, and land back on it. She missed slightly and landed on the ground below with a thud.

"I'm alright!" She called to a worried Cham.

By dinnertime, she was sore, tired, and wet. (After seeing her friend wipe out so many times, Cham had suggested doing their tricks above the lake, where the water could break her falls…and where curious students couldn't follow them). Several people stared, but Maia either ignored them or glared back, unperturbed. She sat and reached for several different dishes at once after the food appeared.

Cham watched her eat and wondered where all that food went. Snape, after wondering why she was wet, mused on the same thing. He hadn't noticed any part of her anatomy that could hold so much matter all at once, though he'd noticed quite a few other things. She didn't even talk, concentrating wholly on ingesting everything before her. He saw her broom on the floor and suddenly everything made sense. She'd been flying again.

A sudden boom made everybody jump; Maia panicked and sprouted a tail, which she quickly disposed of when she saw people staring at her. She smiled sheepishly; it was just thunder. After a few minutes, she suddenly seemed uninterested in food, knowing that the thunderstorm would only last a few hours. She wanted to go outside so badly, play in the rain and watch for lightning (at a safe distance, of course).

Finally her fear of electricity gave way to her love of thunder and she ran back out of the Great Hall with her broomstick clutched tightly in her hand. Cham watched with interest as, just a few minutes later, Snape excused himself and followed Maia's wet trail. She was surprised when she caught Dumbledore gazing after them with a smile. What was he thinking?

Malfoy saw the empty seat beside Cham and took it, "Hey Charm! I just got news from my uncle. He says Maia's gonna be staying with Snape all summer long, for training, and of course you'll be coming with me and my uncle—he'll teach you how to be a real…well you know."

"What?" Cham seemed genuinely confused.

"Never mind," Malfoy waved it off, realizing that Cham was too stupid to understand.

Meanwhile, outside Snape had found Maia, but he hadn't come out from behind the brush—yet. He didn't want to approach Maia until he knew what kind of mood she was in. So far, all she was doing was standing under the oak tree, watching the rain beat against the lake and lightning strike. He wondered what she was thinking and realized that she was still hurt. _–Time for a little intervention—_

"You aren't the only one who misses him," Snape said to her, calmly standing beside her.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you're weeping with grief!" She snapped back.

"Well, I wasn't talking about me."

"Then who?" Grumbled Maia.

He had barely mentioned Lupin and Potter and fangirls when a congregation of students jumped from behind the tree, waving brightly coloured flags (well, as bright as one could get with green, black, and silver since the students were Slytherins). The flags said things such as:

"_Cheer up Maia!"_

"_Stop crying you wimp!"_

Even: _"I stole a pair of Dumbledore's boxers for you!"_

In front of the mischievous group was Cham, holding a thoroughly soaked piece of paper.

"Hey! The lyrics are smudged…oh well—improvise!" The girl cleared her throat then started 'singing.' What she lacked in tone, she made up for in gusto and volume…lots of volume. "Be happy, not sappy! It's so grizzly, seeing your face sad in the drizzly! Black is dead, your eyes are red! I don't know if that's from crying or if it's that drug you're trying…" Cham paused in her made-up song, trying to quickly find more rhymes.

Maia interrupted, "I am not trying any drugs!"

"Er…it's not so great that you've lost your mate! But there are more dragons out there, in…the—er—air!" She finished and gave a bow to the applauding Slytherins behind her.

"We had a better made-up song with Draco's help, but it got wet," Cham said apologetically. "I didn't understand half the words anyway. For instance: do you know what a flubberbrain is?"

Maia glared at her friend, "That's what educated people call you, Cham. You want to know why? Because it means GO AWAY YOU BAD SONGWRITER!"

Cham's lower lip trembled, "You mean…you didn't like my song?"

"No! It was the worst song I have ever heard!" Maia started for her friend, a murderous glint in her eye, but Snape firmly held her by the arm.

Cham suddenly became infuriated, "Yeah, well…you're a big fat butt!…and a meanie!"

"You're an idiot!" Maia paused and added, "And you can't dance!"

"Ooh," Cham growled, "You can call me a bad songwriter, and you can call me stupid, heck—you can even say I don't dance, but you can't ever call me a burnt piece of toast!"

A long silence ensued, broken by Maia's confused voice, "I never called you that."

"I think something may be wrong with your friend, Forthe," Snape murmured.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," she hissed angrily.

He touched her cheek and said, "You know I love it when you're angry," kissing her.

One of the students looked at Cham, "Do we cheer or say 'eew?'"

Cham just stared in open-mouthed horror, especially when Maia put one hand on his shoulder and the other around his waist, whereas Snape's hands immediately found her hips.

"I—I…Maia, that is disgusting!" Cham shouted.

"Oh, so it's a bad thing…Eeeeeewwww!" The student said.

"I don't think they appreciate us," he whispered against her ear.

"Well they can **leave**," Maia shot a glare at Cham.

Cham frowned, "You—you—you stupid fat monkeybuttfacechickenlegfartingcowpiewithdogpoopontop! I **hate** you!" She stomped her foot on the ground and stalked off, followed by the rest of the Slytherins.

Maia felt guilty suddenly; after all, Cham had tried to help her. "Um…Professor—"

"Severus," he murmured.

Confused, Maia said, "Professor?"

"Severus," he repeated.

"No, Professor, I—"

"Severus! Forthe, call me by my **name**!"

"Oh, sorry Professor—"

He threw his hands up in frustration, cursing loudly.

Cham stormed about the common room, ignoring the frantic Slytherins who were trying to put out a fire, one student having accidentally set fire to one of the flags.

She whirled and grabbed Malfoy by the shoulders, "Do I **look** like a piece of toast?!" she screeched at him.

"Er…" he said nervously, "Do you **want** to look like a piece of toast?"

"NO!"

He held up his hands, "Okay, no, you do **not** look like a piece of toast."

"Good…do I look burnt?"

He jerked a thumb at the fire, "You will if you go over there."

"Argh," Cham growled just as a prefect stalked through the door. "Oh no, Snobby Snobsalot," (this was no attempt at mockery since nobody knew his real name…or if that **was** his real name).

"Hey! What's going on?" Snobsalot cried in surprise.

"Um—Millicent set something on fire!" Malfoy answered.

"Well somebody put it out!"

"We need something wet!"

The common room door suddenly opened and Maia stalked in, not bothering to spare anyone even a glance as she went to her dormitory, slamming the door behind her. It was difficult for Cham not to laugh when Snape entered, drenched in water, more so than Maia. He pulled a piece of seaweed (or lakeweed in this case) from his shoulder in distaste before following Maia.

One of the Slytherins looked at Cham, "You think he'll let us borrow his robes to put out the fire?"

Cham scowled, "It's not like they aren't coming off soon anyway."

The student laughed nervously and scurried away because Cham looked like she was going to smack him. She stepped forward angrily, pointing her wand at the fire, "Wet!" she cried, a wave of water crashing into the common room, getting everyone except her wet. The Slytherins all stared at her through moppy hair, as if she was a genius. She glared at them and squelched across the wet floor where she attempted to restart the fire in the fireplace.

After the fifth failure, she threw down her wand in frustration, "I hate fire!" She screamed in Malfoy's face (he had come over to have a try). "I hate flames, I hate heat…I hate dragons…I hate Maia!" She slumped angrily into a chair, refusing to fume because fuming was too much like fire.

Malfoy lit the fireplace in one try, and he was rewarded with a sharp kick in the side by Cham. He glared at her, which caused her to tackle him and beat him up. She gave him a final punch and got up, stalking out of the room. She wandered the halls until boredom overcame her and she returned.

The common room had gotten warmer—though it was still damp—by the time Cham came back, and Maia and Snape had both emerged from the dormitory. Malfoy was moping in a chair nearby, depressed because Cham was depressed.

Cham flopped down into a chair and sat there sulking, making sure she was in plain view of Maia, hoping her friend would feel guilty and apologize. Maia, who was less distracted than her counterpart (whose mind and hands were elsewhere) looked very guiltily at her friend, but she adamantly refused to apologize for snapping at Cham.

It was only when Cham began clearing her throat noisily that Maia finally addressed her friend. "You know what, Cham? I'm just going to ignore you. In fact, I'm leaving right now!" Maia got up and stalked out of the room.

Snape stood, "Charm, if you just endangered her, I will hang you from the topmost spire of this school with your own viscera."

Cham's eyes went wide as he left. She asked Malfoy quietly, "What's a viscera?"

Snape followed Maia quickly, just to make sure she stayed out of trouble. It seemed trouble wanted to find her, though, because she stopped in front of a curious looking door and moved toward it.

"Forthe! Don't—" his warning went unheeded and he found that the only the thing to do was follow her.

Desert. He hated sand.

She cursed loudly, stamping her foot in the sand, "Fizzlestickers! This is **not** what I meant it to be!"

"Oh? You **know** about the Room of Requirement? Is there something you haven't been telling me?"

"No," she replied sullenly, "I only know about it because Cham was a dork and showed it to me a while ago. It turned into a really big storage room place…I found some interesting things…but why is it a desert this time?"

"It's broken. If you would listen when Dumbledore gives announcements, you would know that."

"You know I don't listen because Cham distracts me the entire time…" she looked around, "Now how do we get out of here?" She realised that the door had disappeared.

"We wait until a door appears," Snape answered coldly, knowing full well that they were stuck.

"That could be ages…I'm thirsty…I need water, at least—"

It was completely by chance that a student brushed past the door at that very moment, thinking about how nice it would be to have a swim in the lake if it weren't raining outside. The change started from the sky, which turned from dusty blue to a dark, shady grey. Mountains appeared slowly, and the forest crept in around them. Suddenly the sand gave way and was replaced by dark icy blue water, which happened to be freezing cold. And it was raining.

"Curse you and your bloody water, Forthe!" Snape grabbed her arm and threw it over his shoulder, trying to stay above water. He couldn't reach his wand unless he dropped Maia, and she didn't seem capable of swimming.

Fortunately, there was an island nearby, and—though it seemed hours before they reached it—they made it alive. Maia had swallowed quite a bit of water, and she lay prostrate on the wet dirt, not caring that pine needles were stabbing her in the back. She gasped for breath—only once before had she been in water so cold that it stole her breath—and it hadn't been an enjoyable experience. It was still raining, but Maia barely felt the stinging drops on her numbed face. Her fingers were so cold that they had started to turn purple, and her nose was beginning to follow suit. With all her blue hair scattered around her head like a halo, she looked like a stranded mermaid (although her clothing was not so revealing).

Snape leaned over her, water dripping from the tip of his nose onto her face as he felt her forehead and listened to her breathing. She wasn't well. He had at least been able to stay warm by swimming. And anyway, everybody knew that dragons didn't like cold water.

"I'm c-cold…" She complained in a faint voice.

"Really? That's astonishing news," he replied dryly.

Maia was about to respond with one of her many sarcastic remarks, but Snape had started to undo the buttons of her shirt. "What are you doing? I'm cold! This is not—"

"Do you **want** hypothermia?"

"No."

"Then don't complain. Wet clothes aren't going to solve anything."

It was at that moment that Cham opened the door. "Maia! There you are!" Cham stepped out and slammed the door, which promptly disappeared upon closing.

"You idiot! You **closed **the door!" Maia shouted (of course, in her weakened state, it wasn't much louder than a whisper).

Cham shrugged, "Sorry. I didn't know you wanted out."

The surroundings suddenly changed again. The lake's shoreline receded and was replaced by a building, a very large building that built itself, stone by stone.

"Impossible," Snape murmured.

"Hogwarts!" Cham exclaimed happily. "We escaped!"

"No…we're still in the room," Snape replied.

"This is creepy," Maia whispered from her place on the ground.

"Should we try to go inside? Maybe if we go through the Room of Requirement door we will be able to get out of here."

"Charm, in a very twisted way, that actually made sense." Snape shrugged, helping Maia up and letting her lean against his shoulder, "It's worth a try."

They had just reached the entrance hall, however, when the world changed once more. However, it was indoors this time, and stone walls suddenly sprouted up around them, including furnishings and—to Maia's great happiness—a bed. She stumbled over to it and collapsed. She fell short, just barely close enough to grab the blanket from it as she sunk down. She was unconscious before she hit the ground.

Cham nudged her with a foot, and was shoved away by Snape, who set Maia down on the bed. He tucked the blanket in around her and brushed her hair out of her face. Her lips were still the same colour as her hair, and her face deathly white. She hadn't gotten over the effect of the icy water. He touched her forehead with the end of his wand, murmuring softly, and closed his eyes in concentration. A silvery film enveloped her prostrate form, and the professor rose, a little reluctantly, warning Cham, "Don't touch her. If I see you near her I will hang you from the top spire of the school by your own viscera." (This was his most recent favourite threat to use on Cham).

"What?"

"I will **kill** you."

"Oh…" she meditated on this for a moment, staring at the door. "Um, Professor," she suddenly stated, "shouldn't we leave while the door's still there?"

"Door?" He glanced up from Maia.

"I mean, we don't want to be stuck in here forever, do we?"

"No we don't," he threw Maia, a bit roughly, over his shoulder and opened the door, shoving Cham out, "Out, Charm."

"You know," Cham stated as they exited into the** real** Hogwarts, "Maia's still glowing."

"Yes Charm, I know. Right now that is all that is keeping her from going into shock…or **worse**, a coma."

"Don't you mean a comma?"

He stopped walking and turned to look at Cham, an expression of disbelief quite readable on his normally inexpressive face, "No, Charm, not a comma, a **coma**."

"What's that?"

He sighed, "An extremely long sleep."

"Like hibernation!" Cham exclaimed in understanding.

"No; like unconsciousness."

"Oh, so it's a **bad** thing."

"Yes, Charm. Especially since I will kill you if she dies." He paused, continuing toward the infirmary as he added, "Make yourself useful. Go tell Madam Pomfrey I have an injured student. And mention one word of the Room of Requirement and I'll—"

"Hang me from the highest spire of Hogwarts with my own plethora—I know!" Cham answered as she scurried off.

Snape just groaned.

Madam Pomfrey had already prepared for them and was not surprised to see who her patient was, "What happened this time?"

Snape replied smoothly, "She fancied a swim in the lake. She would have drowned had I not happened to see her."

Madam Pomfrey sighed exasperatedly, "Why did the headmaster allow Americans inside this building?"

The professor smiled slightly, but the comment went far over Cham's head. "I don't get it."

Snape suddenly seemed to remember her, and he ordered, "Charm, this is no place for you to be. Go to your dormitory before you cause more mayhem."

"But I…I…" Cham found it extremely unfair of him to send her away after she'd just 'saved' them.

"Go," he smirked, glancing with an indeterminable expression at Maia, adding, "I'll make sure your friend is fine."

Cham gave him an icy glare and stomped off.

Madam Pomfrey began removing Maia's drenched clothing, but not until after she had ordered Snape to turn around. "Poor girl," the woman said, "she's so cold. Fortunately she had you there to perform that thawing spell."

Turning back around, Snape sat beside Maia as Madam Pomfrey left to retrieve more blankets. He touched her face, noticing that the spell was beginning to wear off. Her eyes, which had been previously closed, opened slightly and focused tiredly on him. She produced a half-smile that looked more like a grimace, and whispered, "Professor?"

He tensed up, "Severus."

Her smile broadened slightly, but she didn't speak, her eyes drooping wearily. Madam Pomfrey soon returned with more blankets and a small vial. She was about to administer the potion when a small herd of students burst in, demanding her immediate attention. Muttering, "Must be another broken arm," she handed Snape the vial, "Here, give her this. It should help with the shock. You know the procedure."

He nodded in understanding and did as she had told him. Maia didn't struggle at all, which was in itself a bad sign, considering that she usually fought tooth and claw (and wand) when she had to drink a funny tasting potion. Immediately afterwards, every muscle in her frame went limp and her eyes closed completely. The only motion discernable was the slow, shallow movement of her chest, and the occasional twitch in her hand. Otherwise, she remained pale and blue, like a ghost.

Once more, Cham interrupted his thoughts, "I know you sent me to my room, but as I was walking, I just happened to think: why is it that Americans always say 'righteous' and the British always say 'wicked?'"

He didn't bother to answer, "Charm, go to your dormitory and **stay** there."

She gave him a sour look, "Fine. Be a mean piece of dirty poop!"

He raised an eyebrow, "As opposed to a clean one?"

"Yes," Cham answered defiantly, leaving angrily.

Perhaps an hour later, at about eight in the evening, Madam Pomfrey checked Maia for temperature, pulse, and CHAMS (Current Health and Magical State). Snape groaned, already unable to stop worrying about his mental stability: now he couldn't get Cham out of his mind!

Madame Pomfrey soon declared Maia on the way to recovery, and stated, "It's safe to take her to her room, I believe. She'll need constant supervision, though, for the next day at least."

Snape nodded, "Good." He could stand Maia, not Cham, but Maia was fine.

X…X

Maia woke up late in the night, bundled in several blankets and nestled in somebody's arms. She was still chilled and her fingers a little numb (not to mention her runny nose), but otherwise she was all right. Maia must have rustled around a little too much, because she felt somebody kiss her neck, and their grip around her tightened.

—_Sirius_—who else would kiss her so gently? She felt a sudden elation: he wasn't dead! It had all been a bad dream! She hurriedly kissed the man, embracing him in a death grip, not caring that Sirius had never kissed her because he had died just after the first time he had ever held her hand. Logic didn't matter when the man she loved was kissing her.

A deep, growling sort of chuckle forewarned her—no, not Sirius but somebody else. Her spirits sunk as fast as they had risen. But **who** else could it be? A bony hand with long, pale fingers ran through her hair. Voldemort? Nah, maybe someone a little bit like him. She cursed at herself; everything seemed so foggy and hazy: she was too groggy because of Madame Pomfrey's potion. Hmmm. **That** rung a bell. Yes, it had to be **him**. Professor Severus Snape.

"Mmm," he gave a deep-throated chuckle, "Good—it didn't take you as long as I expected," he murmured quietly in her ear.

"Why—why am I here? I thought—"

He put a finger to her lips, "You weren't a complete disaster. Madame Pomfrey had you put right rather quickly." He rolled her onto her back, kissing her languorously, "Now will you be content and sit still?"

She promptly responded, "Maybe."

He rolled his eyes, knowing full well how easy it was to please her. Running a thumb over her throat, he tickled the back or her neck with his other fingers and whispered into her ear, "Good enough?"

She twisted her head to one side, giving him more access to her neck, all the while cursing (and yet thanking) whatever ancestry had given her the dragon-like trait of a sensitive throat. Snape suddenly stopped, leaning back and reminding himself that she was still weak and sore—not to mention her skin was cool to the touch—whereas normally it was hot, her temperature hovering around a hundred and ten degrees Fahrenheit.

Maia slept another short period of time before waking up again, shivering. The professor, a little put off at being awakened, touched her forehead and pulled his hand back quickly, "Forthe! You're scalding!"

"Not a fever—" she grumbled, "I **hate** fevers…I always start hallucigenating."

He stood, raising an eyebrow. Perhaps he had something in his stores that would help…aha! Wolfsbane. He grabbed a sprig and returned to Maia, ordering her to chew on it, since he had no time to brew anything that would work any faster. As he predicted, it took effect, returning her to her normal temperature…at least until she swallowed the plant. Needless to say, they were both extremely tired by morning.

Finally deciding that it was pointless to stay in bed, Snape got up, glancing at Maia. "Forthe, you don't look well." He noted most especially her laboured breathing.

"No," she replied weakly, "To be in the well I couldn't be fourth—it would be too crowded after three."

He began to dress, "I think Dumbledore should see you."

"No, no, I'm fine…I haven't done anything bad lately…I don't think…what **have** I done lately?"

"Forthe—I really think…" he sat beside her and felt her forehead with his hand, "You're cold again. What happened to the wolfsbane I gave you?"

"I think I swallowed it," Maia replied, swallowing nervously.

"I didn't tell you to **swallow** it! It's a small wonder you're so slow today." Standing, he instructed, "Just stay there for now. You need to rest."

"Okay," she acquiesced wearily, throwing the blanket over her head and moving up against the wall, nestling herself in a corner. Her breathing became regular again as she fell asleep.


	12. Summer Starts

Because of Maia's condition, Cham didn't see her friend the entire morning, and by lunchtime she was bored. Since OWLs were over, classes were no longer held, and students were free to roam around the grounds, doing whatever they pleased. And with Umbridge finally gone, everybody seemed at the height of happiness—except Cham, who was bored.

Following her first hunch on where to look, Cham slipped past Snape (who was describing the detention he was going to give a first-year Gryffindor student who had punched a Slytherin on 'accident'). The last thing she heard before she sneaked into Snape's office was the unfortunate student: "But Professor, my hand just **slipped**!"

Cham gazed around, finding another door that led to the back room in which Snape kept some of his more scary ingredients and, conveniently, slept. She gazed around her, poking at jars full of pickled impossibilities. She stepped over a few old cauldrons and pushed aside the draping black curtains.

"This is **depressing**," she said out loud as she entered the bedroom. "I bet he's a vampire," she whispered, catching sight of a goblet lying harmlessly on a table. She grabbed it and stared at the crimson liquid inside, "Ha!" She smelled it; it smelled like pumpkin juice. "Pumpkin juice my butt, I bet this is **blood**."

A giggle from the bed made Cham whirl around, she was relieved to see it was only Maia. "Professor Snape isn't a vampire," Maia said as she slowly propped herself up on a pillow. "That is a potion he had me drink to help with my headache, and anyway, my teeth are **way** sharper than his."

Cham didn't bother asking how Maia knew this. She glomphed (for lack of a better word) onto the bed, making Maia wince. "You're alive!" She was about to envelope her in a hug, but she paused, "You're not a vampire, are you?"

"Unless dragons are vampires then no, I'm just ordinary dragon-girl," said Maia, edging away from her friend, still feeling too weak to bear one of Cham's hugs.

Cham laughed, seeming to have forgotten about the hug, fortunately, "Maia…the vampire dragon," she said, spreading her hands before her as if seeing the words in lights. "The subtitle can be 'Don't bother with garlic, she'll crisp you with her fire and **then** suck your blood!'"

"Planning on writing a book on me, Cham?" Teased Maia

"There already is," Cham said mysteriously.

Cham was interrupted because Snape entered, catching sight of her. "What are you doing in here, Charm? I told you not to disturb Forthe. Or do you require a reminder?" He raised his eyebrows.

Cham jumped and raced out of the room, a stream of curses following. Her words were so foul that some of the glass jars shattered, and Maia was sure the air turned a little green. Snape grimaced, "Not the wine…" but he let Cham go without punishment. He was in a bit of a good mood after deducting a hundred house points from Gryffindor, since the first-year had let his hand 'slip accidentally' into Snape's nose.

X…X

Within a couple of days, Maia felt much better, except the shouting Cham was doing in her ear as they did last minute packing after Dumbledore's farewell speech.

"Last day of school! Last day of school! Last day of school! Of day school last!" Succeeding in stuffing everything into her trunk, she took on the more difficult task of closing it. She sat on it, but the lid only popped back open and she tumbled off. "Maia, help me close my trunk!" She whined.

Maia growled, having folded everything neatly and tucked her belongings away in her trunk. "Fine," she dragonized (a cool word that means turned into a dragon), crowding the entire room as she put a heavy claw on the trunk, holding it until Cham snapped it shut, sealing it with a charm, just in case.

Maia undragonized with a long-suffering sigh. "Well," she said, dusting off her hands. "All that leaves are our leaves of absence."

"What?"

"The letters explaining why we cannot come home," Maia explained. Several people had told her that she couldn't go home. Ever. One: she was a dragon and needed to be kept under ministry and school surveillance. Two: Voldemort wanted her nearby, at his disposal. Three: Snape refused to meet her adopted parents.

"Oh…okay." Cham followed Maia into the common room, where they each grabbed a piece of parchment and started writing.

Cham's read:

Hello parents! I will not be joining you over the period I enjoy terming summer. I will be in training to become an better magic person. Goodbye!

-Chamm

On the other hand, Maia (disallowed from making any contact with her adopted parents ever again) had written the following with a very sardonic attitude, enchanting it to make it look as though it had been typed:

Dear Parent(s)/Guardian(s): We are sorry to inform you that your son/daughter Maiawen Forthe has passed away. His/her things will not be returned. If you have any questions please hesitate to ask.

--Albus Bumbledore

Maia had to beg Cham to forge Dumbledore's signature, since she was sure her parents would recognize her handwriting.

"But I don't know how to spell it!" Cham complained.

Maia thrust the paper under Cham's nose and stuffed a quill in her hand, "I'll tell you how!"

Cham grumbled and poised the quill over the paper, "Fine."

"Good. B-U-M-B-L-E-D-O-R-E," Maia spelled out. "Oh, and don't forget A-L-B-U-S either." She grabbed the paper from Cham and glanced at it when she was done. "Cool…hey, wait! I was just kidding about the 'B!' That should have been obvious!"

Cham looked over her shoulder at the paper, "So it's supposed to be 'Bumbledore?'"

Maia huffed and put the parchment up to Cham's face so close that the capital "B" was all she could see. "It's Dumbledore, not Bumbledore—I was just kidding!"

"Oh, okay, let me fix it."

Maia yanked the paper away from her, "No, stupid, that would look dumb! We'll just have to hope my parents don't notice that bit."

"They're muggles anyway," said a voice behind the girls, and they whirled around to face Snape, who continued, "They don't know who Dumbledore is."

"Don't sneak up on us like that!" snapped Maia, clutching her hand to her chest.

"Only vampires can be that quiet," whispered Cham with wide eyes. And then, because school was almost out and the tension was driving her **more** insane, she shrieked, "You're a vampire!" She looked wildly around the room, grabbed a piece of garlic from her pocket, and chucked it at Snape.

It bounced off his head harmlessly.

He glared at her, "I would give you detention, Charm, but I know you would drive me mad."

Maia cast Cham a jealous glance, "Lucky."

Snape interrupted them, "Hurry up. You should be getting down to Hogsmeade. I'll deal with these," he took the letters from them, calling after them as they began to leave, "Don't get on the train! Just wait for me by the gate!" He paused, "Oh, and Charm, find Draco. He's supposed to come too."

"Why aren't we getting on the train?" Cham asked Maia.

"Because, Snape's gonna disapparate us to Knocturne Alley where we'll meet Malfoy's uncle, Lucifer."

"Lucifer?" Cham gave Maia a wide-eyed stare.

"Well the name was **bound** to show up **somewhere** in their family."

"Why are we meeting him?"

"Lucius got arrested," Maia sniggered, "I knew it would happen. He's such a butt."

Cham nodded, "Yeah, good thing it didn't rub off onto Malfoy."

It was Maia's turn to stare at Cham. "You're mental," she affirmed as they came to the gate.

"But I thought I was Cham!" Cham wailed.

Maia was saved a reply when Malfoy walked up to them, "So you're meeting Snape here too? Where is he? Been waiting for at least five minutes."

Maia just looked at him, "He's taking care of a few things. He can't baby-sit you all the time."

Malfoy was about to respond, but Cham started chattering away. "Yay! School is over! Are you going to miss it? I'm not going to miss it. We'll be back next year anyway. Oh…hey, Maia?"

"What?" Maia replied dubiously, recognizing Cham's curious voice: the voice that always led to trouble.

"Well, no one is going to be here during the summer, right?"

Maia looked warily at her, "I suppose so."

"So, it's almost like Hogwarts doesn't exist, doesn't it?"

Maia's reply was cut off by an extremely loud popping noise and a whoosh of air. Students turned to look back at the place they had been so eager to leave moments before, only to find it was gone, leaving a large piece of land that was dark and sunken in.

"CHAM!" Maia shrieked, shaking her friend, who had gone into shock. "How could you?!"

"I…don't know…" Cham whispered, "How…could I?" She blinked a couple of times and then said, "Oh crap."

"'Oh crap' doesn't **begin** to cover it!" Screamed Maia.

"Oh…um…oh faeces?"

"NO!"

"Uh…"

"Silence, Charm, before you make things worse," Snape, who had just approached, seemed to automatically know that Cham had done it.

"How could things be worse?" Maia groaned, putting her head in her hands.

"It could be…it could be raining," Cham offered.

The sky abruptly erupted into thunder, and clouds crowded overhead. Within a few moments, everyone was drenched.

"CHAM!"

"…oops…"

"You DUNDERHEAD!!!" Maia bellowed.

Cham shook her finger at Maia, "You know, I'm getting tired of being yelled at. You should stop."

"YOU SHOULD STOP DOING THINGS THAT MAKE ME YELL AT YOU!!!!"

Snape put his hands on Maia's shoulders, "It's alright, Forthe. Stupidity isn't anything you can help."

"Yeah, Maia, thanks for trying anyway." Cham shrugged, "I guess you were just born to be stupid."

Maia would have tackled Cham and beat her up, but Snape—with much pleasure—put his arms around her waist, "Don't do it, Forthe. She'll be gone for six weeks. Just keep that in mind."

"But…I'm not going with Cham?" Maia stopped struggling to get free.

"**You**, are coming with **me**. Charm is going with Lucifer. You are both desperately in need of training…separate training."

Maia scoffed, "What are **you** going to teach me? How not to bother Voldemort?"

Snape raised an eyebrow, "Something like that." He pulled her closer, "I **could** teach you a few **other** things if you wished."

Maia's eyes widened with realization, "Oh…ooohhh."

Cham was left in the dark this time, "Like what? What? Tell me! Somebody enliven me!"

Maia just laughed and Snape, who most definitely did not answer, smirked and looked at Maia. He absently replied, "I believe you mean 'enlighten' Charm."

"Whatever!"

Snape decided it was time to go, muttering, "We had better leave before somebody else realizes this is all Charm's fault and tries to keep her here…although the idea does sound attractive."

Maia realized then just how much she hated disapparating. It felt like she was travelling through a teeny tiny pipe at ninety miles per hour. The whole experience was very uncomfortable, and when they appeared in Knocturne Alley she wobbled unsteadily on her legs, trying to see straight.

Cham noticed Lucifer, exclaiming, "Look! That must be him!" She dragged Malfoy by the collar, racing up to the sneering blonde man.

Maia and Snape cast dubious looks at each other. "I think we should go before he begs me to trade." He took her by the waist, "Hold on…"

Cham, on the other hand, was following Lucifer and Malfoy down the street (Lucifer had to stop at a few places), when she spotted a book lying in a puddle. She picked it up, reading "How to Become an Animagus in Five Easy Steps." Staring at it thoughtfully, she stashed it under her shirt and ran to catch up with Malfoy and his uncle.

Meanwhile, Maia grimaced and braced herself, not daring to open her eyes until Snape attempted to remove the frightened girl from around his waist. She clung on tightly, "N-no…I **hate** disapparating! I won't let go until it's over!"

"Forthe—it's over!"

She cautiously opened an eye, glancing around. They stood in front of a tiny old house, squeezed between two others just like it. The sky was grey, but here it seemed to always be grey; the old dilapidated smokestack looming nearby attested to that. Maia glanced from the cheerless little brick house to Snape, whose eyes narrowed when he saw her questioning look.

"I didn't **ask** to be a teacher," he grumbled, muttering something under his breath. Maia distinctly caught the words "…underpaid…**over**worked…" as he rummaged in a pocket for the key.

The door opened before he could even put the key in the lock, and he jumped back, only to glare at the mysterious occupant when he realized who it was.

"Hey, look Professor! It's rat-man!" She had obviously met Wormtail when Voldemort locked her in the Riddle House.

"So it is," Snape said through gritted teeth. "What are you doing here?"

"H-his L-lordship sent m-me to h-help you…sir." Wormtail cowered, moving quickly out of the way as Snape brushed bad-temperedly past him. He squeaked and recoiled from Maia as if she had a dreadful plague.

She grinned evilly and jumped at him, "Rawr!" Baring her hands like claws, she laughed when he leapt backward.

"Stop playing with your food, dragon-girl," Snape called back lazily as he removed his cloak, hanging it up.

"F—food?" Wormtail repeated in a terrified bleat.

"Oh, do shut up. She isn't going to eat you."

"Yeah, and I don't even bite that much!" Maia added enthusiastically.

"Forthe, stop terrorizing that poor pathetic little man…you're things are in the bedroom—over there—go find something else to do." He absently waved her away as he examined a pile of dusty old books. "Forgot to put these up," he murmured to himself.

Maia pulled a face at Snape while he was turned away and waltzed past Wormtail, who eyed her nervously. She couldn't resist the impulse to scare him once more, despite Snape's orders, and she crept up behind him, screaming right in his ear, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE—IT'S A WILD DRAGON!"

Wormtail leaped into the air, screaming shrilly, "Get it off me, get it off me!" Maia pointed her wand at one of Snape's books, making it chase Wormtail around the room. She couldn't stop laughing, watching as Wormtail scurried for the bookshelf, running into it before he realized he couldn't walk through things.

"Really, Wormtail, do try to be more careful," Snape said dryly, waving his wand at the bookshelf, which promptly moved, revealing a staircase. "There; you seem to have taken a liking to that room, so you can stay there."

Wormtail scrabbled his way up the stairs, disappearing as Snape returned the bookshelf to its proper resting place. The book stopped flapping around, waiting patiently for Wormtail to reappear.

Maia was lying on the floor, clutching her sides and wiping a tear from her eye. She stopped laughing, however, when Snape stood over her, planting a foot on either side of her torso and trapping her.

He glared down at her, but merely stated in a soft voice, "Now Forthe, that wasn't very nice."

Maia bit her lip, "But it was funny…" He didn't smile, "Oh, come on!" She protested, "It's so easy to tease him; he's just so **jumpy**."

He nodded, "Yes, he isn't a very good Death Eater, is he." Snape stepped to the side, allowing Maia to get up. "But you shouldn't make a habit out of doing that. He's still useful, and the dark lord would be very put-out if you gave Wormtail a heart-attack."

Maia grudgingly agreed.

"Now go unpack your things. I have important business to attend to."

Maia trudged to the bedroom and over to her trunk, which she kicked. It unlatched and came open. She dug through it and pulled out an overstuffed notebook. Papers threatened to overflow as she opened it, attempting to locate a clean sheet. She finally found one and summoned a pencil, scratching a rough sketch on the paper. Snape entered a few minutes later, only to be met with a recreation of Wormtail being chased by the enchanted book. He had to hide a smile as Wormtail came in, whining and bleating as the book snapped at his heels.

"Wormtail, get out."

"Get it away from me!" Wormtail cried as the book bounced and bit him on the rear end.

Snape pointed his wand at it; there was a flash of light and the book fell harmlessly to the ground. "There. Happy?" He didn't wait for an answer, "Now get out." Shoving Wormtail out the door, he closed and locked it behind him. Leaning against it, Snape muttered, "You are going to be more trouble here than you are at school, aren't you?"

Maia merely responded, "I think I'll call him Whiny-man. What do you think?"

It was then that Snape realized that he was completely out of alcoholic substance. He groaned and opened the door, "Wormtail!"

Wormtail scurried back, "Yes sir?"

"Wine, mead, I don't care, just get some…on second though, get a **lot**."

Wormtail cast a worried glance in Maia's direction, "Is she really that bad?"

"Worse—go."


	13. Limericks and Lessons

"_Fish swim in the sea_

_and are eaten by you and me._

_Oh! Then we get sick,_

_yes really quick_

_when we're poisoned by mercury_."

Fortunately, Snape had a way with words…and potions. Maia had already been the source of several experimental findings, including what a dragon does after drinking a _Pyro Envigorus_ potion (the results included Maia being drenched with water after bursting into flame). Unfortunately, she insisted that he let her read her limericks out loud to him if he was going to perform experiments on her. The one she had just read to him was one of her better ones, and she had written it just after bursting spontaneously into flame. He was lucky that she was half-dragon, or she would have been burnt to a crisp in seconds. Of course, being half-dragon, she had a temper to match, and she threatened to turn **him** into a burnt crisp if he didn't cut it out with the potions. He replied by threatening to burn all her limericks. That shut her up quite effectively.

She stalked outside into the back yard, muttering something about dying grass. Within a week—she had turned it into a jungle. It wasn't extremely large, but it **was** extremely green; even overgrown. Vines crawled everywhere, flowers (most of them cross-bred) sprouted from every crevasse, and Maia's grass looked perfectly healthy. It was at least ankle-high and very green, soft, and (as Maia called it) fluffy. Snape had complained that the neighbours would wonder why he was growing big pink flowers, but Maia had told him that everything but the grass was useful in potion-making. The complaints ended rather abruptly.

She smiled serenely and flopped down on her grass. She sat up momentarily wiggling her toes in the soft grass, asking, "Aren't you going to sit, Professor?"

"No; I'd rather not get dirty—"

"Are you insulting my grass?" Maia asked dangerously.

"No, it's just…er…" he gave up and quickly sat down beside her. There were some things even he didn't dare say.

Maia smiled pleasantly and scooted closer to him. She turned and kissed him, giggling, and pushed him over, lying on top of him. Planting (ha ha, they're in a garden…planting…right…bad joke) a kiss on his mouth, her hands were already at the buttons of his shirt when Wormtail appeared, "Um, sir, I—eep! I see this is a bad time—"

Snape sat up and hissed angrily, "You **think**? No, how could I have been so stupid—you obviously **don't** think!"

Maia glared at Wormtail, and it almost seemed her grass glared as well.

"I'm sorry!" The man whined.

"Shut up, Whiny-man!" She growled, "You aren't at all sorry."

Snape glanced at Maia, "Whiny-man?"

"Yes," she said defiantly, "He **is** whiny. Otherwise I'd call him 'Not-so-whiny-man,' duh."

He ignored her, turning to Wormtail and asking, "Did you put the dragonsbane in yet?"

"Eep!" Maia squealed and jumped into his lap, clutching his shirt tightly, "You **know** I'm allergic!"

"Calm down, Forthe. You aren't anywhere near it, and it isn't going to come after you."

"Um, actually…" Wormtail pulled out a sprig of purplish leaves from behind his back, "I was going to ask you how much to put—iiinnn!" He screeched, blown backward by the force of Maia's sneeze (since she had panicked and dragonized at the sight of the deadly plant).

"Eew!" he exclaimed, covered in dragon snot.

"Don't touch anything, Wormtail!" Snape ordered.

"Why?" He seemed worried, "Will it kill me?"

"No, but it's an extremely rare ingredient in potion making. I could use this," he summoned a jar and transferred some of the iridescent phlegm from Wormtail to the jar with his wand.

Maia cocked her head to one side, "I could always sneeze again if—"

Both men exclaimed at once, "No!" Snape continued, "That's enough dragon phlegm for one day."

"Well, at least it's prettier than ordinary snot." Maia shrugged, changing back. She glanced at the slimy Wormtail, "At least it's not troll boogers."

"What?"

"Oh, right, you're British. I meant troll bogies."

Wormtail took a few moments to process that image, suddenly leaping up, running around and shouting, "Eew, eew, eew!"

Snape just rubbed his temples and sighed wearily.

Maia gave chase to Wormtail, yelling angrily, "Stop! Stop running you idiot—you're squashing my grass!"

"Stop chasing me!"

"I will when you stop running!"

Finally, Wormtail fainted and Maia stopped, kneeling and panting on the grass. She put her ear to the grass and smiled.

"What are you smiling about, Forthe?"

"I'm listening to the grass."

"Why?"

"It's funny…can't you hear it?" She started repeating, "Growgrowgrowgrow growgrowgrowgrowgrow…" She paused and suddenly shouted, "Wormtail!"

The man jumped, "I didn't do anything!"

"I know…I was just seeing what the grass had to say about you."

"Oh? What did it say?" He asked with genuine interest.

"A lot of bad things I refuse to repeat," she replied coolly. "Poor grass…yes, I'm sorry the whiny man trampled you."

Snape rolled his eyes when Maia started petting the grass gently. Turning to Wormtail, he yanked the soggy dragonsbane from his hand, "Since you are so inept at potion brewing, I will let **you** teach Forthe."

"But **sir**!" He protested in a terrified squeak, "I don't know anything about Proteus!'"

"You're an animagus, aren't you? Well then, that's close enough."

"But—"

"That is **final**, Wormtail!"

In a vain attempt to change the subject, he stated, "Why do you always call me 'Wormtail?' Can't it be 'Peter?' Or 'Pettigrew,' at least?"

"Would you prefer 'Whiny-man?'" He asked icily, shooting Maia a glance.

"No, 'Wormtail's' fine."

"Good. Now start training," Snape left.

Wormtail whined sadly.

"What are we doing, what are we doing, what are we—" Maia bounced around eagerly.

"Stop!" Wormtail said in a squeaky voice.

Maia stood still for about five seconds. "Can I move now?"

"No. So…er…how experienced are you?"

Maia shrugged, "I don't know. I only found out about it this year."

"Can you change whenever you want?"

"Most of the time," Maia nodded.

"Alright, why don't you show me—no, wait!"

Maia had changed. She looked big and scary—very scary. "Why are we doing this?"

"Because to g-get into h-higher level tran-transformations, you n-need to know the b-basics."

"What are higher level transformations?"

"Maintaining your form for long periods of time—er—learning to associate with others of the same species…um…Snape said that you could probably even become other animals…said something like 'Proteus blood'…"

"Ooh, cool!"

"But not for a while! It took years for the last Proteus to learn how to do that."

Maia groaned disappointedly. "Remind me again why we are doing this?"

"B-because I said so. Now concentrate: I w-want you to change back…good."

He breathed a sigh of relief once she was human again. "We'll start by—er—um, we can start with technique. I want you to be able to change in less than five seconds. You're going to have to concentrate…"

Maia groaned, changing to and from a dragon in three seconds. "I have that part down."

"Okay, but let's try it again."

"Why?"

"Because you're still bad at it."

"Why?"

"Because you haven't practised enough."

"Why?"

"Because I haven't told you to yet."

"Why?"

"Because the lesson isn't over!"

"Why?"

"Because you need to learn first!"

"Why?"

"Because you're bad at it!"

"Why?"

"Because…I already answered that!"

"Why?"

"Because…argh…I don't see how Snape does this!"

"Why?"

"Because you keep asking why!"

"Why?"

"I don't know…Maybe you're confused!"

"Why?"

"I don't know! You're confusing **me**!"

"Why?"

"AAAAUUUGH!"

Snape came out, interrupting, "What is going on?"

"This—this—**thing** is driving me mad! Please don't make me stay out here with her! I can't take it any longer!"

Snape grabbed Wormtail around the throat, quite effectively shutting him up. "Let **me** tell you something about 'mad,' Wormtail. 'Mad' is drinking _Amoris Nonfinis_, and **looking** at her. 'Mad' is watching her friend drop the antidote to that potion. 'Mad' is realizing that the potion has worn off and that you really do love the damned girl who is standing over there!" His face was very close to Wormtail's and his teeth were bared.

"Oh," said Wormtail in a very small voice.

Maia was oblivious to the entire altercation until she heard the last sentence, which Snape had emphasized rather loudly. "You do?" She asked quietly.

"Yes!" He snapped at her, "I **do**!"

"Really? You sound a little angry." She paused, "So…you don't hate me?"

He gave her a look of disbelief, seizing her around the waist. "Merlin's beard—what gave you that idea?"

"Well…you always yell at me, and get impatient, and I…just…" She let him kiss her.

Wormtail didn't have the dignity to turn around or even stop them—he just stared in open-mouthed horror, and amazement. Finally, he spoke in a feeble voice, "What twisted and cruel being sparked feelings in **your** heart?" Wormtail asked Snape in awe.

He cast the cringing man a sour look, then snorted humorously, "Well actually…it all started with **her**." He indicated Maia.

"You? You wanted **him**?"

Maia shrugged, "No, not at first…but he's alright once you get past his temper and his twisted sense of humour."

"Twisted?" Snape gave her a questioning look.

"Yeah. You need a definition?"

"I know what it means…I do **not** have a twisted sense of humour."

Maia answered coolly, "_Pyro Envigorus_."

"That was an experiment, it had nothing to do with humour."

"Then tell me why you were laughing." She folded her arms over her chest and waited expectantly.

"That was an added benefit."

Maia just huffed. "Whatever. Now can I go inside?"

Snape nodded, glancing at the terrified Wormtail, "Yes."


	14. Yorkshire Yankees

Wormtail's lessons did not improve over the course of the next few weeks. Maia could not resist the urge to tease Wormtail, who made it so easy to do, and she always ended up scaring him so much that he would run into the house and hide behind Snape. Every time Maia followed him, she would come face to face with an irate professor and the goonie hiding behind him.

There was no alteration in this pattern one overcast Friday in the middle of July (or maybe it was a Saturday…)

Maia had just chased Wormtail into the house, only to meet Snape in a very unhappy mood.

"Forthe—" he pointed to a chair.

She sat.

Wormtail was directed to a chair in the same fashion, and they were all three sitting around the table before long. Snape levitated a copper cauldron from atop the table and summoned himself a drink. "You two have been giving me a headache for the past **hour**." He stated, taking a long draw from the glass.

"It's all his fault," Maia blamed Wormtail, "for being such a weenie."

Snape set down his glass and turned to Wormtail, "Come now, Wormtail, is she really all that scary?"

Wormtail stared at Maia with big eyes and nodded the affirmative.

Snape turned back to Maia, who was smiling with satisfaction, holding an empty glass.

"Wow I was thirsty—" she hiccupped, flames momentarily licking her lips, "Boy that was good pumpkin juice!"

Snape took the glass from her, "Give me that!" He glanced in it to make sure there was none left before pouring himself another glass, "That's disgusting, Forthe. And it wasn't pumpkin juice. It was rum."

"Rum…" she giggled, "It makes me feel funny." She reached for the bottle, but he pulled it out of reach.

"No," he stated firmly.

"Please?"

"You have already had **more** than enough." He sighed, "Dragons."

"Hmph…**men**."

"Um…sir, I'm thirsty." Wormtail gave him a pleading look.

Snape glared at him, but summoned another glass, trickling just enough rum into it to cover the bottom.

"Um, sir—"

"What?" Snape's voice had gotten extremely low and threatening.

"Nothing," Wormtail cowered under the professor's glare.

"How come he getsh shome?" Maia complained.

"You did too."

"Yeah, you got more than me," Wormtail whined.

"Shut up," Snape sneered at him.

"Yes sir."

"You two are acting like buzzards," he said to Maia and Wormtail.

"I didn't get very mush."

"Because dragons are extremely sensitive to alcoholic substances!"

"I—hic—am **not**—hic—drunk."

"And you aren't a dragon, are you?" He asked sarcastically.

"Yesh…very persheptive…persh…perce—perch…persheptive…blasht it!" She cursed and slid from her chair, landing on her behind. "Ow." Maia closed her eyes, suddenly laughing hysterically, "D'you know if you closhe your eyesh…but keep your eyeballsh open…you can shee the backsh of your eyelidsh?"

Wormtail, apparently having tried it, exclaimed, "Ooh, am I magic?"

Snape groaned.

At that point, a large barn owl fluttered clumsily into the window, a letter in its beak.

"Ooh, ooh, I'll get it!" Maia tried to get up, but she fell back down three feet later.

Snape got up, "Please, stay still," he requested dryly, "You don't want to kill the owl, do you?"

Maia shrugged.

He let the bird in, taking the letter and opening in. He perused the contents briefly. His face, though not hopeful to begin with, fell even more. His hands crumpled the paper into a tiny ball. "Damn!"

"What? What?! Lemme shee!" Maia reached for the letter, smoothing it out. She read it (with some difficulty since the letters and words kept dancing around the page). "Ooh, look! They're doing the Nutcracker!"

"What?" Snape gave her a confused glance.

"Look, shee, they're—"

"Never mind, Forthe. Just go to bed," Snape growled.

"What'sh wrong with you?" She asked.

"Nothing's wrong with me…it's Voldemort who has the problem."

"Why?"

"There are a couple of Aurors up in London that he wants Lucifer and I to deal with."

"Ooh, I want to come!"

"No!" He snapped quickly.

"Why not?"

"Because you're intoxicated, Forthe! And anyway, it's too dangerous."

"Aww…but I ushed to go there every shummer on vacashun with my parentsh. Hey!" She exclaimed, "They might be there now!"

"All the more reason for you **not** to come."

Maia looked at him in anger (well actually, since her eyes were crossed, she was most likely only glaring at her nose). He ignored her and started to carefully pack various utensils and wizard gadgets into a box.

"What'sh all that shtuff?"

"Important, valuable, **expensive**, breakable—did I mention **expensive**?—things. I'm taking them with me so **you** don't break them when I leave." He looked around, "Wormtail? Where has he gotten to?" He turned to Maia, took her hands and kissed her, "**Please** be good. I'll only be gone for a day or two." He closed the box and went to yell at Wormtail.

Maia looked at the box, then at herself (which wasn't hard considering she was still cross-eyed), then back at the box again. It made her wonder…maybe it was big enough. She dumped everything out and shoved it under a table; maybe none of it had broken and Snape wouldn't notice. She was about to climb in, but she had an idea: running to the table, she grabbed the bottle of rum and **then** got into the trunk, shutting it behind her.

She was just in time: she heard Snape approach and mutter, "Now where's Forthe?" He sighed and tapped the chest with his wand, "_Minimus_." Maia felt all tingly, then nauseous when Snape picked up the tiny box and put it in his pocket. He didn't leave immediately, but stopped outside the bedroom door. Knocking on it, he spoke, "I know you're angry Forthe, but can't you at least say goodbye?" When he received no answer, he sighed and turned away. "Well then—London."

If Maia had thought disapparating normally was gruesome, then doing it while tiny was…just the same…but it **seemed** worse when she was cramped inside a trunk. She was grateful when it was over and she could hear voices again.

"Ah, Severus, how good of you to join us," She heard what must have been Lucifer's voice.

Cham's voice piped up, "Where's Maia?"

"Not here."

"Darn it," Cham said in disappointment.

Maia wanted to shout, "here I am!" but that would have been stupid, and even though she was drunk, she had not descended to Cham's level.

"Is this it?" Cham asked after a few moments, "it's just a dilapiditated old hotel!"

"Exactly. We need to stay undercover. It's best if the Aurors don't know we're wizards." Lucifer paused and then asked, "Do you have everything?"

Snape pulled the trunk out of his pocket, tossing it in the air once, "Right here." He returned it to its resting place.

—_Uh oh_—Maia thought with a sick feeling—_that stuff really **was** important!_—

There was a bit of walking and some murmuring before Maia's trunk was removed once more and set down somewhere. "We can leave it here while we attend to more pressing matters." Lucifer didn't know a very tiny person was thanking him for saying that.

She was soon left all alone again. The box was very hot now, and her leg was painfully cramping up, not to mention her bum was feeling a bit numb. Maia may have been nervous to face them when they realized she had come along, but she wanted fresh air more than anything. —_Well_—she thought—_at least I can reach the rum_—

Fortunately, the Death Eaters returned soon after, and the trunk was changed to regular size again.

Maia was extremely nervous as the latches clicked open –_Oh no, now I'll really get it_—

"What's this?" Lucifer began.

Maia shoved him out of the way, crawling out and taking in gigantic gulps of air.

"FORTHE!" Snape yanked her to her feet by the collar of her shirt, "I told you that you couldn't come!"

"Um…I…"

He caught sight of the empty bottle and ranted, "Damn it, Forthe! Did you drink the **entire** thing?"

"Um…maybe," She smiled a little lopsidedly, "Why do you want to **k**now?" She emphasized the 'k'."

Cham, who had been staring in disbelief, suddenly screeched, "Maia! You **did** come!"

Snape unwillingly dropped Maia to her feet as Cham hugged her, "Against orders," he stated.

"Oh, be quiet." She pushed his shoulder playfully, quite nearly falling over, "You're glad to shee me too."

Cham suddenly stepped back, "So…who gets the beds?"

"You most definitely **don't**!" Snape whirled on Cham, "I'll be keeping an eye on **this** one," he indicated Maia, who was still smiling obliviously, "and—unless Lucifer feels extremely charitable—he gets the other bed…you can have the rug."

She glared at him, "You're mean."

"Somebody has to keep you in check, Charm."

"Did anybody ever notish—Cham'sh name is ChamCharm?" Maia was obviously not paying any attention to the conversation.

"Speaking of bed—" Snape dragged Maia into the other room. He came out, closing (and locking) the door behind him. Lucifer gave him a questioning look, eliciting an explanation, "She had her first experience with a real drink," Snape elucidated.

"Ah. I trust you didn't give it to her on purpose?"

"No," he stated quite firmly.

There was a thud from inside the room, and Snape excused himself, grumbling, "Forthe…why **today** of all days?"

"Nothing'sh wrong, Perfeshor! Nothing at all!" Maia's loud voice floated from the room.

Cham giggled, "Ha ha, she has a lisp now, ha ha!"

Snape ignored Cham (he seemed to be doing it a lot lately) and turned to Lucifer, "I need to go retrieve the things Maia so _conveniently_ left behind."

"You'd better hope none of it's broken," replied Lucifer wryly as Snape vanished.

"What can I do?" Cham whined, tugging at Lucifer's robes. "I'm bored, and you locked Maia away. Now I won't have **any** fun."

Lucifer glared at her, "You said you wanted to come. You could have stayed with Draco. Now that you are here, you are going to stay put and **behave**." He pointed his wand at her head, "Won't you?"

"Of course!"

"Good. I'm going to scout out the area. I'll be back soon." He left faster than Snape had.

"Hey Maia!" Cham called through the door. "What does 'behave' mean?"

"I don't know…shounds familiar, though. Do you think you can you get me out of here?"

"Sure! Got a crowbar?"

Maia glanced around the room, "Umm…" she pulled some chocolate out of her back pocket, "I have a chocolate bar…it'sh kinda melted…ish that good enough?"

"Uh…no. Do you have a hammer?"

"No. Cham—"

"What about a screwdriver?"

"Cham…"

"Do you?"

"No. Hey, Cham—"

"What about explosives?"

"CHAM!"

"WHAT?"

"Ushe your wand!"

"Oh yeah. I was going to ask that next." Cham drew her wand, aimed it at the door, and threw it with all her strength. It clanked off the door and fell harmlessly to the ground. "It didn't work, Maia!"

"Ushe a shpell!"

"Oh, right…what spell?"

"I dunno…try expel…ush…uh…expel…mush…um…wait, it'sh coming…"

"Expelliarmus?"

"Yeah, that."

"How will that open it?"

"Uh…I don't know. You're the one with the wand."

"Stand back!"

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

"Okay!"

Cham waited for a moment and then charged for the door, throwing all her weight against it.

WHUMP

WHUMP

**WHUM**—"ow"—P

"It ishn't working."

"Hmm…" Cham started searching around the room. An idea suddenly fell from the sky and struck her in the head. "Um…Maia?"

"What?"

"Why don't you break down the door?"

"You already tried that. It dinnat work!"

"Dragonize!"

"Oh…" There was a long silence followed by a loud rumbling and a deafening crash. "I'm out!"

Cham coughed and waved away the dust, "Well…not for long. You're in **big** trouble."

Maia changed back quickly, "You—you think? Maybe they won't notish…"

Cham stared at the demolished door nervously. "Maybe…"

"Should we try and fixsh it?"

Cham pulled out a roll of scotch tape from her pocket, "We might as well try."

Maia didn't bother asking why Cham had a roll of tape in her pocket. She probably didn't want to know anyway. Of course, it didn't work. (Did you think it would?)

Maia started scurrying around the room, screaming, "We're out of tape! We are **out** of tape!"

There was a loud popping noise as Snape reappeared.

"Ooh, Perfeshor! Do you have any tape…oh…oh dear…you don't look sho happy…"

He did indeed look very angry. He seemed at a loss for words, but when he did speak it was in a deathly quiet voice. "If you wished to open the door, a simple unlocking charm would have done."

Both Cham and Maia exchanged glances, "Oh yeah…"

"And if you wanted to fix the door, a simple repairing spell **would have been sufficient**!" He particularly emphasized these last four words. He fixed the door without sparing it a glance.

"Um…" Maia began.

"Not a word, Forthe. I'm already angry enough at you."

"But—"

"Forthe—" he growled in a warning tone.

"Perfeshor!"

"_What_?"

"Never mind." She saw his eye twitch dangerously and quickly embraced him, "I love you." She said it like a guilty child to an enraged parent.

"Well you know what I have to say about that, Forthe?" His tone was deceivingly soft, "Get the HELL OFF ME!"

"Eep!" She ran behind Cham, cowering slightly. Shouting at him, "Stop shouting! You're giving me a headache!" Her lisp seemed to be wearing off already. The shouting was sobering her up.

"Good! You _deserve_ it!"

Their argument was interrupted when Lucifer entered the room, pausing for a moment at the chaotic scene before him. He nudged Snape and shook his head slightly, indicating that they should retreat into the other room.

Lucifer looked at the girls as they made their way into the next room, "We need time to plan. You two will stay here, out of trouble."

Snape's glare turned into a sneer, "I doubt saying that will restrain them." He flicked his wand at Cham and Maia, moving them together, back-to-back. He flicked it again and they were suddenly tied with thick ropes.

"What'd you do that for?" Maia asked indignantly.

"Because you can't take care of yourself drunk, and Charm can't take care of herself **ever**." He and Lucifer left before Maia could respond.

"Now what?" She asked Cham, suddenly not feeling her friend against her back anymore. "Cham? Did you escape?"

"Not exactly…" Cham's voice sounded unusually squeaky. "Hey, Maia…am I an eagle?"

Maia craned her neck around, finding that the ropes had loosened a great deal. Cham had turned into **some**thing. Something small. Maia caught sight of Cham and her eyes widened, "No, Cham. You're more like the eagle's dinner."

Cham the hamster stared up at Maia with small, beady black eyes.

"You're a hamster!" Maia cried in delight. She laughed and picked Cham up, stroking the fur that fell in front of her eyes.

"I'm a **what**? Dang book!"

Maia stopped laughing and looked at her friend, "What book?"

"'How to Become an Animagus in Five Easy Steps.' The spell I set up didn't work at first…I guess it's working now." She sounded disappointed.

Maia was now becoming quite sober, and the headache she was beginning to get wasn't leaving her very happy. "Where did you find the book?"

"In Knocturne Alley."

"Well no wonder the spell is messed up! Can you undo it?"

"Well, I kinda burned the book when I got mad that it didn't work…"

"Cham!"

"It isn't my fault! Well, technically—"

"Hey!" Maia got a brilliant idea. "You can go eavesdrop on them now!" She pointed suggestively at the room Snape and Lucifer were in.

"Why can't **you** do it?" Cham asked Maia.

"You're **small**!"

"Oh yeah…"

Maia watched as Cham scuttled off, squeezing under the door. She hid under a table and sat there, listening. They'd only gotten to 'kill them and get it over with' when there was a loud popping noise and an even louder, "Crud!" The table shook as Cham's head banged into it, "Ow!"

"How'd you get in here?" Lucifer asked, as Snape yanked her from under the table.

"I evaporated!"

"Don't you mean apparated?" Snape seemed confused.

"No, silly—that's when water turns into gas and fluffy clouds."

"Alright, for one thing—you're an idiot. For another—"

"Only Maia's allowed to call him 'silly,'" Lucifer interrupted with a snide look.

"Shut up!" Snape growled defensively.

"Well it's true."

Maia looked up as the door opened and Cham was thrown out. Snape followed, calling back to Lucifer, "You plan. I'll sit here and watch the dunderheads."

"I'm not a thunderhead!" Cham protested.

Snape merely raised an eyebrow, sitting Cham down roughly. He glared warningly at her before sitting by Maia.

She was slouched up against the wall, staring pensively into nothingness. Snape groaned inwardly: he knew that look all too well. She looked up and asked, "Have you ever missed somebody so much you thought you would **die**?"

"No, I've never had the opportunity to experience that before," He replied.

There was a long silence. He knew she had to be distracted before she went into a deeper depression.

He took Maia's hand in his, stroking it idly as he spoke, "I know how you feel."

"No you don't. You hated him."

He knew she was thinking about Sirius. "Forthe, you aren't miserable because he's gone. It's just the rum. The alcohol must have accelerated rapidly through your system. You'll be fine in a little while."

"How can you tell me I don't miss Sirius?"

"Because I know you. It's just the rum," he repeated, leaning in and kissing her gently.

Maia believed him.

"Um…Maia? A little help?" Cham's squeaky voice came from behind her.

Maia picked up Cham (aka the Chamster), "Cham! You dolt! Change back!"

"I can't! I don't know how!"

"Then why'd you change **into** an idiotic little Chamster? Ha ha…you're a **Cham**ster!"

"Shut up," Chamster looked as angry as a fluffy little ball could be.

Maia kept laughing.

Snape groaned, "Now I have a Proteus **and** an animagus to deal with."

"Oh be quiet. She's a lot cuter as a Chamster."

He ignored Maia pointedly.

Maia held Chamster happily in her hands, letting her friend figure out her new form.

"So fuzzy…not threatening…stupid book…" Chamster kept muttering.

He watched Maia carefully, observing her. She was still a little sad, that much he could tell even without Legilimency. His thoughts were interrupted, once more, by Chamster.

"Maia I—" like a hiccup, Cham the human suddenly cropped up out of nowhere and restricted Maia's breathing.

"Cham…get off…" She gasped.

"Charm, move! Before Forthe's face turns the colour of her hair!"

Cham looked at Maia's face, "Too late."

"Move!" He yanked her off of Maia, and the unsteady girl fell onto him.

"Professor…I didn't know—you know I'm not going to cheat on Maia with you."

"Get OFF!"

Poor Cham was shoved to the side as the other two assessed themselves (and each other) for damage.

"Cham, I think you broke a rib," Maia groaned as Snape's thumb touched an extremely sore spot on her side.

"No, I feel fine."

"Not you! One of **my** ribs!"

"Oh…" Cham paused, then suddenly, "Don't die! Please don't die! Did I puncture a lung? Are you having trouble breathing? Ohmygosh! Your hair's turning BLUE!"

Lucifer suddenly emerged from the room, interrupting Cham, "I've received word that more Death Eaters have arrived. This assignment will be easy with them…we might as well go meet them."

Snape turned to study Cham and Maia.

"Don't tie me up again!" Maia said quickly.

"Fine, but you have to promise to stay here," he told her.

"I promise."

Snape looked doubtfully at her, finally turning to Lucifer, "Alright. Let's get this over with."

The two men gathered their equipment, glanced at the map, and lectured the girls until Lucifer insisted that they were late. Cham watched them disapparate from her place on the floor, "Maia, I'm bored."

"Let's watch TV!" Maia said with attempted enthusiasm.

The television only captured Cham for a moment. "I'm still bored."

Maia grabbed a paper and pencil, "Here, draw."

Cham drew a wooden plank, "The board is bored too."

Maia looked around frantically. When Cham got bored, bad stuff happened. She found a thick book in a drawer. "Read this."

Cham flipped it open and scanned the thin pages, "Hey! This book is in some weird numerical code!"

"It's a phonebook, Cham."

"Why the heck would they put the phonebook in code? That's really stupid! Nobody else can read it!" She slammed the book closed and threw it across the room, not seeing Maia roll her eyes. "Let's do something else."

"Come on, Cham, you hardly gave TV a chance. Let's see if they have any American channels."

"Ooh," the word 'American' seemed to captivate Cham. She snatched the remote and flipped to a random channel. It was the New York episode of the _Tour America_ show. "Hey, look Maia! That's where we used to live!"

Cham stood beside the TV, holding the remote like a microphone; she turned the volume down and started narrating. Seeing the Empire State Building, she started, "Standing a gazillion feet tall, this building is very big. Did you know that it also has frequent problems with giant gorillas?"

Maia sighed exasperatedly; at least Cham was occupied.

The next picture was the Statue of Liberty. "This is the Statue of Library. As you can see, she likes books…she is holding one, after all…She kept fire from all the books in the magical land of Library, which is why she holds the fire thingy so far up away from her book. And she was a gift from the French, so since we're having problems with the French, she's all green and rotting."

Maia shook her head.

"And here we have Broadway, where the streets are very wide, as you can obviously tell from the name. People like to dance here…stuff like the Can-can…which is also French. Sheesh, why don't they just take over New York and call it New France?"

Cham got bored again within minutes, and she decided she wanted to go outside. Maia tried to stop her, "No Cham, I promised I wouldn't leave!"

"Well I didn't, and I'm going outside," she insisted.

Maia watched her friend from the window as she stepped outside. Everything seemed fine until Maia saw a shadowy figure which seemed to follow Cham down the alley. It was getting dark outside, Maia noticed with a start. Cham shouldn't have left! The figure proved that it was intending harm when it leapt at Cham, who shrieked.

Maia raced outside, dragonizing and roaring at the shadowy figure, who raced off, screaming in a terrified manner. "Cham!" She yelled at her friend as she returned to human. "I **told** you not to go outside!"

Cham sobbed, "I know. I got a booboo." She proffered her arm; she had skinned her elbow.

Maia grumbled and led Cham back around to the front of the building, taking her inside. "Well, at least we're back now. We weren't gone **that** long. I don't think they'll—" She opened the door to see Lucifer standing there.

"Well, well, well. And did you two have fun on your little escapade?"

"Actually it was scary," Cham replied.

Snape, meanwhile, had advanced on Maia and grabbed her by the collar, "You **promised** me!" He said angrily.

She glanced around nervously, trying to free herself from his vicelike grasp, "I know! But Cham got bored and—"

"I don't care!" He shook her roughly, "You **promised** you would not leave this room! Do you know what could have happened to you?"

Maia looked downcast, knowing he would interrupt if she tried to explain, "I'm sorry."

He felt a little guilty at being so angry with her, and he pulled her tightly against him, brushing through her hair.

She gave a little sob, "I was only trying to save Cham."

He removed her from him, holding her at arm's length, "Saving Charm?"

"Yeah, she went outside for a little air and somebody attacked her—"

"CHARM!"

Lucifer put a hand on his shoulder, "They're fine, Severus. I think I can handle her. You just take care of Miss Forthe."

Snape glared at Cham before turning back to Maia while Lucifer lectured Cham. The professor put his hands on Maia's waist and asked if she was alright. She nodded and rested her head on his chest, "I'm tired."

He nodded, "Alright then." He took her into the other room and tucked her gently under the sheets, removing her outer clothing so she'd be more comfortable.

Opening her eyes briefly, she murmured, "It's too hot in here…too cramped…I need air…"

"Tomorrow I'll take you wherever you want." He kissed her, "I promise."

Cham soon came in, frowning angrily as she curled up on the rug, "Stupid Death Eaters. Think they can boss **me** around…" she muttered.

Snape raised an eyebrow, but did not speak.

Despite her resentment, she fell asleep rather quickly, leaving only the two men awake to talk in the main room.

"You look tired. Is Forthe this much trouble **every** day?"

Snape gave Lucifer a 'duh' sort of look. "No, but it might be because she was with Charm…not to mention intoxicated."

"She seems to be the mellower of the two," Lucifer ignored Snape's sardonic tone, trying to make the conversation a little more pleasant.

"Normally she **is** less daft. But she has a bad temper. And Charm is just a three-year-old with more mobility."

Lucifer laughed, "I haven't yet heard it put a better way."

Snape sighed tiredly and took a drink from the glass he was holding. Setting it down, he got up. "Well I'm going to bed. I don't trust the two of them alone in the same room anymore, even if they **are** sleeping."

"Right. We'll leave in the morning then."

When Snape joined Maia, she gladly welcomed him, making room for him before scooting closer and leaning against him. He smiled and closed his eyes. The Aurors had escaped, but somehow, holding Maia nearer seemed to help. He wasn't looking forward to telling the dark lord about today, but for now it was fine.


	15. Dragons and OWLs

The shade of the big oak tree fell over them as they sprawled on the cool green grass. Warm rays of sun shone through the leaves of the tree, which cast small, whispering shadows on Maia and Snape, who sat curled together under its branches. It was a perfectly romantic moment, and—as always—Cham ruined it. Snape had brought Maia with him when he went to the Malfoy's manor to discuss things with Lucifer. Now they were (or had been) enjoying the summer afternoon outside.

Malfoy was there too, admiring Cham from a distance and glancing intermittently at Snape and Maia, who were getting a little too cuddly.

"I'm bored," Cham complained, standing up and moving between her friend and her professor, sitting strategically in the middle and breaking them apart.

"Well entertain yourself!" Maia snapped. She had been in the middle of an interesting story about her chemistry class (the one where they turned pennies gold). Snape, having been fascinated by muggle classes and procedures (not to mention Maia's mouth) was also just a mite irritated.

"Move, Charm."

"No. You can do that in private."

"We were in private until you showed up. Feel free to leave anytime," Maia shoved Cham to the side.

"Fine, maybe I—" Cham having stood up abruptly, was hit in the head by an owl. "Ow! Stupid bird!" She picked up the letter it left and opened it. Maia and Malfoy also found letters bearing the Hogwarts seal in their laps. Maia opened hers quickly, tearing the envelope apart to get to the parchment inside. It read:

Ordinary Wizarding Level Results

Pass Grades Fail Grades

Outstanding (O) Poor (P)

Exceeds Expectations (E) Dreadful (D)

Acceptable (A) Troll (T)

Maiawen Forthe has achieved:

Arithmancy E

Astronomy E

Charms A

Defence Against the Dark Arts O

Herbology A

History of Magic E

Musical Spells and Charms O 

Potions A

Runes E

Transfiguration O

She had barely scanned hers before Snape took it from her. His expression changed swiftly from indecipherable to disbelief. "You got an 'A' in Potions? Only an 'A'?"

Maia glowered at him, "You sound like my parents."

"Well perhaps your parents knew what they were talking about when they told you to study," he hissed, completely unsatisfied with the rest of Maia's grades, since she had only done average in his class.

"Or maybe I just had a bad teacher," Maia retorted hotly.

Snape bristled, but was interrupted immediately by another piece of parchment.

Cham had shoved her results in Maia's face, and in return, Maia showed it to Snape. He was without words for several minutes.

Ordinary Wizarding Level Results

Pass Grades Fail Grades

Outstanding (O) Poor (P)

Exceeds Expectations (E) Dreadful (D)

Acceptable (A) Troll (T)

Cham Charm has achieved:

Arithmancy O

Astronomy O

Charms O+

Defence Against the Dark Arts O

Drawing and the Art of Magic O 

Herbology O

History of Magic O

Potions O

Runes O

Transfiguration E 

"This is ridiculous…" he murmured, looking at Cham's eager face and back at the paper. "There **must** be a mistake."

"Nope!" Cham snatched the paper from him, chanting, "I be smart! I be smart!"

Maia and Snape just exchanged glances, and Malfoy snorted.

Cham whirled on him, "Do you beg to differ?"

He froze and shook his head, "N-no."

She raised an eyebrow, seeming to have learned more than potions from Snape, "Good."

Maia stood up, muttering, "Well we might as well go inside since it's obvious Cham's not going to leave." She started walking toward the house, and Snape stood too, following. When he was inside, it took him a moment to find Maia. She was on a strange instrument that looked somewhat like a piano, a grave look of concentration on her face. He glanced at the music and (amazingly) recognized the song as the piano arrangement of the _Vltava_ from Smetana's _Ma Vlast_. He wrapped his arms around Maia's waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, closing his eyes and listening to the music.

Her finger slipped and hit a blaringly off-key note and she cursed. "Now I have to start all over!"

"Why?" He asked in a mild voice. "Can't you just start where you left off?"

"**No**," she stated as if it were obvious why she couldn't do that. "I'm **trying** to do a spell." She started playing again, "Now hush."

Cham raced in, "Maia, Maia! Malfoy's making fun of—" She stopped suddenly, backing away slowly and cowering under Maia's snarling glare.

She had jumped at the sudden outburst and once again messed up. "Cham?"

"What?"

"You have five seconds to get out before I STRANGLE YOU!"

Cham beat it.

Once more Maia started playing. Snape wanted to ask what spell she could possibly be doing, but thought better of it, feeling how tense her muscles already were. He saw it, once she began to soften in volume as the song came to an end. Sitting on the piano was a single white rose. Rather than being happy about it, however, Maia scowled.

"Stupid thing!" She threw it on the floor, "It was supposed to be **red**." She muttered to herself, "I must not have done enough dynamic contrast," She mused tapping her chin thoughtfully.

Snape picked up the flower and put it in her hair, "I like the white ones better," he murmured, kissing her cheek.

He achieved the desired effect: Maia—goddess of music—was appeased. There would be no human sacrifices today.

She smiled and elicited a deep-throated chuckle, leaning her head back to kiss him.

Lucifer burst in, "Charm how many times have I told you not to bang on the piano like—" he stopped mid-stride, "Oh."

Maia's smile quickly turned to a scowl, "I wasn't banging."

"Well I know that…of course…you sounded very nice…I'm just so used to Charm…" he faltered under both Maia's and Snape's hostile stares. He waved a hand, trying to look indifferent, "Carry on. Charm's probably causing trouble elsewhere."

As if by providence, a loud shriek pierced the air. Lucifer actually looked relieved as he hurried off.

"I don't know which was better," Snape began, "The look on his face, or the one on **yours**."

"What I would like to know is whether that scream was Cham or **Malfoy**," Maia replied with a laugh.

He leaned down to kiss her again, but she dragonized and began to preen herself, making it clear that she was in no mood for romantic antics. Considering her grooming habits and self-consciousness, the subject of her dragon origins had remained neglected until recently, and they had finally figured out what breed—or rather, mixture thereof—she was. Snape remembered it quite well as he placed a hand on her gleaming scales and ran it along her neck. Reaching up, he pulled her head down by taking hold of the long golden horn that protruded from the front of her snout. Caressing the surface of her head gently, he put his chin on what would be the bridge between her eyes and her nose, speaking softly, "You realize just how valuable you are, don't you? Your scales are the envy of any Antipodean Opaleye, and these…" He ran his hand over one of her gleaming golden horns, "…are no small matter. Herds of Romanian Longhorns have been slaughtered for horns much less beautiful."

Maia shook her head playfully, drawing back from him and appraising herself, obviously pleased. "You really think so?" The words sounded strange, coming out of the mouth of a beast that wasn't meant to speak. Maia had practiced, however, and she could form simple words with her stiff jaws.

Snape nodded and tickled her behind the eye.

Maia smiled smugly and began preening herself again. "I'm glad you think so," she said with an absentminded air, engrossed with cleaning her elbow, which she couldn't quite manage to reach.

He helped her, wriggling into the relatively small space between her wing and foreleg, enclosed on either side by her knee and elbow, ribs and wing. She curled up on the floor contentedly and twisted her neck back so she could see down her back and monitor what the human was doing. He seemed happy enough to lean against her, tracing each little swirl of colour that happened to pass by under the sheen of her scales whenever she breathed in or shifted slightly.

Glancing up, the professor finally noticed her curious stare as she observed him. He smiled and managed to make his way toward her head. He wrapped his arms around Maia-the-dragon's slender neck and scratched just above and behind her eye-ridges. A loud, growling rumble showed her approval, and she stretched out her neck and claws, yawning broadly.

Her eyelids grew heavy and drooped over her iridescent eyes, which had no pupil in them. She looked about ready to fall asleep when Cham burst in and scuttled under Maia's wing, pulling the leathery tissue over her.

Lucifer burst in, "Where is she?"

Maia's face, though dragonish, showed disappointment and resentment at being interrupted (again), but it was Snape who pointed to the lump under Maia's wing.

"Charm, get out from under there now!" Lucifer bellowed.

Cham's muffled voice replied, "Cham's not here at the moment, please leave a message after the tone…BEEP!"

Snape suddenly tugged painfully at Maia's ear, and she roared indignantly, flapping her huge wings and revealing a very guilty looking Cham. Immediately, Cham was cursed with a leg-locker curse and dragged away, leaving Snape to explain why he had yanked the very irate dragon's ear and made her extremely irritated. It seemed as if it would be a good idea to take her home, before she exploded.

X…X

Once home, Maia seemed to have forgotten about the painful tug (the pain having left a long time ago anyway) and was rifling through a small box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans. She took a dirt one and a grass one out, staring thoughtfully at the two. After several minutes, her face lit up and she bit half of each bean off, sticking the remaining halves together.

"I call it," she began as she held it aloft proudly, "dirass!"

Snape shot her a perplexed look, but said nothing, merely picking up a book from the bookshelf and sitting down, apparently settling in for a good long read. However, he kept glancing over at Maia, who was engrossed with her sketchbook, feeling as though he should spend more time with her. She looked lonely anyway, sitting in the middle of the floor and just drawing.

He had been waiting all day to have time alone with her—and it seemed they were always interrupted. But **this** time Wormtail was shut up in his room (for eating all the cheese and making Maia mad) and the sun was beginning to set. Maia was in a relatively welcoming mood, and as he took her hands in his and pulled her suggestively closer, she responded with a quick, tiny kiss on the tip of his nose. Smiling playfully, she escaped his grasp and disappeared into a room (conveniently the bedroom, but we will conveniently skip ahead so you conveniently don't have to read this conveniently skipped part of the story).

It is safe to say that when Maia started from the light sleep she had dozed into, it was late in the evening and she was a little ticked off. The knock that awakened her wasn't loud, but her keen ears picked up the sound. She would have gone back to sleep, but the warm body next to her growled and called to Wormtail to see who it was. He moved and sat up tiredly, glancing back at Maia, who was still feigning sleep.

Laying a hand on her shoulder, he bent and laid his cheek against hers, kissing her as he got up. As he was buttoning his shirt, Wormtail burst in, "Sir I—" his eyes were wide as he stared at Maia. Her back was turned, but the contours of her anatomy were still obvious through the thin sheet that she had pulled over herself (at least up to the waist).

Snape intervened grumpily, "Stop staring Wormtail. It's indecent, and anyway," he added with a superior smirk, "she's far beyond your class."

Wormtail paused, still eyeing Maia, until Snape stepped in the way, blocking Maia from view.

"Well?"

"I believe that Narcissa and Bellatrix wish to see you…sir."

"What?" Snape's hands slipped on the button and he cursed, "Where are they?"

"Still outside."

"Wormtail! You blasted idiot…" his voice trailed off as he made his way for the door. Hearing a roar and Wormtail's terrified squeak, he hurried back to the room as Wormtail scurried past him, "Forthe—what is the—Bellatrix!" He cursed, "Of course." Looking closely at Maia, he asked, "Can I trust you to stay up here and not bother us?"

Maia answered truthfully, "No." She wanted to kill Bellatrix. It was only fair.

He sighed, flicking his wand, "Alright then. Suit yourself." He held out his wand, pointing it at Maia. "Ill just have to curse you."

Maia backed away, "No…no, that's okay, I don't need—"

"Then can I trust you?"

She seemed caught between the two decisions, finally answering, "Yes."

He stared thoughtfully at her. "I think you're lying to me."

Maia retreated still more, "No, I swear, I won't bother you." She eyed his wand warily.

Hesitating slightly, he finally put his wand away, "I'm trusting you." He turned on his heel and left.

Maia sulked on the bed, fully dressed with wand in hand. It would be so easy just to point her wand at Bellatrix and kill her. Snape had forbidden it though. After several minutes of self-pitying silence, she couldn't hold in her anger anymore. She dragonized, letting out a roar of pure fury. Neither Bellatrix nor Narcissa noticed; the former being too taken up with her job as bonder, and the latter too depressed and grief-stricken. However, Snape **did** hear it, and his hand twitched slightly in Narcissa's.

He returned to the bedroom as soon as both women had left, suddenly in an irritable mood. Glancing at Maia, he sat, putting his head in his hands, running one hand absently through his hair. He seemed worried. Maia just glowered angrily at him. It would take much more than sweet-talk to make her forgive him this time.


	16. Pistols and Promises

Because Snape was a teacher, he had to make plans to return to Hogwarts early (the school had reappeared sometime in late July). He had arrived at Malfoy Manor to arrange things with Lucifer while he was away, and to attempt to console Narcissa, who was slipping very quickly into insanity. While Snape was busy, Maia had the 'pleasure' of seeing Cham again, after quite a while of separate training. Cham had been with other young Death Eaters training in Egypt.

Maia was surprised when Cham didn't greet her with as much enthusiasm as usual. Her friend was moody and detached, something that almost never happened.

"Hey, Cham, remember when we were little?" Maia tried for the sixteenth time to make Cham happy. "You know, when we used to play Cowboys and Indians?"

Cham perked up a little, "Maybe we could play it now!" Her mood suddenly deflated again, "We don't have any stuff."

Maia rolled her eyes, "All we have to do is summon the stuff." She pointed her wand in the air and was about to say the spell when she changed her mind. She'd been hit in the head too many times while using the summoning spell. "Um…maybe you'd better do it, Cham."

"_Accio_ bow and arrows!" Said Cham enthusiastically, the weapons appearing in her hands.

Maia snatched them from her.

"Hey!" Cham protested, "I want to be the Indian. I'm always Cowboy!"

Maia thought quickly, "That's because 'Cowboy' and 'Cham' both start with the same letter."

"But 'Indian' and 'Maia' don't start with the same letter."

"But," said Maia triumphantly, "Those letters make the word 'I'm,' and **I'm me**."

Cham thought about this and, finding no flaw in Maia's logic, shrugged and agreed to be the cowboy. "If you get to be the Indian, then all you get for your costume is a stupid feather," she summoned a feather and stuck it in Maia's hair.

Maia glared at Cham and commanded, "_Accio_ lipstick!" The lipstick appeared and banged Maia on the head. After she smeared marks on her cheeks and forehead, she decided her costume was good enough.

Cham, on the other hand, called haughtily, "_Accio_ cowboy!" Her spell summoned a real live man, and she quickly put a petrifying spell on him. She took his hat, boots—complete with spurs—vest, and belt, making sure the guns were in their halters before putting it all on. She sauntered in front of Maia and showed off her outfit.

"Very nice," Maia said sarcastically. "Stop modelling and get started."

"Okay, you go hid in the forest, 'cause Injuns like pretty trees: they smell good…like trees. I'll come running this way and you try to shoot me…but don't hit me: I get to hit you because cowboys always win."

"But—"

"Okay, go!" Cham raced off in one direction, and Maia went the other way, grumbling.

She decided to sneak attack Cham, which wasn't so difficult, so as her friend came by, she jumped in front of her, "Die stupid cowbutt!"

Her arrow fizzed at Cham, but it only landed in the ground between Cham's feet, "But I'm a cow**boy**, not a cowbutt…Maia?"

Maia wasn't listening. Pulling out another arrow, she examined it, exclaiming, "It's **real**!"

Cham, who was obviously not paying attention, pulled out her Colt Peacemaker and said in a drawling Southern accent, "I'll toast yeh for that yeh yeller bellied son of a one eyed prairie dawg."

"Cham do—"

Back at the house, they heard the report of a gun. Snape and Lucifer both shot to their feet (ha ha, shot…right, another bad joke) and Narcissa's hand flew to her mouth. Malfoy burst into the room, "What was that?"

"A gun," Lucifer knew his muggle weapons rather well, "Probably a hand gun, a Colt possibly."

Maia was lying on the ground, her hand clenched tightly against her left shoulder. Her breath was shallow and her face white.

"What happened?" Lucifer knelt beside Maia, feeling her pulse.

Snape, meanwhile, knew whose fault **this** was, and he whirled on Cham, "_**CHARM**_!"

Cham looked from Maia to Snape, and back again. "I didn't mean to! I…the gun…it was supposed to be little pop caps…" she squinched her fingers together to show the size, cowering under Snape's glare, "…little…pop…caps…" the hapless girl then burst into uncontrollable tears, "Wah!"—sob—"I didn't mean to"—sob—"I'm in big trouble"—sob—"and Maia's **dead**!"

"Not yet," Said Lucifer, and he turned toward Snape. "Don't be so hard on her; she didn't know any better. She's like a little child."

Cham's lower lip quivered, her eyes wet from sobbing and her nose red. She sniffed.

"A child with weapons," Snape snarled, eyeing Cham darkly before he turned to Maia.

Cham ignored him and gazed up at Lucifer. Somewhere in the dark recesses of her mind a little light clicked on and immediately attached itself to Lucifer. Cham's sorrowful gaze turned to one of adoration.

Snape interrupted irritably, "Well we have to do something about Maia!" He was too distressed to even call her by her last name, which had become something of a pet name for her.

"Magic." Lucifer shrugged, "You can easily fix this."

"As a professor, it is my job to point out the flaws in your logic. One: I am not a healer. Two: magic doesn't **work** on her!"

Maia spoke up in a quiet tone, "I need…a wet rag…" They could tell it took a lot of effort for her just to speak. Blood trickled from between the fingers she had pressed against her wound, and a drop escaped from the corner of her mouth.

The rag was immediately summoned for her, and she spoke, "This…might sound…a little…strange…but somebody's going…to have to take…off my…shirt for me…so I can…see what I'm doing…"

Lucifer knelt beside her again and began to unbutton it, but Snape's disapproving glare threw him off.

"I'll do it." He finished the job, noticing that minus the blood she looked quite attractive in her underwear.

Maia rolled her eyes. She wasn't very good at Legilimency, but she didn't **need** to read minds to know what he was thinking. Once he was done, she slapped the cloth over the bleeding wound. Cham's eyes were wide as Maia, obviously pleased to be the centre of attention, spoke, "It didn't…hit the…lung…fortunately…just a flesh wound…"

Snape placed his hands on either side of her head, holding her still. "Don't talk. That bullet is still too close to your heart for my liking."

Lucifer suddenly had a brilliant epiphany, "Wait! I know! Magic may not work on **her**, but I think I can remove…" he quickly lifted her hand and the rag, placing the end of his wand to her wound. Snape muttered something and a metallic object slowly emerged, dropping harmlessly into his hand. "…the bullet."

All sighed with relief as Lucifer used Maia's shirt for a bandage, tying it effectively across the wound. "We have to get her into the house—" Lucifer said, taking Maia by the arm. He saw Snape give him a sarcastic look and responded impatiently, "Here, just take her other arm."

As they took her carefully across the spacious grounds, she glanced at the stained spot she had been lying in and immediately gagged, "Is all that…**my** blood?"

Snape shrugged, murmuring sarcastically, "Unless Charm shot somebody else, then yes, that is probably your blood."

Her limbs went limp and her head fell against his shoulder. She had fainted.

"Holy freakin' cornflakes!" A searing pain lanced through her shoulder and the cold dread of suffocation overcame her as the pain increased enough to steal her breath.

"Get her down!" A low male voice grunted.

Two spidery, cold hands firmly grasped her head and she was forced to look at Lucifer's creased face. "Shh…it's alright. Calm down, breathe deeply…" she winced as the temporary dressing was removed. "Good girl," he continued, "that's it—no, don't look down…"

He glanced at Snape and saw him nod when he was finished. He loosed his grip on Maia's head and let her move as she wished. She laid back down with a groan of pain. The new bandaging stung. As the pain gradually subsided, she closed her eyes, **trying** to get back to sleep.

Of course, they started talking. Sure it was in quiet voices, but they were talking about **her**. She wanted to tell them to shut up, but her curiosity won over, and she lay still, waiting to see what they would say.

"She seems like a nice little thing," Lucifer commented almost off-hand.

—_Thing?_—Maia thought indignantly.

If Snape had heard her, he gave no notice. He replied, "**Seems** like it, doesn't she."

—_Hey!_—

"So…how **did** you…" he trailed off.

"By accident," was Snape's response.

—_Stupid Cham_—came Maia's silent input.

"You seem to like her quite a bit."

There was a silence, then Maia felt a hand touch her cheek, "'Quite a bit' would be an understatement." His voice was very soft.

—_Hmph_—Maia's thought was a very sceptical one.

Finally acknowledging her, he tweaked her nose, "You know I can hear every comment you have made for the past few minutes—spoken or otherwise—don't you?" He stated it firmly, but she could see he was smiling.

Maia coughed, but it only took both men a few seconds to realize she was laughing, "So?" She gasped.

His smile broadened and he touched her cheek again. A frown suddenly replaced his smile and his eyebrows knit together, "Did you put…**lipstick** on your face?"

"You just noticed?" Maia retorted, wiping it quickly off, having barely remembered it himself.

"Well I didn't expect…" he trailed off as he realized that Maia went far beyond the unexpected.

She just smiled weakly and settled back happily. Snape sighed and returned to his place by Lucifer. Watching her, it was easy to see her gradually relax into a tenuous sleep. Her breathing had slowed to the normal rate, but was still interspersed with a choking sort of cough. Occasionally, during times when the conversation lagged, one of the two wizards would check her pulse, breathing, and temperature.

It was one of these times that Lucifer put his hand to her forehead that she stirred. He motioned Snape over, murmuring, "She's a fever now…it's getting worse quickly, too."

He didn't believe Lucifer, "No, that's im—"

Maia's eyes opened as his hand touched her forehead—Cold!—Once was enough but **twice**? She flinched. Seeing that it was Snape, though, she smiled faintly and closed her eyes again. Her lips moved by neither could hear what she was saying.

"Speak up, Forthe."

She groaned and abruptly took him by the collar, pulling him so close her lips brushed his hair as she spoke.

Lucifer couldn't hear a thing, but he imagined it must be interesting when Snape shot up, "Forthe! I…that's not possible…"

"I want you to ask Cham to give my wand back. I can't very well get up and ask her, now, can I?"

"You can't even use your wand. Why do you want it now?"

"It bothers me that Cham has it. Tell her to give it back."

Snape grumbled, but he went into Cham's room and saw not only her, but Maia's wand, which she was throwing carelessly against the wall.

"Charm!" He bellowed, snatching the wand from her before she could throw it again, "Give me that!"

"Professor!" She protested, "That's **Maia's**, not yours! And anyway, I was her friend **first**, so I get all her stuff when she dies."

"She **isn't dead**!"

Her face lit up, "She's alive?"

"Yes!"

"Yay!" Cham clapped her hands together happily. Seeing Lucifer burst in, she squealed, "Lucifee!"

"Did I do something?" He asked as she hugged him 'round the middle.

Snape shrugged, "Apparently you exist." He exited, followed by Lucifer and Cham. Once in Maia's room again, he quickly made his way to the bed, slapping the wand onto the bedside table. "There." A particularly nasty part of him coerced him into adding sarcastically, "Do you need anything else, my lady?"

Maia smiled at him, "No, thank you. You can get back to washing the dishes and swabbing the hallway, slave."

He grunted bad-temperedly and returned to his chair.

Maia just settled into her pillow and fell asleep.

X…X

Only a few days later, Maia was able to sit on the couch, leaning against Snape's chest, with her eyes closed in repose. Cham was talking sixty-twelve words a minute, leaving little room for anyone else to add their input. Lucifer listened somewhat with interest, and Snape was too busy caressing Maia's hair to care about anything else, so everybody was happy. Except Maia.

Her shoulder still hurt, and nobody could do anything about it. Snape absentmindedly put a finger on her wound, tracing the edge lightly as he tried to think of a way to help it heal faster. Even through the bandage, the light touch hurt excruciatingly.

"Ow!" Maia jumped suddenly when he got too far toward the actual site of the shot.

"Sit still; I'm trying to think!" He pulled her back to her previous place.

She just wrestled her way back into a sitting position, "Well maybe you can think without sticking your fingers in places they don't need to be!"

"Maia!" Cham exclaimed.

"I didn't mean **that**!" She said acidly.

"You're grumpy…I think you need to play a board game."

"They're called 'bored' games for a reason, you know," Maia grumbled.

"Oh, come on. We can play Monopoly!"

"You always take all the money!"

"Well I won't this time."

Maia grudgingly accepted with a lot of encouragement for Snape, who needed Cham to be distracted. Maybe it would quiet the both of them down a little. Unfortunately he'd never seen them play board games.

Cham summoned the game, forcing Maia to duck as the game board flew over her head, followed successively by each little piece. "I get to be horseman!" Cham called.

"But…" Maia pouted.

"No," Cham insisted, "You're always horseman."

Maia took her wand and pointed it at the boot playing piece, "_Draconus Moriartus_!" It suddenly melted into something that looked like quicksilver, reshaping itself and hardening into a tiny version of herself (in dragon form).

"Ooh! I want the dragon!" Cham reached for it and it reared, biting her painfully on the thumb. "Ow! You made a **mean** dragon!"

Maia picked up the little piece protectively, "No, you're just a dunderhead."

As they set up and started playing, Snape and Lucifer glanced at each other, expecting a peaceful game. But it was not to be. As soon as Cham perceived she was losing, she screeched, "Open Bank Day! Whoever gets to the bank first gets all the money—oops, too late Maia! I'm rich!"

Maia protested loudly, even in her weakened state, "Hey, you're the banker—all that money was closer to you!"

"Just goes to show you the advantages of strategic placement."

Maia huffed, "Well if it's Open Bank Day, then the government issues a seventy-five percent tax on all goods taken from the bank. And since I'm president, that means you owe me seventy-five percent of all your money."

"Darn it," Cham handed over her money.

After a few minutes, she took a quill and started adding zeros to the one-dollar bills.

"What are you **doing**?" Maia asked incredulously.

"The market prices are achieving high levels of deflation—the dollar bill is now worth one million dollars!"

"Hey, that means I'm rich too!"

"Nope, because there's an eighty-five percent tariff levied on all persons richer than thirty billion dollars."

"Argh," Maia thought briefly, "Well I call that all single people have to support all non-single people—" at this she dragged Snape nearer, "—so give me fifty-eight billion dollars."

"Oh yeah? Well you turned into a dragon and decimated town square—so you owe the city sixty million dollars!" Cham safely stored the money in the bank—which had conveniently been relocated to her pocket.

"Well if I decimated town square, I might as well decimate the whole city!" Maia flung the board into the air, scorched it with fire, and burned all her pieces (except her dragon). "Ha! So there!"

Cham flung a pillow at her, "The governmental officials see what a bad president they've elected and call in the heavy artillery!"

"You can't overthrow me! I've secretly become dictator of the world overnight! I have control over all international economics, politics, and societies!"

"Except the secret society—the Gadianton Black Hands of Doom Klan! You die, Forthe!"

"Yeah, well…um…aliens invade the earth and make an alliance with me to squash all infidel rebellious revolutionaries!"

"And then the Supreme Being decides this is too weird and blows up the earth, striking both of us with lightning bolts!"

Both Maia and Cham shook hands and said in unison, "The end."


	17. A Summoning Slump

Maia gave up on board games after that, considering that she had gotten too active and aggravated her wound further. Cham slumped into a self-made depression because she became so bored. So she started to have nightmares. Who knows why boredom would cause nightmares? (But no one knows what's going on inside Cham's mind; not even Cham).

One night, after a particularly bad nightmare, Cham stumbled through the corridors of the manor until she found Lucifer's rooms.

"Lucifee!" She wailed, entering, "I had a bad dream with bad, scary stuff in it. It was a dream, and it was **bad**!" She paused her whining when she realized he wasn't there. "Lucifee deserted me!" She cried and went flying down the halls toward Maia's rooms.

Maia, meanwhile, had been in the shower, and she emerged from the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around her. She was met by Snape and his wandering hands.

"Professor!" She exclaimed in surprise.

Explaining quietly, he murmured, "It's been a long time…"

Maia just giggled.

Now it was rather easy to disrobe her, but that was about as far as he got before a familiar voice interrupted them.

"Maia—"

At the mere sound of her voice, Snape flinched.

"Cham!" Maia roared.

"Maia!" Cham's voice sounded astonished, "All this time—" she continued in a depressed voice, "—You weren't discussing deep philosophical matters…it was all lies!" She wailed.

"I never told you we talked about philosophy!"

"So? You let me **think** so!"

Maia pulled Snape's cloak over herself, "Because I didn't want you to criticize me!" She pointed emphatically at the door, "Now get out!"

Snape watched as Cham moped out of the room, amazed at the dictator-like control Maia exercised despite the fact that her face had flushed a bright shade of red.

The mood ruined, he sat by Maia, staring through the glass doors out at the overcast night sky. She got dressed and snuggled up to him, leaning against his shoulder. He kissed her, absently stroking her damp blue hair.

"How is it?" He indicated her wound.

"Better," she murmured. After her bout of anger, the pain had flared up again, but it was gradually receding.

"Has the spell helped at all?"

She nodded.

He attempted to unbutton her shirt to check, but she staved off his efforts.

"It's **fine**," she muttered.

Giving her a concerned look, but receiving no other sign of discomfort, he shrugged and laid back with a sigh, his hands linked behind his head. Maia stood and went to the French doors and opened them, letting in the cool night air.

Leaning on the railing of the balcony, Maia started to hum and then sing. Snape could catch phrases every so often, but some of the softer parts evaded his hearing.

She suddenly started when Snape asked, "What song is that?"

Shrugging, she replied, "Just a song my mother used to sing to me."

"She must have had a beautiful voice if she sang anywhere near as well as you."

"She did. It's all I can remember of her before she left."

"You didn't know your mother?"

"No. They say my dad died when I was a baby, and my mother disappeared. I was adopted when I was very small. Now I don't even have them anymore."

"Forthe, it sounds as though you may be catching a bit of a chill," Snape alluded to the fact that her voice was getting colder every minute she spent outside. Taking her by the waist, he said, "Come inside; you'll get sick if you stay out here."

She acceded, letting him take her inside. She remained sad, though, muttering, "Cham's still mad at me…"

"She'll get over it."

"No she won't. Cham holds grudges."

"She'll forget it."

"Yeah, but then something will remind her of it and she'll be even angrier."

"She'll be angrier if she remembers that she forgot?"

"She'll be mad at me for not reminding her that she was mad at me."

Snape just stared at her, and then laughed.

"It's **not** funny!" Maia insisted huffily. Any other time she would have been pleased to make him laugh (it didn't happen often), but this was not one of those times.

He curbed his laughter, transforming it into a coughing fit.

Maia got up, "I'm going to apologize."

"For what? It's her own fault that she though our 'philosophical discussions' weren't as intelligent as she wanted them to be."

Maia cast him an arch look, "Yeah, like imitating rabbits is **so** intelligent."

Snape drew himself up, "I am **not** a rabbit." Maia had already left. He sighed in despair. It was so annoying: she was inconceivably intolerable, yet intolerably intoxicating. Curse her.

Maia found Cham wallowing in misery (or rather, water since she had fallen into the pond in the back yard).

"What are you doing in there?" She asked.

Cham glared at her, "I'm having a philosophical discussion with the water…a REAL philosophical discussion," she snapped.

"Oh," Maia shuffled her feet guiltily. After a few minutes, she glanced back at her friend, "Are you done?"

Cham, shivering and turning blue, shook her head stubbornly.

Maia sighed and levitated Cham out of the water. Cham floundered in the air for a moment until Maia brought her somewhat gently to the ground. Maia was about to speak when Cham squealed in alarm, "There's something in my pants!" she screeched, and started to shake her legs. Her eyes got wide, "I'm being possessed!" She looked at Maia frantically, "Hurry! Get an exercise!"

Maia stared, "Don't you mean an exorcist?"

"This is no time for contractions, Maia!" Cham replied, now jumping up and down. "Wah! This demon has a sick sense of humour!"

Maia was about to say something about 'contradictions' instead of 'contractions' when something suddenly came shooting from Cham's pant leg, whacking Maia in the chest. She grabbed her attacker firmly, just in case it was dangerous. Staring curiously at the creature in her hands, she started snorting in a laughing wheeze, "Cham, it's just a lizard…"

The silvery-green thing suddenly shrank and Cham screeched, "A demon lizard!"

Maia caught it again before it could scamper too far up her arm, "No, just a moke."

"A **what**?"

"A **moke**." Maia turned to face the lizard, which sniffed her in turn. It made a funny squeaking noise and nuzzled her hand, obviously smelling the dragon in her. "I bet we're **related**!" Maia exclaimed happily.

"No! It's a trap! Lizards are evil!" Cham cried.

Maia ignored her.

Cham glowered at Maia's new-found friend. She started to fell a twinge of jealousy. (Of course, she didn't know the meaning of jealousy…or twinge…) She suddenly had a wonderful idea, waving her wand in the air and calling, "PET!"

Mai shouted suddenly, "Cham! No!" The moke scurried onto her shoulder, shrinking noticeably (cause that's what mokes do).

The trees in the nearby forest rustled ominously.

"Cornflakes," Maia muttered, dragonizing quickly.

A shadowy creature (of course, it was hard to see that it was shadowy because it was dark outside) sprang from the brush, emitting a shrill roar of rage. Maia roared back angrily, hoping to warn it off. The fearsome creature regarded her from afar. With her notable night vision, Maia immediately realized this was no trifling creature—this was a Chimaera.

"Yikes!" Cham scuttled behind Maia, "It's a possessed goat!"

Maia growled softly, "You've really done it this time—goat girl. Snape is going to be so mad at you."

Cham barely had time to notice that they had begun to measure how bad things were by how mad Snape would be at them. The Chimaera gave little time for conversation—much less thought—leaping straight at Maia's throat. Maia reared, clawing at the beast with her silvery weapons of doom (that would be her claws).

The beast shrieked piercingly—Maia would be surprised if the others didn't show up soon. Slashing her face with its dragon-like tail, it leapt onto her back, attempting to find a more vulnerable place to attack. Finally it decided to bite down on her neck, grinding painfully with its teeth. She groaned in agony, but could in nowise shake it loose. She was doomed to die as the Chimaera slowly crushed her spine.

It was in this predicament that Snape and Lucifer found the two girls (the moke having disappeared). Cham ran and tackled 'Lucifee,' leaving Snape alone to help Maia. The only difficulty was the beast's imperviousness to most magic. It took Snape a while to rifle through the dusty pages of his memories and find his knowledge of Chimaeras.

"Chimaera…Chimaera…extremely dangerous—obviously…not—not that…highly prized for—wait a moment! _Bellum Instrumatum_!" A silver tipped spear appeared in his hand and he quickly rushed at the beast, goring it through the throat, the heart, and finally he shoved it into the creature's open mouth and into its skull. Yanking the spear loose as the writhing animal fell, he turned to Maia, shaking a disgusting smelling serous fluid from his hands. Just as he was about to speak, the Chimaera's tail thrashed violently and tripped him, dragging him through a pool of blood. The silver spear flashed as he quickly sliced through the exposed underside. A mess of unnamed fluid (a lot like multi-coloured snot) flooded over the professor who, seeing the futility of trying to stay clean, lay prostrate in the muck, staring exhaustedly at the sky above.

Cham came racing their way as human Maia helped Snape up. She almost hugged him, but suddenly realized what he was covered in—"Yucky! You're covered in Chimaera guts! Go take a bath!" she looked at Maia, who was also covered in a mixture of slimy guts and silvery dragon blood, "You too, Maia!"

Snape gave Maia a sarcastic look, "So this is the thanks I get."

She kissed his cheek gingerly (trying to avoid the slime covering most of his face) and muttered, "Thank you."

Narcissa interrupted any reply that might have been made, running out in her nightgown, shrieking, "What is **this**? Who ruined my yard?"

Lucifer stated calmly, "Severus was merely saving these two from harm. Everything will be fine."

Maia was disappointed that the moke had vanished, but she realized the need to bathe, so she and Snape went inside (after a brief rinse in the pond to get rid of the excess sludge). The bathtub was like a small swimming pool, entrenched in the cold marble tile, the lip around the edge coming just above the floor. About five feet deep, with a ledge running along the sides, the jelly-bean shaped tub was perfectly suited to allow one to sit waist-high in warm water or go deeper and rinse clean.

Maia stood at its edge, fully clothed in her dripping attire, filling the tub with hot water and soap (lots of soap). She was about to clamber in when Snape came up behind her and shoved her in.

"Blargh!" she spluttered angrily, grabbing him by the ankle.

"Hey! I—" Sploosh! She yanked him in. He protested, "What did I do?"

The glare Maia gave him said all.


	18. Professors and Post Its

Fortunately, for the nerves of everybody else, Snape soon had to leave for Hogwarts, and he departed early in the morning before even Maia was awake. Once she woke, she only found a post-it note (something she had recently introduced to him) stuck to her forehead.

_Dear Forthe,_

_Had to leave for Hogwarts. Staff meeting—urgent. Don't let Lucifer forget to take you and the other two to Diagon Alley to get your supplies. _

—_Severus_

Maia grumbled, feeling very put out. She immediately went to Malfoy's room, kidnapped his owl, and wrote:

_**Dear** Professor,_

_You should have said goodbye…or at least signed your letter with 'Love.' Sheesh, maybe a few hearts could have done too. _

—_Sarcastically yours, Maia_

The owl returned within a few hours.

_Dear Forthe,_

_As much as it pleases me to see a student so dedicated to perfecting the fine art of sarcasm, you should be worrying about school._

—_**Love**, Severus_

_P.S. See you in three days…and shall I write in pink next time, as well?_

Cham, being the bumbleoaf she was, caught sight of this latest note and started laughing.

Maia grumpily told her to shut up.

"But he said '**pink**!'" Cham burst into uncontrollable giggles. It didn't help that the letter had arrived in the middle of Diagon Alley. The owl looked rather fed-up, and Maia didn't send another note back, promising herself that she would figure out a way to send them via magic, not owl.

Time seemed to fly by, picking Maia and Cham up for the ride, and it wasn't too long before they were on the Hogwarts Express, sitting in their own compartment—since Maia's candy stash took up its own seat. Less than an hour later, it was almost gone and Maia was sure Cham was vibrating the entire train car with her hyper bounciness. She had such a headache—the noise was too much for her keen ears.

"Cham! Shut up!"

"But I like bouncing…and hyperness…and I LOVE candy! Gimme more of those funny tasting jelly beans!"

Two and a half hours later, when the girls were settled once more in the Great Hall, Maia snorted, looking over Cham's shoulder and laughing at her Lists. She was in the middle of writing one, ignoring Dumbledore's start of term speech.

Ten Ways to Make Snape Hate You:

Exist.

Breath…e.

Be a girl.

Be a boy.

Be someone udder than Maia.

Maia had stopped laughing and was waiting for Cham to think of another one, when she heard what Dumbledore had to say next. He was talking about the fat bald man standing at the moment, "—is a former colleague of mine, who has agreed to resume his old post of Potions master."

Maia frowned, glancing at Snape as Dumbledore continued, "Professor Snape, meanwhile, will be taking over the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."

Maia choked, "What?" He hadn't told her anything!

He lazily raised a hand in acknowledgment, a slight look of triumph detectable on his face.

Cham looked up, completely oblivious, as usual. Maia grabbed the front of her robes, "Cham! This can't happen!"

"I can change the title to 'Fifteen Ways to Make Snape Hate You' if I—"

"No you bloody well…wait, what?" Maia glanced down at the paper.

Be Cham.

Be in Gryffindor.

Be in Hufflepuff.

Be in Ravenclaw.

Be in Slytherin (if you are Cham…but you are not because **I** am Cham).

Have black hair (he must be jealous or something…).

Maia glanced at Cham in confusion, "What? But he **has** black hair!"

Cham glanced up at him, which made Snape nervous. He had gazed at the two girls, and it was very unnerving to see them bent over a piece of paper, shooting him looks every once in a while and laughing.

Cham glared at Maia and spoke as if it were obvious, "No, it's onyx. That's completely different."

Maia kept looking between the two, "But I don't see…" She trailed off hopelessly and watched Cham continue her List.

Write a 115 page long story about him.

Be in his class.

Not be a vampire.

"Cham, he **isn't** a vampire!"

"That's what **you** think. But I know him."

Maia gave Cham a confused look. "You do?"

"Yes," Cham insisted. "Besides, I did research on vampires."

"Oh? And what did you study?"

"Vampires…duh."

"Just keep working on your list, Cham, before you hurt yourself. Or before **I** hurt you."

Not be grumpy at Cham.

Say 'eew' when Maia and him—

"That's enough, Cham," Maia hurriedly took the list from her.

Cham pouted, "Fine. I'll make a new one. But you have to give that one back to me first."

Maia hesitated, but returned it grudgingly. Cham started her new list.

Ten Ways to Make Snape Like You:

Be Maia.

Cham suddenly stopped writing. "Maia, I can't think of any other things…oh well!" She began working on the other List again. "Ooh! I read this one on the wizardnet!" She hurriedly scribbled something down.

Hum "Happy Days"

On second thought…humming in general.

Be Harry Potter.

Profess your undying love for Harry Potter.

Profess your undying love for him. (Unless you're Maia).

Say: "Snapey dear, you left your pink panties in my dormitory last night!" in front of the whole class.

Maia interrupted, "He doesn't wear pink underwear!"

Cham looked at her blankly before suddenly asking, "Boxers or briefs?"

Maia gave her a confused look before replying with a straight face, "Neither."

Cham thought about this. A few minutes later she screeched, "EEW!" It echoed through the Great Hall, students turning to stare at her. She did not return their looks, shooting a disgusted glare at Snape.

She then returned to her List and proceeded to put asterisks next to numbers 6, 7, 17, 19, 20, 21 (unless you're Maia). She put one next to 22, paused, and added several more next to it.

Maia's confused look prompted her to explain, "All the ones with pretty stars next to them mean that if you do them you have just doomed yourself to eternal pain and death, not necessarily in that order."

Throughout the rest of the night, she continued to add things onto her List, glaring suspiciously at Snape every few minutes or so. He could not look Maia's way and attempt communication without seeing Cham frowning at him. To Maia's relief, Dumbledore broke the tension between Cham and Snape by dismissing all the students. Maia hurried to the common room, eager to get to bed. Cham followed not so hastily, glaring back over her shoulder at Snape, who sneered back before turning away with disgust.

In the common room (where Cham and Maia sat in chairs, the former having convinced the latter to stay awake for a while) the two of them were reading. (Or at least Maia was; Cham was adding onto her List.)

"What are you reading?" Cham said in her curious-annoying voice, having given up on thinking of another reason for her List.

"A book…you wouldn't understand such things."

"Yes I do! They have words, and paper, and ink, and leather, sometimes…" she proceeded to list all of the things books had, which kept her occupied for a couple of seconds, before she was distracted by another thought.

"Did you know that elephants can't jump?"

"Yes," said Maia boredly.

"Yeah, they can't, 'cause they have big feetsies and stuff and—oh, wait, you do?"

"Yes, Cham."

"Oh. Did you know giraffes' tongues are blue?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Did you know cats' whiskers can feel?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Did you know that racoons wash their food before they eat it?"

"That would be a good lesson for you, Cham."

"What?"

"Yes, I knew that."

"Oh. Did you know that purple was the hardest colour to make in medieval times?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Did you know—" Cham proceeded with the random facts, and Maia fell into the pattern of saying "yes" every time she spoke, not even bothering to listen after a while. Cham, with her tiny attention span, changed the subject, but Maia didn't notice.

"Do you think I'm evil, Maia?"

"Yes."

"Really? Snape said I wasn't evil. Is he wrong?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Is he wrong about lots of stuff?"

"Yes."

Cham stared at her friend for a long moment, then noticed said professor walk into the common room, looking exhausted. She grinned wickedly (but in America it would be righteously) "Hey Maia, is Snape a big fat mean piece of poop?"

"Yes."

"Is he smelly and greasy and foul and oily?"

"Yes."

"Is he really super annoying?" she paused, "Even more than me?"

Maia came out of her reverie. "**No one** is more annoying than you, Cham."

"I would have to agree with that," said Snape darkly from beside the door. He glared at the two girls, Maia having started guiltily from her spot. "Why don't you come with me, Miss Forthe?" he said coldly. Maia winced. Snape only tacked 'miss' in front of her name when he was really ticked off.

She followed him hesitantly, ignoring Cham's look of half-sympathy half-amusement. "You didn't tell me you were going to be the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher this year," she said in a half-accusing voice. It was her way of avoiding trouble, finding a way to be mad at the person who was mad at her. Snape just ignored her until they entered his office, coming to the back room.

Snape sneered at Maia's frightened look. "Don't be so worried, technically, you only insulted me five times. 'Greasy and oily' are synonyms, along with 'smelly and foul'."

Maia looked at him in confusion. "I didn't say that!"

"Oh I suppose you also didn't say…'" he trailed off, looking disgusted. Maia didn't realize that look was for Cham's stupidity.

"What?"

"Never mind."

Maia's apprehension started to fade to anger, "I didn't do anything! What, do you make up reasons to be mad at me or something? Do you sit there at your desk and scribble out lists like Cham does?"

Snape stared at her suspiciously. "What lists?"

Maia stopped ranting and immediately went on guard. "Oh…er…nothing."

He just glared at her, "Charm is an idiot, but I expected more from you, Forthe."

Maia shrugged, smiling ingratiatingly, "I do what I can."

Taking her roughly by the shoulders he growled, "Forthe I…sometimes you just…" trailing off, he looked down at her smug face, kissing her brusquely because he didn't know what else to do, smiling when he felt her hands tentatively rest on his waist.

Breaking away, and panting slightly, he muttered, "I have something for you."

Maia's face grew curious, "Really?"

Her surprise turned to dismay when he pressed two pieces of parchment into her hands, "Your schedule."

"Oh…"

He pointed to the door, "Now go give Charm **her** schedule."

Maia turned to look at him just before she left, "I thought you were going to let me stay a little longer…"

He gave her an arrogant look, "I know you did." Pausing, he seemed to think of the consequences. Finally, he murmured, "I might let you if you hurry up and give Charm her schedule."

Maia raced out of the room.


	19. Flinty Feelings

The classes Maia and Cham had the next day enlightened them as to why they had so many rest periods; they weren't for rest, but for homework. Maia didn't like having Defence Against the Dark Arts first; it was infinitely more difficult than last year, and infinitely more stressful, even for her. She couldn't help but think about Voldemort as Snape gave a lecture about the Dark Arts, caressing each word like—(well let's just put it in Cham's words):

"Maia, I think he wants to turn Defence **Against** the Dark Arts into Defence **For** the Dark Arts…" Cham was staring wide-eyed at her professor.

Maia was too. They were relieved when they were broken up into pairs to attempt unspoken spells. Maia and Cham (obviously) were paired together, and Cham was trying to block spells that Maia was not exactly succeeding in producing. Halfway through class, she threw down her wand and started cursing at Cham.

"You idiot! Stop staring at me so innocently! You think I can't do anything right, you—"

"But Maia, I'm not doing anything!" Cham wailed.

"Pick up your wand, Forthe, and stop whining. Concentrate," Snape lectured her as he prowled past.

Maia fumed inwardly, and Cham thought she saw smoke coming from her nostrils. She pointed her wand furiously at Cham and glared at her, willing the spell to work.

—_Impedimenta_—she thought loudly. —_Impedimenta!_—growling, she shouted, "Damn you, you stupid—_**Impedimenta**_!"

Cham flew backward, making a large crack in the stone wall, little Romanian Opaleye dragons circling above her head. "Wow…good spell…Maia…" She said dazedly.

"Might I remind you, Forthe, that we are practising **silent** curses?" Snape scraped Cham off the wall with a spell. (Not all of her came off).

"Right." Maia raised her wand, glaring at Cham as she attempted the spell again.

When she only succeeded in knocking Cham over with a weak disarming curse, her friend asked, "Can **I** try?"

"Go ahead. I'll be surprised if you can do anything except break your wand," Maia grumbled angrily.

Cham raised her wand, squinting her eyes and clenching her fists. Maia, in turn, tried her hand at defensive spells. Maybe she was better at—Cham suddenly shrieked, "I did it!"

Maia looked around and, indeed, she was floating in midair. Cham waved her wand in glee, and Maia suddenly found herself staring at a swiftly approaching stone wall. "CHA—oof…"

"Wow, Maia! You made a dent in the wall!" Cham stared at her friend, who was still floating dazedly in the air.

"Put her **down**, Charm," Snape lazily instructed, ignoring the fact that Cham was the only one in the class besides Hermione who had succeeded.

Cham frowned, obeying sadly. Flicking her wand, she let Maia fall on the ground. Maia got up with a groan, blinking and reacquainting herself with her surroundings before she glared at Cham and approached with a menacing air.

"Maia…you look really mad…" Cham backed up as Maia raised her wand.

"CHAM! YOU—" Maia couldn't even find words to express her anger.

Snape 'conveniently' turned his back on Maia.

The rest of the class period had Cham in the hospital wing, and Maia sulking over an 'honorary' detention (which, like an honorary military title, meant absolutely nothing). She was let out early to escort Cham to their next class, provided that she promised not to hurt her too much. There was much bickering between the two as they headed for Transfiguration, and it involved Cham kicking Maia in the shin, and Maia spouting out curses at Cham.

They were interrupted by a very tall Slytherin on his way to the quidditch field. Will Avery. He glanced their way, and grinned at Maia. Maia smiled back nervously. As he disappeared down a corridor, Cham looked at Maia, "Why did he smile at **you**? You're so mean…you know, he's **mean **too—he shouldn't be allowed to smile."

"I don't know," Maia stared in the direction he had gone. "Maybe I'm in trouble or something." She mused on the subject the entire week until, one afternoon, during a free period after Potions, she found herself procrastinating her Transfiguration homework.

Cham, coming from Drawing and the Art of Magic (or Doodling class in Maia's words), interrupted Maia's thoughts. "Maia, that mean, dirty piece of poop Avery was asking where you were. I think he wants to talk to you about something."

Maia glanced up wondering why Avery was suddenly so interested in her? Did he need help with runes again? She stood, groaning—still very sore—and left the room. She quite literally ran into Avery in one of the corridors, in front of a rather ugly statue of a wizard with no teeth.

"Forthe, I've been looking for you." He smiled, seeing her surprised face.

"So I heard," Maia replied blankly.

"Look, I just wanted to let you know that the first Hogsmeade trip is tomorrow and…you know," he rubbed the back of his neck nervously with a hand, "I just thought…you might want to go with me."

Maia quite nearly choked, and she didn't trust herself to speak for quite a while. "I…I—you…me…we…wow—this is…very…er—wow…" she stuttered.

"Great, I'll meet you in the courtyard at ten tomorrow morning," he sauntered off, feeling very smug.

Maia stared after him, her eyes wide. "That could not have gone any worse."

"I'll say," piped up Cham, who had followed Maia and hid behind the statue. "What are you going to tell Snape? Does he know you're cheating on him?"

"I am not cheat—" she cut herself off abruptly, quickly melting into the shadows behind the statue of the ugly wizard.

Cham wondered what Maia was doing until she heard footsteps and that familiar drawling voice, "Where's Forthe, Charm?"

"Oh—Professor Snape…er…Maia's not here right now. She's…um…doing homework."

"Why do I find myself not believing you?" He glanced carefully around, "I heard her shouting at you, Charm. I know she's nearby."

"Oh, no, Professor, that was me doing my Maia imitation." She struck a pose as Maia, glaring at an invisible person beside her, "'And you know what, Cham? You're an idiot!'" Cham looked up at Snape, a look of mock adoration on her face, "'Oh, Professor…you're so beautiful—'"

Snape immediately cut her off, "Don't **ever** do that again," and stalked off.

Maia, oddly enough, was doing her homework the next evening—or, at least, she was sulking in her chair, staring at the parchment. Interrupted—as usual—by Snape, she jumped when he came up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. Squeezing them gently, he murmured in her ear, "You're jumpier than usual, Forthe. Is something wrong?"

"N-no…I was just…startled, that's all."

He touched her cheek, "Perhaps you should come with me."

Maia's eyes widened, "No! I mean…I have…Runes homework…it's really…I mean…well…you see…" She trailed off, finishing weakly, "Yeah…homework."

Raising an eyebrow sceptically, he reluctantly stepped back. Since when did Maia actually do her homework? Glancing down at her parchment, he received his answer: she didn't. "Forthe, your translation is wrong," he stated, as he turned away.

Maia covered her paper protectively, "No it isn't! How do you know?"

"That abnormally long draconic phrase does not translate into the number seven," he replied without turning around. His feelings were hurt.

She looked at her paper. Indeed, all she had written underneath the runes was 'seven.' Cham plopped down into a chair next to Maia before she could respond.

"Evenin', Professor; hey, Maia," she greeted them both, scribbling things down onto a very tattered piece of parchment. She paused for a moment and looked up at Maia. Gazing back down at her List, she asked in an absent voice, "How was Hogsmeade, Maia? Have fun with Averyy?"

"Uh, who?" Maia attempted to warn Cham with a glare.

Snape, an expert at espionage, didn't turn around, just listening as Cham continued.

She had looked up from her List, "You know, Will Avery…the Averyy-hearted? Captain of the Slytherin quidditch team? The guy who's been held back who knows how many times? The guy—"

"I **know** who he is, Cham!" Maia snapped, "Now just shut up before—" she had meant to say 'before things go from bad to worse' but things very suddenly went from worse to worst.

"Hey, Forthe, I had a great time at Hogsmeade," Avery approached, "Who knew you could drink so much butterbeer? Look, I gotta hurry, but I'll see you around sometime. You like flying, right?"

Maia could only nod weakly.

"Great. Maybe I'll see you on the field sometime." Then, as quickly as he had appeared, he left.

Maia could sense the cold icy glare she was receiving as Snape, once more, placed his hands on her shoulders, his grip vicelike.

"Hogsmeade, hmm?" He asked in a quiet voice.

She flinched, "Yeah…Hogsmeade."

"And I suppose you had a wonderful time."

"Well…you know…we…er…perhaps…maybe…possibly…I mean…not really, sir, no…"

"Oh, please, do enlighten us. I'm sure Charm is dying to hear all about it." His voice was bitter and biting.

"No…really…I…we just…sat there…you know…um…yeah…"

He glared down at her, "I don't think you're telling me everything, **Miss** Forthe."

"…" She cringed beneath his blood-curdling glare.

"My office. Now." He pointed to the door.

Once there, he cornered Maia, advancing on her until she backed up into a chair, her knees buckling. She fell into the chair with an abrupt cry of surprise.

He paced in front of her for a few moments before turning to her, placing his hands on the chair's armrests and leaning in near, his nose nearly touching hers. "What were you and Avery doing at Hogsmeade?"

"Drinking a lot of butterbeer," Maia replied.

"Oh, really? I never would have guessed," he replied acidly. "Tell me, why did Avery think it was any of his business to even **take** you to Hogsmeade?"

"I dunno, why don't you ask **him**?"

"So you won't tell me what happened, will you." He snarled, "Well, then I suppose you'll just have to **show** me."

Maia shut her eyes tightly, "No I won't." She paused before adding, "Professor, you really don't want to watch two teenagers just sit around and talk, do you?" She fidgeted nervously.

"Oh, I think I do." He forced her chin up, his eyes bored into hers, and she felt that familiar sense that she was being hurtled through space and time, back to Hogsmeade.

_"Forthe, you made it." Avery smiled, greeting Maia, "I almost thought you wouldn't come."_

_Maia gave a sort of half smile in reply, thinking to herself—_I thought so too_—as he led her from the courtyard. Passing through the gates, Avery looked down at her with a smile, taking her hand in his. _

_Stiffening, Maia pulled her hand away, "Oh! Wow, I almost forgot…I need—er—I forgot my money back in the dormitory."_

_Avery stopped her, "Don't worry. I'll cover it."_

_Maia smiled nervously, "Right…thanks…" _

_In Hogsmeade, Avery asked, "Where to? We could go to Zonkos…the Hogs Head…Honeydukes—" _

"_Er…How about the Three Broomsticks?"_

_Avery seemed to think about this for a moment, and finally coming to the conclusion that it was alright, he acceded, "Yeah, alright."_

_Five butterbeers seemed to loosen Maia up. Much laughing and an empty pocket later, Avery put his hand on Maia's, "I had a really great time, Forthe. It was interesting, getting to know you better and all that stuff." _

"_Yeah, I guess it wasn't so—" Maia was cut off as Avery leaned in and kissed her delicately. "Wow…" She whispered dazedly. _

"'_Wow' is right, Forthe. Where'd you learn to kiss like that?"_

Snape had decidedly seen enough. Maia was brought back to the present, back into a dark dungeon office, and back in front of a very angry professor.

"Get. Out." His face was that of a man who clearly did not wish to be tampered with.

Maia. Got. Out.

Dumbledore sat at his desk, alone in his office save the numerous pictures of Headmasters/mistresses past. Something had gone wrong. How dare it. He sighed, sensing a troubled person approaching.

Bursting into the room, Snape looked around quickly, whirling when Dumbledore gave a faint greeting, "Severus."

"Headmaster—" Snape said curtly, apparently not in the mood for trivialities, "I need to use your pensieve."

Dumbledore swept his blackened hand over the pensieve that lay on his desk, "Please, I find I have altogether too few memories in it."

Leaning over it, Snape placed his wand to his temple, withdrawing a silvery strand from his head. Putting it in the pensieve, he proceeded to remove several more memories with hurried flicks of his wrist. Dumbledore just watched with mild interest.

Snape finally looked up, appearing much more relieved. "Thank you, Headmaster."

Dumbledore smiled, nodding as Snape left. He called softly, "Severus," Snape turned slightly, halting momentarily as the old wizard continued, "Sometimes I find it best to forgive…not just forget."

The younger of the two wizards did not acknowledge that he had heard, continuing out the door.

X…X

"Hey, Forthe! Wait up!"

Maia tensed up momentarily before forcing herself to relax. Turning, she forced a smile as Avery jogged up to her.

"I hear Snape's been givin' you a bit of a hard time since last week."

Maia looked up at him, "Just a little." She did not mention the fact that he had not failed once to humiliate her with impossibly difficult questions, longer assignments, and several stinging remarks. She felt angry enough without bringing those topics up.

"So…you need any help?"

Maia shook her head, "No, thanks…I'm alright."

He persisted, "I think you need to relax a bit. We could go for a walk in the gardens or out by the forest…"

"Don't you think it's a little dangerous with the Dark Lord out and all that?"

Avery scoffed, "You-Know-Who wouldn't dare set foot on Hogwarts grounds. Trust me, it'll be fun." He took her hand and started leading her outside.

Maia followed grudgingly, reasoning to herself—_Well it isn't like I have a reason to turn him down…not after Professor Fathead decided to hate me_—

X…X

Being all alone was no fun. In fact, it stunk. No matter what he tried to say to himself, nothing could replace Maia. All the free time he now had was wasted—he couldn't concentrate enough to plan his lessons, grade homework, or even tinker around with his potions. Relaxing became a faint dream, not even a memory. He was so tense, he could feel his mind slipping from that strong barrier against his thoughts and memories to a wimpy door, open to anything or anyone who wanted to see inside.

He could just see Voldemort or Dumbledore, anyone interested in penetrating his deepest, innermost thoughts. Yes, just look at them. _'Let's storm the castle…see what Severus has to think about this topic…'_ _'Right…but it might be difficult…he's a damned good Occlumens…'_ See them, rushing at the gates, only to find that the castle had been reduced to a smouldering pile of ash. _'Well this should be easy…'_ _'Sure, now that all we have to do is walk right in…'_ _'Wow…I can see everything from here…' 'Ooh, I didn't know that…this might come in handy…' 'Hmm…I didn't know about this…here, take a look…' 'Ha ha, this is great! Now I can laugh at his expense whenever I want…'_

At this rate, he might as well shout out his thoughts to the entire wizarding community. He thanked Merlin that he didn't have to teach Occlumency to Potter anymore, or that fatheaded little weasel just might find out that—Right: he had to figure out some way to right things before he went insane.

Maia, yes: Maia.

Snape could sense her; she was in the common room. _—Good—_he thought as he came to the entrance. _—Not good—_he thought when he saw not only Maia, but Avery in a corner, wrapped around each other. If he was correct, it seemed Avery was enjoying himself immensely, his hands both clutching Maia's waist very tightly as he kissed her.

On the other hand, Maia's thoughts gave Snape courage. It seemed that he was not the only person who couldn't sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about him! _—Very good—_he thought, approaching swiftly.

He tore them apart quite literally, taking Avery from Maia by the shoulder, murmuring in his best sinister voice, "That's about a month's detention right there, Avery. And as for you," he turned to Maia, who glared back indignantly. With a smile, he took Avery's place, resuming his own place and kissing Maia abruptly. _–**Extremely **good—_he thought when Maia put her hands on his waist, leaning into him.

"Professor…" Maia began before he kissed her again.

"What?"

"You just blew our secret."

"Don't care," he shrugged it off, pulling her tightly against him. "Oh…and I forgive you."

Both angry souls were appeased and very busy for the rest of that night.


	20. Mission Suicide XX

Today was the day, Cham thought darkly to herself. Getting ready, she glanced at Maia, who was still drooling on her pillow, fast asleep. _–Ha ha, and Maia's going to help me, without even knowing it!—_ Maia's leg twitched in response. Cham glared at it.

Turning, she reached under her own pillow and removed the—much battered—List. She glanced over it, reading each of the forty-seven items on it. She read the title out loud, "Fifty Ways to Make Snape Hate You. This is going to be a long day," she said in her best imitation of James Bond. Facing Maia again, she leapt onto her friend, jumping on the bed, "Maiamaiamaia! You monkeybuttfacechickenlegfartingcowpiewithdogpoopontop! Get up!"

Maia shrieked, "I'm up, I'm up!" Falling out of bed, she suddenly realized nothing earth-shattering had happened—just Cham.

"What **do** you **want**, Cham?" She growled at her friend.

"Today is the day," Cham said in her Bond voice.

"Alright, did you get into my secret candy stash again?" Maia asked suspiciously as Cham circled her.

Cham ignored her. Maia had too many questions. She decided not to let her friend in on the mission just yet. She stashed the List in her pocket and shrugged, "Time for Transfiguration, Maia."

Maia groaned, "I** know**. I was trying to sleep in and fake sick today."

"Too bad," Cham smiled disarmingly, or at least as innocently as was possible for this demon child.

After Transfiguration, Cham and Maia walked to their next class, which was Defence Against the Dark Arts. Maia found herself dreading to face Snape, and it didn't help that Cham was acting odder than usual.

Before they stepped into the classroom, Cham stopped and took a few deep breaths. "This is it," she said quietly to herself, "The moment of reconciliation has come!"

Maia glanced at her friend. "Where did you learn **that **word?"

Cham looked at her haughtily, "'Come' is a very common word in **normal** peoples'es vobaculary, Maia."

"Never mind," muttered Maia, rolling her eyes.

They waited outside the room with all the other students until Snape burst out of the room, looking rather nasty and grumpy.

"Uh oh," Maia whispered.

Cham grinned maniacally, glaring evilly at Snape as she passed him. For the first time in his life, he looked a little intimidated.

They sat down at their seats, which Cham thought was all part of her plan. "That's right, you just keep thinking I'm following your rules," she said under her breath.

Snape instructed them to open their text books, which was, of course, the second step to Cham's plan. After he assigned them an impossible number of pages to read during class time ("I knew it," Cham whispered to herself), Cham executed her next move. She stood up and walked over to Snape's desk. Maia tried to ignore the fact that her friend was most likely walking towards impending doom.

"Good afternoon, Professor!" said Cham in a mock-cheerful voice.

"It's morning, Charm," said Snape without looking up.

"Professor, I would just like to let you know…" she paused, took a deep breath, and then said in a menacing whisper, "That I'm existing."

He paused in his correcting of essays and looked up at her with his impatient teacher look. "Go exist back at your **desk**, Charm."

Cham snapped her fingers in frustration. "Dang, it's not working yet," she said quietly. Then louder, "I'll be back, Professor."

"You had better hope you won't," said Snape.

Cham whirled in her departure and leaned on his desk. "Aha! So my plan is working!" she grinned at him. Before he could respond, Cham said, "And now for number two," she leaned close to Snape and sniffed loudly, inhaling the air. Her nose almost touched his as she said mysteriously, "I'm breathing, Professor."

"If you don't go back to your desk, you won't be in a minute," he responded darkly.

"I'm breathing **your air**, Professor," said Cham. There was an audible whack as Maia, hearing everything, slammed her head on the desk.

Cham moved onto number three quickly, before her prey could fall out of her quickly tightening grasp. "Guess what, Professor?" she didn't give him time to speak. "I'm a girl…and I'm not Maia!" she started to laugh.

"Thank Merlin," said Snape. He would have just given her detention and sent her out of the classroom, but a sick part of him wanted to know what Cham would do next.

Cham decided it was time to go on without hesitations. "And do you know what else? I'm Cham!"

"So it seems."

"And I'm in Slytherin!"

"Thank you for stating the obvious facts."

"I have black hair!" Cham crowed triumphantly, "And you are jealous, cause yours is onyx!" she spat out the word "onyx" like it was a curse word.

Cham dropped a stack of paper that she pulled out of her pocket on his desk. "This is my 115 page story…about you! I'm in your class!" she continued without pausing, "I'm not a vampire!"

Snape rolled his eyes. "That's enough, Charm. Please see me after class so I can inform you of your detention."

Cham had begun to hum "Happy Days" loudly, but she stopped mid-note. "Aha! I am affecting you! You hate me now, and I'm only on number…" she paused and pulled out her List, "Seventeen! Oops, I missed a few…"

"I hated you before, Charm," Snape said dryly.

"My plan has succeeded! It was the most successful plan in the world! I didn't even need to go to number fifty, which was my most drasticic— wait, what?"

"I said I hated you before. Go back to your desk before your detention becomes worse than it already is."

Cham trudged sorrowfully back to her desk. "He ruined my plan!" she said angrily, and shook a fist at Snape's bent head, (he had gone back to grading essays, totally unperturbed by her interruption). "I'll get him back…I'll bring him down!" she muttered darkly. She flipped open her notebook to a page titled "Mission: Suicide." She crossed out the "suicide" and wrote, in her spelling, "kameekazee."

"Oh no…" Maia groaned, "You aren't going to do number—"

"Professor?" said Cham innocently, raising her hand in the air. Snape looked up at her, annoyance flashing in his eyes.

"What, Charm? If you intend to keep interrupting my grading…"

Cham interrupted, and said, in her loudest, evilest voice, "Snapey dear, you left your pink panties in my dormitory last night!"

There was a long silence. Every student had given up pretending to read their assignment and were all staring at Snape, waiting for his reply. His eye twitched dangerously, but the rest of him remained still, apparently in shock.

Maia muttered to herself, "Oh no, Cham's even worse because now she doesn't care about the consequences!"

Cham stood, grinning triumphantly. "I knew I would get you! You can do whatever you want to me, even hang me from the highest spire of the school by my own plethora! It doesn't matter; I got you!"

Maia yanked Cham down into her seat by the hem of her sleeve, "Just to let you know, Cham, there is nothing I can do that will protect you now."

Cham seemed to have cooled off a bit, and she glanced nervously in Snape's direction. He stood and approached her slowly, menacingly. Cham's life flashed before her eyes; she wailed, laughed at the funny parts, and then wailed again when she blinked and found Snape towering over her.

One student muttered, "She's finally lost it."

"Maia! Save me!" Cham clung to her friend, who slid out of her grasp.

"I had nothing to do with this, Professor," she stated quickly.

He ignored her, glaring at Cham, who whimpered, "I'm alone…by myself… completely deserted…alone…with myself…and no one else…lonely…so cold…" she stared up with wide eyes at the icy glare she was receiving.

"In. My. Office. NOW." He pointed to the door. As she passed him, she noticed that his hand was shaking, his lips curled into a furious snarl.

"You're…really…mad—" She said in a faint voice, keeling over and collapsing on the floor, crumbling into a million little pieces—figuratively speaking, of course.

He directed Maia toward the door with the same furious look, "You too." Flicking his wand at Cham, he levitated her off the floor, guiding the two unruly students (Or totally innocent in Maia's case) back to the dungeons. It was clear to him—in a time like this—why he had kept his old, scary office.

Once there, Maia sat down in a chair, her face white. Snape flicked his wand again and Cham dropped painfully back down onto the floor.

"Ow…" she muttered in a muffled voice.

"Don't speak, Charm."

Cham sat up, holding her knees protectively to her chest, "But…it's too late now, isn't it?" She said in a small voice.

Maia shot her friend a glance, too horrified to be angry. She just stared ahead, glancing intermittently from Cham to Snape, and back again. She gulped, knowing this would definitely not be a pleasant experience.

Snape paced, back and forth, back and forth. That wasn't a good sign. When he spoke, it was in a deathly quiet voice, and he didn't look up, staring at the ground as he paced. "Charm, your list." He stopped pacing, approaching Cham and holding out his hand.

"It's not a 'list,' Professor; it's a List…" she glanced up at his face—which had gone white—his bared teeth warning her not to waste time, "Right…here you go." She handed it reluctantly to him.

He read it quickly, both girls watching his face nervously. He betrayed no emotion as he refolded it and tossed it into the fireplace, where flames engulfed it. Cham watched it burn with a look of utter dismay and longing. "My List…" she said faintly, reaching out towards it in a futile gesture. Snape strategically placed his foot on her hand as if he were squishing a rather annoying bug. Cham's sorrow was directed to this other matter, "My hand!" He lifted his foot with a faint look of pleasure, and Cham snatched her hand away, clutching it protectively to her, "My bones…" She gazed up at the murderous look on Snape's face, "…my life…"

Maia couldn't help laughing.

Snape whirled on her for breaking the tense mood. "Forthe—" he began, but didn't trust himself to continue in a professional manner. Finally, after a long, drawn out, extremely quiet silence, he spoke in a soft voice, "I'll return momentarily. Contemplate your fate while I am gone." He emphasized the word 'fate' as if to make it clear that their fates did not include long lives.

"Okay," Cham squeaked sadly from the floor, still gazing into the fire. As soon as he left, she inhaled deeply, "I can still smell my List…oh, my poor beloved List…"

Maia kicked her, "Shut up, you dolt. We have more to worry about than a stupid piece of paper…" looking around furtively, she helped Cham up, continuing, "He went into the back room…the **very** back room…that isn't good."

Cham blinked, "What's back there? The torture chamber?" Her eyes widened, "What instruments of painful doom and death does he **have** back there?"

Maia shrugged, "I don't know. Even I'm not allowed back there."

"Wow, that **is** bad!" Cham started to ponder all the things that could happen to her—and Maia—but worse, **her**. She began to list out various harmful tools with wide eyes, "Knives…steely knives…those sharp knives…and dull ones…and the skinny ones…and the **big** ones!…and the butcher ones…and the pocket ones…and the butter ones…" she suddenly screeched, "NO! NOT THE BUTTER KNIVES!!!"

Neither of the girls knew that Snape, at that moment, was sitting in the back room, the **very** back room (which was just a wine cellar), chuckling and enjoying a drink, especially after hearing Cham's incessant screeching. He decided, finally, that it was time to get back to business, and he replaced his pleased expression with the not-so-pleased one.

He emerged, holding something behind his back in one hand. Cham's eyes widened, "No…Professor—you can't…I'm a **student**…you can't do this to me!" She shrieked, "I can't take it anymore!" She raced out of the room, the door slamming behind her as she ran, screeching all the way, down the halls.

Snape turned to Maia, speaking quietly, "That felt so good." He allowed Maia to see what he had behind his back: two glasses and a wine bottle.

"Professor? I thought…Cham…underwear…List…"

He shushed her, levitating a glass of wine her way, "Regrettably, I wasn't planning on **that** particular part, but one must make sacrifices, hmm?" He raised his glass, "To idiots."

Maia hesitantly raised her glass, hoping this wasn't a cruel trick. Normally he didn't let her have alcohol. Of course, she didn't bring this subject up. She quietly muttered, "To Cham." Taking a sip, she looked up at him questioningly, "But Professor—why are you doing this? Why did—"

He tapped his temple with a forefinger, "Ordinarily I don't associate the fine art of Legilimency with mind-reading, but in Charm's case…let's just say her mind was an open book." Maia's face must have still shown confusion, and he added, "It was all part of my plan, Forthe." He drank the rest of his wine, "And she fell right into it."

"You knew?"

"Not the finer details, otherwise I would have stopped it before…" he trailed off, waving his hand, "but that doesn't matter. By tomorrow morning, everybody will know about the horrible torture Charm went through. That is, providing I can trust you…" He looked meaningfully at Maia.

"Right…I won't tell…I promise."

He helped her up out of her chair, winding his arm lazily around her waist and kissing her, "Good." He removed the empty glass from her hand, moving suggestively closer, "And now, for the rest of my plan…" He took her hand in his, lacing his fingers through hers and kissing her favourite place, that one little corner of her jaw just under her ear.

"You really are a fox, you know that? Tricking poor Cham—" Maia stated, although she put her hands on his shoulders, leaning into him as he kissed her again.

"Mmm…yes, I'll agree with you there," he murmured against her lips, "but if you think for one minute that she didn't deserve it I'll…"

She looked impishly up at him, "You'll what?"

He toyed with the top button of her shirt, wondering how long it would take to remove it. "I'm beginning to get an idea…"

Maia raised an eyebrow, "Don't tell me you have **another** plan in mind."

He kissed her once more, "Alright, I won't."

The conversation lagged for many minutes after that.

Cham, meanwhile, had devised another List, and had already added four things onto it. "Ten Ways to Doom Yourself to a Horribly Painful Death And Eternal Suffering…Not Necessarily in That Order." So far it read:

Be Cham in class when Snape is the teacher.

Say anything that might insult Snape to his face. (Actually, you shouldn't do this to his back, either).

Say anything at all to Snape's face.

Be Cham.

Maia came into the room just as Cham was appraising her new List. She dropped something into Cham's lap, stating, "Boxers, green."

Cham held the silky green item up, "I see that. What are they for?"

"To wear, Cham," Maia replied sarcastically.

She looked at them, "But they're not my size!"

Maia groaned, "They aren't for **you** to wear!"

"Oh…then why did you give them to me?"

Maia glared at her friend, getting up and stalking back toward the door, "Figure it out yourself! I'm going to class now."

Cham looked from the boxers to the door, scribbling something else onto her list.

Make Maia mad.

Maia remained distant from Cham for the rest of the day, and Cham remained in the dark. She was so confused she hardly ate, and sleep was but a fond memory as she stared at the boxers in the dark. Why had Maia given her underwear? The least she could have done was get her size. But it wasn't for her to wear, Maia had said so herself. Well who else would wear green boxers? Obviously they would have to be in Slytherin (although it took Cham a while to realize that they couldn't belong to a Gryffindor student). Well, what about Dumbledore? No, Maia didn't have access to his boxers, not after she had stuffed the pair Crabbe stole for her on his head. Finally, realization dawned on her as the sun dawned on the school.

"Eew, eew, EEWWWWWWW!"

Maia groaned and sat up, only to be hit in the face with a pair of flying boxers. "What now, Cham?"

"You **deceived** me!" Cham shrieked, "First the philosophical discussions—and now Snape's underwear!"

"What?" Maia blinked sleepily, "I don't—"

"Don't pretend you didn't lie to me, you butt. You told me he didn't wear any."

"Well **you** believed me! I was being sarcastic!"

The other three girls in the dormitory watched in fascination as Maia and Cham attacked each other. They caused such a chaotic chaos that it attracted even the attention of Snape. He hesitated going into the girl's dormitory, but when he saw the blood seeping down into the common room, he decided he should probably check up on Maia and subdue Cham.

"That was my water," complained one of the Slytherin girls after Cham had knocked the glass over with her elbow.

"Yeah well," retorted Cham as Maia's growling became fiercer. "Go become a dirty piece of poop, Water-less Girl!"

Maia grabbed her by the bangs and banged her head against the wall. The other Slytherins oohed and ahhed as they finally got a chance to see the colour of Cham's eyes. (You'll never know…) She was very mad that Cham had not only spilled the Slytherin girl's water, but had broken the bottle of powdered centaur blood she had spent (and now wasted) fifty galleons on. Snape was relieved to find that this was the source of the blood.

"Maia…ow…this…ow…hurts…ow…can…ow…we stop…ow…please?" Cham's head was getting tired of hitting the stone wall. (And the stone wall was getting tired of hitting her head).

Maia decided to stop. She didn't want to make Cham any stupider than she already was, if that was possible. Cham rubbed her head and glared at the wall. "Stupid wall. Why'd you have to be so hard?"

Maia smacked her, "You idiot! Your head's so thick you probably injured the wall worse than your stupid head!"

"Ha ha, Maia, you're stupid. My head is an inarticulate object so it can't do stuff like that cause it doesn't have a brain. See, my head doesn't have a brain."

Maia choked back a giggle.

"Stop making fun of me! I are not stupid!" Cham struck an imitation of a smart pose, "The inner machinations of my mind are an eggnog."

"Don't you mean an enigma?"

"No. That's the funny stuff you always drink at Christmas."

Maia chose not to correct her friend; it would only confuse her more. Snape decided to intervene and grabbed Cham by the collar of her robes, picking her up and staring her straight in the eye (or in her case, the bangs). "What in the seven hells are you **doing**?"

"Well…I'm dangling…hanging…my feet can't touch the floor…I can feel my fingers going numb…do I need to be doing anything else?" She held her hands up innocently, showing the source of their contention.

"What is that?" He indicated the green boxers.

"These?" She quickly hid them behind her back. "Nothing. See? They're gone." Unfortunately, the damage was done.

He dropped Cham onto the floor, "Forthe—"

Maia, who had been slinking out the door, cursed under her breath, "Yes, Professor?" She asked very nervously.

Cham suddenly had an apostrophe (epiphany…whatever), "Hey Maia? I don't know what's worse…the fact that Snape wouldn't be wearing underwear…or the fact that he is and they're green." She paused, saying sadly, "Guess green can't be my favourite colour anymore…" She closed her eyes tightly, "I'm scarred for life." She saw Snape glare at her, "Let me rephrase that…I'm scared for my life." Once more she paused before suddenly shrieking, "NOT THE BUTTER KNIVES!" she scooted rear-first underneath her bed. "Don't worry Maia, I'm not the monster under the bed…but don't tell Snape that…" She whispered to herself, "Maybe I'll grab his ankles when he walks by."

He ignored her, although he took great care not to walk too close to her bed. "Forthe, where did you get these?" They were now alone in the room (the other three girls having disappeared when they saw their 'gentleman caller'). He backed her up against the wall, glaring suspiciously at her.

"Cham, having a genuine curiosity of things, wanted to know," Maia stated, cautiously sidestepping him.

"Well you tell her to keep her curiosity where it belongs: somewhere else!"

"I'm right here, you know!" Cham called from under the bed. There was a loud bump and cursing as she cried, "Oh no! I gave away my hiding place!" Unfortunately for her, there was much more cursing involved in her detention that night.


	21. Heated Emotions

Cham got back late that night, looking flushed, worn out, and angry. Maia was already lying on her bed, her eyes closed and her hands clasped on top of her stomach. She looked as if she was going to be sick, and that she was trying to postpone it as long as possible. Of course, Cham was not moved.

Drawing aside the curtains the rest of the way, she gritted at Maia, "You butt! Why'd you go and get me into trouble like that?"

Maia took a few deep breaths before responding—her eyes still closed—"I didn't. Snape did."

"Sure you didn't. You're just the one who stole his boxers," Cham grumbled.

"So? He's the one who gave you detention. I didn't…" Maia swallowed the rest of her sentence, feeling extremely ill.

"Didn't what? Can you not think of a good answer?" Cham flopped her rear down on Maia's bed, taking her by the collar, "I HATE tedention!"

"Cham," Maia croaked in a strangled voice, "stop…"

Cham dropped her friend onto her back, "What? Am I hurting you?"

Maia gasped, "Yes, Cham, you **are **hurting me…" She looked positively green.

"What's wrong, Fruit Loop? Can't take the guilt?"

"Go away," Maia waved her friend off weakly, closing the curtains. Seconds later, her voice came from behind the curtains, "Cham, I think something's wrong with me…"

"No, really? Go see Madame Pomfrey."

"I don't want to."

"Well…er…feel better then."

"That helps a lot," Maia said sarcastically.

"You don't have to be a butt about it."

"And you don't have to be stupid about it."

"If you're going to insult me then I won't help."

"Cham, you couldn't help if you tried." Maia sat up and slid off her bed, making her way dejectedly toward the door, "I'm going to find **real** help."

Cham stared at her friend as she left, sticking her tongue out as Maia passed her. "Butt."

Maia wandered the dungeons, finally deciding that Snape was her best bet at help. Nobody else could find out what was wrong with her—well—nobody that she trusted. She drifted into Snape's office, hoping she could just curl up in his chair and wait until he found her. Unfortunately, his chair was still occupied by a very grumpy occupant.

Snape, bent over a pile of essays, didn't even look up as he asked, "What are you doing up so late, Forthe?"

She shuffled her feet, "I don't feel good."

He snorted, "Perhaps you should go to sleep then."

"I've tried that. I can't."

Looking up, he removed the reading spectacles from his face (don't worry if you've never heard that he has these: he likes to keep it a secret) and gazed impatiently at her as he asked, "Do I bear some resemblance to Madame Pomfrey, or are you just lost?"

"I don't want to **see **Madame Pomfrey! That's why I came **here**!" She shouted, flopping down on the ground.

"What makes you think that I can help you? I still have twenty-three poorly written papers to correct!"

"But I have a problem," Maia argued weakly.

He sighed, helping her up, "Alright. What is wrong with you?"

Maia shrugged, "I feel…funny. Like my whole body's fallen asleep or something. You know…all tingly." She illustrated by wiggling her fingers.

"You are beginning to sound like Charm," Snape took her hands in his, sitting her down in a chair beside him. He noticed that she was cold to the touch. Something was definitely not right. "What else has been bothering you?" His tone was more concerned.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I just feel different."

Snape seemed as if he was beginning to get an idea. "You're in season."

"I thought only animals did that," Maia seemed a little repulsed by this thought.

"You're half dragon."

"Well then why would the doctor say I couldn't have kids?"

Snape snorted derisively, "Muggles. Of course you can have children. Your cycle is just longer than normal humans'."

"How much longer?"

"Three years."

"Oh." A sudden thought struck Maia's mind, "But…I'm not going to get in trouble, am I? Voldemort won't get angry with you?"

"Don't say his name," Snape instructed absently. He thought for a moment before replying slowly, "No, I don't see why he should particularly care..." He looked Maia straight in the eyes, adding, "You mustn't say anything about this to anyone."

Maia nodded, a little intimidated by his dark tone. She finally muttered, "Thank you."

"Just go to sleep now." He waved her in the direction of the bedroom.

"Shouldn't I go back to my dormitory?"

"No," he replied sharply. "You cannot associate with anybody in this state."

"But I'm associating with—"

"Go," he ordered sternly.

"Okay, okay," Maia slinked out of Snape's office and into the back room. It was dark, but she could navigate by the slivers of moonlight that filtered in from windows high above in the vaulted room.

Sliding tiredly between the sheets, Maia inhaled deeply. Mmm, she liked that smell. The faint odour of potion ingredients, books, and a slight hint of chamomile. It made her sleepy. Her eyelids drooped slowly closed and she was soon curled up in tight ball, waiting for sleep to come.

X…X

It was at least another two hours before Snape finally decided it was time to retire to his room, and he reluctantly put down his quill and stole quietly into the bedroom. Maia immediately felt the slight depression he made when he sat on the edge of the bed, but she waited for him to actually get underneath the blankets before she curled up to him, putting her hand to his chest. He let his arm find its way around her waist (since it seemed to always want to do that) and he murmured softly in her ear, "Couldn't sleep?"

Maia shook her head, "I was waiting for you."

He chuckled and kissed her, "You should have told me. I would have been here much sooner."

She just smiled and rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes. She sighed. Maybe now she could sleep…

Morning came bright and early—**too** early. Maia, who had gotten absolutely no sleep, clung to Snape as he started to slowly wake up. He wasn't going to leave her, was he?

Blinking, he found himself staring into Maia's wide iridescent eyes. "What, Forthe?" He asked with a groan as he sat up. "Don't tell me it's already time to—" he checked the time, suddenly leaping to his feet, cursing.

Maia crawled unhappily from the bed, standing sleepily, "You aren't leaving, are you?"

"Of course I am," he grumbled as he pulled on his pants, "I have a job to do."

"But…how are you going to make sure I stay put?"

He paused, his fingers slipping slowly from one of his shirt buttons, giving her that inquiring look. "You are going to stay put, aren't you?" He asked in that quiet, careful voice.

She backed up, sitting down on the bed, eyeing his wand as he lazily twirled it in a hand, "Yes…"

"Good." He tucked his wand away, bending and kissing Maia on the cheek, "I'll be back later, for now just stay here."

Maia did so, bored nearly to tears. All she could think about was men—well, Avery too, but he didn't really count. She wondered what Cham was doing, what classroom she was sitting in. By now she was in Defence Against the Dark Arts with Snape. Maia smiled dazedly. Lying back down, Maia found it easy to drift off to sleep, thinking of Snape. If only he were there…

"Forthe? Forthe, get up. You need to eat."

Maia sat up, smiling sleepily at Snape as he pushed something into her hands—a sandwich. He seemed rather annoyed at something, considering that he was pacing around the room. After she ate, Maia stood and halted him, kissing his chin, "What's wrong, Professor?"

"Nothing," he lied.

Maia toyed with the clasp of his cloak. It fell to the floor. His waistcoat soon followed, and she was halfway down his shirt when he finally put a stop to it, "Forthe, I already told you we cannot do this."

She looked up at him, "Are you sure?" When he nodded reluctantly, she stated, "I believe that is the first time you have ever turned me down."

"This is also the first time you have been in heat." He reached around her, picked up a few papers, and added, "Now go to bed. You look exhausted."

Maia pulled a face at him, but eventually crawled under the sheets and curled up sullenly. She sulked for the rest of the day. Things got worse late that night. Snape stayed up late again, finishing his work and letting Maia sleep. He began to feel a dull ache in his back, and he decided it was time to stop for the night. It was a surprise to him when he found Maia wide awake, twisted into an uncomfortable looking position and grimacing.

"Forthe?" He sat beside her, reaching out to touch her cheek.

She flinched, "Don't touch me," she stated hoarsely.

"What's wrong?"

"I **hurt**." She answered angrily, "And you would too if you had a menstrual cycle that's three years long. I have cramps."

"Stop complaining, Forthe; it can't be that bad."

She glared at him, "I bet my pain is the reason your back hurts."

He stared at her calculatingly, "How did you…"

"I just do, okay?"

Sighing, he stood, disappearing into another room for a moment before emerging with a small bottle. "Here," he handed it to Maia, "this should help."

She downed the entire vial, "Ah, painkiller," she sighed. After a few moments of waiting, she still felt just the same, and she glared up at him, "Why isn't it working?"

"You have to wait for it to set in," he replied, starting to undress.

Maia stared disapprovingly at him, "You aren't really going to try to sleep next to me, are you?"

"Where else?" He asked in disbelief.

"On the floor. I am in pain. Do not touch me."

He inched forward, daring Maia to follow up on her warning. There was a quick tousle and, though in agony, Maia managed to push him onto the floor. "Fine. I wasn't tired anyway," he said, sitting there in his shirtsleeves. Of course, that was a lie, and he soon nodded off, his head drooping as he slumped against the bed.

Maia felt better within the hour, and she guiltily woke Snape up, "You can sleep up here if you want. The potion worked."

He climbed hesitantly onto the bed, lying down carefully. "You aren't going to push me off this time?" He asked her sarcastically.

She scooted closer, "No." Her head dropped onto his shoulder, and he smiled at her, running his fingers absently through her hair. They were both exhausted, and it was hard to tell which of them was asleep first.

Of course, before he dropped off, Snape brushed Maia's cheek with his thumb, just watching her in boyish fascination as she started awake. Seeing that she wasn't in danger, Maia settled back down, smiling tiredly at Snape. Neither one spoke for a long time, until Snape brought up a subject that had been troubling him since the day before, when she had been thinking about him.

"Forthe…are you happy here?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I love Hogwarts…otherwise I wouldn't have come back after last year."

"I mean with me."

Maia laughed, "Of course, Silly. You think I would be here if I didn't?"

"What about Black? Or Avery?"

"Professor…" she looked down, "I get warm fuzzies whenever I see you." Pausing, she added, "I love you."

Snape put his arms around her, "I'm glad."

She snuggled up to him, "Now," she yawned, "can I go back to sleep?"

He hugged her tightly and muttered in her ear, "You'd better."

"Thanks."

It came as a very big shock the next morning when Snape found himself on the ground again. Had he just dreamt up those few hours last night? No: he assured himself that he wasn't going crazy. He suddenly felt a sharp pain in his spine. Maia was hurting again.

Getting up, he was buttoning his shirt when McGonagall came in. "Severus, I need those papers you—" she stared at him. He grinned at her like a schoolboy. "Why are you suddenly so…bouncy?" She asked.

His smile faded, "I am not bouncy."

"What is making you so happy?"

He pointed at the sleeping form on his bed.

"Miss Forthe is sleeping in your bed. How wonderful," McGonagall stated sarcastically.

"No. Better."

"Miss Forthe is sleeping with you in your bed. Congratulations," McGonagall seemed unmoved.

"But she loves me," he said it with a kind of awe that he hadn't felt for any girl since his school days.

"Enchanting," McGonagall stated flatly.

Snape returned to his cynical self, "I see you are deeply moved by this news."

"Extremely," McGonagall crossed her arms over her chest. "You know your actions are completely unethical—"

Snape waved her off, approaching Maia and touching her cheek.

Her hand suddenly smacked him in the face.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"I hurt again!"

"What do you expect me to do?"

"Give me more of that potion."

"You drank the last of it."

"Make more."

"It takes two days to make, Forthe," he answered coolly.

"Well get started!" She demanded, wincing as another sharp pain shot up her spine.

"Love…hmm, your definition differs from mine, Severus," McGonagall stated drolly as he passed her.

"Oh, do shut up."

"Is there anything I can do?" McGonagall ignored his last statement. "Take her to Madame Pomfrey, perhaps?"

"No. She refuses to go. You can sit there and pretend not to exist. In fact, why don't you leave?"

McGonagall huffed and went over to Maia, "What's wrong, Maia?"

"I hurt," Maia explained.

"So I see."

"Professor! Hurry up!" Maia called to Snape.

"I am **trying**!" Snape snapped irritably back.

"Perhaps I should do that, while you attend to the girl, Severus," McGonagall offered as Snape began stirring the beginnings of the painkilling potion.

Snape grudgingly allowed her to, instructing, "Four times clockwise then once counter clockwise. And don't forget to add the wolfsbane with the dragonfly wings. But don't add too much or—"

"Severus! I know how to brew this potion," McGonagall interrupted impatiently.

Snape sat beside Maia, stroking her hair as he replied, "That's funny, I remember hearing that a certain person received a 'Troll' in her Potions class fifty years ago."

"And I remember a certain student of mine trying to cheat on their Transfiguration NEWTS, **Severus**," McGonagall retorted acidly.

He ignored her pointedly. Maia, infuriated by the pain, slapped Snape's hands away, growling, "Go away! I hurt!"

"We have ascertained that fact already, Forthe!" He retaliated. "We are **trying** to help!"

McGonagall called from beside the cauldron, "Severus, you have an extremely poor bedside manner. Perhaps I should take over."

"Fine," Snape spat, and the two teachers traded places once more.

"Now please tell me what is wrong, Miss Forthe."

"I hurt and it won't go away!"

"Perhaps a bath would help, Forthe. The hot water might defrost you a bit," Snape suggested irritably.

"I don't think I can get there on my own," Maia stated.

"Take McGonagall with you."

"Excuse me! I am not a babysitter. You go, Severus. It was your brilliant idea," McGonagall stated indignantly.

"There is only one flaw in your logic. Once she walks into the girls bathroom, I can accompany her no farther."

"That didn't seem to deter you when you were a student," McGonagall muttered.

"I will ignore that if you will take that menace out of here," Snape stated coldly.

"I am not a menace, I am just in pain!" Maia called back as McGonagall helped her from the room.

"Don't argue, Miss Forthe. He'll just drag you down to his level. And since he's a man, that's a long way down."


	22. Rotten Revenge

_Maia came back into the room, feeling worse than she had earlier, and both she and McGonagall looked grumpy…and wet. Snape didn't bother looking up or even greeting them, completely absorbed in his task. Maia sat on the bed and gingerly laid back, trying to keep the pain to a minimum. McGonagall sat wearily in a nearby chair, not a happy person._

"_Severus," she called to him, over pronouncing the consonants so it sounded like SeVeRuSSSS. _

_He could hear the annoyance in her voice and chose to ignore her. In the deathly silent room, McGonagall knew that he had heard her. She repeated his name, louder this time. He did not respond. Finally, she drew in a deep breath "SEVERUS!"_

_Reluctantly he turned. "What?" His eyes narrowed in dislike and irritation._

_She nodded toward Maia, who was shivering so badly that her whole body shook, her teeth chattering so much that she could barely speak. _

"_Wh-why is it-t-t al-always m-m-me?"_

_Snape felt sincerely sorry for her (Wow! Amazing!), so he put off the potion and approached her. He climbed into the bed behind her, pulling her limp body up to his and gently stroking her arms to warm her body. McGonagall eyed the two warily. She did not approve…but she understood the predicament and decided that the papers could wait. She'd check in with Madam Pomfrey and see if she had anything that might help Maia._

_Meanwhile, Cham was sauntering down the halls at a slow pace, hoping to find Maia. After remembering what had happened recently, she wouldn't be surprised if Maia had found this a good time for a nice, private philosophical discussion. Her eyes narrowed; she hated Snape for taking her friend away. She wished there was some way to get her back…she couldn't bear the thought of having to find a new friend. Glaring at a random suit of armour, Cham growled and kicked its shin, "You stupid butt!"_

_Malfoy was wandering around, wondering about a similar topic. Why was Cham always completely oblivious to his approaches? Didn't she know he liked her? Stupid Cham. (A phrase a lot of people seemed to be saying lately.) …Maybe he should ask somebody…somebody with a lot of knowledge about girls…Professor Snape! _(haha)_ So he changed his wandering to a specific direction—the dungeons. _

_He came upon a very flustered Professor Snape in the hallway, the aforementioned professor pacing up and down outside his office._

"_Er…Professor," Malfoy addressed the harried professor._

_The elder man turned on him, "**What** do you **want**, Malfoy?" He snarled._

"_Er…uh…I was wondering if you could give me some advice on…a situation I happen to be in…right now." Draco looked at the ground, nervous and embarrassed, not to mention a little intimidated by the irate professor. _

"_Out with it, Boy!" Snape prompted him none too gently._

"_You see, Professor…there's this girl I really like and…I've been trying to get her attention for a while…but she just doesn't notice me," he concluded morosely. _

"_Well who is it?" Snape was becoming more and more irritated._

"_It's…uh…Cham, sir."_

_Snape stared at the student for a passing moment before bursting into hysterical laughter. Part of Hell froze over._

"_Sir?"_

"_Thank you, Malfoy. That's just what I needed," he chuckled. _

"_Sir? I was serious…what should I do?"_

_Snape stopped for a moment, "Either make the first move or please **Merlin,** leave her alone and forget about her…" he paused before adding, "And Malfoy? Let it be the latter of the two." He disappeared back into his office._

_Still chuckling slightly when he entered the back room, he was greeted by Maia, who was in a foul mood. "What the —censored— are you laughing about?" She groaned and turned over to face the wall._

"_Your idiot friend," he answered._

_She turned on him, searching for something to chuck, "Don't you dare make fun of my friend!" She found a shoe and hurled it across the room at him._

_It barely missed his head as he ducked._

"_Damn it, Forthe! Don't throw that at me!"_

"_Fine; I'll throw something else!" She reached for her belt, the black leather one with the steel buckle._

"_No!" He dashed behind a particularly large black cauldron, "Don't throw ANYthing!"_

"_Fathead," Maia growled, but she lowered her hand all the same._

_He approached cautiously, changing the subject. "Are you feeling any better?"_

_Maia frowned, "No."_

_He sat beside her, touching her cheek, "Look, Forthe, I wish there was a way to make you feel better right now…" he rubbed his temple with his free hand, "Believe me, I do."_

"_Only because you want your own room back."_

"_That is **not** true," he defended himself indignantly._

_He sighed and went to check on the potion. Glancing at the book, his mood suddenly brightened…(_uh oh

"_Well, Forthe, it's done if you want to use it."_

_Maia sat up painfully, and accusingly replied, "You said it would take two days to make."_

"_This is a different potion," he handed her the vial. He saw her suspicious look and added, "Don't worry. It's just a painkilling potion."_

_She cast him one more baleful stare before drinking the purple serum. "Bleh! This is nast—" It took effect almost immediately._

_Maia's entire body went limp, and she laid still, paralyzed. Her wide eyes glared at him._

_Snape smiled softly, "Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that one particular side effect."_

_She mumbled something incoherently. It sounded a lot like a string of very bad words._

_He just gave that annoying, deep throated laugh that he always used when laughing at others' expense, and kissed her briefly. "I like you better like this, anyway. You can't nag me…or throw things at me." _

_She just glared at him until Snape burst out laughing, "Go to sleep, Forthe. You need to attempt to go to class tomorrow. Now I have papers to grade. Don't wait for me." With that he left the room, leaving Maia alone._

"_Jerk," she thought before falling asleep. _

_Being in an irritable mood (even in her sleep), Maia did not sleep long. She got mad at the moon for shining on her face, and rolled over…wait…rolled! She could move again! She rolled too far and fell off the bed. _Well now_…she thought…_first things first…_It was time for revenge._

_Creeping—a bit unsteadily—toward the door, Maia glanced furtively into Snape's office. He was still working, his head bent over the papers. Occasionally he would pause; his quill poised over the parchment, before he'd look back down again and write. Maia grinned; he wasn't even suspicious…and she had a plan._

"_I know you're awake, Forthe," he called without even glancing up._

_Maia cursed. He was on to her. She'd have to wait…_

_Two days later, she was in the middle of her Transfiguration homework when a sudden epiphany struck her. "Yes!" She stood quickly, all her work falling on the floor. "Cham!" She grabbed her friend by the robes and whispered something in her ear. Cham's eyes got wide, but she nodded in assent. She understood the plan…it was a good plan._

_Removing her robe and fixing her shirt so it looked nice, Maia sauntered off to Snape's office. She knocked softly on the door, "Professor?"_

_He grunted his acknowledgement and she let herself in. He was sitting at his desk, grading papers. His back was to her. She came up behind him and ran her hands down his chest, kissing his neck. He turned around and drew her into a kiss. She started to pull her into the bedroom, but he resisted (a little reluctantly of course)._

"_I have work to finish, Forthe."_

_She shrugged, taking it rather well, "I'll wait for you then," and disappeared into the back room._

_Snape came into the room a few minutes later, looking relieved to be done with his work. Maia, it seemed, had already gotten comfortable, lying under the sheets, her whole body covered except her bare feet, which wiggled when he closed the door behind him. She knew he was in the room._

_Smiling imperceptivity (so…it was probably really hard to tell he was smiling), he softly approached, removing several restrictive items of clothing…except his pants… He didn't immediately pull the sheets off her; instead, he took her feet in his cold hands, kissing them and chuckling when she shrieked in surprise. Worming his way forward, he put one arm on either side of her and pulled the sheets from over her face. _

"_Hi, Professor," Cham greeted him in her usual high pitched squeal._

"_!" Snape recoiled in horror (and shock), "Charm!" Getting up quickly and trying to do his best to look professional, he asked, "Where's Forthe!"_

_Cham shrugged, "She got tired of waiting. She told me to tell you something about reveng…what's reveng?"_

"_Revenge…" Snape growled, cursing._

_Cham finally asked, "So…are you going to grovel at my feet again?"_

_She went flying out the room, a loud answer following her, "I **do not** grovel!"_

_Fuming in his very back room (yes, the one with the wine…and the bourbon… and the ale…and any other kind of alcoholic drink imaginable), it took him at least an hour (and several drinks) to gather his thoughts and think straight. Forthe was obviously still mad about his potion…but that was no excuse for what she had done! She was practically begging for a curse…hmm…that wasn't such a bad idea. _

"_Forthe, I'm disappointed in you," Snape stood in front of Maia's desk, looking down at the bored girl._

"_All I did was call McGonagall a name for lecturing me on my technique. I can't help it if I'm not good with toads. Look at Umbridge! I **hated **her!"_

"_That gives you no right to curse at a teacher. For all you know, it might work."_

"_Fine," she grumbled. "What am I supposed to do now? Grovel at your feet?" She asked cynically._

_He winced at her allusion, "No, you will be writing a letter of apology."_

"_I don't have a quill—" she cut off as he forced the writing utensil into her hand. Scribbling a hurried "I'm sorry" down, she stood, "Done."_

_He pressed her back into her seat. "Fill the page, Forthe."_

_She groaned, about to complain._

"_Don't whine—I'll add another page to it," he warned._

_Maia glared at him, but she started writing, knowing very well that he'd back up his warning with another **two** pages, just to spite her. Glancing up, she asked absently, "What are you going to do when I graduate and you can't boss me around anymore?"_

_He raised his eyebrow, "You **won't** graduate at this rate."_

"_No, really: where's all your power once you run out of detentions to give me?"_

_He sighed and approached, placing the tip of his wand to her temple and pressing uncomfortably, "Right here, Forthe."_

"_Threats don't work on me, Professor."_

"_Good. They shouldn't. Warnings however," he withdrew his wand, fingering it idly, "are a different matter altogether. Now start writing."_

_Grumbling, Maia continued her letter. Finally she paused, halfway through to read over it. It read:_

_Dear Professor McGonagall,_

_I just find this a convenient time to admit to you my undying love for Professor Snape. He's the one who told me to write this letter and apologize to you, so I decided to also tell you how much I adore him. No really, before you start laughing, I'd like to say that I'll love him until I die, and I'll never ever leave him for anyone else— _

"_Hey! This isn't what I wrote!" Maia looked up in indignant astonishment._

_Snape smiled slightly, "Well, then I suppose you'll just have to start over. Perhaps you need to concentrate."_

_She cast him a dubious glare, but obediently began writing._

_Again, the letter only proclaimed her love for Professor Snape._

"_This isn't fair, Professor!" she protested when he told her to start over again. "You cursed the quill!"_

_He shrugged, "A minor setback."_

"_But how am I supposed to write the blasted letter with a cursed quill!"_

"_Figure it out yourself, or hope McGonagall's in a good mood when she reads it."_

"_Argh!" Maia blurted out in frustration._

_Finally, at around ten o'clock, she figured out that if she wrote the apology and crossed out everything about Snape, then she could get through the letter. She handed it to him, growling, "If you say it's too messy and make me write it again, I'll hurt you."_

"_Somehow that doesn't intimidate me." He glanced over the letter, "Very well. You don't have to write another letter. Just apologize to her the next time you see her," he smiled wickedly as he threw the letter away. "You're excused."_

"_ALL that WORK for NOTHING! #$ &#$ #&$ # $ #&!" Maia roared, stalking angrily out the door. She wanted to strangle him…but she suppressed her feelings and vowed revenge…again…_


	23. Vampire Victories

_Maia never got to plot her revenge…and it was all Cham's fault. It all started one October morning when she was in her dormitory, scribbling ideas on a piece of parchment when she received the news. Cham burst in, exclaiming, "I know what I be for Halloween! I know, I know, I KNOW!"_

_Maia groaned, "**What** is it, Cham?"_

"_Not telling," Cham stated obstinately. _

"_What do you mean you're not telling? You just came in here announcing that you knew what you were going to be! You interrupted my work!" She huffed angrily and returned to her paper._

"_Too bad," Cham turned away, sauntering over to her trunk and rifling through the contents, "Oh…and by the way: I didn't tell on you, but Snape says don't even try your next plot."_

_Maia looked up once more, "How, may I ask, did he find out about my next plot?"_

"_I told on you," Cham replied._

"_You just said you didn't tell on me!"_

"_I didn't."_

"_Then how did he find out!"_

"_I told on you!"_

"_CHAM!"_

"_Sheesh, Maia, if you're going to be grumpy, I'll just leave."_

_Cham left alright…with a scorched behind._

_Maia met her in the Great Hall for breakfast half an hour later, having simmered down enough to associate with her not so smart friend._

"_This banana is rotten!" Shrieked Cham not long after Maia arrived._

_Heads turned as Maia tried to shush her friend._

"_But it is!" Cham quieted down for a few moments as she sunk into the oblivion of her thoughts. "All the food is rotting, Maia," she finally whispered, "It's a conspiracy of the vampires, cause they don't need food." She looked sinister as she continued, "Except…you know…"_

"_Don't be stupid, Cham. This apple isn't rotten," Maia said, about to take a bite out of it._

_Cham grabbed the fruit and chucked it hard at the floor, "Yes it is! Look, it's bruised!"_

_Maia had to bend down and pick up the mushy apple, "Hey, I was eating this, you stupid fathead!" She threw it at Cham, beaning her on the head, "And now **your head** is bruised, you fruit!"_

"_Ow…" Cham whined, rubbing her sore head as she fell back into thought._

_Just as Maia was getting around to eating in peace, Cham burst out, "Maia! You don't know, do you?"_

"_Do I want to know?" Asked Maia as she picked up a new apple._

"_Snape is…" Cham took a deep breath, "I mean, I don't want to scare you or hurt your feelings…" She placed her hand on Maia's arm as if in condolence, "Snape is a vampire, Maia," she finished in a hushed, dramatic tone._

"_So you've already said, Cham," Maia replied dryly._

_Cham's eyes widened (although you couldn't see this behind her hair), "Oh no! You don't believe me! He's already turned you into one of his zombie slaves!" Cham wailed. She glanced around the Great Hall and gulped, "Nobody believes me!" She stood up in outrage, "I have to spread vampire awareness for the good of the people!"_

_Maia snatched Cham, who had been about to hop upon the banquet table, and shoved her back into her place. "No," she hissed, "You will **not** embarrass me today!"_

_Cham looked forlornly at Maia, "But if I don't spread awareness, it may be too late."_

"_Cham, you can spread awareness when I graduate Hogwarts, move to Philadelphia, and change my name."_

_Cham stared at her, but (for her own good), decided to be quiet._

_An hour later, in DADA, Cham turned to Maia and asked, "Why Philadelphia?"_

"_What?" Maia asked in confusion, not realizing that Cham was alluding to their previous conversation._

"_W-h-yeeee Fill-ydelf-ee-ah?" Cham enunciated._

"_No, Cham, what are you talking about?"_

"_Philadelphia."_

_Maia threw her hands up in exasperation, "No, Cham! Why Philadelphia?"_

_Cham looked very confused as she replied, "But **I** was asking that."_

_Maia was about to retort when Snape started class, obviously aware enough of Cham's conversation to realize it was time to put it to an end._

"_Turn to page 567." As the students flipped their heavy books open, he added, "Our lesson today is on—" he paused, glancing at Cham, "Vampires."_

_She shot up in her seat, "WOOH! See! I **told **you, Maia!"_

_He just sighed and pinched the bridge of his rather large nose. "Desist, Charm."_

"_But I—"_

"_No," he cut her off firmly._

"_But the conspiracy—"_

"_There is no conspiracy in this school, much less any vampires!"_

"_That's what they **all** say, Professor," Cham replied knowingly._

"_**Sit**, Charm!"_

_She sat, staring morosely at her book. "Even the vampires don't listen to me." She started doodling on a blank piece of parchment, suddenly struck with an idea…a way to spread awareness…_

_Cham groaned and whacked Maia, who was trying fervently to wake her._

"_GET UP!" Maia yelled in her ear, after dodging yet another kick. She stood back as Cham pulled the covers over her head and glared. She was usually the one being woken rudely by Cham, with ice cubes down her night clothes, why the sudden change? "We're going to be late for DADA, Cham," she said angrily, "And Snape will NOT be happy."_

_"I don't care about my Dadda…" Cham replied into her pillow, "He's a dork…" a loud snore interrupted whatever else she was going to say._

_Maia stomped off and returned a few minutes later with ice cubes. She grinned wickedly _(or righteously…depending…)_ and slipped them down Cham's clothes (they were pink…she hated pink…). Revenge. :)_

_Cham giggled and slept on._

_Maia screamed in frustration and left the room, ditching Cham to her inevitable fate of Snape-wrath Maia knew would come later._

_When Cham eventually did wake from her death-like slumber, she slumped in the common room chair and scribbled in a notebook that was fast becoming filled with…scribbles and…notes. It was the first time that Cham had ever been so immersed in anything that didn't include food._

_Maia came in a few hours later, to check on her while she had a lunch break. She glared at her friend, who sported red eyes and disheveled hair. "Why wouldn't you wake up? Snape is going to give you detention…again."_

_Cham looked up from her writing. She was cross-eyed for a minute until Maia's presence triggered the small mechanism in her brain that helped her remember people (luckily it was the one thing that did work in Cham's brain)._

"_Oh, hi Maia." She stared at her longer, until the question processed. She sat up in her chair, suddenly looking important and formal (in her bunny slippers). "The impudence of this project is worth any punishment given." She stated solemnly._

_Maia turned away to dump her book bag on a chair next to Cham. "You mean 'importance.'" Then she looked at her friend and narrowed her eyes. "What project? Do I want...no…need to know, to save anyone from your fat-headedness?"_

_"No, you wouldn't—" Cham paused with her eyes wide. "— unless…hey Maia!"_

_"What?" groaned Maia._

_Cham jumped up, scattering her notes and hopping about excitedly. "You can be the Vice President!" she stated happily._

_"Cham, what—" Maia started, but was too late, Cham had already grabbed her notebook and zoomed up to her room. "Fine, be a butt," she mumbled and stalked off to have lunch._

_Nothing very interesting happened the next few days, except when Cham got five detentions for skipping classes. It was a Saturday afternoon, and Maia was lounging happily in Snape's bed with (guess who) Snape. Suddenly there was a loud knocking on his door, then silence. Snape and Maia looked at each other. They waited to see if the visitor would knock again, but when he or she didn't, they didn't bother to answer._

_Hours later, as Maia snuck out of Snape's room, she noticed a flyer pinned to his door. She was curious; there were never flyers, Dumbledore always gave announcements during meals. Pulling the paper off to read it better in the dim light (she didn't have her glasses with her), Maia simultaneously groaned and gasped at the same time. _(If any passer-by heard this, she probably would have made a world record— I'm serious…try it)_. She quickly hurried away, grabbing as many flyers as she could on her way, hoping Snape wouldn't see any. "I can't believe I'm protecting Cham," she mumbled angrily._

_Maia was fuming by the time she realized she couldn't find Cham anywhere. "Probably avoiding me," she hissed as she reached the Slytherin common room to crash for the night._

_"Who's avoiding you?" asked Malfoy in a friendly voice._

_Was it his ignorance or cheerfulness that spiked Maia to rage at him? No, it was actually just because he was the only one she could safely be angry with._

_"You know where she is, don't you!" she spat, turning on him._

_"Who?" said Malfoy, starting to become alarmed. Everyone knew how Maia was when she was mad._

_"Cham, you fathead!" she thrust the flyer in front of Malfoy's face. "I bet you helped with this, too, didn't you! Even maybe prompted her to do it?"_

_The flyer read: (in Cham's sloppy hand-writing)_

_AT-Tension Stoodents!_

_Yü Have _Vampires in_ y__our m_i_st!_

_In order too understand this better, and beeleave _me, you want too, pleese come two the FIRST EVER club in the hiss-tori of Hogsnotwarts: We will get_ rid __off vampires once and for all! _

_Club Noose: _First Meetting will be in the rüm of requirement reekwirement._ (we _will u_se Draco as a dore stop). We will be d_iscu_sting club occiffers _and c_lub names_

_Once Malfoy was able to decipher it, he pointed to the note in parenthesis. "Hey, Cham actually has a good idea. She must remember that it's bad if the door closes." He squinted at it closer and frowned. "Although, I'm not really keen on being a doorstop." _

_Maia threw her stack of paper at Malfoy. "You idiot! Don't you see what Cham could _do_ with a club like this?"_

_"Not really."_

_"Wreak havoc! Haven't you noticed that that is what she is best at!"_

_Malfoy laughed. "It's not like she's going to kill anybody."_

_"There are worse things than dying," Maia mumbled, but she was starting to calm down. Malfoy could be right: who would come to Cham's stupid club anyway?_

_Luckily for Cham, Snape never noticed. He had completely blocked out automatic reading whenever he saw her handwriting, since all he had to do was just write a "T" at the top of all her assignments. He was so oblivious, that Maia even saw a couple of flyers with an unmistakable Snape-handwriting "T" scrawled over the words. And so it was that a certain could-be-vampire professor was totally unaware of the meeting that took place in the Room of Requirement the following Friday. _

_Cham started the meeting promptly at six fifty-eight. Everybody thought she was early, but the meeting had actually been intended to start at six. Maia walked in sullenly, determined to be on damage control duty. Cham looked menacing in her black formal robes, her mouth a thin line as she judged when the perfect time to speak would be. She began the meeting as soon as Draco took his place as the door-stop. _

"_My fellow," she paused, searching for the right word, "…magician-type people. You are gathered here today of the most udderist importance." She flashed a grin at Maia, proud for having used the word "importance" correctly. Maia rolled her eyes. Cham was hopeless._

_Cham glanced at her audience, composed mostly of her Slytherin "followers," and a few interested first-years from the other Houses. "I'm sure you've heard rumors of the presence of…" she paused for effect, "vampires…in our school."_

_A gullible first-year Hufflepuff spoke up from the back. "Actually, I haven't heard any such thing."_

_Cham glared in his direction, then whispered something to Crabbe, who had been forced, along with Goyle, by Malfoy to be the club "security guards." Crabbe lumbered over to the unlucky Hufflepuff, and chucked him out of the room. Cham beamed in happiness._

"_Now, are there any more non-believers in here?" she asked innocently. The other students glanced nervously at Crabbe and Goyle, and quickly shook their heads no._

_"Okie-dokie. Now we have to appoint club officers," she looked out at the students, then continued, "I will be president…obviously…Maia can be Vice-President, and…" she pointed to some random kid in the front, "you can be the Secretary. Any objections?" Cham waited for a second, then said, before Maia could protest, "Good. Now to continue on…"_

_"Cham, I don't want to be-"_

_Cham ignored Maia and proceeded with her meeting. "I'm going to read the purpose of this club to you, remember that we will always listen to any questions or concerns…"_

_"Cham, listen-"_

_"And if you need anyone, _anyone_, to talk to, we are always available…"_

_"Cham-"_

_"We are like…free therapists for any and all of your needs, just come to us…"_

_"Cham!"_

_"Anything you have to say we will listen to, and try to help…"_

_"Cham!"_

_"And when we listen, we will be at our utmost attention, and ignore everything else around us so that we can really help you…"_

_"CHAM!"_

_Cham turned towards Maia and smiled. "Sorry, Maia, I couldn't hear what you were saying."_

_"I DON'T WANT TO BE VICE PRESIDENT!" Maia screamed in Cham's ear._

_Cham glared at her friend. "Gosh, Maia, you don't have to yell. Why didn't you just say so earlier? You can be writer-scribe-person."_

_"I don't want to be a scribe! I don't want to do anything!" Maia said angrily._

_"Maia," Cham said solemnly, "Look at your people," she spread her hand and pointed to demonstrate her…point. "They **need** you, Maia. They **need **you to be their scribe."_

_"I still don't want-"_

_"You're the scribe." Cham insisted darkly, and shoved a piece of parchment and quill in Maia's hands. She began to write furiously as Cham continued._

_Club Minutes:_

7:06—writer is forced to write. Writer insists that she will refuse to write anything stupid.

7:07—writer is admonished by _president Cham_ to write everything down, whether it pertains to the meeting or not.

7:09—President picks her nose.

7:11—President tells writer to stop being a mean poop.

_Cham decided to ignore Maia. "We have to make a name for our club, so it sounds more coolish." She tapped her finger against her chin. "It has to have 'vampire' in it, somewhere…and 'league', 'cause 'league' sounds coolish."_

_The appointed random-kid-secretary said "How about League of Vampires?"_

_Maia scoffed. "Except Cham is against them. You need something like 'League of Vampire Slayers' or something," she said sarcastically._

_Cham brightened. "Good idea, Maia!"_

"_I like 'eradicators' better than 'slayers,' it sounds nicer," said a Ravenclaw student. _

"_I like 'ridders'!" came a squeaky voice belonging to the first-year Hufflepuff, who had snuck back in._

"_That's stupid!" called the Ravenclaw._

_There followed a heated debate on the three words. Cham finally silenced it by making Goyle throw a chair into the crowd. "Stop being stupid, everyone! I get to make up the name." She beamed at her own clever smartness._

_There were a few mutterings, but they shut up after Goyle glared at them._

_Cham made Maia write down the name. "League Of Vampire Eradicators and Ridders of Snape."_

_Maia was about to write it down, but then she noticed something. "Uhh…Cham…"_

"_Shush, Maia, I like it, and my word is law." She said stubbornly._

_Maia rolled her eyes, shrugged, and wrote down the name._

7:49—Our club has been named "L.O.V.E.R.S."

7:50—Writer just walks out of the room, after laughing at president.

_Cham watched as Maia left. She observed a moment of silence for those—namely Maia—who did not understand the importance of ridding the world of vampires (and Snape) once and for all. _

_Finally coming out of her stupid—sorry, stupor—of thought, she had a sudden apostrophe—epiphany…whatever—and burst out, "Time to interview the vampire…I'll be right back…one moment please," she zoomed out the door._

_A few seconds later, the students heard a loud shriek: "PROFESSOR! WHAT'S GREEN, WORN UNDERNEATH YOUR CLOTHES, AND MAKES YOU MAD WHEN I HAVE IT?" _

_There was a moment's pause, and then: "CHARM!"_

_Cham scooted back into the room, squealing. The students saw a very angry professor follow quickly. Just as he had her backed into a corner and was about to perform some nasty sort of curse, she screeched, "LOCK THE DOORS!"_

_The door slammed shut, and Cham calmly stated, smiling innocently at Snape, "Professor, welcome to the room of düm."_

_Snape lowered his wand, glancing around in suspicion. He eyed each student warily, remembering their faces, in case they were going to do something honourable of detention. Catching sight of Draco—who was trying to hide behind Cham's podium—he turned back to Cham, "Charm, what kind of pandemonium are you planning this time?"_

"_Why don't you have a seat, Professor?" She asked in a sinister voice, still grinning. Seeing that there were no chairs available, she threw one unlucky student out of his seat, shoving Snape into it. "Sit, please."_

_His first reaction was to stand back up, but Cham pushed him back down. _

"_Don't make me use the gum in my pocket," she warned._

_He sat._

"_Does anyone have any questions before we begin?" One student raised her hand, but Cham ignored her, "Good, we will begin the interrogating…I mean…the **interview**. So," she turned back to Snape, "When did you become a vampire?"_

_He didn't grace her question with an answer, glaring viciously at her._

"_That's okay, take your time. I know how hard it is for old people to remember things sometimes."_

_The glare continued._

_Finally, Cham said, "Don't be so mad, Professor. I don't really have your boxers. I just…elongated accuracy to get you here."_

"_Uh, Cham, don't you mean 'stretched the truth'?" Malfoy suggested nervously._

"_No! Don't be stupid, Draco. Gosh!" _

"_Okay," he backed off before she could kick him. His shins were sore enough._

_Cham had already forgotten that he existed, and had moved on to question two: "You've been successful at hiding this long...how does this make you feel now that you've been hamstered out?"_

"_What?" Snape asked, very confused by her word choice._

"_She meant 'ratted'," Draco translated._

"_Nuh-uh," Cham disagreed, "Hamsters are better than rats."_

"_Charm—"_

"_Stop avoiding the question! ANSWER!"_

_Cham's reign of terror was briefly interrupted._

_BANG. BANG. BANG._

"_CHAM!" Maia's very loud voice reached their ears. "Cham! Let me in! I know you've got Professor Snape in there!"_

"_You're a bad secretary, Maia!" Cham replied, "Besides, I can't hear you…whoever you are!" _

"_ARGH! Lemme in!"_

"_No."_

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

"_Stop banging against the door, Maia! You might give it a hernia!"_

_Maia tried another approach, "Draco! Let me in, or I'll hurt you!"_

_Draco inched for the door, but caught Cham's dangerous glare. He replied nervously, "Sorry, Maia. I would help you…but—" Cham started for him, and he added quickly, "butI'mmoreafraidofChamthanyourightnow!"_

_Cham patted him on the head, smiling benevolently. Pulling a linty object out of her pocket, she stuffed it in his mouth, "Here, have a cookie."_

_He made a face before quickly smiling, "Er…mfffthanks, Chammfff."_

_Snape watched this exchange with a disgusted—yet slightly amused—look on his face._

"_CHAM! YOU LET ME IN RIGHT NOW OR I'LL BREAK DOWN THE STUPID DOOR!"_

_Cham sighed, "Fine, Maia. Gosh. But I'm only doing it because I feel sorry for the—oof—"_

_The door fell in on her. Maia burst in, "CHAM! Cham? Where are you? Don't hide from me! That won't work; I'm going to kill you anyway!"_

"_I'm already dead!" Came a muffled response from beneath Maia's feet._

_She stepped off the door, sliding it to the side. Draco rushed over, "CHAM! Cham, are you alright? Speak to me!" _

_Cham snapped at him, "Shut up, Draco. I'm dying here."_

_Maia rolled her eyes._

"_Killed by my bestest friend…and a door." She paused, "Et tu, Maia?"_

_Draco started kicking the door. "Stupid door! You killed Cham!"_

_There was a strange noise from the other side of the room. Maia looked up to see Snape rolling on the floor with laughter. He seemed to find it very amusing that Cham had been squashed by a door._

"_I told you he was a vampire…" Cham whispered sorrowfully to Maia before passing out._

Dear friends and weirdo peeples, (and anyone who happens to see this…thingy…) we will now be taking a break…how long, you ask? Who knows? Cham does, but she's unconscious, so she can't tell you. Ha! So there! (We're sorry, but we need to fix Cham before we continue. She's in a lot of pain right now). Thank you for reading this weirdness so far! Read more when we get new ideas!


	24. IF SNAPE WAS FAT

Alright, so we kind of lied about not writing for a while. We (Actually just one of us) got bored and started writing something from Cham's perspective. Yes, I acknowledge the fact that it should be "IF SNAPE WERE FAT," but you have to remember, it's Cham writing, not me. And the reason it isn't terribly difficult to read is because it has been edited (many times I might add) by Maia. That's because Cham can't spell...but you already know that. So, enjoy this random little input...you can even imagine what would happen if this got into the hands of a certain professor...which it might...we don't know yet...oh, and this isn't supposed to be taken as a jab at fat people! We love fat people! We're just making fun of fat Snape...and Cham's bad "ryting skeels."

_Cham Charm_

_DADA_

_Cree-ative Wryting Assignment…well, knot really…but I wanted it to bee, so I did this insteed of a stoopid vampire SA. _

**IF SNAPE WAS FAT**

_By: Cham Charm. _

Spellchecked By: Maia Forthe (who thinks this is stupid, but is helping anyway to make Cham feel better…and stop bugging her).

_If Snape was fat, I would laugh. He makes me laugh anyway. But if he were fat he would make me laugh more. _

_He would cause an earthquake every time he walked. He would eat a lot more pudding than he already does. _(He doesn't eat pudding at all, Cham. He doesn't like it.)_ He would be as wide as he is tall…which is a lot because anyone who is taller than me is tall. No, Maia, you're short. I'm sorry, but it's true. _

_Snape would not be able to run very fast, in fact, he wouldn't be able to catch me when I blew up his gold cauldron…which I did NOT do! It was…er…Crabbe's fault…_

_Snape would not be able to yell at me because I would laugh at him. Did I already say that? _(Yes.)_ Maia, stop writing on my paper. It's mine._

_But mostly, if Snape was fat, Maia wouldn't like him anymore because she doesn't like fat people…or at least, not fat Defense Against the Dark Arts professors. And that would be the best thing to happen in the world._

…_I wish Snape was fat. _

P.S. Please review! We'd like to know what you think about it!


	25. Infirmary Insanity

Alrighty, so here's the next chapter, picking up where Vampire Victories left off. Hope the insanity isn't too much for you! 8D ...oh, and review please!

_Cham woke up when she heard loud voices, but she decided not to open her eyes. She just listened._

"_Why do you want me to do that?" Madame Pomfrey sounded confused. It was a tone Cham was very familiar with._

_Snape's voice was irritated and impatient—Cham was also very familiar with this tone. "I have random students attacking me and spouting out nonsense about vampires and such. I'm just taking precautions."_

"_Alright, but I still don't think shortening your canines will help with anything."_

_Cham, after a few moments of processing, suddenly bolted up, "I **knew** it!" She flew between the two, warning Madame Pomfrey, "Look out! He might **bite** you!"_

_The matron's wand, which had been resting very lightly on Snape's teeth, was knocked sharply against them._

"_Argh—" He pulled away quickly. _

_Cham saw him as he turned back to face them, saw his teeth as he grimaced, ready to hurt her. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!!" She shrieked._

_He suddenly covered his mouth with a hand, feeling his teeth cautiously with his tongue. Wincing, it came as no surprise when Cham shouted, "You're a vampire! Don't try to hide those pointy teeth! I **saw** them!"_

_Snape glanced around in desperation, not quite sure what to do. He tried to make a quick exit, but Madame Pomfrey stopped him. "You'll have to stay here, Severus. At least until I can figure out how to fix your teeth."_

_Cham hid underneath her bed, "Then I'm staying down here where it's safe."_

_Snape just groaned and sat at the edge of the bed Madame Pomfrey shoved him onto. He didn't know how long he'd be stuck with the retarded wonder, but he knew it was bound to go horribly. Madame Pomfrey had to attend to more urgent injuries, and Snape had to entertain himself. _

_After about an hour of sitting impatiently, he heard a muffled voice emanate from the dark space under **his** bed. Cham had moved._

"_Zip-a-dee-do-dah! Zip-a-dee-ay! Mine ol' mind what a loverly day!"_

"_Stop!" Snape clutched the sides of his head, already getting an earsplitting headache. _

_Cham sighed, "Fine," before replying brightly, "I'll just have to sing a new one!" Taking in a gigantic gulp of air and popping up from underneath the bed, she began screeching, "It's a punified global ecosystem after all! It's a tiny earth after all! It's a—"_

"_**Desist**, Charm!" Snape was in such pain that he wanted to throw Cham out the window (of course, he wanted to do that most of the time, anyway). He didn't even noticed that Cham was getting the words wrong._

_Finally, Cham stopped 'singing' when Madame Pomfrey told her to stop disturbing the other patients. _

_Not too long afterward, the door to the hospital wing opened and Maia cautiously entered, glancing around worriedly before catching sight of Snape, who was lying down with a pained expression (still trying to get Cham's songs out of his head). Walking toward him, she suddenly jumped back when Cham sprung up in her face, squeezing her like an orange and shouting in her ear._

"_MAIA! You came to see me!!!!"_

"_Get…off…" Maia gasped for breath as Cham let go._

"_What'd you get me? A present?" Cham eagerly circled Maia._

"_Nothing, Cham." Maia was still breathing heavily, trying to regain her breath. _

"_Not even a 'get better or I'll kick your butt' card?" Cham's lower lip trembled._

"_Er…" Maia reached into her pocket, "Here, Cham: enjoy." She stuffed a piece of lint in Cham's hand._

_Cham stared at it for a second before whispering, "This is the BEST PRESENT EVER!!! WheeeeEEeeeeEEEEeeeeEEEeee!" She ran around in circles, leaving Maia to do what she had actually come for._

_Sitting on a stool beside Snape, she asked quietly, "Are you alright? You just disappeared."_

_He cast her a sideways glance, "I was fine until you came in and woke that **menace** up." His voice was grumpy, but she could tell he was just playacting, putting on a show._

"_I'm sorry. Will this help?" Maia procured a white rose, "I know you like these."_

_He sat up a little, taking the flower, surprised she remembered the comment he had made that summer. Reaching out, he touched her cheek with the back of his hand, the corners of his mouth moving up slightly. Maia smiled; for Snape, that **was** a smile._

"_So—er—what are you in here for?" Maia asked, wincing as Cham rushed by, still screeching._

"_WheeeEEEeeeEEeeEEEEE!!!!"_

_Snape put his hand behind her head, pulling her forward, "Why don't you find out?" He kissed her._

_Maia wondered why he—"Ow!" She pulled back, "You cuth my thongue!" She frowned, "How—"_

_He grimaced, displaying his abnormally large canines._

_The shrieking abruptly stopped, replaced by: "VAMPIRE!!! MAIA GET AWAY!!!" Cham hurdled into Maia, knocking her over and stuffing her under the bed, "Hide! I'll fight it—"_

"_Miss Charm! Please! Kindly quiet down, or I'll have to remove you."_

_Snape stood and assisted Maia from underneath the bed, "I question whether she was really injured by that door."_

_Maia rubbed the back of her head, wincing at the pain. "I question whether I should switch places with her. **She **can go do homework, and **I** can sit here being a bother to Madame Pomfrey."_

_Soon after, Maia left, casting Cham a baleful glare, "Careful, you twit, or I'll set Snape on you. Be good."_

_Cham whimpered and hid under the sheets. "Mean, nasty vampire-man. Good Cham, good Cham…"_

_By the time Madame Pomfrey had time to look for Snape's cure, it was dark outside and Cham was being obnoxious again. She was dancing around with herself, shouting/singing, "I love to laugh! Loud and long and here! The more I laugh, the sooner I have to go—" She was cut off by an immobility hex. Its source was unknown, but there was a slight smile on a 'sleeping' professor's face. Of course, Snape was awake and serious as soon as Madame Pomfrey came close, hurriedly swallowing the pills the matron handed him._

"_Ah, thank you, I will see you later, goodnight!" This statement was given in less than a second, and in another moment, he was gone, cursing whatever creature had spawned Cham. _


	26. Chronicle Chaos

Alrighty, so here's our next loverly chapter...beware Cham...so, lest we spoil the story, we will now allow you to read it.

"_No. Absolutely not. I refuse to the utmost power of my being, and—let me reemphasize this—NO!" Maia was not too happy about her assignment. _(You think?) _She had (grudgingly) accepted to assist Snape with his work, considering that he had just collected a rather important paper from one of his classes and needed to grade it. Thus she was stuck with the superbly wonderful task of potion making. _

"_Why are you making such a fuss? You volunteered." Snape rolled his eyes as she replied with another protest._

"_I did not!"_

_He sighed, "You make it sound as if it's a difficult thing."_

_Maia halted, planting her feet on the stone floor. "Look at me. Do I have black hair?"_

"_Of course not."_

"_Am I tall?"_

"_Quite the opposite," he replied with a smirk._

_She ignored his comment, continuing, "Do I have an extreme obsession with 'the fine art of potion brewing?'"_

"_N—" He stopped, suddenly realizing what she was getting at._

"_See? You are the only one who has even the remotest ability to like potions!"_

"_Are you insulting me?"_

"_Absolutely!" She huffed, pacing around in a small circle before pausing and huffing again, "Why do you need me to do this anyway?"_

_He avoided the question neatly, replying, "I don't need **you** to do this. I could easily find another person to help if you are going to keep complaining."_

_Maia thought about it briefly, but was stubborn and answered, "I told you I'd help, and I will. I just won't be happy about it. And anyway, nobody else would **want** to help you."_

_Snape raised his eyebrows and gave a slight shrug, turning and resuming his path down the hallway, "Very well. Hurry up then; I'd like to get started as soon as possible."_

_Maia hurried to catch up, grumbling, "You know it's Saturday morning. That means we have all the time in the world. There's no **need** to hurry."_

_He cast her a sideways glance, "That's what you think." It appeared as though he was going to say more, but he didn't, and a long silence continued until they came to his office._

_Pointing to a corner, he spoke, "You can leave your bookbag there." He dropped a stack of essays on the desk and led Maia into another one of those secret rooms he had kept in the dungeons (along with his office) despite his new appointment as DADA teacher. A fairly large pewter cauldron sat on a scratched up—but sturdy—wooden table._

_As Maia investigated an open book on the table, Snape strode along the wall, removing several ingredients in vials and leather pouches from the shelves. When a sizeable pile of strange and curious objects had been placed on the table, Snape disappeared into yet another room, emerging with even more ingredients cradled lovingly in his arms. Setting them down, he slapped away Maia's hands (she had been handling a few of the rarer ingredients with less than the proper respect) and flicked the book open to a page that had rarely been turned to before._

_Looking up at Maia, he proffered her the book, explaining, "This is a difficult potion to brew, but if you follow these instructions, you should do alright."_

_Maia squinted—it was not the book's instructions he was pointing to, but his own writing, squeezed almost indecipherably into the margins. "Er…" she asked in a confused tone, "Is that a five or a six?"_

"_What?"_

_She showed him the phrase in question. His first cursory glance at it proved fruitless, and he had to peer even closer at the writing. "Well…it **looks** like a six, but…no," he murmured to himself, "it can't…it would have to be a three."_

_Maia removed the book from his grasp, "No—**is** it?" Looking up, she grinned, "Nobody but you can decipher your handwriting. Don't worry though, that's a common trait among teachers."_

_He glared at her, replying stiffly, "Any other questions before you begin?"_

_Maia wasn't done being sarcastic. "Can you rewrite the instructions in English so I can read them?"_

_He grunted sourly and left, calling back, "If you have any **relevant **questions, I will be in my office." The door closed not so quietly behind him._

_Just a few moments later, Maia disturbed Snape again, "Er, professor? What does 'Amicitius Amicus' mean?"_

_He sighed, "You're making a potion that increases the level of pleasure one can find in things. Think of it as a—"_

"_A **happy potion**?" Maia finished in amazement (whether good or bad remains to be seen)._

"_More or less," he shrugged. "Now get started."_

_Maia left diligently (but not happily) beginning her task. It wasn't long before she had another question. "Professor, what exactly does the word 'dice' mean?"_

_He looked up with a pained, long-suffering expression, "Forthe, what **is** a dice?"_

"_It's a little cube thingy…oh—"_

"_Exactly, now go."_

_Maia exited, grumbling, "Why couldn't he have just written **cube** instead of dice? It's not like it's any harder to write…"_

_Snape was left alone for a brief but merciful hour, until Maia felt once more the need to interrupt. "Professor, how do I know if I did it right?"_

_He didn't bother to look up, merely grunting, "Taste it and find out."_

_Maia protested, "Why do **I **have to taste it?"_

_Looking meaningfully up at her, he replied, "Do you recall what happened the last time I ingested one of **your** potions?"_

"_Right…" Maia turned and left. A few moments later, she came back, "Professor," he winced as he heard her voice, "I don't think the happy potion worked," she said in a monotone voice with little to no emotion whatsoever._

_Groaning, he replied, "You added too many toad feathers. Add a little more powdered chicken tooth and try again."_

_He thought he had gotten rid of her. He only had two more papers…just two—_

"_PROFESSOR! Happiness and joy reign all! I would really like the antidote please, if it's not too much trouble. And then we can discuss important philosophical matters in a bathtub of hot water and—"_

_She couldn't say anything else because Snape shoved the antidote into her mouth._

"_Are you finished?" He asked as Maia returned to normal._

"_Yes," she replied a bit breathlessly._

"_Well," He glanced back at the two remaining papers…Potter and Weasley. They could wait. "We have the rest of today to ourselves. What should we do?" He asked, coming closer._

_Maia furrowed her brow, "Well…I have a book…have you heard of King Arthur, Guinevere, Lancelot, or possibly Merlin?"_

"_Of course I have. I wouldn't use Merlin's name in vain if I didn't know who he was."_

"_I guess that makes sense," Maia assented._

"_And what do you wish to tell me about this book of yours?"_

_Maia went to her bookbag, rummaged through it, and drew out a thick volume entitled The Once and Future King. "I've been reading it a little…I think you might like it…I just thought we could…you know—read it…maybe?"_

_Snape considered the possibilities. Finally he gave in. How bad could a book be? "Alright. But **you** do the reading."_

_Maia smiled and scurried into the private chambers, flopping down on the bed and opening the book. Snape followed suit (although in a more dignified manner) and curiously listened as Maia began. Her voice may not have been attuned to speaking, but when she read, it sounded oddly soothing (except when she read the action scenes). _

_It didn't seem long before Maia had gone through at least half the book, and this just happened to be the most interesting place for her to be reading. Out of all the battles and adventures that the characters went through, Maia had finally reached her favorite. The one with Lancelot—the ill-made knight—her favorite character._

_After a small break, Maia attempted to continue reading only to find that her voice was getting hoarse. "Er…Professor?"_

_Seeing that Maia truly wanted to continue the story, he sacrificed his dignity and read for her._

"_Guinevere waited for Lancelot in the candle-light of her splendid bedroom, brushing her silver hair," he paused, looking dubiously up at Maia. _

_She urged him on, scooting closer and leaning against him._

"_She looked singularly lovely…" he began again, continuing on. He read how Lancelot entered, offered to brush Guinevere's hair, and how the two lovers talked on and on about nothing and everything. Maia watched his face as he read, and began to see a smile starting to develop._

"'_Well, damn them then,' he said. 'We can't have this noise. I shall have to go, or they will wake the castle.' He turned to the queen and…" At this, Snape paused, looking up at Maia._

_She responded expectantly, "Well? What happened?"_

_Snape closed the book, rolling over and taking Maia around the waist, quoting "he turned to the Queen and took her in his arms…" putting his lips to hers, he murmured, "and kissed her tenderly."_

_It was one of those times when the two repeated history and pulled a Paolo and Francesca (if you don't know what we mean by this—read the Inferno by Dante…lovely book, you know). It's safe to say that several minutes later, the two were nestled safely underneath the sheets, the book forgotten near the foot of the bed._

_Maia's hand trailed over Snape's throat and onto his chest as she kissed his chin and closed her eyes, utterly content to have her head on his shoulder. _

_He curled his mouth up at the corners, that half smile that he knew Maia liked so much, and murmured in a droll voice, "I'd like to see Mr. White's definition of a kiss—in its entirety, mind you. I'm not quite sure this is what he had in mind."_

_Maia gave him an arch look, reaching up with a hand and running her fingers through his hair. It made him shudder with an intense pleasure, but she spoke without noticing his reaction, "Oh? And what do **you** think he meant every time he wrote the word 'kiss?'"_

_He retaliated by rolling her onto her back, drawing her into a lengthy, but gentle, kiss. Breaking away reluctantly, he let his lips linger on hers as he replied, "Something like this."_

_Maia smiled, reaching between them and tracing his nose from bridge to tip with her index finger. "Do it again…just once more. I didn't quite catch it."_

_He gladly obliged._

…

_Unfortunately, just moments later, they were interrupted by a banging on the door, and a loud, familiar voice, "MAIA!!! Maia, stop being a butt and get out here! You promised to go flying with me!"_

_Snape groaned, sitting up as Maia slid from under the sheets and started dressing. As he watched her, he murmured, "Would you agree if I likened her to Mordred?"_

_Maia laughed, shaking her head, "No, professor, she's more like Morgan le Fay." She struggled to get her shoes on, calling to Cham, "Okay! I'm coming Cham! Wait outside for me!" She turned one last apologetic look at Snape, "Sorry," she explained, "I forgot."_

_He inclined his head, "Just don't be late returning." He held up Maia's book, "We still have to finish our lesson."_

_Maia smiled, "Yes, professor."_

_Once she was properly attired, Maia met Cham, who was curiously sniffing Maia's happy potion. _

"_AUGH! Cham! Get away from that!"_

_Cham gave Maia a hurt expression, "But I was just smelling."_

"_It's a happy potion, Cham. You don't need it…trust me. **Stay away**."_

"_Fine." Cham slouched toward the door. Maia hesitated and Cham shot her an impatient look, "Are you coming?"_

"_Yes," Maia followed her friend outside, wondering what Cham had in her pocket that made such a large bulge. She shook her head; she didn't want to know._

…

_About an hour later, Maia made her way, cold and wet from flying in the rain, back to the dungeons. Shivering violently, she entered Snape's room to find him still on the bed, his eyes closed in repose. Hmm…Strange; she'd never seen him asleep. He was always awake before she was in the morning, and she'd never been awake late enough to see him fall asleep. He looked mildly happy…well, content at least._

_She carefully sat on the edge of the bed so as not to wake him, and she removed her dripping shoes and stockings, tossing them on her cloak, which she had already shed. Soon she was only in her semi-damp underclothes, and she crawled under the sheets._

_Of course, like always, Maia had miscalculated; "Augh! Forthe! Your feet are **freezing**!" _

_Snape had **not** been asleep. He almost fell off the bed in shock when Maia joined him, but he managed to stay on. Maia wasn't so lucky._

_Feeling him jump and realizing that he wasn't asleep caused a jolt of adrenaline to rush through Maia. She recoiled swiftly and slid off the bed, hitting her head on the wall as she went._

"_Ow…Professor, don't do that!" She stood up, hopping on her feet, which were indeed still very cold. The stone floor did not help. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, dancing around and shivering, "I'm freezing! Let me under the covers!"_

_He eyed her warily, "Alright, but stay on **your** side."_

_Maia climbed back under the blankets and wrapped herself in them, rubbing her feet together to warm them. She muttered, "I thought the whole bed was your side."_

_He ignored her, his pride wounded._

_Blowing warm air onto her fingers, Maia barely noticed when Snape decided she was warm enough and put his arms around her waist. He put his chin on her shoulder and kissed her jaw apologetically, drawing her tightly against him._

_After a few moments he spoke, "You don't happen to know why there was a good deal of potion missing, do you?"_

_Maia shot him a confused look, "I followed the instructions."_

"_Well perhaps you can explain why one of my bottles was missing."_

_Maia laughed, "What, do you count them each time you walk in the room?"_

"_No, I can just tell when one goes missing, and one **did**."_

_Maia's good mood deteriorated, "Are you accusing me of…" She trailed off, suddenly remembering the strange bulge in Cham's pocket. "Er—professor, did it look something like this?" She held her hands out in an ovalish kind of shape._

"_Yes, why?"_

"_Cham—" Maia breathed._

"_**What?!?!**" Snape shot up, "That abomination took it?"_

_Maia nodded, "I can't think of any other explanation."_

_Cham, who was outside still and could not possibly have heard the curses that emitted from Snape's mouth, felt a sudden drop in temperature and a dread in her stomach. She nervously felt the bottle through the fabric of her cloak. Professor had definitely found out about the happy thief. Gulping, she immediately suggested to Draco that they go flying far, far away._

"_Damn her! Does she not know the effect that could have on somebody like her?" Snape was ranting, as Maia—still in bed—watched in half amusement , half anxiety as the half dressed professor paced half angrily and…well, actually he paced completely consumed by his anger across the room._

"_What'll happen if she takes it?"_

"_I don't know! It could be anything!" He left, coming back with the book in his hand, flipping to the correct page and scanning it quickly. Looking up at Maia, he grimaced. "It could have several effects on her."_

"_What?" _

"_Well, she could merely become lethargic and depressed for a few days."_

"_That's not so bad."_

"_Or she could spontaneously combust."_

"_That's bad."_

_Both shuddered. Neither wanted to know what combusted Cham looked like, even Snape, though he despised her._

"_So," Maia said after a long silence, "should I find her?"_

_Snape shook his head, "She's not here. She went flying with Draco a few minutes ago." His expression darkened, "She knows **I **know where that potion went."_

"_But what if she drinks it?" Maia didn't bother asking how he knew where Cham was._

"_She won't. It's not for her."_

"_Oh?" Maia pressed him further, but he divulged no more information, merely sighing and setting the book down. The rest of the night was spent in silent agonizing uneasiness, both wondering and waiting…what did Cham want with a **happy** potion? Obviously there was someone she thought needed cheering up, and both hoped it wasn't them. Needless to say, they were planning on being **very** careful about what they drank for the next few days, that was for sure._

So, hope you enjoyed this new chapter of insanity. Please review! We KNOW that there are at least thirty some people who read this. We expect plenty of reviews!


	27. The LIST

_Here's another random chapter from the crazy people._

A List of Things Students Don't Think Professors See…

Students file in for dinner. Draco Malfoy trips a first-year Gryffindor boy. Minerva points this out to Albus.

Students eat dinner. Ernie McMillan eats sixteen servings of lemon custard although he's supposed to be dieting. Prof. Sprout notes this.

Ronald Weasley shoots spit wads at Messieurs Crabbe and Goyle. Argus writes a memo for Minerva on this.

Draco Malfoy shoots a spit wad at Harry Potter. Severus notes this, but does not tell Albus.

Maia Forthe plasters Draco Malfoy with a bowl of pudding. Severus notes this with the intention of lecturing Miss Forthe later. Hagrid makes a comment about it and Severus snaps at him.

Prof. Flitwick can't see above the edge of the table. However, he notices Hagrid and Minerva playing footsie again. He suppresses the gag reflex.

Cham Charm is seen for the third time that week screeching and pointing in horror at the blood-red cranberry juice. Severus strongly suggests to Albus that the house-elves change dinner drinks.

Will Avery conjures a flower and passes it to Maia Forthe. Severus growls.

A brief moment of inactivity passes. Even Cham Charm is quiet.

Harry Potter invites Maia Forthe to watch the Quidditch match on Saturday. Severus leaves nail prints in the table. He seems not to care that he now has several splinters in his fingers. McGonagall asks if he needs to visit Madame Pomfrey. He answers with a firm no.

A new teacher that hasn't been in long enough to have a name shoots a rubber band at a pesky bug. He is later convicted of killing Rita Skeeter, but nobody really cares.

A seventh year Ravenclaw makes an illusion of a big black dog to scare her sister. Prof. Trelawney sees it, screams, and faints theatrically. Hagrid takes her food when no one is watching.

Prof. Trelawney regains consciousness and curses Hagrid to have his hut burned by the end of the school year for eating her food. Albus chuckles at this and Trelawney predicts he will die at the end of the year. He doesn't believe her.

Severus notices Crabbe give Goyle a wet willy. He is grossed out and cannot finish his soup. Hagrid asks if he can have it.

Cham Charm burps. Nobody can hear for the next five minutes because of the ringing in their ears. (They can't breathe either because of the overpowering smell of cheese).

Severus loses his appetite again.

Hagrid suddenly has an appetite for cheese.

Albus requests that students refrain from bodily functions after Crabbe farts.

Madame Pomfrey decides to write an essay on harmful gasses.

Madame Pince cannot suppress the urge to cry "Shhh!" She glares at Miss Charm.

Moaning Myrtle comes out of Severus' glass of water, and said professor decides to eat in his room from now on.

Peeves pelts the teachers with Centaur terds. Severus asks to leave, but Albus restrains him with an absurd potions question. He seems to be under the misconception that Potions is a home economics class. Severus decides he must stay and rectify this blatant offense to the fine art of potion-brewing.

Neville Longbottom arrives for dinner. Minerva contemplates drawing him a map.

Ronald Weasley blushes bright red after a remark from Hermione Granger. Cham Charm informs him in a scholarly way that he has too much blood and should see a vampire to fix that problem.

Severus breaks off mid-dissertation to see Cham glaring at him.

Meanwhile, Argus notes 179 ¾ infractions made during this time. He makes a list for Albus. (Cham decides to steal it later because it is such a big, shiny List).

Mrs. Norris decides that she likes Hagrid's beard, and Hagrid decides that he doesn't like cats.

Albus notices Mrs. Norris and wonders why her name includes "Mrs." and whatever happened to Mr. Norris.

Voldemort's teacher-spy hates his job. He ingests a Breatheater because that is the only suitable mint for followers of Voldemort.

Maia Forthe's food spontaneously combusts. Severus finds this single even his high point of the day. He is amused.

Cham Charm loses a few teeth because they are embedded in Maia Forthe's fist. Such cursing ensues that Severus decides he should "escort" Miss Forthe from the hall.

Prof. Slughorn watches them leave. He sees his old potions student grope Forthe's behind. He decides he needs to double dose on his medications tonight.

Prof. Flitwick notices the floor hasn't been swept in at least a week. He decides to swallow his pride and ask Albus for a booster seat, as he has lost his appetite…yet again. Hagrid surprisingly doesn't want his food; he is too busy fending off a certain striped cat.

Cham Charm says something stupid. Everyone notices, but no one cares.

Dinner ends, and the students are escorted to bed. Later that night, several teachers are caught sneaking into the kitchens because for some reason they couldn't finish their dinners.

_Hope you liked! Please review!_


	28. Hectic Halloween

_Well, here is our next chapter. We're sorry you had to wait so long, but the story shall be continuing from now on! (Hopefully...as long as angry characters don't murder us in our sleep). Anyway, to give you fair warning: we're rewriting the older parts of our story, bringing it up to date and such, so if you're curious, you might just want to go back and read some of it again, just so you're aware that we have made some changes. _

Cham loved Halloween. It was her fifteenth favourite holiday…unless there weren't that many recognized holidays, in which case it was her fourteenth…or thirteenth…or—anyway, it was up there on her list of favourites, right after National Garlic Day and Bug Your Professor Day (which was a common holiday in Cham's calendar, seeing as how she celebrated that one every day). Ah, but we digress.

It was a cloudy day, but Cham barely got a glance out the window before Snape came flicking his wand and closing all the windows as he strode to the front of the room. Cham shrunk in her seat, murmuring, "Maia…he's locking us in!" She finished with a shout.

Snape ignored her, instructing the students to clear off their desks. He opened a box that had multiple layers of dust on it, taking out several unused looking candles.

"Uuuuhhh," Cham gasped outwards, "He's taking out candles for his pagan practices once he's done slaughtering us like bananas!"

"What?" Maia asked, but Cham had already stood and was running for the door. She didn't take the time to try to open it, running into it repeatedly before hitting her head too hard and falling backward with a moan, "The doors are all on **his** side now." She paused before adding, "Et tu, doors?"

Snape, with an unchanged expression of long-suffering, finally spoke again, "Thank you Miss Charm for that…entertainment. Now that class has begun," he started as Maia dragged Cham back to her seat, "We will be examining the properties of salamander venom. But since I am too lazy to collect the venom myself and the board has cut the funding for our academic classes, you will be gathering venom from these salamanders Hagrid was only too kind to offer us," he gritted through his teeth. After a few moments of stunned silence, he stated, "I just said that to make sure you were all listening." He caught Maia's not so amused stare and raised an eyebrow as if to challenge her criticism, "Now to begin the lesson—"

Cham had reawakened from her door-induced stupor, and interrupted loudly, "He's planning on poisoning us with the venom, run away!!!"

The class did not burst into mass chaos like she had hoped, rather, the students just stared at her. "As I was saying," he continued, "you will place your salamander on the candle," he flicked his wand and everybody suddenly had a lighted candle, "and hold a jar under it to catch the secretions that the salamander emits. Please try to be careful and don't **touch** the venom," he added in a bored tone, casting Cham a glance as she was about to lick her salamander.

She quickly handed it to Maia, "Yeah Maia, don't lick the salamander."

Maia just kicked Cham's shin.

Cham moped, leaving Maia to do all the work herself. Of course, as scented candle smells pervaded the room, Cham began to cheer up, smelling the candle and getting in Maia's way.

"Yummy! Vaniller!" Cham exclaimed. She moved on to Draco's table, where he, Crabbe, and Goyle were attempting to keep their salamander from running off the edge of the table. "Draco, you are a…" she inhaled deeply, "cranberry."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Only if you like cranberries."

"Well do **you** like cranberries?" He retaliated.

"Yuck! Of course not!"

Draco hurriedly switched with Pansy, taking her candle which smelled like— "Mmm, it's…pumpkin pie! Extra yummy!" Cham smiled benevolently at Draco, patting him on the head, "Good choice."

Moving on again, she smelled every single candle in the room, telling people their candlescopes. Finally she reached Snape's desk and, before he could stop her, she had picked up his candle and was inhaling so deeply, she got wax on her nose. Picking it off, she scraped it onto his desk, "Sorry professor. Here, you can have your wax back."

He grimaced with distaste at the smear she had made on his clean desk. "Charm…" he began.

"Shh, professor, don't speak. I am digesting the things your candle is revelling to me."

"She meant 'divulging' and 'revealing,' professor," Draco piped up helpfully.

"Shut up, Draco," Cham said absently.

"Stop smelling the candle, Charm," Snape instructed, removing her hand from his face, on which she had plastered it during her attempt at divination.

Cham set it down, "I know you're disappointed, professor, but it's okay. You don't have to have a smelly candle to have a candlescope…wait…I guess you do," she shrugged happily, "Oh well. Guess vampires don't like smelly candles."

"There's your seat, Charm. Use it," he indicated her desk.

"Fine," she whirled around, "I was leaving anyway."

Cham poked Maia when she got back to her seat, 'whispering' in a voice everybody could hear, "Maia, Professor Snape is a vampire for sure this time! I know it! He doesn't like smelly candles!"

Maia rolled her eyes, "You keep thinking that Cham, and maybe someday your dreams will come true."

Her eyes brightened, "You mean, I'll live in a giant cheese wheel? And Draco will be my permanent door-stop?"

Maia gave Cham a confused look, "What?"

"Never mind. You wouldn't understand the inner mechanicals of my…thinking tumour."

Maia agreed, "You're right, Cham, I don't."

Cham sat down, not paying attention to anything but her paper and her quill as class continued. Finally, she elbowed Maia, almost causing her to tip over the candle. The salamander hissed indignantly at Maia, but it went ignored as Cham showed Maia her paper.

"Look what I writed, Maia!"

It read:

I pledge my allergies to the school

Of Hogwarts Witchery and Wizardcraft.

For Professor Snape

One pair of boxers, under his robes,

Dry clean only, with homework and detention for all.

"Cham!" Maia hissed, "You can't write something like this! It's—"

"—Been confiscated, Miss Forthe," Snape took it from her hand. Fortunately, he knew not to read things that Cham had written…at least, not until after class, so the paper stayed safely tucked on top of a stack of essays that he had yet to grade.

As soon as class ended, Cham went racing out of the room to change into her Halloween costume, leaving Maia alone to deal with the repercussions of Cham's… art.

"Forthe," Snape began ominously.

Maia interrupted quickly, "I didn't write that!"

"So I gathered…but since Cham is absent at the moment…" he trailed off, grinning portentously.

And to add suspense to our story, we won't tell what Snape did just then with (or to) Maia. Actually, we don't know, because we left. It was probably something kinky, so its all for the best that we left. After all, when asked what you have read this week, you don't want to answer "about Snape's sex life."

Meanwhile, Cham was getting her costume for her fifteenth favourite holiday, unless there aren't that many holidays and…

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaagridddd!!!!" Cham bounded up and wrapped her arms around one of the grounds keeper's legs. "Happy Halloweeeen!"

"Well, hullo ther, Miss Charm," Hagrid greeted warmly. He wrinkled his nose briefly and added, "I 'ope you've come to get that thing, 'tis stinkin' oop the 'ole garden."

Cham nodded solemnly, "But it is good, 'cause it'll keep the vampires away for a looooooong time." She grinned and patted Hagrid on the back (er…back leg…). "Show me the way to my shield of mass destruction."

Hagrid just blinked.

"Well?" Cham put her hands impatiently on her hips. "Shall we see my wonderful costumeness?"

"Oh. Well, come on then."

They disappeared...

...A sinister figure crept through the hallways, dashing into the shadows and hiding behind (or rather knocking over) suits of armour. Cham Charm, master of disguise, crouched behind a pillar and watched her designated hallway, waiting. Just…waiting.

Severus Snape, unsuspecting victim, went through his nightly rounds with the air of one who didn't want to go through the nightly rounds. Just a moment before, Maia had been in an unusually snuggly mood. Not that Snape particularly liked snuggliness, it was what came after the snuggling that mattered. Snape had happily assumed that Dumbledore had revoked his nightly duties on Halloween, especially after the… "incident" five years ago. Apparently, Dumbledore trusted him to perform his job without running into any three-headed dogs this time…what was that smell? Severus Snape, starting-to-suspect victim, heard a devious giggle from a pillar just ahead of him.

Cham Charm, master of undisguised smells, jumped from her clever hiding place. "AHA!" she screeched, "So, I have caught the vampire on the prowl for his night-time meal!"

Severus Snape, I-can't-believe-this-is-happening-to-me victim, stared for a long, silent moment at Cham, the human garlic clove. "What," he finally managed to choke, "are you wearing?"

"This is my giant garlic costume. Hagrid grew it for me, as he knows the vampires need to be routed out."

Snape took a step away, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "Would you please find a less…grotesque means of playing your silly games?"

"Well it is working, I can see you trembling with fear!"

"No Charm, it merely means that I am trying not to faint because of that stench!"

Cham pointed an accusing finger at him. Or, at least, she tried to in the bulk of her costume, but she only managed to swing an arm towards him and topple a bit. "So you admit your weakness?"

The overwhelming smell of garlic began to give Snape the biggest headache he had ever felt in his extremely long (although he would never admit it) life. He could feel his eyes beginning to tear, obscuring his vision slightly. If it hadn't, he was sure he would have seen green fumes emanating from Cham's…costume in great green waves. It was yucky.

Cham, on the other hand, couldn't smell anything, considering that the head-hole Hagrid had made in the top of the giant garlic clove was very small, and her nose was squashed against a giant wall of white smelliness. She couldn't breathe at all, except through her mouth, and even then, all she could taste was spaghetti. The only means of ventilation came through the tiny eyeholes in the front of her costume, and those were being plugged mostly by clumps of her black hair. She decided that it was now or never.

Just as Snape was forming the words of a stern reprimand and the promise of detention, the unbelievable happened. Cham began to teeter toward him, suddenly breaking into a run. He didn't have time to move; he didn't even have time to think. He just stood stock still, watching as Cham the human train of garlic came at him. The realization of what was happening didn't hit him for another few seconds, and by then it wasn't the only thing that had hit him.

Underneath an overwhelmingly powerful stench and a surprisingly heavy clove of giant garlic, Snape could barely find air to breathe, much less air to speak with. It therefore took him several moments to break free and crawl out from underneath Cham's gigantic blimp-like suit of garlic. When he finally managed to do so, the first thing he did was lie on the cold stone, gasping for breath as he tried to suppress the urge to show Cham everything he had eaten for dinner.

He turned around, about to reprimand Cham, when he realized nobody was there. Whirling extra-grumpily in a circle, he realized that Cham was gone. She had just disappeared. Frowning, he wondered if it had just been a dream…a hallucination. Maybe he was sick…curse that fermented pumpkin juice Dumbledore had insisted he try. Shifting his head just a little to the side, he caught a whiff of the shoulder of his robe. Blegh. It had definitely not been a dream.

Cautiously taking one last peek down the dark hallway, Snape came to the conclusion that he was utterly alone. Cham had managed to disappear completely. He knew he should be happy; maybe Cham would try her disappearing act again sometime later…like in the middle of a lesson. Or maybe he could help her disappear…permanently. This devious thought fuelled his mind long enough for him to make it just inside the door of his office, which—upon entering—he slumped against. He still smelled like garlic.

Closing his eyes with Cham-induced exhaustion, he didn't open them again for the longest time, but when he finally did, he wished he hadn't. Before him stood the silhouette of Cham the Clove of Terror, bathed in the pale moonlight. He let out the longest, highest shriek he had ever shrieked since he had gone through puberty. She had returned...

..."I still can't believe you thought I was Cham! And that shriek!" Maia burst out into a fit of giggles, "Who…who…" she had to stop for a long time to rid herself of the laughing spasm that attacked her. When she had finally gotten a hold of herself and wiped the tears from her eyes, she finished, "Who knew you were a soprano!" She began laughing again.

Snape merely glowered at her from dark, sleep deprived sockets. "How was I supposed to know you were rearranging my cauldrons?" He took another swig of whiskey. It didn't help much, but at least after four bottles he couldn't smell the garlic anymore.

"I was bored. You left right when I was feeling snuggly."

"Well it wasn't **my** fault!" Snape snapped (Otherwise known as Snaped).

Maia sighed, "Well, professor, I don't mean to bear you more bad news but… I'm afraid you're just going to have to sleep on the floor tonight. You smell like… something smelly. What exactly **do** you get when you mix garlic with whiskey?"

He merely grunted. After a few moments of odiferous silence, he suddenly exclaimed, "Wait just one #$&#$ moment! This is **my** room! **You** sleep on the floor!"

"Well…you said I could sleep in here tonight, and Cham wanted to have a jelly bean party, so she invited another girl to stay in my bed. You can't just kick me out now, can you?"

"Why don't you go join the jelly bean party?"

"Because if Cham's been in that garlic suit since class let out it's probably turned into a smelly bean party. I'm not setting foot in that room for a long time."

"Then you sleep on the floor," Snape grumped at her. As if to make a point, he made his way to the bed where Maia was already situated (it took him a while because the furniture kept tripping him), sitting down and wiggling quite snugly into the blankets.

Maia screeched loudly, "Eew, eew, No! Professor! You just made the sheets all smelly!" She hurriedly scooted away, landing with a sharp thud on the cold stone floor.

Snape, smiling smugly, pulled the sheets up to his chin and did something he would never have done if he was sober. He blew a raspberry at Maia.

She glared at him, "Bad professor. Bad."

"Mmm…thanks," he muttered, his eyes drooping closed.

Maia suddenly realized she was all alone in the cold dark room on the cold dark floor in the cold dark dungeon. Then, with a cold dark smile, a cold dark thought dawned on her. Standing up, she made her way into Snape's office, rifling through the drawers until she found his grading quill with the red, super permanent ink. Opening the bottle, she looked inside. There was just enough ink left…

She came back into the room with an evil smile imprinted on her face. It would have scared even Moldyvort, but nobody was there to see it at the moment, her unsuspecting victim sound asleep and completely unaware.

"Happy Halloween," she murmured darkly as she brought the point of the quill to his forehead.


	29. Return of Chaos

_Alright, here's our new chapter. It's short but sweet...well actually it's kind of sour...like a sour patch kid or something like that. Anyway, here! (p.s. if you didn't already get the memo, we've been updating the beginning of our story so it's better. Think of it as construction work on a bad road. If you're curious, go ahead and read it)._

"Curse you, Forthe!"

It had been nearly a week since Maia had drawn on Snape's face, but no amount of spells or washing had done any good. Snape still had a lovely bright red set of hairy eyebrows, a curling moustache complete with a goatee, and a monocle around his right eye. Even the Weasley twins couldn't have done a better job. And he was paying for it dearly.

Even that morning, as he scrubbed at his face, he could still see very clearly the outline of Maia's artwork. He heard a giggle at his back and whirled to see Maia leaning against the doorframe, a hand tightly clasped over her mouth, vainly trying to hide a grin. "Sorry, professor. I didn't think you meant the ink would stain for weeks when you told me it was super permanent."

He pointedly ignored her comment, wiping off his face and glaring at Maia as he brushed past her. Maia wondered for a moment if she should tell him that Madame Pomfrey had found a solution that might take the ink off his face, but she decided to let him find the note. It took him a while, especially considering that he spent several minutes pacing the floor of his office as he remembered everything he needed to do that day. Finally, as he sat down to his desk, his eyes lighted on the small scrap of paper lying on top of a set of essays.

"What's this?" He grunted bad-temperedly.

"Oh, a note from Madame Pomfrey," Maia sighed off-handedly, "It's nothing really."

He squinted at it for a moment, taking a few minutes to absorb the message. Frowning, he suddenly jumped up, "Why didn't you tell me about this?!"

Maia shrugged, "I didn't think it would be all that important to you. You look very nice in a monocle."

Glowering at her, he swept out of the room, hurrying to the hospital wing. Maia smiled and sat down, wanting to see him when he came back. In his hurry, he had missed the backside of the note, which Maia had seen when she received the note. She knew the side-effects of the very acidic solution Madame Pomfrey had offered to use, side-effects that would only cause more devastation to the abused professor's ego over the next few days.

X...X

"I'm blue."

It was said very calmly, with no hint of malice, anger, or even sorrow. It was simply a statement. The sigh that followed it, however, attested to Snape's complete defeat.

Indeed, Maia had to feel sorry for him, but she was forced to agree with him as well. It had become pathetic now, she thought as she stared at her beloved professor. He looked like a smurf.

"Don't worry, sir; Madame Pomfrey said it would wear off in a couple of days." Maia tried to comfort him, putting her hand on his.

He merely grunted in reply, but after a few minutes' silence, he couldn't resist retorting, "And just what do you expect me to do until then?"

"Professor Dumbledore has already agreed to lend you a substitute. You can just stay here."

"Are you telling me that the only solution is to hide from every single pest who thinks they're brave enough to find out what happened to me?"

"Nobody will bother you. They probably just think you're sick."

He gave a wry laugh, "Ha! You and I both know that Charm will be bursting to come see the latest development in your prank." Glowering at Maia, he added, "She thought the monocle was **so** entertaining."

Maia was affronted that he should attack her when all she was trying to do was help. "You brought it on yourself, professor. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to find somebody who appreciates my company. You can just sit here and wallow in self-pity."

He put on a good show of being offended, but once she left the façade dropped and Severus Snape, Blue-Man _pro tempore_, wallowed in self-pity.

X...X

The merriment at Snape's cost did not end after he had finally been returned to a normal state of being. All traces of blue had faded from his face, and he was enjoying a butterbeer in the common room with Maia curled in one arm when Cham suddenly joined them, plopping down into a chair with aristocratic aplomb.

"Dear professor, how are you doing? I had heard of your plight and decided that it would only be fitting if I treated you to a nice pumpkin juice."

"No, Charm, that will be unnecessary," he took a drink of butterbeer to prove his point.

"Professor," Cham remained as unbending as ever, her charming composure beginning to fade, "I insist." She pushed the mug to the other side of the table, "Please. It will make you feel better."

Raising an eyebrow, Snape eyed Cham suspiciously, but he could sense nothing amiss. Indeed, Cham being nice to him was odd, but if she had been trying to poison him, it would have been rather obvious. Cham was not one for hiding secrets…not well, at least.

He could tell that Cham was in one of her stubborn moods, and that she wouldn't leave unless he took a drink. He could also tell that Maia was getting annoyed; despite the fact that she didn't say anything he could feel her shift irritably to one side. After a quick inspection of the drink, he determined that it was safe, and he let a small drop escape through his lips.

"Thank you Charm, now if you don't mind—"

"Professor," Cham held up a hand, interrupting, "You need to drink it all to keep up your strength."

He watched her through narrowed eyes, but the pumpkin juice had been fine, so he obliged her. However, he too was getting annoyed, and he didn't waste time as he spoke. "Alright, Charm, now leave."

Cham huffed, "Well you're certainly grumpy." She remained where she was, suddenly adding in a curious voice, "Are you sure you're not feeling the smallest bit happy?"

Snape gave her a questioning look, but Maia spoke before he could, "Cham, go away. The professor doesn't want to be bothered by an annoying pest like yourself."

Cham didn't move, staring at Snape with determined scrutiny. "You look the same." She paused and waited for a few moments, unnerving Snape. He now knew that she had to have put something in the drink. Harmless, probably, but possibly embarrassing.

"Charm, what did you do to the drink?" He asked softly, suddenly leaning forward and grabbing her shirt collar with menacing force, his teeth bared in a snarl.

She seemed unaware of the danger. (Cham wouldn't have run away if a grizzly bear had grabbed her by the shirt and roared in her face…she would have just given it a mint). "Are you **sure** you don't feel happy?" She asked with clinical objectivity.

"I **am** happy, Charm!" He bellowed ferociously, "Now tell me what you did—" He suddenly stopped mid-sentence. "Happy?" He asked in a hoarse whisper, staring past Cham with realization. Looking back at Cham, he carefully questioned her, enunciating every word with extreme care, "Where is the rest of that potion, Charm?"

Cham grinned, "You want more? I knew you'd like it! Here!" She hurriedly scooped the fair-sized glass bottle from one of her pockets, placing it in Snape's outstretched hand, "You can have as much as you want!"

She wriggled out of the professor's grip, scuttling away. As she hurried past Maia, she whispered loudly to her friend, "It's the antidote to vampires! He's a tough nut to crack, but maybe it'll work!"

Maia and Snape turned to each other with mild surprise. Maia finally voiced both of their thoughts, "Who knew that the happy potion would be for you?"

"Hmm…" Snape stared thoughtfully at the bottle, "I certainly didn't expect her just to hand it over like that."

Maia laughed suddenly, "And to think she thought it was the antidote to vampires. She must think all vampires are grumpy, like you!"

Snape paused, slowly turning to face Maia, "You aren't beginning to believe her, are you?"

"About what?" Maia asked, her face the picture of childish innocence.

"I am not a vampire!" He snarled, standing and striding for his office, his black robes billowing behind him. Maia was sure that if she could see his feelings, they would be billowing behind him as well, black and dark and cold. So much for Cham's happy potion.


	30. The BITE

_Alright, here's our next chapter; _Back in Time Edventures _(Cham named this chapter). Don't get hurt while reading it! _

It was one of those rare late-autumn days during which the sun was out and the air refreshingly cool. Maia, unable to find anything else to do, was lying on the leaf-scattered ground, observing the contrasting blue of the lake, the light blue sky, the green pine trees, and all the golds, reds, browns, and oranges of the other trees. All the annoying little birds had migrated, leaving it peacefully quiet outside. Of course, Cham had not migrated, and Maia was soon interrupted by her.

"Maia! Maia! Look what I found!" Cham nearly tripped over her friend, who sat up, shedding all the leaves that had fallen on her while she was lying there.

"What is it, Cham?" Maia looked at the object strung about the girl's neck.

"It's a necklace thingy! Here, look, it fits around you too!"

Before Maia could protest, Cham had thrown the chain around her neck and was twirling a tiny hourglass that hung from it.

"Look, Maia! It spins!"

"Cham, don't—" Maia began to warn her friend, but she was too late.

Anybody who had been watching this curious scene would have seen the two girls suddenly and mysteriously disappear. Unfortunately, nobody was there to se them, and nobody knew where they had gone…at least, they didn't remember.

"Thanks for the headache, Cham," Maia groaned, sitting up from her landing position. Feeling something poking her painfully in the backside, she pulled a mangled time-turner from underneath her. "Augh! Cham!"

Cham didn't respond, too busy staring around her. "Darn. Everything looks the same."

Maia began to investigate their surroundings as well, wondering exactly how far Cham had sent them. She was about to grab Cham by the collar and drag her toward the castle when she heard a strange muffled voice from behind a nearby tree.

She curiously walked around it, catching sight of another student with familiar looking black hair. He had his knees drawn up to his chest, and his head was down so Maia couldn't see his face.

"Er…is something bothering you?" Maia asked carefully.

"Haven't you already caused enough trouble?" The student asked bitterly.

"Hey, wait a second. I think you've got me confused with someone else. I haven't been here long enough to do anything."

The black-haired adolescent glared up at Maia, who took a sharp intake of breath. Dark, cold eyes met her own as he snarled, "Well go away."

Maia backed up, shocked at the sight of the much-younger version of Snape. However, before she could say anything, Cham interrupted, "Hey Maia, what're you—oh, hi professor…" She said, glancing at young Snape. "I…" Cham's eyes widened (although nobody could see them), and she suddenly did a double-take, "HOLY MOLEY! You're like…a zillion years younger!" She shrieked.

Maia clapped a hand over Cham's mouth, "Shut up!" She hissed before addressing Snape, "Ignore her. She's crazy."

He just gave them a queer look and nodded, apparently too absorbed in his own matters to care very much. Maia was just about to inquire further, but once again was interrupted.

"Found yourself a pity party, eh, Snivellus?" A soft voice purred from behind Maia.

She whirled around, her wand already out, ready to hex whoever was rude enough to sneak up behind her like that. Maia choked. Cham gasped and swallowed her gum. Before them stood Sirius Black and…Harry Potter? Maia shook her head, no; this must be Harry's dad: James.

A sudden shadow fell over Maia and lanky young Snape pushed in front of her, his wand already out.

"They aren't with me. I don't even know who they are."

Maia knew he had a reason to say that, but it still hurt.

"You seem awfully protective of these…'strangers.'" James said provokingly.

Snape seemed about to say something, but Maia was faster, "Least he doesn't go around annoying people like you two fatheads."

Sirius pulled out his wand, "I don't like your tone."

"Well I don't like your face," Maia retorted, pushing the tip of her wand aggressively into his nose, "I could get rid of this for you." She decided that Sirius must have been one of those stupid boys who didn't mature until he was grown.

James put his wand to Maia's forehead, leering at Snape, "They really like to do your fighting for you, don't they?"

Snape frowned, pushing Maia out of the way, "I don't need your help!"

James and Sirius both sneered as Maia glared up at Snape from her position on the ground. Cham hid behind a bush. She knew what was coming next.

Maia growled deep in her throat, "Well then, since you seem so hotheaded…" She levitated Snape with a flick of her wand, "let me cool you off!" She dropped him in the lake. James and Sirius snickered, and Maia whirled on them, "And as for you…"

Cham came out from under the bush a few moments later to see two adolescent boys screaming and hanging by their underwear from a tree. Maia was a rapidly receding point, headed for the castle.

Cham trotted quickly to catch up, finally managing to ask, "Where…going… Mai…uh?"

"I don't care! Far away from those twits!"

Cham stopped, "Where's that?"

"I told you, I DON'T CARE!" Maia kept walking, glaring at the ground, furiously muttering under her breath. Her head collided with someone's chest, and she mumbled a sorry without looking up.

"Professor!" Cham squealed, racing toward the man.

Maia looked up and her eyes widened, "Er…headmaster…"

He greeted them warmly, "I've been expecting you."

Maia and Cham gave each other confused looks, "Huh?"

"The exchange students, right?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled and the right one twitched. If Maia hadn't known better, she would have thought it was a wink.

Oh…er…right," Maia nodded quickly.

Cham just drooled, still trying to catch up on the conversation.

"I received notice of your predicament," he smiled, waving a bit of parchment absently in one hand. It looked as though the note on it was written in his own spidery handwriting. "I'll try to find you another time-turner Miss Forthe. Until then, go about your normal schedules. I'll explain things to the teachers."

Maia nodded, "Alright," she replied a little dazedly. How did Dumbledore know everything? "Er…where should we…stay?"

"There's a spare dormitory in the Slytherin chambers. You should be quite comfortable there. I believe a good phrase is 'rallintandus.'"

Maia smiled broadly, "Thanks, professor."

"Of course. And be sure to avoid the room of requirement. It's been acting up lately." With that, Dumbledore ambled away.

Maia glanced at Cham before motioning to her confused friend that they should go inside. Once in the common room, Maia flopped down in her favorite old chair, which was now quite new, twirling her wand boredly. She had nothing to do: Snape didn't like her (and he was in the process of imitating a drowned rat) and Cham was busily chewing on some strange piece of candy she had found in her pocket. It demanded her full attention, considering that she was unable to multitask.

Maia sighed and closed her eyes. It had only been a few moments when for the third freaking time that day she was interrupted.

"Hey, you don't look familiar. Where are you from?"

Maia looked up at the sullen-faced girl with black hair: Bellatrix. She stilled her hand, which had automatically gripped her wand tightly. At the moment, Maia thought Sirius deserved what he would get.

"I'm an exchange student. Cham," she indicated the busily chewing person on her left, "and I are from America."

"I see," Bellatrix gave Cham an odd look, but she seemed friendly enough toward Maia. Even Bellatrix, however, was interrupted as a dripping, moppish Snape burst in, striding up to Maia. "You—" He snarled, his white spidery hand outstretched as though he wanted to strangle her.

Bellatrix interrupted with a laugh, "Severus! What happened to you?"

He glared at her through a mane of dripping black hair.

Maia defended herself lazily, "Oh, come on. You **deserved** it. I tried to help you!"

He shoved his wand in her face, "That still doesn't give you the right to—"

"To embarrass you? Well sorry for trying to help! Next time, I won't!" Maia pushed his wand out of the way and stalked out of the room, pushing over an unsuspecting first-year.

Bellatrix gave Snape a long look before shaking her head.

"What?" He growled.

"I think she likes you, Sev."

"WHAT?" This next statement was several decibels louder and even more octaves higher. "But she attacked me!"

"Maybe she's the love-hate kind of girl," Bellatrix shrugged, finding amusement in Snape's reactions.

He threw his hands up in the air, "What next? Soon you'll be telling me that that thing's a hamster!" He pointed to Cham, who indeed resembled her Chamster self with her cheeks full of candy. It was the kind that didn't get smaller as you ate it, but bigger, and she was having a tough time trying to eat it all.

Bellatrix just smiled, wondering what she might have just started…

X...X

The next day being Sunday (a very boring and unentertaining day to a student who had all his homework done by mid afternoon on Saturday), young Snape gained enough courage to ask Bellatrix for help. "Er…about yesterday…what am I supposed to do about that girl?"

"Who, Maia? You'd better apologize. If she forgives you, take things from there."

"If not?"

"Run."

Snape gulped, "Thanks." He decided not to go looking for Maia. That would be suicide. He'd wait until he saw her, and then attempt communication. He hoped it would be a while before he came across her. Unfortunately, that moment came sooner than expected.

Maia was wandering the halls, searching for something to do. Cham was still busy with her candy, and there was nothing interesting happening in the dungeons. Well, not until Sirius showed up, closely followed by James, Wormtail, and the much younger Remus Lupin. She wasn't worried about the latter two, but Sirius and James looked sinister and ready to harm Maia. She decided to try and scare them off.

"Buzz off, fruitheads."

"Why? You don't have anything important to do, right?" Sirius leaned against the wall ahead of her.

Maia turned only to face James, who was leaning against the other wall. "You're not getting off that easily."

She fumbled for her wand, but as soon as her hand gripped it, two wands had already been shoved in her face. Maia glanced to the side, casting a pleading glance at Wormtail and Remus, who seemed a bit nicer than their friends. They had no interest in her, however, their eyes riveted on the two boys cornering Maia. Wormtail seemed full of glee and excitement for the ensuing fight, but Remus just looked exasperated with them.

"Come on, Peter. Let's go."

Maia watched in horror as her only possible source of help disappeared.

James grinned, "You've got nobody to help you this time."

Sirius grabbed her shoulder and whirled her around, "We'll show you what Gryffindor boys do to Slytherins who get too cocky." He pressed his wand against her neck.

"Don't you even think about it—"

Maia hurriedly pulled out her wand as James and Sirius turned to see who had come to Maia's aid.

"Ha! What're you going to do to help her, Snivellus? Drown us with your tears?"

Snape frowned, "I'm going to even things up a bit."

At this, three more figures emerged from the gloom. Bellatrix and Fenrir both had their wands trained on the two boys, and Cham was in close range, despite the fact that she was still absorbed by her candy.

"Five to two? Are you joking?" Sirius cast a nervous glance at James, "That's nowhere near even!"

"Oh, that's too bad…" Snape put on a mocking face, and shrugged, "It must be my poor math skills."

James glowered at him, "Fine. We'll leave the girl alone." He turned and nudged Sirius, indicating that it was time to go. The boy followed his friend reluctantly, glaring back at Maia. James called back, "I still say you're awfully protective of that 'stranger.'"

Snape snarled, but did not follow, content to see Maia smiling at him.

She punched his shoulder in a friendly way, not quite sure how else to react, "Thanks. You really saved my bacon."

Snape couldn't help but smile back, "No problem."

Bellatrix grinned, and elbowed Fenrir, who growled at her, obviously not understanding the message she was trying to get across. "Ow! What wazzat for?"

Cham took another bite of her candy, which was now reaching enormous proportions and was becoming difficult for her to tote around. She beamed radiantly at Maia, glad to share in her friend's victory. As Maia passed her, she held out a glob of what looked like a pasty blob of chewed gum, "Wan' some?" She offered through a sticky mess of candy.

Maia declined politely.

X...X

Maia usually liked wandering the gardens with young Snape, but this night was different. He seemed distressed and strangely absentminded, but he wouldn't tell Maia why. It frustrated her. Finally, she told Snape that she would like to go back to her dormitory. He just nodded and watched her walk away. Looking back, Maia saw another figure approaching Snape, a girl about his age with long, pretty red hair. Maia watched as they walked slowly over the stone walkway. They said a few things to each other, their faces becoming more pained and more animated as the conversation drew on. She was too far away to hear what they were saying, but she could hear their voices. Were they arguing? Maia shook her head and turned to go. She wondered who that girl was and why she had met Snape out here. There were definitely some things she wanted to ask her professor when she got back…

It wasn't until near morning when Snape finally came back to the common room. Maia was waiting for him.

"So, who was that?" She stood up and approached him.

Snape jumped, startled by her sudden appearance, but his surprised face turned quickly into a solemn mask. "Nobody," he shrugged.

She stared closely at his face, "Ooh, Severus, I think you like her." Maia teased him, although she felt a twinge at the idea that Snape might like somebody other than her.

"No." He shook his head vehemently, but Maia thought she saw doubt flash briefly in his eyes. After a few moments of awkward silence, he continued, "We grew up together. She was **supposed** to be my best friend." He scoffed bitterly, "Now I wonder…" Huffing irately, he glared angrily at Maia, "Ever since she was sorted into Gryffindor, she's complained about the company **I** keep! As though Black is any better than Malfoy or Lestrange. They're certainly better than Potter," he spit out the name vehemently.

"Er…" Maia couldn't think of anything to say. She still had no idea who the redheaded girl was.

Snape merely ignored her and kept ranting, "And Miss Lily Evans still thinks that being Gryffindor makes her better than anybody else. Well I'll show her when I'm a Death Eater! She'll **have** to see my reasoning then."

Maia made a face, "Death Eater?"

Snape suddenly stopped ranting, turning to her as though she lived in a cave, "Yeah. A follower of…of the dark lord. Why? You don't want to be one?"

Pulling a disgusted face, Maia pushed up her sleeve, showing him her dark mark, "I already am."

Snape couldn't speak for a few moments. Finally, he breathed, "Not fair."

Maia pulled her sleeve back down, grimacing, "It's not as great as you think. Just wait and find out…"

X...X

The next day, Maia found Cham bothering a very much younger Lucius Malfoy, but only because he resembled Draco a lot (except he wasn't as whiny). She kept poking his homework, which he was trying to finish during breakfast. Sitting down beside Cham, Maia heard her squeal, "Ooh, Draco, I didn't know you would be here! I'm so happy to see you! Now we can eliminate all the vampires in the world before I'm even born!"

Lucius just gave her an annoyed look, replying irritably, "Will you stop poking my Transfiguration homework? And my name is not Draco! I'm Lucius!" He scoffed and added, "I don't even like the name Draco."

Cham stared at him in confusion for a moment before a shiny piece of toast caught her eye and she stuffed it into her mouth. She saw Maia and greeted her, spraying her with toast crumbs, "Hi Mfaia!"

Maia brushed herself off impatiently, whispering, "Cham, we have to find Dumbledore. I'm sick of being stuck in the past. Let's just—" She stopped speaking with a sudden squeak as a disgruntled Snape sat down beside her.

He didn't even look at her as he pushed a slab of butter around his porridge, obviously too preoccupied to try to eat it. Maia stared at him with a strange, sad sort of curiosity, but didn't say anything for fear that he would snap at her.

Cham, meanwhile, decided to flick a grape at his head.

Whirling on her, Snape aimed his wand under the table at her, a burst of odd coloured light emanating from somewhere in that dark void under the table. Cham squealed loudly, but it wasn't loud enough to hide the voice that called Snape from a few feet away.

"Severus!" Lily Evans met Snape's eyes for a moment with her vivid green ones, but he looked back down, ignoring any further attempt she could have made to communicate with him. She stared at him for a moment before turning slowly away and making for the Gryffindor table.

Maia felt bad for Lily, but not enough to reprimand young Snape for ignoring her. It didn't bother how miserable Snape looked at the moment. She knew he'd get over it. After all, she hadn't heard anything about Lily before.

Maia patted young Snape awkwardly on the hand, "It's okay. Gryffindors aren't that great anyway. In fact, I know one kid you're going to—" She suddenly went quiet, realizing that talking about Harry Potter in the presence of a man who would one day live to grant him several detentions out of pure spite might be a bad idea.

Snape merely stared sorrowfully at her. He poked at his food again before he suddenly looked back up at her. "Maia," he started, "I really…I like her."

Maia frowned, but was brought out of her thoughts by a smack in the head. Turning on Cham, she glowered at the girl. "What was that for?"

Cham merely giggled and elbowed Lucius, who merely scooted farther away from her. "Hey Maia, are you feeling a little…toasty? Hahaha!"

Growling angrily, Maia felt something sticky on the back of her head. Investigating carefully, she peeled a piece of buttered toast out of her hair. "Cham—"

Maia felt a hand touch hers, and she turned to look at Snape, who smiled slowly, "Maybe we both need to work on finding new friends."

Nodding in agreement, Maia smiled as she kicked somebody's shin under the table and heard Cham squeal unhappily. "Let's start right now."

X...X

It only took a few days for Cham's candy to become too big to fit through the doors, and she was forced to stuff it back into the void that she called her 'pocket' after it slipped from her grasp and went rolling through the classroom just as students were handing in their papers. Once Professor Binns, who was still alive at this point in time, had scraped most of the essays off of Cham's candy, Cham was given a detention and forced to spend the next night cleaning up the trail her sticky blob had left behind.

It was during this particular night that Maia found herself happily conversing with Lucius and Snape, sitting comfortably close to the latter of the two.

The conversation had lulled for a bit when a surprisingly familiar drawl called Maia back into reality. "Forthe—"

She was nearly torn in two as she turned around to face the tall, white-faced, very grown-up Professor Snape. Alarm turned quickly into relief, which spread to surprise that Snape had found her, finally melting into dismay when she realized that she would have to say goodbye to her student friends. She was particularly disappointed that she would no longer be able to converse comfortably with Lucius, who she blamed for her precarious Death Eater situation.

Maia approached Snape carefully, "Professor, you…how did you…?"

He smiled wearily and replied, "Dumbledore hinted that I should find you here." He held out a hand, "Come. It's time for you and Charm to stop meddling with the past."

Maia reached out to take his hand, but she suddenly glanced back at the two students, both of whom were staring open-mouthed at the strange apparition. She was relieved that they didn't seem to recognize Snape as his older self.

"One minute," she replied to the waiting professor.

Slowly closing the space between them, Maia approached young Snape, who watched her warily. "What's going on? Who is that man?"

"I have to go, Severus."

The young man frowned, "Why? Because **he** said so?" He tried to get past her, but Maia blocked him.

"No. I don't belong here."

He lost all tough pretences, his face falling drastically, "What?"

Maia took a deep breath. She had to cut things short. She could hear grown Snape tapping his foot impatiently. It seemed he didn't care much for his younger self. "Look, I have to go now. Bye." She leaned forward and briefly touched his lips with hers. "I'll see you in a few years, maybe."

He looked at her in astonishment, but she didn't see it because she quickly turned away and took the hand that grown Snape was still holding out. Leading them from the room, he stepped into the office that would be his in several years, but which was now occupied by Slughorn. The fat professor was nowhere in sight at the moment, however, and Snape decided this was a safe enough place.

He drew Maia in and instructed Cham (who had mysteriously known where to find them as she finished detention) to come and stand on Maia's other side. Throwing a thin golden chain around their necks, he twisted the time-turner carefully and in a completely opposite manner than Cham's reckless whirling which had brought them there.

They appeared in the same office, although now it bore Snape's cold dark influence. Said professor sat down wearily at his desk and rubbed his brow. He seemed exhausted, considering that he merely stated, "It is late. You should return to your dormitory."

Cham immediately obeyed, not really caring about the change in her environment. "Okey dokey, Professor Choky," she shrugged and moseyed from the room.

Maia hesitated, looking back at the professor just before she stepped through the door. She saw him touch two fingers to his lips and close his eyes, whispering quietly, "I'd forgotten." He looked up to see Maia watching him, and he smiled briefly.

Maia smiled back.

She seemed reluctant to leave, her curious side wanting to know what had happened to Lily and why she had never heard of the girl, but his smile left just as quickly as it had appeared, almost as if he had heard her thoughts.

"Bed. Now."

Maia left..._hastily_.


	31. Winter Wonders

_Alright, this is the first part of Cham's lovely Christmas. Read. Enjoy. Hahaha!_

The next morning dawned cold, white, and wintry, the sun hidden behind dense layers of dark clouds. As Maia glanced out the window at the fog that hung low over the school, she had that same feeling of cold suspension inside herself. Something bad was going to happen today; she could just feel it.

She glanced over at Cham's bed, which was still occupied by a sleeping entity with black hair that obscured her face from view even more in sleep, and decided that now would be a good time to go take a hot bath. Padding down the hall in her bare feet, her pyjama bottoms trailing past her ankles, Maia nearly tripped several times, wondering how the dark, silky green pants had suddenly gotten so long. Hmm, she thought, pulling them up; they were a little big around the waist too. But—_oh_—she suddenly realized—_these aren't mine.—_ Blinking in surprise and wondering how in the heck she had accidentally grabbed Snape's pyjamas, Maia hurried to the bathroom. It would be a good idea to bathe and return the pants as soon as possible, hopefully before Snape noticed. She had to pause, though, and think for a moment. If she was wearing his pj pants, what was he wearing?

The thought made her cringe even to the point that she shortened her bath to a mere ten minutes, and her hair—still wet—dripped down the collar of her shirt as she ran down the snaking dungeon corridors and into Snape's office. It was empty, which was a good sign. Perhaps he had gone to breakfast. It was the first Saturday of the Christmas holidays, which meant that many people slept in. She hoped that Snape, who was usually up, out of the shower, shaved, and dressed by five in the morning, had made an exception today.

Cautiously, Maia crept into the next room, peering furtively from behind a cauldron that was strategically placed just beside the door. _–Cornflakes!—_she cursed, seeing that familiar figure standing at another cauldron. He wasn't doing anything, just stirring contemplatively, but Maia knew he would see her if she tried to sneak into the back room. –_Well, maybe if I left them—_

"Forthe!" Snape barked, having seen the corner of Maia's cloak peeking from behind the cauldron. "What business do you have here?" He eyed her suspiciously as she sidled from her hiding place.

"Professor, are you in a good mood right now? Because I can always come back," Maia smiled disarmingly.

"You know I'm never in a good mood, Forthe. Now what is it?" He asked impatiently.

"Well, you see, I just realized that—"

"What's that behind your back?" Snape didn't care for Maia's stuttering attempts at breaking news to him; he was brewing a very important potion.

"Er, it's your pyjamas, sir. I think I accidentally—" Maia stopped abruptly as Snape turned his full attention to her. His upper lip twitched, and his hand moved unconsciously toward his mouth. He stood there for a moment, just staring at the pants that Maia held in her hand.

"And you…you wore those?" His voice quavered curiously.

"Yes," Maia whispered, afraid that he was really mad.

He made an attempt to clear his throat, "Well, Forthe, I suppose…you'll have to…well, you'll—"

Maia suddenly heard him emit an ungainly sound that could only be interpreted as a laugh. With relief, she realized that indeed the professor found it quite amusing for some strange reason. He turned around and reached for something behind him, holding it up—Maia's pants!

"I wondered who would be daring enough to shrink…my pants," he traded Maia, looking at his pants. He seemed to have gotten control of himself, but at the word 'pants,' which he seemed to find hilarious, he burst into another fit of laughter.

Maia was scared. "Er, sir, are you alright? You haven't accidentally drunk Cham's happy potion…have you?"

"No." He suddenly frowned, "Why is it that every time I show any sign of mirth, you pounce on me?"

"Because you usually only find 'mirth' in things that disturb other people. Like when Cham set Ron's bottom on fire in class the other week."

A smile curled around Snape's mouth, "As I recall, I wasn't the only one who enjoyed Weasley's…show."

Maia bowed her head, trying not to snicker. She still couldn't think about it without laughing. "Alright, but what about the time Cham splattered Harry with wyvern saliva? He smelled worse than old sneakers for a week…" Maia broke off, laughing uncontrollably.

Snape had a very pleased grin on his face. "You seem to have liked that as well, Forthe."

Fine, but I'm sure—"

"Forthe, this is very entertaining, but I have a potion to brew," Snape, having remembered what he had been doing before Maia's interruption, turned away from her again, looking at the rust coloured brew anxiously. There must have been something wrong with it, because he muttered darkly under his breath and ransacked the small pile of ingredients beside him, finally choosing one crystal vial and carefully tipping a small amount of the contents into the cauldron. The mixture hissed and bubbled, but with a couple of flicks of his stirring rod, he calmed it, watching with satisfaction as it turned bright red.

Maia came a little closer, "What is it?" She sniffed it curiously.

"!!!" Snape exclaimed, "Don't **touch** that!"

"I didn't—"

"Do you know what this is?" He asked fiercely.

"Er…poison?"

"It's a love potion, you dunderhead!" He hissed angrily, "And I think we've had enough mishaps with potions like these, don't you?"

Maia didn't bother to ask why he was making it muttering, "Right…sorry."

She made a face and stepped back, keeping her distance from the flowery-smelling potion. "I'll just, er, put these in your room." Picking up the green pants, she backed away and entered the safety of the bed-chamber (a fancy word for another room with several more cauldrons and jars of pickled things with a bed tucked away somewhere in the midst of all these odd things). Dropping her bundle, Maia was about to leave when she heard a roaring sound from behind her.

Whirling, Maia came face to face with…nothing. The roaring sound continued, and Maia curiously looked around, trying to identify the source. The noise was coarse and harsh, kind of like the sound of gravel being ground in a blender, and it reverberated off the walls, making it hard to pinpoint an originating location. She wondered why Snape hadn't heard it. Of course, just as she thought this, the sound abruptly stopped. A low, guttural moan emanated from somewhere on the other side of the room, however, and Maia decided to investigate.

Approaching the bed, which was where the sound had seemed to come from, Maia caught sight of a large lump under the bedsheets, too big to just be a bump. She carefully reached out her hand, throwing the blankets back suddenly.

"AUGH!" A man, relatively tall with black, shaggy hair and a lot of stubble on his chin sat up abruptly, shouting in Maia's face with the force of a tornado. He had huge lungs (trust us; he opened his mouth so wide that Maia could see that far down his throat), attesting to the fact that he had been the source of the gravel blending sound. He had been snoring. His breath smelled of rum and garlic, which made Maia sure that Snape must not have the faintest clue that there was a strange man in his bed. Snape still hated garlic.

"Holy cornflakes!" Maia shouted back, leaping into the air and bounding over cauldrons and jars and other strange things to get to the door. She hurriedly dashed through the door, slamming it behind her and locking it before she leaned, panting, against the wood, staring ahead with horror.

Snape curiously looked at her and decided that his potion could wait, approaching her cautiously. "Forthe?"

Maia looked up at him, "Professor! Professor, I…I didn't do it, but I think you—you should know…"

"Know what?"

"There's a man in your room!"

He frowned, "In there?"

Maia nodded, "That's impossible! I just—" he unlocked the door, pulled his wand out, and carefully peered into the room.

"#$&#!" Maia heard several expletives that even she hadn't known.

Snape retracted his head from the doorway, nearly slamming it in the door. "Rudolphus," he muttered darkly, glaring ahead of him.

"Who's that?" Maia asked, getting over her initial shock.

"You don't—"

The door suddenly burst open, throwing Snape forward as the strange man emerged. Maia noticed he was fairly tall, at least as tall as Snape, and he had a very pronounced roundness in his abdomen. The rest of his form could be described as stringy, and his black eyes were narrow, as if he had trouble seeing things at a distance.

"Rudolphus, you…what are you doing here?" Snape's question had a desperate ring to it.

"It's the hollydaze, Svrus! Don't you know that?" He bellowed amiably, apparently thinking that shouting would help his words carry across their meaning better.

"Rudolphus, you shouldn't—"

"Oh, hello," Rudolphus, obviously not listening to Snape in the first place, greeted Maia politely, extending a sweaty hand toward her.

She took it carefully, not surprised when he gripped her hand firmly and shook it vigorously. In fact, he didn't let go until Snape, wiping the cut on his mouth with his sleeve, stumbled forward and pried their hands apart. He stepped in front of Maia, putting his face in Rudolphus' and snarling with exaggerated enunciation, "I wan**t **you to **leave**." He pronounced 'leave' with relish, giving the 'v' so much emphasis that it sounded like 'lea-vuh.'

Maia giggled again, "No really, Professor, who is he?"

"Sevvy-rus," Rudolphus drawled, "you haven't introducted your friend."

"You don't deserve to **look** at her, you confounded twit," Snape growled nastily, "It's none of your concern." He heard Maia, who was now laughing uncontrollably, and addressed her roughly, "Don't encourage him!"

"Now, Sev, as your cousin, I think it would only be polite to introduce me to that pretty girl behind you…beside you…floating over there." Rudolphus seemed completely confused.

"Yes, Sevvy-rus, do what he says," Maia grinned.

"He's bad enough when he's sober," Snape hissed, whirling on Maia and ignoring the patiently waiting man behind him, "Right now he's a full-blown drunk. The only thing to do is to tell him to go away."

"You can't do that to him. Look, he's just visiting for the holidays. You can't send him out now." She scowled, "That would be mean."

Snape took a long breath, but finally turned back to Rudolphus, "Rudolphus," he grimaced, "this is a student of mine, Maiawen Forthe. Forthe," at this he glared at her, "this is Rudolphus Prince."

Rudolphus blinked, leaning in and whispering loudly into Snape's ear, "Don't forget to tell her we're cousins."

Snape winced. Maia knew full well how much he hated it when people whispered in his ears; she hated it too. Putting on a scowling face, Snape turned back to Maia, "He's my cousin."

Maia couldn't help it. She glanced between the two, giggling, and commented, "I see the resemblance."

Snape started furiously for her, but she had already raced from the room, slamming the door behind her. He glared balefully at his cousin before realizing with a sudden nasty surprise to his nostrils that his potion was boiling over.

X...X

Cham discovered that there was one person in the world who could eat more than her. This phenomenon happened at the single, lonely table that was left over the holidays in the Great Hall that evening.

Maia had already arrived at dinner and was sitting at one end of this table when Cham arrived. Cham stuffed her plate with food, plopping down beside her friend and immediately starting on her dinner. Maia stared at her plate for a moment before stating, "Hey, Cham, those rolls look pretty good. You wouldn't mind—"

"No, Maia," Cham stated sternly, "These are **my** rolls. Don't touch."

Maia made a face, but gave up. If there was one thing that bothered Cham, it was people mooching off her plate. Maia turned back to her food, but was distracted by Cham's nice warm juicy steak.

"Cham, your steak looks better than mine."

"YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!"

"I didn't want to take it from you, Cham; I just wanted to trade—"

"NO!" Cham moved her plate several spaces down the table from Maia so that she could not reach it. She didn't move her body, still sitting next to Maia so that every time she wanted to eat something she had to get up and walk over to her plate and eat it before coming back to talk to Maia.

The scene Cham made allowed a very frustrated Snape to pinpoint Maia's location upon entry into the Great Hall. He sat on Maia's other side, moodily adding food to his own plate, which suddenly seemed to attract Maia's attention.

"Hey, professor, that looks really tasty," Maia swiped a forkful of steaming Yorkshire pudding from his plate.

"Do you mind?" Snape didn't mind letting her taste his pudding, but it bothered him that for one thing she used **his** fork, and for another: she already had a heap of pudding on her own plate!

"No," she spoke through the mouthful, "It's **very** tasty." She took another swipe, "In fact, I think I'll have some more."

He wrenched his fork from her hand, "No! Eat your own food!"

Maia sighed, "Fine." She didn't give up completely, however, considering that Snape was too busy thinking to notice that she swiped a couple of chocolates, a piece of ham, and the Maraschino cherry off his pie. It wasn't until he had gotten halfway up the slice that he noticed it was missing. He cursed, but didn't mention it, seeing that Maia was busy with other prey at the moment: Rudolphus had just joined them and was piling his plate high.

Cham stared at the man as he slowly added gravy to his mountain of potatoes and took a towering bite out of his pudding. The most surprising thing was not how much food he stuffed onto his plate, but how quickly it disappeared, and how many times he refilled it. Maia stopped picking off his plate after seconds, when he mistook her hand for a roll and almost took a bite out of her finger.

"He's dangerous," Maia muttered to Snape, "people should be warned against him."

"He's only dangerous to moochers like yourself. Stop picking off his plate and—no! You cannot have that!" Snape pried the apple from her hand and took a fair-sized bite out of it, holding it out of her reach (he didn't even notice that Rudolphus stole the apple and ate it, core and all, in one bite). "Stay out."

Maia returned to her own plate, which had cooled while she raided others' plates, "But Professor, mine's gotten cold!"

"Serves you right."

X...X

That night, Maia shivered under her blankets, angry at Cham for extinguishing the fire with an accidental spell of hers that nobody could reverse. It was now cold and dark in the dormitory, and Maia was sure she could feel the tons of ice-cold lakewater that lay above them pressing in. It wasn't a comfortable feeling.

Drawing her feet up and curling into a ball as tiny as she could make, Maia gritted her teeth together in an attempt to stop them from chattering. In the eerie silence that followed, Maia thought she heard footsteps in the hallway outside. Her eyes widened as she heard the door click softly open. The footsteps continued, coming quickly, heading straight for her bed. Maia was almost sorry that she and Cham were the only ones occupying the dormitory over the holidays.

"Forthe—" Snape's familiar voice hissed, followed shortly by himself as he pulled up the covers and slid neatly under them, besieging Maia with his regrettably icy hands and feet. "Move over."

Maia yelped, but obliged, just happy that it hadn't been anybody dangerous. Kinder than her counterpart, who usually refused to let her on his bed with him until she had warmed her feet and hands, Maia turned to face him and draped herself over him, trying to unfreeze Snape, the human icicle. Once he warmed up, she was glad he had come to see her, considering that now she had something warm to snuggle up to.

She found it curious, however, that he had come to her. Had he been cold too? This was the first time Snape was in her dormitory at night; she was sure there was something behind it.

"Yes, Forthe, there is a reason I'm here." He answered her inquiry, holding her tightly against him. She could still feel him shivering, despite the fact that he had thawed out several minutes ago.

"Why?"

"Rudolphus—" he began, cursing the 'foul being' for several moments before continuing, "—has occupied my own chambers, despite the fact that he knows I despise his presence. His stench—and his abhorrent snoring, I might add—are maddening!"

Maia smiled, feeling sorry for the professor. "Don't worry, sir; you can stay here as long as you want to."

"I will," he stated solemnly, pulling Maia even closer to him. "You're rather comfortable anyway. I think I can stand to stay."

"Good," Maia gasped, "Now please let me breathe…"

He loosened his grip, kissed her apologetically on the ear, and nodded off. He hadn't gotten any sleep in three days, and with Rudolphus at Hogwarts, he realized just how much he would need it.

X...X

Cham sulked through the hallways, aiming kicks at random suits of armour and Mrs. Norris, after the cat had discovered it was her making all the ruckus and not Peeves. Cham was bored and grumpy; it was the Christmas holidays, but Maia was with the vampire again, and Rudolphus had taken over her bed (or rather, Maia and Snape had lugged him onto it when he passed out).

Filch soon came across the culprit of all the noise, stomping around a corner and discovering Cham, but he quickly did a U-turn and walked away. Most of Hogwarts staff tended to avoid Cham and her destructive personality, particularly when she was in one of her dark moods. Only Trelawney insisted upon approaching her ever so often, insisting fervently that Cham was going to die a violent death (which wasn't so far from the truth while Snape was around).

The next person to run into Cham was Draco, who was actually looking for her. He warily fell into step beside her, his hands thrust into his pockets.

"Excited for the Christmas Feast, Cham?" He asked casually as a conversation starter.

Cham whirled around to face him, found he wasn't in that direction, and whirled again. "I don't know. When is it?" She asked suspiciously.

Draco shifted uncomfortably under her piercing, hair-covered stare. "Erm…on Christmas…I suppose…"

Cham studied him for a long, tense moment before she discerned that he was telling the truth. "Draco…"

"Y-yes?"

She heaved a great, heart-wrenching sigh, revealing all her melancholy feelings. "Draco…I'm bored."

"I'm…sorry…?" Draco apologized, not sure what he was supposed to say.

"How far away is Christmas?" Cham asked.

"A few days," Draco replied, relieved that he could answer this one.

Cham heaved another sigh, 'That's such a long time," she complained.

Draco shrugged and said, "I could give you your present now."

Cham's mood suddenly changed, "Ooh! A prezzie? You have a prezzie for me?" She jumped up and down in excitement.

"Er…yeah…it's not much, just got it from Hogsmeade the other day…" he began to fish through his pockets, very aware that blood was rushing to his pale face.

Cham watched excitedly as Draco finally pulled out a small black box and handed it to her.

Cham scrutinized the box, turning it over in her hands. "Can I eat it?" She asked finally.

"No…open it."

Cham obeyed, pulling out a gold chain with a small golden hamster-shaped charm dangling from it.

"It reminded me of you…" Draco said sheepishly.

"Can I eat it?"

Draco laughed, "No, it's a necklace. Here, I'll help you put it on." He took the necklace from her and opened the clasp. Stepping around to her back, Draco gently placed the necklace around her neck. He felt her soft black hair brushing his hands as Cham stood patiently, and suddenly Draco couldn't stand it anymore.

He grabbed Cham by the shoulders and turned her toward him. He could swear Cham's eyes widened behind her long bangs as he finally, and rather forcefully, kissed her.

It was a while before he finally released her (the portraits on the walls were gaping at them by now). Cham tilted her head as if dizzy and let out a gust of air, "Whooooo…ooooo…ooo…" She paused for a long moment, "Do you have something for me to eat now?"

Draco grinned and handed her a piece of candy from his other pocket, "Here you go."

"Yay! Thanks!" Cham stuffed the food in her mouth and smiled benevolently at Draco.

"Sure thing, Cham," Draco said, and he grabbed her hand as she started down the hall. Things were definitely looking up for the rest of the holidays…

Cham had a dreamy look on her face as she entered the dormitory (at least on the visible part of her face), and she elicited curious glances from both Maia and Snape (Rudolphus would have been curious as well, but he was still sleeping on her bed).

"What's got you so happy, Cham?" Maia asked casually, leaning back on an elbow, her shoulders resting against Snape's chest as he sat behind her.

Cham couldn't see that her bed was still occupied, so she sat down somewhere in the vicinity of Rudolphus' stomach, making him snore louder. Snape (who was angry because Rudolphus has stolen his last remaining pair of pyjamas) briefly stood, stuffed a sock in the man's mouth, and returned to his place as Cham replied to Maia's question.

"Oh, I dunno. Draco gave me a present, I guess."

"What'd he get you?"

"A piece of candy." Cham thought for a few moments before adding, "Oh yeah. He also got me a necklace thingy too. It's cool, I s'pose."

Maia grinned, "Ooh, did he put it on for you and everything?" She elbowed Snape, who had inadvertently let out a groan. If only Draco knew what he was getting into.

"Yeah…" Cham smiled, "And he sort of…he kind of…" she suddenly frowned, not knowing how to explain it. Finally, she put on a haughty expression and stated, "We had a very intemeresting filly-sockiful discussion."

There was a moment's pause before Maia burst out, "What?"

Cham grinned, "Yeah." She leaned in close as if divulging a deep dark secret, "With our mouths." Cackling happily, Cham suddenly zoomed from the room, off to brag to Crabbe and Goyle.

Maia threw her head back and laughed, "Did you hear that, Professor?"

Snape pulled a face, "How could I not?"

"Draco finally went and did it! Who would have thought he'd have the nerve?"

Snape grimaced and muttered, "I was hoping he wouldn't."

She pushed him over, "Oh hush. If he's keeping Cham busy, you should be giving him a medal."

He sighed, "I almost feel sorry for the boy."

"Well I don't," Maia huffed irritably. "They deserve each other." She stood up, grabbing her cloak from off its hook. "Now if you don't mind, I'm off to make snow professors with some friends."

Snape suddenly found himself all alone in the room with Rudolphus. He glanced at the sleeping man and muttered, "Now I see why you drink."

X...X

"Hey Cham! Your Snow-McGonagall looks a little droopy!"

"Oh hush, Maia! You're just jealous that my Snow-Flitwick is more real-like than your Snow-Hagrid," Cham retorted, pointing to the big blob of snow that could be discerned as a likeness of Hagrid when one squinted one's eyes at it.

"Well your Snow-Hagrid is just a big blob, and your Snow-Snape looks like he's been out in the sun too long!"

"That's because he's a vampire! He **has** been out in the sun too long! And anyway, **your** Snow-Snape isn't even finished yet," Cham gloated, pointing mockingly at the half-done snow professor.

"Yeah, well you need to fix Snow-Sprout before her head falls off!"

"Her head's not falling off…" Cham took a look at her plump likeness of Professor Sprout.

Maia threw a snowball at it, hitting it square in the head. "Now it is!" She shouted gleefully.

"Hey!" Cham marched over to Maia's Snow-Trelawney and kicked it in the shin, watching triumphantly as it fell over.

"Watch it!" Maia cried, shooting a spell at Cham's Snow-Binns and melting it.

"That was my best one!" Cham exclaimed in an affronted voice.

"Too bad!" Maia shapeshifted and torched three other snow professors in quick succession. She watched with particular satisfaction as Snow-Peeves suddenly evaporated into nothing but a steaming puddle. She resumed her human form, laughing at Cham's downcast face.

"Oh yeah, well watch this!" Cham walked over to Maia's half finished Snow-Snape and stabbed it with a wooden stake she had procured from her pocket. "Hahaha!" She cried triumphantly.

"Darn you, Cham!" Maia stalked across the courtyard and attacked Cham's Snow-Snape, knocking its head clean off.

"I hope this isn't an attempt to show your true feelings, Forthe," the real Snape's voice echoed drolly from behind her.

She whirled around, "Not at all, Professor. I was just—"

"Professor, professor, professor!" Cham ran into Maia, knocking her over as she breathlessly tattled, "Maia killed all my snow professors! Ground her!"

"I cannot give a student detention merely for destroying your idea of artwork, Miss Charm. If anyone should receive a detention, it should be you for making a mockery of the professors here." Snape glanced at Snow-Slughorn with distaste.

Cham quickly stated, "Maia did that one."

He cast a look at Maia, who was picking herself off the ground and brushing the snow off her cloak.

"What?" Maia asked defensively, "It's harder than it looks!"

Snape shook his head and turned to leave, beckoning discretely for Maia to follow him. Unfortunately, Cham also caught the message, and she tagged along.

"Hey, Maia! Where're we going?"

"I dunno, Cham," Maia shrugged, "Ask the driver," She indicated Snape.

"Hey, Snapey Dear! Where're we going?" Cham trotted to catch up with Snape.

He suddenly stopped and whirled around, nearly causing Cham to collide with him. "What did you call me?"

"Er…most honoured and presteegus professor?"

"That's what I thought," he growled and started walking again.

"Hey! You didn't tell me where we are going!" Cham called after him, puffing past Maia.

"I have no idea where **you** are going, Charm. Forthe and I are going somewhere without you," he stated boredly, not bothering to look at her.

"I wanna come too!" Cham whined loudly.

"No."

"I wanna come!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"_Please?_"

"No."

"Puh-lease?"

"No!"

"_PLEASE_!"

Snape threw his hands up and whirled on Cham, "Fine!" He bellowed in her face.

"YAY!" Cham screeched back, causing his ears to ring.

Maia smiled when he threw her a defeated look. She had watched the entire thing without saying a word. Snape would never have given in to her, no matter how much she begged. Oh, how she envied Cham's powers of persuasion…

…In the kitchen—the location to which Snape had been leading them—Maia cupped a mug of hot cocoa tightly in her hands, drinking it as if it was pumpkin juice despite the fact that it was scalding hot.

Snape took a sip of his (which was probably spiked with rum or something like that) and winced as he watched Maia take another swig of hers. "Why do you do that?"

"'S good this way!" She grinned, trading her empty mug with an obliging house-elf for a brand new one.

"Doesn't it burn?"

"Nope!" She took another gulp.

Cham gazed admiringly at Maia and attempted the same thing. The searing liquid scorched her tongue, causing her to spit half of it out in alarm and swallow the rest of it, which burned her oesophagus. "YEOWIE!" She cried loudly, leaping to her feet and kicking her stool backward, falling on the table with a bump. "HOTHOTHOT!"

Snape merely pulled out his wand and drawled, "Desist, Charm," setting a freezing spell on her.

Cham, now an icicle, clung to the table with her frozen fingers, unable to resist as the houselves toted her off to the hospital wing. Maia couldn't help but giggle as Snape wound an arm lazily around her waist.

"What do you find so amusing, Forthe?"

Maia made a face, imitating Cham in a high-pitched squeal, "'_Yeowie!_'" She grinned as Snape chuckled softly at her side.

X...X

"It's Christmas Eve!" Cham squealed in Maia's ear.

"Cham! Shut up!" Maia shouted, pulling a pair of fuzzy socks from her trunk and putting them on. When Cham quieted (which only took 2.33564123 more minutes), she explained in a calmer voice, "It's not Christmas Eve until the sun goes down. That's what eve means: night time."

"Oh," Cham frowned. "So that makes today…Christmas Eve Day! WHOOO!" She cried with glee and happiness, racing around the room.

Maia smiled, the excitement even getting to her. She couldn't wait until after dinner when she and Snape could spend time alone. They had both agreed (which means that Maia had told Snape what was going to happen and he grudgingly went along with it) that because Maia couldn't see her parents, Snape was going to help her feel more at home by incorporating some of her family traditions into their celebrating. These included the opening of one gift before bed on Christmas Eve. Maia explained that it helped subdue the eager anticipation for Christmas morning (although she really only suggested it because it meant more presents).

Pulling out a package from the bottom of her trunk, she grinned. Snape would definitely like his presents. Especially **this** one.

"Hey, Cham."

"What?" Cham looked up at Maia.

"Can you hide this in your pocket until after dinner?" She offered the package to Cham.

Cham glared at it, "What is it?"

"A present for Snape," Maia answered with a shrug.

"Oh, in that case—" Cham eagerly reached for the package, but Maia withheld it.

"Wait a second, Cham. You have to promise that you won't do anything to it."

"Okay," Cham's face fell a bit, but she still seemed eager to have the package.

"And that you won't lose it."

Cham's expression got sadder, but she still reached for the package.

"And," Maia added, "that you will return it to me in perfect condition exactly when I ask for it."

Cham frowned, "Well in that case you can hold onto it yourself."

Maia sighed, "Fine." She tucked it into her bookbag and turned to leave. "I'm going to visit Hagrid. You can come or you can stay."

Cham decided to tag along, hoping that Hagrid had made more of his delicious peanut brittle. The brick he had given her last year was almost gone by now, and what crumbs remained had lint all over them…

Dinner had been made into a feast that could only be rivalled by the meal that was to come the next day, and for once it was easy for Maia to eat off of her own plate (although Snape lost a few treacle tarts that suspiciously reappeared on Maia's plate). Even Rudolphus could not plough his way through the entire array of foods before him, having to stop somewhere between the honeyed ham and the bread pudding.

Snape (who had arrived late) kept edging closer to Maia, murmuring to her in low undertones exactly what he was going to do to her when they were alone. Unfortunately, Cham had extremely good hearing, and she kept bursting into fits of laughter, giggling uncontrollably when she overheard him talking about Maia's…erm…backside.

However, when Draco appeared, it was Maia's turn to laugh as the boy kept doting on Cham so much that she finally had to stuff his face with a cookie and state, "I 'preciate your help, Draco, but I am a trifle slightly busy at the moment."

"Don't you mean you are slightly busy? Or a trifle busy?" He asked.

"Of course. Now wait for me to finish my desert."

"Your _dessert_," he subtly corrected.

"Stop copying me!" Cham wailed, stuffing a creampuff onto his nose.

He smiled wearily and sighed, placing his hand on Cham's and waiting patiently.

Snape turned to Maia, "Shall we go?" He murmured.

Maia nodded, making sure she didn't forget her bookbag, which she slung over her shoulder. They wandered through the hallways, not really in a hurry for once. Snape took Maia's hand in his, their arms linked together as they meandered in relative silence compared to the bustling merriment that had accosted them in the Great Hall.

"You look pretty tonight, Forthe," Snape muttered softly, making sure nobody was around to overhear them.

Maia smiled, knowing that it was the closest thing to a compliment she could receive from Snape. She nudged him gently, replying, "You don't look too bad yourself. Maybe not as festive as you should be, but—" she raised her wand and tapped the shoulder of his robe, which suddenly sprouted a sprig of holly. "There. Perfect."

Snape grimaced, but did not protest.

"Professor," Maia suddenly stated as they began descending the stairs into the dungeons, "why are you always so grumpy?"

He cast her an offended look, "I am not grumpy."

"Oh. That must be why you're frowning."

"I'm **thinking**."

Maia nodded in understanding, "Right. I see. Thinking hurts, so it makes you grumpy."

"Oh, do shut up," he replied testily.

She smiled, "You know I'm only teasing you."

He made a face and pushed her into the wall where she almost knocked over a suit of armour.

"Hey!"

"You know I'm only teasing you," he replied with a slight smile.

Maia laughed, "Sometimes you're a worse friend than Cham."

Snape suddenly seemed to brighten up at the word 'friend.' It obviously helped his mood as he let Maia into his private chambers, where they sat down on the edge of the bed, their hands still linked between them.

"Alright," Maia began with a straightforward tone, "Presents or snogging first?" She grinned as she said the latter, seeing Snape's face change indignantly.

"**Students** snog, Forthe."

"Oh? And what is it called when **we** kiss? Tonsil hockey?"

He grimaced, "No." Pondering the subject, he seemed to come up with a satisfactory answer, sharing it with Maia. "I prefer to think of it as the preliminary to deep philosophical discussions."

Maia grinned, "Right. What first?"

Snape immediately answered, "Gifts."

"Alright then," she reached into her bookbag and placed her package in his lap. "You first."

He cautiously began to remove the wrapping on the present, obviously not sure what the squishy parcel could contain. A sudden smile lit up his face as he pulled the last of the paper away, revealing a completely new set of green silk pyjamas, never been worn before and utterly devoid of Rudolphus' smell.

"Well now, I believe I'll have to use these tonight, won't I?"

Maia snorted softly and replied with a kiss on his cheek, "Not yet."

"Hold on, Forthe." He pushed her away gently, "Save the discussing until after you've opened **your** present."

She grinned, "Is it jewellery? Are you going to help me put it on like Draco helped Cham?"

Snape placed a medium-sized box in her hands, watching interestedly as she removed the lid. Maia laughed and pulled out a light, thin nightgown that looked like it would reveal more than it hid. Looking at Snape in the soft, dim light, she thought she could detect a suggestive grin on his face.

She felt his breath on her neck as he leaned closer and murmured evocatively, "**You** can put it on yourself. I want to help you take it **off**."

X...X

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!"

Maia rolled over with a groan, burying her face in the crook of Snape's neck. "Is Cham's voice loud enough to penetrate the walls of this dungeon, or is she really in here?" She asked froggily.

Snape grunted bad-temperedly, sitting up to find out. He was suddenly jolted backward by a large bump that occurred only because something heavy had just leapt onto the bed. "She's **here**," he stated, rolling over and shoving a pillow over his head, "Take care of her please."

Maia sat up, rubbing her eyes tiredly and looking at the culprit. Cham was at the door, admitting Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle, who were all staggering under armfuls of presents they had received last night. "Er, Professor, Cham's here, but I don't think she was the one who jumped on the bed—"

"I know—" Snape groaned hoarsely, having realized that when Rudolphus decided to sit on his chest.

Pulling on the nearest article of clothing she could get—which just happened to be Snape's cloak—Maia stalked across the room, told Cham to shut the door and stop shouting, and stalked back to the bed, hurriedly occupying her place again before somebody else could snag it. She noticed with happiness that either the houselves had known where to put her presents, or Cham had brought them with her, because there was a modest pile next to her side of the bed.

Maia elbowed Snape, who grudgingly got up, tiredly glaring at every single person who dared invade his private chambers while he was sleeping (he glared mostly at Rudolphus, who had awakened him, and Cham, who had let everybody in). He didn't glare at Maia, however, because she planted a kiss on his mouth and murmured, "Well, it's not as quiet as I hoped it would be, but merry Christmas anyway."

Snape merely grunted, although he did seem happier when Maia took his hand and laced her fingers through his.

"Okay, peoples," Cham stated imperiously, "we are going to do this the right way. We have to open presents one at a time, so everybody can see what everybody else got—" That was as far as she got before she had been covered in a mound of wrapping paper as Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle all tore into their presents. Cham shrugged and did the same.

"Wow! Cool! Hey Maia, what's this?" Cham held up a small white tube that had a bunch of tiny buttons on it.

"That, Cham, is an iWand. Here, give me your wand," Maia took Cham's wand and slid the little white thing over the wand, clicking it into place on the handle. "There. It'll play your favourite songs whenever you want it to. Just hold your wand and start thinking about it."

Cham frowned for a moment as Maia handed her the wand. "Okay…" She squinted her eyes tightly, making a face. The wand suddenly burst into a loud rendition of _"It's a Small World._"

Snape didn't speak, merely casting Maia an _I'm-really-going-to-get-you-for-this_ look. Maia grinned and turned back to Cham, watching as the girl opened the rest of her presents (which mostly consisted of candy).

Attending to her pile, Maia decided to take a crack at her presents, starting with an interesting-shaped package on the top. The card said it was from Hagrid, and opening it, Maia grinned when she saw a jar of dragon-scale polish. Snape looked over her shoulder and shook his head, "Just what you need. Something to make you vainer than you already are."

Maia shoved a pillow in his grumpy face. Reaching down into the pile, she drew out what looked like Snape's present for her. Immediately interested, she opened it to see a dictionary sized black wooden box. She tried to open it, but didn't succeed until Snape showed her how to with his wand.

"You probably don't want other people getting into this," he explained. "I know **I** don't."

She laughed and lifted the lid. Inside she saw what looked like a whole lot of shiny yellow sand in which numerous vials were embedded. Rifling through it, she pulled out a round vial filled with a familiar red potion. "A love potion?" she asked, grinning at Snape.

He shrugged, "There are other more sinister things in there. I thought I should give you a well-rounded stock."

Maia searched through the assortment of bottles and vials, some of them potions she recognized—such as the painkilling potion, the allergy-stopping potion and, she noted with a wry grin, the alchemist's potion that could turn any metal into gold. However, she had to ask Snape to point out some of the stranger elixirs, which included a vial of Veritaserum, a small bottle of something he called the Draught of the Living Dead, a sample of a Polyjuice potion, and a tiny tube filled with a mild poison that could make a person sick for a week.

"Of course," Snape stated as he pointed these out, "I don't expect you to be using any of these on anybody…besides Charm, that is."

"This should be fun." Maia looked at her small arsenal of potions with a grin on her face. "I feel like a nerd with a chemistry set."

"Only dangerous," Snape added.

"That's what makes it such a cool present," Maia asserted happily. She took a pinch of the shiny sand and asked, "What is this stuff, anyway?"

Snape replied, "Gold dust. It helps preserve the potions."

"Cool!" Cham, who had overheard the part including 'gold,' jumped onto the bed and started poking Maia's box.

Snape kicked her (literally) off the bed, "Get away, Charm."

"But it's so shiny!" If anyone could have seen Cham's eyes, they would have noticed a beady, hamster-like glint in them.

Maia laughed and turned to Snape, "Alright, Professor. It's your turn."

"Oh no."

Maia ignored his sarcastic remark and stated, "You remember how Cham melted your gold cauldron, right? You know, when she tried to make Macaroni and Cheese in it?"

Snape growled darkly, obviously still remembering rather well. "So?"

Maia stood up, holding out a hand, "Well, why don't you come over here?"

She led him to the other side of the room toward a pile of cauldrons. Behind the said pile, Maia proudly presented a brand new, shiny gold cauldron. She snickered and added, "It's probably a good thing I hid it over here; if Cham went so crazy about the gold dust, I'm sure she'd have to be sent to the hospital wing if she saw this."

"Forthe…" Snape started, approaching the cauldron with the look a five-year-old gives a heaping pile of sugar. "How did you even afford this?" He touched the rim with long fingers, closing his eyes and sighing.

"Why don't you reach in and find out?" Maia asked with a sly grin.

He did so, his fingers closing around a heavy bag at the bottom. Shooting Maia a curious look, he opened it and pulled out a handful of what looked like the inside of a clam shell. "Opaleye scales?"

"Yeah. I didn't know they were so valuable. I'd just been throwing them away when they fell off. I saw some in Hogsmeade last time I went and it gave me an idea. Some of those bigger scales had numbers on their price tags that had more zeros than Dumbledore does in his age!" Maia shrugged, "I'm just sad that those scales were probably mine that somebody found in the forest."

Snape smiled and put the bag down, "Forthe."

"Yes Professor?"

"Come here."

Maia came toward him. She stayed at his side for a very long time, at least until Cham wondered where they had disappeared to and found them behind the cauldrons.

"Eew!" She cried in a high squeal, "Maia and Snape are **snogging**!"

Of course, then everybody else had to come see what she meant. Both Maia and Snape decided that it was time to end their much publicized interactions with each other for the moment and find something else to do.


	32. Cham's Christmas Part II

_Alright, after long hours of waiting and writing and thinking and eating...and sleeping...well, anyway, here's the second part of Christmas. Finally. Enjoy. I guess._

Maia noticed Snape's lack of focus and increased touchiness late Christmas night, but she figured that it was probably due to an annoying student. She realized, however, the important role she would play in changing his mood for the better, so she dragged him weakly protesting into the back room where she sat him on the couch, snuggling next to him. Usually a few minutes by her side would thaw him out, but even with his arms wrapped around her, there still remained a distant note in his black-eyed gaze. Something was really troubling him.

Maia decided that he needed something more potent, so she turned his face toward hers and kissed him.

He resisted. "Not now, Forthe. I'm thinking. This is important."

"Professor," Maia began sternly, "if you don't want to kiss me that's fine, but please try to think of something worthwhile to do besides sitting here and moping. Don't spoil the Christmas holidays for one of your dumb problems."

He gave her an offended look, "Forthe, for your information, I like to keep my mind active. It is the only restitution I receive for a mind-numbing job like this one."

"Take a break," Maia insisted, holding Snape down when he tried to stand, "or at least try something more entertaining. I hate watching you pout."

"I don't pout," he grumbled huffily.

Maia raised an eyebrow, "I see. Then what are you doing now?"

"I told you," he growled bad temperedly, "I am thinking!"

Huffing, Maia realized that she couldn't get through to him—not when he was in a mood like this. She gave him one last warning glare before standing up, "I'm going elsewhere. You had better be done 'thinking' by the time I get back…or at least in a better mood."

Snape didn't bother with a retort, merely watching her leave with a jaundiced expression.

X...X

The weather outside was cold. Freezing cold. Anybody in their right mind would have stayed inside. It wasn't snowing, but snow clung doggedly to the frosty black and silver trees. The night air was surprisingly frigid, and the moon hung like a bright shimmering plate in the clear sky.

Maia, however, was not just anybody. She liked the cold; it ensured that nobody else would intrude on her space. Not even Cham.

She trudged out toward the forest with nothing but her jeans, a t-shirt, and her cloak on. Her feet were bare, but that didn't bother her because every time she stepped into a fresh patch of snow, it melted on contact with her soles. Being half-dragon had its benefits. The rest of her was rather warm as well, considering that she was carrying two thick, draping black sheets and a particularly squishy pillow, compliments of Snape's room. She only hoped that he wouldn't notice they were gone until she was well out of reach.

Coming to a stop somewhere in a small copse of trees, Maia decided that this was as good a place as any to camp out. She found two relatively similar pines and started to tie one sheet to both trees. After she finished that, she stood back and admired her handiwork. A hammock. Slowly sliding into it, she smiled. It worked.

Maia pulled the other sheet over herself and propped her head up on the pillow, staring at the dark, velvety night sky. A slow, icy breeze gently stirred her sheet-hammock, rocking her back and forth. It was the kind of wind students called a "lazy breeze." It didn't bother blowing around people, choosing to go straight through them instead. Winds like that chilled non-dragon people to their non-dragon bones. But Maia didn't mind. It felt good to be surrounded by warm sheets. They smelled nice too. Kind of like potions...and old metal cauldrons...and dust. But best of all, they smelled like Snape. (Don't ask us how he smells. We aren't brave enough to sniff him).

She had closed her eyes, and was in that dreamlike state of half asleep, half not, when she heard footsteps. They were very far off, but the sound carried on the chill night air. Was it just her, or did they seem to be getting closer? The sound **was** getting louder. As the crunching sound approached, Maia suddenly became very still (except for the breeze that continued to swing her hammock). She could detect just the slightest familiarity in the gait, a lingering on each step that gave the movement a purposeful intent.

_--Crap--_Maia thought. She knew what was coming next.

Indeed, just a few minutes later, an exceedingly recognizable voice prodded her from her sleepy stupor.

"Forthe." A dark shadow fell over Maia and her hammock.

"Hello, Professor," she replied in a small voice from underneath the sheet.

Snape continued to scowl at Maia as she opened her eyes to face him. "You know," he began in an annoyed tone, "you have your own sheets."

"But yours are warmer," Maia stated matter-of-factly. "And besides, I didn't think you'd be needing them anytime soon. After all, you were so busy helping Draco resolve all of **his** problems."

Snape just stared at Maia for a few moments. Finally, he stepped forward and, to Maia's surprise and chagrin, threw a leg over the sheet. "Scoot over," he drawled, sliding into the hammock alongside Maia and invading her warmth with his pervasive chilliness. How was it that Snape could always drag that iciness with him? Maia bet that it was due to the fact that he was always stalking the hallways and absorbing the cold air around him. He was good at things like that.

Maia also noticed that the hammock was sagging...a lot.

"Y-you're f-freez-zing," Maia complained loudly in his ear as he curled around her.

"I'm sensing quite a bit of chilliness from you too, Forthe." He hugged her tighter to him. She was like a fire out in the middle of this miserably freezing plot of land...except she didn't burn him when he touched her (sometimes). She only glared threateningly at him. "Is something wrong?" He asked.

"Now that you mention it, yes." Maia retorted, "Why are you suddenly so anxious to come find me? You had all day to spend with me, and now I want to be alone."

"Then you shouldn't have taken my sheets." He paused, fingering the silky black material, "Of course, if you want, I could just take my things and leave."

"No," Maia quickly amended, "I'm not that angry at you."

A small smile crept over his lips, which were starting to turn a pale shade of blue. Maia noticed that under the heavy robe and cloak, Snape was trembling slightly.

"Are you shivering, Professor?" Maia asked with a hint of a smile.

"No," he replied in a clear tone. Maia had to give him points for hiding it well. She wouldn't have been able to tell if she wasn't squashed up against him.

"Are you sure you don't want me to warm you up?" She asked, touching his chin with her fingers.

He stared at her for a moment, "Actually…I think I'd like that."

"Okay," Maia whispered as she kissed him, scooting closer.

The wind breezed swiftly through the hammock at that moment, causing it to tip dangerously. Maia had chosen a bad moment to move. There was a moment of panic followed by a muffled thud and then their world was suddenly white as they were both dumped from the hammock. Maia, having landed on Snape, sat up, straddling his knees.

"Forthe! Get off," he managed to articulate through a mouthful of snow and dirt.

Maia slid off of him, the snow around her sizzling and melting into a slushy puddle. She stood up and offered the professor a hand. He took it, but as he was getting up he lost traction and slipped, pulling Maia back down on top of him.

Staring at each other, they spontaneously broke into laughter, and although Snape wasn't really laughing (it was more like a smile with a little bit of some strange sound coming from deep in his throat), Maia still felt elated that he had found it funny.

"Hey," another voice entered the conversation, and Maia looked up with chagrin to see Cham standing above them. "I didn't get the joke."

Snape sat up, glowering again. "You aren't supposed to. It wasn't funny," he added, casting Maia a peeved look. As he stood, he drew his wand and flicked it at both sheets and the pillow, gathering them up and tucking them under his arm. "That's enough of this childishness. Forthe, follow me." He made sure Maia was trailing behind him as he continued back toward the castle, trying to ignore Cham as she asked:

"What am I supposed to do, Professor?"

"Stay put," he replied, secretly hoping she would actually obey for once. She didn't.

"That's a dumb idea. I'm going back inside." Cham zoomed past, her teeth chattering loudly as she ran.

"For once Charm is the one doing the smart thing," Snape observed as the now tiny figure of Cham disappeared within the castle doors.

"I see your attitude hasn't improved," Maia growled darkly.

"No, trudging around in frigid weather doesn't usually improve my mood."

"Then you shouldn't have followed me."

"I followed you because I wanted to go to sleep and I couldn't find _my_ things," he retorted.

"Well you could have waited and I would have brought them back."

"I didn't want to wait!"

"You have them now, so stop complaining!"

"I am not complaining!" Snape hissed as they entered the castle once more. It was very draughty in the magnificent stone corridors, but it seemed like a tropical paradise compared to the icy atmosphere outside.

Quarrelling all the way down to the dungeons, they only stopped when they reached the door to Snape's chambers. He paused in the doorway, turning to face Maia. "Are you staying tonight?" He asked without a trace of his previous malice.

Maia considered it for a moment before nodding, "Okay." She smiled at him and wrapped her arm through his as they entered. Snape sat down on the corner of his bed, removing his shoes and leaning back with a groan.

"Can I use the bathtub?" Maia asked, thinking that a hot bath would cure everything.

"Go ahead," Snape replied without getting up.

"Yay!" Maia leapt into the bathroom, removing her somewhat damp clothing and jumping into the tub, filling it up to the brim with steaming water. By the time everything had fogged up, Maia was feeling not only relaxed but a little too hot, so she clambered out and wrapped herself up in a towel, briefly combing through her long blue hair. She noticed as she looked in the mirror that her hair had still not lost its glow and she wondered if it would remain neon blue forever. It had become normal to see blue whenever she looked in the mirror, but she missed her red hair every now and again.

Emerging from the bathroom, she met Snape's glance, noticing that he had moved and was now sitting in his place on the bed, cradling a book on his knees and flipping boredly through it. Maia realized that she had never really seen him actually reading a book in depth, although she knew he had read quite a few and could recite several for memory.

He looked her over with an appraising eye before closing the book and stating in a matter-of-fact tone, "You do realize that you left a spare pair of pyjamas here. You could have dressed."

Maia shrugged. She had forgotten that, but it wasn't a big deal. "Whatever." It didn't matter anyway, because as soon as she had shed the towel, she wrapped a sheet around herself and crawled onto what had become her side of the bed. "There. I'm decent now."

Snape raised the corners of his mouth a little bit as if they were drawn by strings. It was a forced smile if Maia had ever seen one. She wondered if his mood really was that bad, but he unbent enough to lean toward her and briefly kiss her before he returned to his book.

Realizing that he wasn't going to acknowledge her anymore, Maia turned over and pulled Snape's heavy winter blanket over her shoulders, closing her eyes. Snape had stolen the fluffy pillow and she was left with the flat one. Technically there were three pillows, and usually the person who didn't have the fluffy pillow got the other two as a rule, but Snape had the third pillow tucked between his ankles. Under any other circumstances, Maia would have complained, but she was tired, and being kicked out of the room was not on her to-do list.

Instead she just curled up and tried her best to go to sleep. She was too far gone to notice when Snape finally put his book up and decided that he had exacted his revenge on her. He gently restored the third pillow to its place under Maia's head before turning on his side and curling around her.

"Goodnight, Forthe," He murmured.

"Mfgur…" Maia moaned in response.

A small smile crept across his lips. Snape wondered how long it would take him to draw himself away from her in the morning. She was so warm—he might just wait for her to wake up. He had forgotten until that morning how much he enjoyed lying next to her and watching her as she woke. She appeared so much more vulnerable then, so calm and peaceful. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt that way. Even now, he still worried. How would he bring himself to do what he had to do? There was no way he could count on Draco to finish the job, and Dumbledore had specifically asked _him_ to take care of it. Shuddering at the thought, Snape pushed those doubts out of his mind and focused on the warm feeling he felt lying next to Maia. He wouldn't let anything ruin that.

_Well, that's it...for now. Hahaha, but more will come soon, so beware!_


	33. Murder

_Ah, our lovely next update. Sorry to keep you all waiting! And sorry for the big jump in time; we just couldn't wait to write this part. Lol. Anyway, here you go._

The rest of the school year seemed to rush by with intense speed after the winter holidays, especially after Rudolphus left, which—Maia noticed—seemed to make Snape feel temporarily better. However, his mood only continued to darken, and it was only a few months before things came to a head. Unfortunately, this happened right before exams, when everybody's tensions were running high. Maia, wandering the halls as she usually did while she waited until she could sneak into the kitchens for her midnight snack, was suddenly stopped by Snape, who had an urgent sort of tone in his voice.

"Forthe, the Dark Lord has requested your presence. You have to leave now," Snape pressed something wrapped in cloth into her hands, "Here is the portkey. Find Charm and go. You will not return here, is that clear?" He sounded anxious, almost worried.

Maia gave him a questioning look, "But why—"

"Just do it, Forthe."

"Alright," she replied, turning to find Cham.

He stopped her briefly with a hand on her shoulder. Gripping her arm firmly in a hand, he kissed her, staring sadly at her fleetingly before he let her go.

Bursting into the dormitory, Maia woke Cham, who had fallen asleep on her Transfiguration homework. "Cham, get up! We have to go."

Cham sat up tiredly, rubbing her eyes, "Why?"

"I dunno. Just pack your stuff." Maia started stuffing her own belongings into her trunk.

They were ready within half an hour, and Maia unwrapped the portkey, which was a box of Cheez-its. Apparently, Snape had a sense of humour, a twisted sense of humour. Maia glowered at Cham, who immediately curbed her Cheez-it induced laughter as they disappeared. Upon arrival, Maia glanced swiftly around, quickly realizing where they were. The voice she heard next did not come as a surprise. They were in the Malfoy manor.

"Ah, Maiawen, I was told you would arrive soon," Voldemort stood. He had previously been sitting on a couch, boredly flicking his wand around.

Maia smiled—it was more of a grimace—as he took her hand in welcome.

Cham stared, "Maia!" She glared at Voldemort, "One vampire friend is enough!"

Voldemort merely glanced at her with a raised eyebrow, leaving Maia's side as he inclined his head at Cham, "How…charming."

"It isn't 'Charming,' it's Charm. Cham Charm."

He made a slight face, staring calculatingly at Cham and probably wondering why she was a Death Eater.

It wasn't too long before other Death Eaters began to appear, saving Cham from a lot of awkward questions. A large, hairy man approached, "It is done, master." He looked up at Voldemort's approving face and then at Maia's not so pleased one. He smiled, suddenly coming closer, "Well I must say it is a pleasure…" He leaned in so closely that Maia could smell the blood on his breath, see it on his chin. "Do tell me: what does dragon blood taste like?"

"Fenrir…" One of the other Death Eaters whispered loudly to him in warning.

He ignored it.

Maia felt his breath on her throat and she drew back, her wand up and pointed right between his eyes. "Don't," she stated firmly.

He watched her warily, "Another time, then."

Voldemort, instead of being angry, chuckled—or rather—hissed. "Watch yourself, Fenrir."

Three figures suddenly materialized, staggering exhaustedly. They had been running. Maia did not recognize the big, broad-shouldered man, but the other two were none other than Malfoy and Snape.

Voldemort showed a small sign of anxiety, stepping forward, "Is the deed done?"

Snape shook himself off, looking a little worse for the wear. He seemed tired, and sported several cuts on his face and hands. "Yes, my lord. He is dead."

"Well done."

"Who's dead?" Maia asked worriedly. She was ignored.

"Did the boy do it?" Voldemort indicated Draco, who was shivering although it was not cold.

"No."

"You did it."

"Yes."

Voldemort seemed to ponder this for a moment before admitting, "I did not believe the boy could do it," he gazed steadily at Draco.

Cham intervened, stepping in between them. "Don't insult him! He be smart!"

"Lucius, take them where they belong. Somewhere else."

Draco's father, who had recently been freed from Azkaban, nodded once, doing as he was told. They left. Maia was glad Voldemort hadn't made her go. She wanted to hear what had happened.

"Who **died**?" Maia asked, louder this time. Once more she was ignored.

"You're quite sure he's dead?"

"Yes."

"You are certain?"

"Yes. **My** killing curses do not fail, my lord." It was impossible to tell whether Snape actually meant the insult or if he was just assuring the dark lord.

Voldemort asked one last time, "He is dead?"

"Albus Dumbledore," began Snape in a snide voice, "will never set foot again on this earth."

The dark lord inclined his head, "Very good."

Several moments later, long enough for Maia to process what she had heard, a loud shriek penetrated to the very souls of those who listened, "WHAT?" She swiftly approached Snape. "Tell me I did not hear you correctly."

"You heard me. Dumbledore is dead. I personally made sure of that."

"But, you wouldn't—" Looking up at him, she clearly read the lines on his face. "You…" Maia tried to voice her emotions, but she could not think of a word strong enough. Finally, after a long internal struggle, she glanced back up at Snape, "Professor," she pleaded, silently begging him to tell her it was all just a joke.

He stared back at her with cold black eyes, his face set in a stern, unyielding mask.

Voldemort seemed amused by Maia. "It seems we have a dissention."

She glared at him too, about to say something very rude. Snape flicked his wand at her, and she fell silent, unable to speak. Whirling, she eyed him with menacing meaning in her expression.

Snape didn't attempt to appease her. He merely left.

After a few moments, Voldemort ordered, "I would like a word with Maiawen. Alone." He waited until everybody was gone before he murmured, "You are truly angry with him, aren't you?"

Maia found that she could speak again, but she didn't trust herself to do so. She nodded. "I hate him," she whispered.

After a few moments' silence, Voldemort touched her cheek, muttering, "I once received advice from an old man who thought he had wisdom. He said that 'to hate, one must first love.' I have never known this to be true, but perhaps you might put it to trial for me. You have loved. Now prove to me you can hate."

Maia stared down pensively.

"Go on, follow him," he urged her to leave the same way Snape had. "There is an inn in that muggle town. You'll find him there."

Maia glowered and set her jaw, "Right."

The inn in question was definitely not as upkept as the Three Broomsticks, but it sufficed for two angry people. Among the hazy smoke from cigarettes and the low clamour of men, Maia caught sight of Snape, sitting alone, already with several empty glasses in front of him.

Making her way toward him, she slapped away a man's wandering hand, glancing at Snape when the muggle man and his companions made several brazen comments about her. He didn't look back at her, but she saw him wince slightly as he listened to what the men said. At least he wasn't too far gone to be completely oblivious. Pushing one drunkard over in her angry attempt to reach Snape, she stalked to the counter and glared at the professor.

She sat down beside him.

"The dark lord sent you." He did not bother looking at her.

"Yes, he did," she replied acidly.

"Well?" He asked impatiently, staring contemplatively at his half-empty glass.

"Why did you do it?"

"I had to."

"You aren't **like** them!" Maia protested, hoping that he would agree.

He glanced at her with a jaundiced expression, "I'm glad at least one of us believes that."

"I **know** it!" Maia asserted aggressively, "You can't possibly…You aren't Bellatrix…"

"Thank Merlin I'm not," he responded.

"You aren't like her at all! **She's** the one who kills people, not you. She…she's evil!" Maia finished, half sobbing.

"And what, may I ask, gave you the impression that I am not?"

Maia stared at him for a few moments in complete and utter disbelief. She slowly stood up and backed away, shaking her head. "You…" the seriousness of her performance was broken when she tripped over a loose board, landing painfully on her backside.

_Now, to understand what happened next, one would have to have experienced extreme drunkenness (which we hope none of you ever have, or will do: kids, don't try this at home)._

Snape burst out laughing, and the other half of Hell froze over. Maia picked herself up, refusing the help offered by several of the inn's patrons. Her eyes glowed iridescent as she stumbled from the inn, her pride wounded almost as much as her heart. Snape looked after her and sighed, making the first wise judgement he had that night and following her. "Forthe!" He called after her as she ran down the greenish hillside and toward the river.

She didn't respond, nor did she stop.

"Forthe!" He called again.

She whirled around, her wand held firmly in her outstretched hand, "Don't come **any** closer! I'll **kill** you—I **swear** I will!"

He stopped, his wand out as well.

_Three old guys watched from the dim pub's single crusted window._

"_They musht be drunk…fightin' withose puny shticksh…" One of the men stated in an all-knowing voice._

"_I dunno, Chauncy; she looksh angry enough…"_

"_Hey…we're out of beer…" the third man mourned._

Meanwhile, outside, Snape just scoffed at Maia, "You wouldn't."

"I'll do it," she affirmed feverishly, her knuckles white as she clenched the wand with a sweaty palm.

He smirked, lowering his wand and circling her confidently. "You've never killed before, have you, Forthe." It was not a question. "Oh, yes," he continued, "it's tempting, but are you strong enough to do it?" He paused, waiting for her to respond. "I thought not. Lesson one, Forthe: if you're going to kill, do it first, because if you hesitate for even a moment it'll be too late."

"No!" She jabbed her wand in his direction as if it were a sword and he was her opponent. "Stay back!"

He ignored her, coming closer, "Yes, Forthe, if you were going to kill me, you would have already done so. You and Malfoy are so alike. The both of you—" he scoffed "—too **kind** to kill." He spat out the word like a curse.

Maia's hand shook, her grasp weakening a little, "No!" She suddenly shrieked, backing up a few paces, putting that extra space between them, "That's not true!" Her voice trembled almost as much as her knees, reaching an octave higher than her normal tone.

"Oh really? Then by all means—do it." He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, his fingers lingering over every clasp as he opened a space down to his stomach, offering his life to her. "Go ahead. Kill me."

She gritted her teeth, set her jaw forward and approached, placing her wand directly in the centre of his chest. Closing her eyes tightly, she tried not to think about how much she cared for this man. –_I have to mean it—_ She thought firmly. ­–_He deserves to die—_ Maia could clearly hear Snape chuckling softly at her foolishness.

_It'sh too dull, you shoopid girl!" The first old man shouted from behind the window. His friends agreed, all three of them crowded by the other occupants, who had decided to have a look._

She gritted her teeth so hard together that it was amazing they didn't shatter. She mouthed the incantation silently, but she was no good at silent spells—and she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. The most she could have done to him in this condition would have been to give him a bloody nose. Her hand fell to her side and she sobbed, "I can't…"

Snape smiled down triumphantly at her, taking her wand in his free hand. "You **wouldn't** do it; you **couldn't **finish it, could you? Of course," He added scornfully, "You never could finish **any**thing."

Maia gazed up at him, her eyes burning with unspoken fury. It caused even Snape to step back slightly, his expression unsure. He had forgotten how deadly Maia could be. She drew back her hand, balling it into a fist and hitting him as hard as she could, feeling with satisfaction the way his nose yielded to her knuckles with a crack.

He reeled backward, and stumbled to the ground—being already quite drunk.

_The old man called, "Well, that worksh better than the shtick!"_

_His friends agreed—at least, they would have if they hadn't already passed out._

Blinking, it took Snape a moment to reacquaint himself with his surroundings, and by that time, Maia was already several feet away and quickly disappearing. He raised his wand—or was it hers? It didn't matter because the spell took the desired effect, causing Maia dropped to the ground, completely still.

Snape approached warily, wiping the blood from his nose and rolling Maia onto her back with a foot. She stared up at him, paralyzed, but still livid with fury. He didn't need to use Legillimency to hear what she was thinking about him. He knelt beside her, touching her face briefly before disapparating them both back to Malfoy manor, breaking the curse on her as soon as they arrived.

Snape handed her the wand, with a grimace. "Here. You can't do any harm with it anyway," he stated snidely.

Instantly shapeshifting, she shoved her snout in his face, snorted angrily, and stalked off. Her tail lashed furiously, tipping over an expensive vase as she made her way to her usual room. Forgetting she was a dragon, Maia found a comfortable looking chair and sat. The chair, needless to say, became rather flat just then.

X…X

Only a few days later, Snape felt safe (and lonely) enough to attempt to apologize to Maia. As soon as he entered the room, though, he wished he hadn't. Maia was having a bad day; that much was easily discernable from her disgruntled expression and solemn appearance. She looked utterly miserable, her blue hair pulled back from her face in a loose ponytail.

Hesitating, he decided not to speak—that wouldn't be the best way to begin. Instead, he came closer, kneeling beside her chair (which she had fixed and was still sitting in) and placing his hand on hers. She didn't look at him, merely taking one of his fingers and flicking his hand away with disgust.

"Forthe," he pleaded, placing his hand once again on hers.

This time she acknowledged him with a woeful side glance, her eye flickering blue in recognition before returning to its usual gold state. She stared forward once more.

"Professor," her lips barely moved, and her voice was nearly inaudible, cracking on the last syllable.

He brushed her cheek with a hand, "Forthe," he began again, hoping she'd return his gaze.

She didn't respond.

"Forthe, you can't stay like this forever."

"Yes I can," she croaked.

"I won't let you. You are going to have to come out sometime."

"You have no power over me."

"Oh, I think I do," Snape retorted softly, his eyes glinting angrily.

"Get out," Maia turned to him, glaring through him with piercing gold eyes.

"Do not tell me what to do, Forthe," Snape warned.

"Get out," Maia repeated, reaching for her wand.

Snape stood up, towering menacingly over her, "You have no right to talk to me like that, Miss Forthe."

"I told you to GET OUT!" Maia roared, flashing her wand at him. An explosive white light shot from the end of her wand, hitting Snape square in the chest and sending him through the door and into the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. He slumped to the floor, immediately assisted by Lucius and another Death Eater who had happened to be standing nearby. Blood spattered his shirt and robes as they helped him up, the red fluid spilling from a deep gash that ran from his right shoulder across his chest and into his left hip.

He glared up at Maia from behind a dark curtain of hair. She was smiling back at him, a dark smile that sent an involuntary shiver down his spine. –_You only __**thought**__ I couldn't hurt you—_ Her voice echoed in his head as he slowly sunk into the blackness surrounding him.

X…X

Voldemort had had enough. The bickering between Snape and Maia had gone too far, considering that sooner or later it would end in the death of one or two of his most important pawns. He knew he had to punish Maia after seeing the wound she had inflicted on Snape, and he strode with businesslike authority to her room.

"I thought I told you to—" Maia looked up and cut herself off, "Oh, it's you."

Voldemort didn't waste time with pleasantries. He bound her with thick cords from his wand, flicking it again to levitate her and guide her through the door and into the large entryway. He dropped her on the ground and ordered the Death Eaters at the front doors to take her outside and tie her to one of the stone pillars in the garden.

While they did that, he called the rest of the Death Eaters to him, explaining as he led them outside, "We will be practising our curses today. You must all be prepared for the war that is soon to come. Severus," the Dark Lord glanced back at Snape, who was painfully following near the rear. "You do not need to join us this time. Finish your healing."

"My lord," Snape inclined his head respectfully, "it is nothing. I wish to learn as well."

Voldemort paused thoughtfully, smiling slightly, "Very well. Perhaps you should come. You may learn something from this."

Upon exiting the manor, the Death Eaters glanced around in confusion. One of the men voiced his concern, "Where are the targets?"

Voldemort's mouth curled upward, "There will only be one target today, McNair."

He pointed to a nearby pillar where the two Death Eaters had just barely finished tying Maia. She struggled vainly, her blue hair falling in front of her gold eyes, which immediately found their subject in the large crowd, glaring accusingly at him. Snape inhaled sharply, not daring to speak for fear that Voldemort might do something worse.

"I think the Cruciatus curse will do fine for a start, don't you agree, Severus?" Voldemort's red eyes pierced him, threatening to break through to his mind.

Snape pushed away his emotions, concentrating only on his thoughts, "As you wish, my lord."

Maia let out a shriek of fury, renewing her efforts to escape. Voldemort suddenly had an epiphany, realizing that if Maia shapeshifted she could get away. He summoned what looked like a heavy iron band and approached the angry girl. Forcing her to be still, he slid the ring around her throat, clasping it shut. They both knew that it would choke her if she tried to shapeshift.

"I'll have no more antics from you, my dear Maiawen," he chuckled.

Turning to the Death Eaters, he ordered, "Get into line, you miserable lot. You will take turns. Aim for the girl and make sure you do a good job of it. I want her to feel the effects of this lesson for at least a week. Right, Yaxely. You're up."

Snape winced as the green curse hit Maia, causing her to emit a piercing cry of pain. He watched helplessly as she writhed in agony, a dull red pigment bleeding into her golden irises. Voldemort finally raised his hand, "That's enough, Yaxely. Crabbe, you're next."

As Yaxely shuffled to the back of the line, Maia fell limply into her bonds for a short moment, her chest heaving, tears falling from her face at the brief respite. Another curse hit her, and another spasm of pain wracked her form. Snape turned away, unable to watch any more.

Staring at the ground and breathing harshly as he listened to Maia's cries, he suddenly looked up when he saw Voldemort's dark robe appear before him. "My lord."

"You don't seem to be enjoying this lesson, Severus. Perhaps you should teach the other Death Eaters how to do it. You were always quite good at this curse."

Snape recoiled at the thought, but he knew he had to follow orders. "Yes, my lord."

"Good." Voldemort pointed him to the front, shoving a young Death Eater out of the way.

Snape drew his wand, his hand trembling as he stared at Maia. She was deathly pale now, her face ashen and smeared with blood. It trickled from her mouth, her nose, and a cut on her forehead, her golden eyes now completely red. Raising her head, she stared straight through Snape, smiling weakly, "End it." She still trusted him to stop it.

Snape could feel Voldemort's eyes on the back of his neck as he slowly shook his head, "No, Forthe." He lifted his wand, "_Crucio!_"

A sudden pain erupted in his chest as his curse hit Maia; he could literally feel the agony that sent her into convulsions, but he knew he had to continue until Voldemort told him to stop. Gripping his wand until his knuckles turned white, he bit his lip and forced all his fury into the curse. Grunting with exertion, he let out a wordless cry as he felt Maia's presence slip away.

"STOP!" Voldemort ordered in a high shriek. Snape gratefully let his wand drop, staring, shattered, at the Dark Lord as he continued, "That is enough for today. Severus, take Maiawen down."

Snape gladly turned from Voldemort and stumbled toward Maia. Cutting her ropes with a flick of his wand and throwing the band from around her neck, he caught her as she slid from the pillar. "Forthe," he murmured into her hair, clutching her tightly in his arms. "Forthe."

Maia offered no response, dead to everything that was happening around her. He carried her unconscious form back into the manor, depositing her carefully onto her bed and wiping away what blood he could from her face. Touching her forehead with gentle fingers, he pressed his lips to the bridge of her nose and whispered, "Forgive me."

A low chuckle caused him to suddenly sit up and whirl around, "My lord."

Voldemort did not move from his place in the doorway. "Another one, Severus? Will you risk your loyalty to protect her, too?"

Snape lowered his gaze, "I would not risk my loyalty for anything, my lord. You know that."

"Do I?" Voldemort asked softly.

Snape turned back to Maia, looking sorrowfully at her troubled face, "My lord knows I cannot love again."

Voldemort gave a hissing laugh, "Of course." He paused, seeing Snape's expression, "But you come very close, Severus. You'd best be careful," he warned the man before exiting.

"Yes, my lord." Snape waited until he heard Voldemort's footsteps fade before he leaned in near Maia and kissed her cheek. He seemed as though he wanted to say something to her, but instead he sat up and went in search of the jar of salve he usually used when Maia got hurt.

…

It wasn't hard for Draco to find Cham, despite the ginormous (well...it is a word now) proportions of Malfoy Manor. She was where she usually was when she wasn't tormenting Snape or Maia, when she wanted to be alone and "think"...

In the kitchen, Cham was hovered over a chocolate cheesecake. It had obnoxious, bright neon green frosting spelling out "Welcome!", along with a badly-drawn Death Eater symbol, which looked more like a balloon then a menacing skull with a snake coming out of its mouth. Cham was analyzing the cheesecake with a look of great concentration on her face. By her hand was a serving knife, but she had not sliced into the cake yet.

Draco glanced around as he entered and grimaced; the place was a mess. Death Eaters and alcoholic beverages did not mix well. His father had thrown a party to celebrate the Dark Lord's presence in their home, much to the displeasure of the Dark Lord himself. There had been a huge feast, and some Death Eaters had even been brave enough to give Voldemort presents. Most of the gifts he had used as target practice, though he did quite enjoy the Harry Potter doll that fell over and screamed "Oh no, the Dark Lord has killed me," or "I should have known not to mess with the Dark Lord," when one aimed a curse at it.

Once Draco was by Cham's side, he recognized the cake she was scrutinizing. It was the one Voldemort had refused to eat, due to the fact that it wasn't made of "dark" chocolate. Draco placed his elbows on the counter and stared at Cham, waiting for her to notice him.

After several minutes, all of which during Cham didn't move a muscle, Draco cleared his throat loudly. Cham finally stirred. She reached into her pocket and pulled out something, then handed it to Draco. He stared for a moment at the small, oval-shaped wrapped package before realizing it was a muggle cough drop.

Draco finally gave in and asked, "What are you do-"

"SHH!" Cham whispered loudly, interrupting him. "You must not break my brain ocean."

"Huh?"

Cham turned and glared at him beneath her hair. "You know, my brain sea," she said impatiently.

Draco stared. "I have no idea what you are talking about," he admitted sheepishly.

"My brain water!"

"You have...water on the brain?"

"No, stoopid! Don't break my brain tides!"

Draco finally got it. "Oh...you mean your brain _waves_?"

Cham sighed loudly and impatiently. "Well, too late now, you broke them."

"Sorry. What were you doing, anyway?"

Cham turned and looked at the cheesecake again. She pointed at it, as if this would explain everything to poor, uniformed Draco. "You know. Trying to decide. Usually I can do it in ten minutes, but...this one is extra hard for some reason." She squinted at the cake, "Probably 'cuz I don't know what that's supposed to say..."

"It's supposed to be a drawing," Draco offered helpfully, "Though it is weird-looking..." he paused, "I still don't really understand what you are trying to do."

"Cut the cake, dummy," Cham said haughtily, and showed him the knife by her hand. "It's a very hard decision to know just where the perfect place is to begin."

There were some times during which Draco, no matter how hard he tried, or how many excuses he came up with, did not understand Cham. This was one of those times. "You could...cut it down...the middle?" he suggested.

"PAH!!!" Cham burst out, and she put on a face that looked as if it was a mix between a laugh and like she was about to throw up. "That would be the _obvious_ choice, now wouldn't it?"

"Erm...yeah?"

Cham sighed one of her melancholy sighs. "You just don't understand the delicate process of perfectly slicing the perfect cake. I, on the other hand, am a cake slicing _con-o-sewer_."

Draco wasn't sure if he was supposed to follow this or not. He glanced at the cake, then at the knife, trying to discover what was so hard about cutting a baked good. Draco finally just shifted closer to her and grabbed her hand to distract her from the cheesecake.

"Hey...Cham? Can I ask you something?" He asked casually.

"You just did," Cham replied in a bored voice.

"Oh...well..." he stammered.

"What?" Cham questioned, suddenly noticing his more-than usual pale face. "Did Snape bite you? He's been kinda snippy to me too lately..." she frowned.

"No, nothing like that..." Draco cleared his throat before continuing, "...You know how Professor Snape...k-...killed Dumbledore?"

Cham's face darkened and she nodded. She glanced down at Draco's hand holding hers; his palm was sweaty.

"Well...what would you think if...if I had?" he asked nervously.

Cham stared. "Killed...Dumbledore?" she said slowly, as if she hadn't heard him right. She frowned again, this time looking more troubled. "Why would you?" she finally asked. "Did Dumbledore hurt you or something?"

Draco avoided her black-haired gaze as he answered. "No, he didn't do anything. I was...supposed to do it. Lord Voldemort...told me to kill Dumbledore. But I didn't do it, I was too..." he trailed off.

"I'm sorry, Draco," Cham said firmly, "But I would be forced to kick you if you had done such a thing."

Draco stared at her in amazement. "That's it?"

Cham suddenly let go of his hand and clasped her arms about herself. She looked disturbed, Draco had never seen such an expression on her face. He figured this was all a little hard for her to take in, but he had to know.

"I'd be mad," Cham said finally. "Really, really mad."

This was no surprise. "Would you...forgive me?"

"I don't know."

"Your friend..."

"Maia?"

"Yes," Draco said. "She's still very angry with Professor Snape...I don't know if she will ever...if she...and him...what if I..." he stopped, looking a little ill.

"I guess," Cham said slowly, "I guess if you had a good reason...I guess I would forgive you...after a while." Her expression turned sour, "I think Maia will like Snape again, anyway."

"Okay," Draco said, drained but relieved. He put his head in his arms and studied Cham's face. "I don't really want to be a Death Eater," he admitted quietly.

"It's yucky," Cham agreed. She turned her attention back to the cake, glad that the conversation was over. "Now how am I going to cut this?" she asked herself.

"Why don't you just cut a piece for yourself and decide how to slice the rest later?" Draco suggested mildly.

Cham gazed at the cake, then looked at Draco. For a moment he was sure she would kick him in the shin and admonish him, but she suddenly grinned a blinding smile and smacked him on the back. "Draco, you are a...brainy person thingy!" she complimented him.

"Thanks," Draco gasped once he could breathe again.

After Cham carefully cut herself a piece of cheesecake and devoured it, she followed Draco out into the hallway towards their respective rooms. She let Draco grab her hand as they walked, and said after a moment, "You're a good boyfriend, Draco."

"What?" Draco asked, astonished. Cham had never used that term before; he hadn't even known she knew it.

"Aren't you?"

"I-yeah. Thanks," he answered a little sheepishly.

Cham suddenly leaned heavily on Draco, her way of "subtly" letting him know she wanted a kiss. He gladly obliged, but they were soon upon their rooms (across the hallway from each other), and were forced to separate.

Draco looked nervously about the dark hallway. He lowered his voice to a whisper and said, "Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?"

Cham looked at him curiously. "Why?"

"Well...it's just that...since the Dark Lord is here now...I..."

"Oh," said Cham. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"That's what I said!"

"No, I know, I was just...never mind. Come on." Draco grabbed her hand again and they entered his room.

X…X

As soon as Maia woke and felt able to sit up, she had determined that she was going to run away. It was bad enough that Voldemort had used her as an example to the other Death Eaters, but Snape? He had not only killed Dumbledore and cursed and insulted her, but she felt sure that he no longer felt anything resembling love for her. He rarely came into her room, and when he did, he was surly and pensive—not exactly talkative or understanding. She desperately wanted to forgive him; she wished that he would merely try asking her, but he hardly even looked at her anymore.

Finally, after a day's deliberation, she had figured out a plan. She only needed to make it outside unnoticed and into the forest behind the manor. Then she could fly away without any fear of being found and brought back. It didn't occur to her that she would be abandoning Cham. No; Draco would take care of her.

At that moment, Snape entered the room, holding the familiar tin of salve. "Lie down, Forthe," he ordered.

She did so, closing her eyes and waiting for him to open the salve. As she felt his fingers rub the soothing ointment into her wounds, she spoke, "Professor."

"What?" He halted in his application of the salve.

Maia opened her eyes and stared up at him, meeting his cold black gaze. Reading nothing affectionate or caring in his expression, she shook her head, "Never mind."

Snape stared at her for a few moments, calculating her silently. She knew what he was up to, and she resisted him by focusing on all her malice and anger. Maia knew it hurt him when she saw him wince and felt his presence back off a little. Even Snape couldn't handle the hurt she had bottled up inside her. He didn't stay for very much longer, closing the jar and stalking darkly from the room, frowning in thought.

Once she was sure he was gone, Maia propped herself up and looked around the room. She stuffed her wand into her back pocket and slowly stood, stealing toward the window and opening it carefully. Poking her head out, she cautiously scanned the back gardens for Death Eaters. Breathing with relief when she saw none, she climbed through the window and crept through bushes and shrubs, having to dive into a flowerbed once or twice when she thought she heard somebody following her.

At the border of the gardens, Maia crouched behind a tall rosebush and stared at the expanse of flat lawn between her and the forest. The only thing to do would be to make a run for it. She bit her lip and glanced back at the manor one more time before she firmly set her mind and dashed into the open. A sudden exclamation from far behind her caused her to run faster, knowing that somebody had seen her.

She raced into the woods, the trees whipping past her as she searched for a good spot where she could shapeshift undisturbed. Maia had just found what appeared to be a secluded clearing in the trees when a sudden voice caused her to spin around in alarm.

"Tsk, tsk…you poor little thing. What are you doing so far away from home? What **will** your parents say?"

Maia turned in the direction of the soft, sarcastic voice, catching sight of the tall, rangy man. "Fenrir—" She began, growling deep in her throat.

"Why hello, Maia," he grinned, taking a step toward her.

She backed up, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to make good on our deal."

"I don't remember any deal," she stalled.

"Ah, but you know how much I've thirsted for dragon blood."

Maia realized her time was up as he started for her in a very determined manner, his matted grey hair hanging in his eyes. She ran.

"Not this time, girl!" He lunged for her.

Dodging, she managed to escape his grasp, stumbling as she made for the manor. If only she could get out of the forest; somebody was sure to see her and go for help—"Argh—" The air was knocked out of her as Fenrir took another leap at her, sinking his teeth into the back of her ankle and severing the tendon.

Crying out in pain, she kicked back at him with her good leg, catching him in the nose. He yelped and loosed his grip on her calf, giving her time to scramble away, dragging her wounded leg behind her. After a few moments, however, Fenrir had recovered and pursued her again.

With his adrenaline levels rising, he found it particularly easy to catch her again, this time butting his head into the small of her back and pulling her down, his fingernails leaving gashes that ripped through her clothing and into her sides. Immediately after he got her on the ground, Fenrir straddled her, biting down on the back of her neck and grinding his teeth agonizingly on her spine. He didn't press too hard—knowing that he couldn't kill her—but it hurt enough to give her warning.

"Don't move, and this will be a lot less painful," he murmured against the back of her neck. His breath was still laboured, but it wasn't because he had been running. Fenrir pressed his eye teeth against her neck again, but not to bite down this time. He slid them down toward the softer skin of her throat, drawing a small drop of blood from under her pale flesh.

Maia shuddered, trying to reach her wand, but the hostile werewolf saw her hand move and he pulled the wand from her pocket, throwing it a ways into the forest. She emitted a small groan of disappointment before going limp, her eyes rolling back into her head.

At that very moment Snape (who was in the middle of saying something sarcastic to Lucius) jumped, feeling a sudden jolt in his gut. His face was distorted with pain for a fleeting moment, and he stood immediately afterward. Something was not right.

Bursting onto the grounds behind the manor, he immediately caught sight of a figure crouched over something. Upon seeing him, the shadowy form straightened and bounded off; leaving what looked like another person on the ground. Snape cursed, expecting the worst. As he came closer, the dread settled in his stomach, and he knew that he might be too late.

Kneeling beside Maia, he quickly assessed the damage. Because she was lying on her back, it was difficult for him to see the bite marks on the back of her neck, but he could easily see the damage done to her side and her throat. Glancing down, he noticed that her leg was twisted in a very unnatural position. Was it broken? He put his hand to her calf, feeling a tight knot about halfway up. Catching sight of her ankle, he realized suddenly that whoever had attacked her had hamstringed her and broken the tendon.

"Greyback," he muttered darkly, trying to fix what parts of Maia he could.

Maia suddenly twitched and blinked, her eyes opening slightly, "Professor?"

"Forthe," he began angrily, "why is it that every time I put you right, you find it necessary to go and get broken again?"

She smiled faintly, "I like it…when you worry…over me."

He sighed exasperatedly but couldn't help gently brushing her blue hair back over her forehead. "Forthe…" His voice was soft this time, and it carried none of the threatening undertones it had before. "I—"

"Severus, what happened?" Lucius interrupted, kneeling beside Snape.

The man put on an annoyed face, replying with a snide comment, sending Lucius to find Maia's wand. Maia didn't catch the rest of the conversation, too disappointed that she had not been able to hear what Snape had wanted to say to her. She had to satisfy herself with the fact that his hand had inadvertently found hers and he clung to it even as he lifted her into his arms and carried her back toward the manor.

X…X

Much to Voldemort's displeasure, there were several Death Eaters who came to see Maia once she had been bandaged up and healed as best as she could be. This might have been due to Cham's coercion, but it worked, and Maia seemed a little happier to know that she had been missed. It was Snape, however, who she cared about the most, and even though he merely lurked far away in a dark corner and watched her, she was glad that he was still there.

Indeed, he was the only one who remained in her room after a few hours, waiting even until after Cham had left. He still stared at her for a few more minutes before shifting his weight and approaching her. Maia tried to sit up a little bit, scooting backward and leaning up against a pillow.

Sitting beside her on the bed, Snape put a hand on her leg, just above her knee and leaned toward her as if he was going to kiss her. Maia thought he was for a moment, but he stopped with his face just an inch from hers.

"What in Merlin's name were you trying to do, Forthe?" He asked angrily. "Are you suicidal?"

Maia's face fell, her eyes dropping. "No," she mumbled.

Snape sighed exasperatedly, "Then why did you try to run away? You aren't so important that the dark lord would hesitate to kill you."

She shrugged, "I dunno."

Maia felt Snape's fingers close around her arms, vicelike as he snarled, "Look at me, Forthe!"

Maia looked up, her eyes dull and yellowish. "I'm tired of being hurt by you, professor," she stated in a monotone voice, refusing to get angry. She wasn't sure she could stand any more anger. "Please stop, or go away."

Snape seemed taken aback for a few minutes. Finally his grip on her loosened and he let his hands gently brush her arms as they dropped. He gave her a calculating stare before touching the side of her cheek with a finger. Sighing, he stood as if he was going to leave, but he had barely made it halfway to the door before something stopped him.

Whirling around, he strode back toward the bed, a finger raised as if he was going to reprimand her. "Forthe," he began in a stern voice, sitting beside her once more. "Forthe, I—"

Maia stopped him, touching the tips of her fingers to his mouth. "You want me to forgive you," she stated quietly, drawing her hand back.

He took her hand in his, bringing it back up to his mouth and kissing her fingertips gently, lingering on each one for a moment before moving to the next. "Forthe," he breathed through her fingers as he touched her palm with his lips. His black eyes met hers and he moaned, "Merlin, I am so sorry."

Maia's hand brushed his cheek, dropping into his lap, where his hand was waiting to clasp hers in a tight grip. She smiled so slightly that it was almost imperceptible. "I forgive you," she whispered.

Snape closed his eyes in relief, leaning closer to her and kissing her. "If I could kiss you for everything I've done wrong—"

Maia let out a soft laugh, "We'd be here all night, professor."

He agreed gravely, "Yes."

Maia's eyes suddenly lit up, "How about we do this? I'm going to take a bath and try to relax a little. You can make things up to me when I get out." As she said this, Maia plucked the top three buttons of Snape's robe loose, running her hand over his chest.

He smiled at her through half-closed eyes, "I like that idea."

Maia sat up completely and tried to stand.

Snape caught her as she stumbled, murmuring softly in her ear, "Let me help you, Forthe. You aren't completely healed yet."

Maia nodded and closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around Snape's neck as he carried her into the bathroom. He gently and carefully helped her disrobe, watching as she slid into the bathtub. She laid her head against the rim, smiling warmly when she felt Snape's hands slip into the water and grip her shoulders, squeezing gently. He put his lips to her ear, muttering, "You'd better hurry up and relax. I'm beginning to get ideas."

Maia tilted her head back and kissed him, "So am I," she replied in a silky voice.

"Well then," Snape made a grab for a towel, but Maia stopped him.

"I still need to try to relax," she protested.

"Forget that," Snape stated impatiently.

Maia dipped her head underwater for a moment before assenting, "Alright, fine." She stepped out of the tub and into the towel he held out for her.

Snape watched her with interest as she tried to dry her hair as much as possible.

"Well?" She asked, glancing at him.

He raised an eyebrow, "What?"

Maia held out her arms, making Snape wonder what exactly was holding her towel up. "You've got to carry me back."

"Of course." He did so with haste.

"I love you," he managed to groan as he joined Maia on the bed and let her wrap her arms around his neck.

"That's good to hear," Maia replied softly, a warm feeling filling her chest and spreading throughout her body. She had missed the part of Snape that could admit he loved her. Giggling, she jumped when he suddenly transplanted his lips from her mouth to her ear and then to her throat. "What are you doing?"

"Stop talking and I'll show you," he breathed against her skin.

Maia gladly obeyed as she felt his legs slide around hers, drawing her extremely close. When Maia laughed, he took the opportunity to kiss her again, enveloping her mouth with his.

"I don't think I'll be able to do you justice, Forthe," he muttered against her mouth.

She hit him playfully on the shoulder with a fist, "Oh, please just stop talking. You are the least humble person I know."

"You're right," Snape suddenly drew away, frowning thoughtfully, "You don't deserve me. I think I'll just go find another Death Eater who feels like having an intimate philosophical conversation."

Maia pulled him closer, "I don't think Lucius feels that way about you, Severus."

Snape would have laughed at her attempt at humour, but he was distracted by something else she had said. "What did you call me?"

Maia smiled and kissed him on the bride of his nose, "Severus. Why? Do you not like that? I could always just call you 'Snapey Dear.'"

Snape made a face, "If I live forever I will never let you call me that." His face changed to a more pleasing expression, and he touched Maia's nose with his, murmuring, "Say my name again."

"Severus."

He shivered and kissed Maia, "I like that."

Maia was about to say it again, but there was a sudden loud noise that resembled a door being slammed open and Cham's loud voice exclaiming, "Hello happy peoples!"

Snape shot upright with fury, swiftly standing and charging Cham while Maia pulled the sheets up to her chin. "CHARM! You know not to go bursting into rooms like that!"

Cham cackled gleefully, "Ahaha, but do I really?" She dodged an attack and went zooming out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Snape let out a loud string of curses.

"Professor," Maia called him back into reality.

He approached, scowling darkly as he joined her under the sheets again. "There is nothing in this world I loathe more than Charm," he muttered.

Maia kissed him with a smile, "Welcome back."


	34. The RDTM

_Hey! What's up guys! So sorry for the insanely long wait. This story has been on way hiatus for forever. Well, one of us was going through old stuff and found this. It begged to be posted. So here it is! Enjoy!_

Snape realized he had a problem. He realized this when Maia came in to bother him a few days after what had been dubbed as 'the Fenrir Incident.' She sat across the desk he was sitting at, placing herself neatly in the seat in a calm and businesslike manner. He hoped she wasn't angry with him.

After a few moments of just watching him scratch words on a piece of parchment, Maia spoke, "You know, professor, I noticed you didn't get me anything to make me feel better."

He didn't stop writing, nor did he look up as he responded, "I **healed** you, didn't I?"

"But what about flowers and chocolate? Those things count too," Maia persisted.

"Mmm," he grunted, absorbed wholly in his work.

Maia got angry very quickly, "Hey! I'm a woman and I'm mad, so you'd better stop working and pay attention to me!"

He set his quill down, looking up and sighing impatiently, "**What???**"

Maia spoke, "This morning I was thinking—"

"Oh no," he muttered.

"Shut up and listen!" Maia shouted in a mad voice. After a few moments' pause, she continued, "Professor, I've noticed that you have a problem. A problem that lies mainly in the area of romance."

"Is that so?" Snape asked as patiently as he could. "I quite clearly remember several acts of romance in the past week, namely done by me."

"Yes," Maia said sarcastically, "And you just happened to do them while I was angry at you."

Snape thought for a moment before replying slowly and carefully, "So…?"

"Romance is an every day thing! It keeps the relationship **happy**!" She shouted in a not so happy voice.

"So you want me to act like this…" He switched into a highly annoying, high-pitched, baby-voice that most people everyone who knew him had no idea he could make; "Maia-kins, let's go to that lovely restaurant down the road. I'll even rent a magic carpet, and we can eat by candlelight and I'll rub your back in a bathtub full of rose petals soaked in—"

"STOP!!" Maia interrupted, her hands clenched to the sides of her head. "You're making my ears bleed!" She paused, "Although the backrub sounds nice."

Snape sat back smugly, "There, you see? Our relationship doesn't need such moronic flatteries."

Maia crossed her arms, "I guess you're right." She replied spitefully. Tapping her chin in thought, she spoke again, "Although technically philosophizing in bed is considered romantic." Shrugging she added, "Oh well. Like you said: we don't need it."

Snape looked on in horror as Maia walked out, a straightness to her back that showed she had won the argument.

After staring sadly at his paper for forever—he found he could not concentrate enough to write—he decided that he needed help. He must have stated this out loud, because Cham fell from behind a particularly ugly statue of Lucius' grandfather. "Heck yes, you do!"

In the process of throwing the babbling Cham out of the room, Snape realized that he **could** get help. In fact, Narcissa came readily to mind. So he went to bother her.

Once in one of the numerous studies in the house, he sat down when she indicated he could do so.

"What seems to be the problem, Severus?"

He seemed reluctant to tell her, "I…er…have a friend, yes…er…with a problem."

"Dealing with?" She prompted him.

He muttered something indecipherably.

"I'm sorry, Severus, but if you don't speak up, I won't be able to help you."

Snape opened his mouth, but what emitted was a small, funny noise that resembled the sound a duck would make if it were being flayed. He cleared his throat and tried again, "I mean…you see, I—my friend is having difficulty…that is to say, his girlfriend is…well, technically my friend doesn't…I mean, it isn't really his fault…er…she says he needs to—that is…"

"Get to the point," said Narcissa in a pleasantly nasty voice that sounded suspiciously like Lucius.

Snape merely replied, "…"

Narcissa interrupted, "You…r friend…is having trouble with romance, isn't he?"

Snape sighed in relief, "Yes."

Narcissa opened a drawer beside her, "Well, you…r friend…is in luck. My husband and I have these muggle pills—"

Snape held his hands up quickly, "No! Not **that**!" He thought for a minute and decided he wanted to delete Narcissa's entire last comment from his mind. "I meant **real** romance, like flowers and…things like that," he finished lamely.

"Oh, well first you have to have the right attitude about it."

"I **do**…I mean, my **friend** does," he replied darkly.

She sighed, "Start with the small things, Severus…or, at least, tell your friend to."

"Such as?"

"Try smiling," she stated flatly.

"Oh, like you ever smile," he responded snidely.

Narcissa broke into a dazzling smile that surprised (and blinded) him. "Just because I **don't**, doesn't mean I don't know how to." She paused, "You…or at least your friend, on the other hand, **can't**."

"Forget the friend," he replied.

X...X

Several hours later, Snape emerged from the room feeling enlightened, yet sickened. But, he **had **an idea now.

Closing himself in a bathroom and locking the door, he stared resolutely at the mirror. He tried grinning, and the response of the mirror was an ominous crack. He grimaced, but plodded on through the dark depths on the path to smiledom.

Approximately an hour later, Snape heard faint giggling and realized he was not alone. He threw open the cupboard doors, glaring around the room, looking for the person. Then he noticed a hole in the wall next to the mirror. It looked pitch black, but on closer inspection it could be seen that it was really black hair covering an eye that was peeking through the hole.

Snape grabbed a toothbrush and jammed it through the small opening.

"Owie!" came a squeal from the other side of the wall. There was a pause, and then another giggle. "I don't know which hurt more," Cham said, "The toothbrush, or seeing you smile."

Snape growled and threw open the bathroom door, (yes, he forgot to unlock it. Yes, he broke the bolts) and proceeded to chase Cham down the hallway, bellowing threats above her terrified squealing.

Cham was saved as Maia rounded the corner, wondering what all the noise was. The black haired girl hid behind a startled Maia just as Snape screeched to a halt.

"Er…Forthe," Snape said awkwardly as he fumbled in his robes. He pulled out a small piece of parchment filled with compliments Narcissa had written for him. He read it quickly and stated, "You look…very nice today."

Maia smiled, "Um…thanks, I suppose."

Cham, meanwhile, was astonished, "Did he just say something nice?"

Snape glared at her, and Cham went back to hiding behind Maia.

"I…" Snape stuttered, finally pointing down the hallway, "I have to go now."

He stalked past the two girls, glaring at Cham with a look that clearly said he was going to get her later. Cham squeaked and raced off in the opposite direction. Maia just stood all by herself in the hall, very confused by now. How strange that her professor should suddenly start to compliment her…

And so, the 'Romantic Date for Two Morons,' as Snape had dubbed it, started the next day. Narcissa had given him a "cheat sheet" as Maia would call it, a "List" as Cham would call it, and a "life saver" as Snape called it. As was normal for Narcissa, it wasn't an ordinary cheat-List-saver, she had fancied it up. It was enchanted, each item was decorated with various drawn flowers, and it sparkled. (He was just happy it wasn't a revolting colour). Snape knew the RDTM had begun the following evening when he heard the cheat-List-saver give a faint, pleasant tinkle and felt it vibrate in his pocket, much like Cham's cellular iWand when she was getting a message. (He only knew this, of course, because he had confiscated it, stuck it in one of his front pockets, and got a nasty jolt of surprise during his fifth period when it vibrated).

Snape slipped out of the room while Maia was busy flipping boredly through a Teen Wizard magazine and burning random pages. He sent an owl to check on his reservations at the fancy wizard restaurant, Merlin's Mansion, and retrieved the bouquet of flowers from its hiding place. A few of them had wilted. How was he supposed to know red roses needed water? He wasn't a herbologist.

He went back into the room after the owl returned confirming his reservations. Maia looked up as he walked in, and glanced at the roses. Her eyes slit suspiciously, so Snape tried a smile to appease her. This, was of course, a disaster, (for some reason, the part of his brain that was supposed to order the corners of his mouth to turn up and out didn't work), but Maia got the general gist of what he was trying to do.

Maia stuck her nose in the flowers and inhaled deeply, a pleased smile on her face. Snape pulled out the cheat-List-saver and read from it, in a monotone voice, "My love for you dies when all twelve of these roses die," he paused and added, "One of them is plastic."

Maia stared at him. Then she laughed. "That's okay; the roses are just fine with out the sappy phrase."

Snape flushed and glared at her. "Be nice," he snapped, "Or I'll give you the dragonsbane flowers I bought for back up."

Maia rolled her eyes. Snape glanced at a large, ornate, wooden, and rather ugly grandfather clock nailed to the wall (Lucius had taken no chances after Maia's last escapade), and quickly grabbed Maia. "Come on, there's something else."

"Are we going to dinner?" asked Maia excitedly.

"That was supposed to be a secret," Snape grumbled as they walked towards the front door.

After a few minutes, (hey, Malfoy Manor is that large), Maia said, "You don't really have dragonsbane flowers, do you?"

Snape glanced at her and sighed. "No. Dragonsbane doesn't even grow flowers."

"I didn't think so."

"But I probably could have replaced the smell with extract of dragonsbane."

"You're ruining the romance."

Snape opened the door for Maia, just as he had learned, and growled back at her, "You're the one who didn't like the phrase."

"I liked it, it was just stupid," Maia paused and added, "Sorta like Cham."

"Thanks," said Snape sarcastically. He pointed to an object on the ground. "That's the portkey." He picked it up with the hem of his robe and held it out to Maia.

"Chocolate filled frog-eyes!" Maia squealed as she recognized the box.

"Glad you like them," Snape said dryly. They both touched the portkey, and Snape said, just before they disappeared, "Let's not bring Charm up again, it'll ruin the evening."

Snape supported Maia as they stumbled into the restaurant. "I hate portkeys," Maia said froggily. "You should have let me dragonize and fly us here…or you could have gotten a limo or something…"

"I hate flying, and I hate muggle cars," Snape grumbled. He checked in with the fancy Italian-accented waiter, who nodded and crossed out their names on his list.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" asked Maia, holding out her box of frog-eyes.

Snape rolled his eyes. "I'll put them in a pocket if you like."

Maia snatched her candy out of his grasp. "No, it might get lost."

"Lost?"

"Like Cham's pockets—"

"Don't bring up Charm."

"Well, they might melt."

"Fine. Hold them, then."

"I will." Maia replied defiantly as the waiter led them to a fancy, Italian-themed table.

"Are there wizards in Italy?" asked Maia as they sat down.

"If there are wizards in America," said Snape dryly, "then it would be an easy thing for wizards to reside in Italy."

Maia chose not to respond, but only because her mouth was full of candy.

"Don't ruin your dinner," scolded Snape before he caught himself. "Fine. This is your night; do whatever you like."

Maia swallowed and grinned widely at him.

Snape groaned, "I'm going to regret I said that later, aren't I?"

The waiter returned, and said in what sounded like his snobbiest voice, "May I take your order?"

Maia looked at him and laughed at his funny little moustache that curled at the ends. Snape quickly ordered for them.

"I wanted pizza, not fettuccini alfredo with shrimp," Maia complained.

"Well," Snape replied nastily, "If you had been paying attention instead of snorting at our waiter—"

"I don't snort!" Maia quickly cut in.

They glared at each other in silence for a moment, then Maia's attention wandered to the candles that were strewn about the tabletop. She smiled delightedly, and proceeded to blow out and relight them over and over.

Snape finally made her stop when she started to get out of hand and almost set the tablecloth aflame. "Candles are to look at and smell, not play dragon with."

"That's no fun," Maia grumbled, but was distracted from further argument when the food arrived.

Snape was beginning to feel quite satisfied with himself. So far their disputes had been interrupted, and Maia remained relatively happy and content.

"Hey, Professor, lookatme!" Maia exclaimed.

Snape watched in disgust as Maia used the shrimp for props. She stuck two shrimp under her front lip and let them hang out. "I'm a walrus!"

"Charm would say you looked more like a vampire," Snape replied dryly and then remembered that he wasn't supposed to mention her.

Maia ignored him and put the shrimp on either side of her neck and made a hideous face. "I'm Frankenstein's Monster!"

"And I'm the poor man that created you."

Maia placed the shrimp on each side of her head. "I'm a goat!"

"Be careful, I eat kids," Snape said, and was surprised at himself. It was the first time he had ever attempted a pun.

The shrimp moved to the front of Maia's head. "I'm a dragon!"

"You don't need shrimp to prove that." Despite himself, Snape was actually having a teensy bit of fun.

But then Maia put the shrimp on top of her head, resembling a devil, and said "I'm you!"

Snape decided the fun should probably end before it got any worse. "You sound like Charm," he said, and took the shrimp away.

"Yeah, okay," Maia agreed to the ending of the game. She was hungry anyway.

The rest of dinner went in relative peace, in terms of Maia. Snape was of course embarrassed by her slurping of the noodles, and talking with her mouth full. (It wasn't even mentionable that she used the tablecloth to clean up). He hadn't realized she was so sloppy, before he turned…romantic.

The portkey that teleported them home was a sparkly gift-wrapped box (once again, courtesy of Narcissa), but Snape told Maia she couldn't open it yet. When they got back to Malfoy Manor, they were satisfyingly full, but a little dizzy from the portkey.

Snape made them stop in front of the door to their room. He pulled out the cheat-List-saver and crossed out various items on it. He grimaced as he put it away and reached down to Maia.

"What are you doing?" she asked, and pushed his hands away.

"I'm supposed to carry you," he said grumpily.

"Who says?"

"Narcissa."

"She planned this?"

"Yes," said Snape in a small voice.

Maia looked at him, wondering if she should be angry. She decided she didn't want to. It had been a nice night, anyway. "I don't like being carried," she said finally. Snape looked relieved that she wasn't mad and that he didn't have to pick her up.

They walked in, and Maia admired the rose petals on the floor, leading to the bathroom.

"House elves," explained Snape, when she looked at him questioningly.

Maia squealed with delight and ran towards the bathtub. "Bubbly bath!" she yelled happily. In one movement she was out of her clothes and into the tub; all Snape saw was a brief streak.

"So…" he said, watching Maia admire the candlelit setting and then play with the bubbles "…You can just relax…and I'll be over here…" he pointed vaguely at the bed. What a strange feeling, seeing that gleeful, beaming expression on her face.

When Maia lost interest of the bubbles she got out (she never really relaxed). She was about to put on her robe, (not a wizard's robe, it's one of those pink fuzzy things that you put on after a bath…except Maia's isn't pink…and it's decorated with cartoon dragons burning things into crisps…), but Snape quickly placed the box in her hands. "Here," he said, "Put this on instead."

Maia unwrapped it, throwing away the ribbon with a look of mild disgust. She pulled out the thin, revealing nightgown and stared at Snape.

"Um," he said awkwardly, "That wasn't really on the list, but…"

"You might as well have given me a box of nothing," Maia giggled, but to Snape's delight (yes, Snape has delight, only usually it involves someone else with pain), slipped it on.

There followed a night of such deep philosophical discussions that they probably could have solved world hunger and cured cancer.

But the best part of the whole thing was that they got to sleep in late the next day…

…Or, at least, tried to.

The doors slammed open and Cham tromped in and threw open all the curtains as fast as she could (which was approximately 3.55496 seconds). "GOOD MORNING, happy peoples!" she exclaimed in her most annoying, most cheerful voice.

Maia screeched like a bandit (as opposed to screeching like a banshee) and burrowed under the covers. Snape clasped his hands over his eyes and groaned loudly.

Cham glanced at him suspiciously. "What?" she said in a dark voice, "Don't you like a little light?"

"You're going to be a little less happy if you don't leave!" bellowed Snape at Cham. It wasn't helping things that Maia had just bitten his leg in half-asleep, animal anger.

Cham left.

By the time Snape had angrily stumbled around, found his wand, closed the curtains, and healed his leg—cursing the entire time—both he and Maia were wide awake.

They lay in bed for a minute, thinking wistfully of sleep. Then Maia said, "Last night was nice…for the most part. But I don't think you should be romantic."

Snape leapt up in outrage. "I went through all that—" he stuttered in anger, "You said that I wasn't—and now you change your…all that practicing and lessons and…and money! All that money spent…and now you…!"

Maia looked at him solemnly until he stuttered himself angrily into a deep, dark hole. "Maybe once and a while is okay."

Snape clutched his head. He was getting the beginnings of a very bad, temper-inducing migraine.

"Come on," Maia said cheerfully and got dressed. "I'll make breakfast. I don't like how the house elves cook the eggs." She snickered. "The British always make their eggs runny and gross."

Snape followed her out, (after he was dressed), and snapped after a few minutes, (his mind was slow from the oncoming migraine), "No we don't."

Cham, meanwhile, was listening to music. She had finally managed to tune her iWand into the magic currents of Malfoy Manor, and she was currently singing along loudly with one of her favourite songs. "Yesterday I lost my clooosest friend…" the iWand hummed in a depressing tone. Cham belted out with it, "Yesterday I lost my clooothes again!"

She eventually lost interest, however, when she figured out that the stupid song wasn't getting the words right. She wandered to the kitchen, after remembering that when her stomach growled she was hungry. She was about to push the doors open when she heard voices bickering, so she decided it would be more interesting to listen.

Cham heard Maia's voice first, complaining bossily, "No, Professor, you're not doing it right."

It was difficult to hear Snape's grumbled response, but Maia's next comment was louder than the first, "Professor, that's too big!"

Cham's eyes widened.

"Don't do that, that's disgusting!" Snape replied loudly.

A few moments passed in relative silence before Maia spoke again, "No, that does **not** go there!"

"Why don't **you** do it, then?" Snape snapped.

"My hands are full if you haven't noticed!"

"Put it down then!"

Maia groaned in exasperation, "Merlin! Men can't find anything, can they?"

There were a few moments silence during which Cham pressed her ear closer to the door before she heard Maia shriek, "Professor, that's disgusting! Don't use your finger; use a utensil for Merlin's sake!"

"Well don't bite!"

"Maybe if you'd do it right—"

"I've done this plenty of times! I think I **know** how to do it!"

There was another huffy pause before Snape exclaimed, "Don't put your tongue on it!"

"Do you mind? This requires a lot of concentration."

"I know that!"

"Dammit! We should have used a protection spell."

Cham chose that exact moment to intervene, having heard enough. She was nervous about what she might find inside, and she burst in, screeching, "Why are you doing that in here?!?"

Maia and Snape both just looked at her, "Because you make eggs in the kitchen…" Maia replied.

Cham took in her surroundings. Both of the arguers were fully clothed, standing next to the stove, a pile of smoking burnt eggs in the pan. Maia and Snape were both clutching a spatula in their hands, apparently fighting over it.

"But…but…" Cham stuttered in confusion, "the biting…"

Snape glared at Maia, rubbing his shoulder absently with a hand, "Yes, Forthe bites—painfully hard, I might add—when she's angry. Now do you mind leaving? We're busy."

Cham stared at them for another few moments before deciding it wasn't worth it. She could go hungry for the rest of the morning…


End file.
